Never Ending
It’s a blur of condolences and salty tears. Whispered “sorry” and enduring hugs. Trembling knees and a forever empty room.
Minho and Onew both have reassuring hands on each of Kibum’s shoulders. They stay silent, knowing that nothing they could say would change anything.
Kibum wants to laugh, it’s all so absurd. It can’t possibly be true. He looks at the door, waiting for Jonghyun to come in at any moment that follows - with his stupid grin and asking for a kiss with his eyes shyly fixed on the floor.
Minutes drag on as years and Kibum finally realizes that, no, Jonghyun will never come back.
He lets out a heart wrenching scream.
“White roses were his favorite,” Kibum says, looking down at the flower in his hand.
It’s Jonghyun’s funeral and Kibum is sitting at the stairs. He knows he has to go back and bid his lover goodbye. The first goodbye that won’t end up with him coming back in a few hours with a cheery smile and chocolate with vanilla cream, he knows… he knew it was the only sweet thing Kibum would ever eat because he feared that his waistline might end up deformed.
Kibum laughs sadly at the thought, something that mattered to him so much in the past is now meaningless. Nothing is important without his Dino.
Gentle wind rustles the leaves on the ground, almost serenely. It’s early autumn.
All eyes are fixed on him as he enters. All conversations come to an abrupt halt.
Kibum walks slowly, he never wants to reach his destination. He leans over the casket and looks at his lover.
He looks so peaceful. If his chest were moving, Kibum would think he was sleeping.
But he wasn’t. Kibum leans even closer for the final kiss. Jonghyun’s lips are stone cold but just as soft as Kibum remembers.
‘He’ll never kiss back’ Kibum thinks as he feels the last piece of his heart break into a million fragments. Again and again.
You took my heart with yours in the afterlife. Forever combined.
That’s what’s written on Jonghyun’s tombstone, bellow his birth date and the day he died.
Kibum visits every day and talks to him for hours. He feels better when he shares, proving to him somehow that he will always be present. He would never fade away.
He talks about silly things like how watermelon smoothie shot out of Taemin’s nose when he laughed too hard, how Onew’s chicken obsession is driving him mad daily, about Minho’s latest victory at soccer but there is something he always says before he leaves.
I will always love you. You are the one.