X-Men: The Last Stand

[jonsan]

Worst. Movie. Ever.

I found a reviewer who aptly described the (hopefully) final X-Men film movie as "Michael Bay's Schindler's List". Hopefully, a director of Christopher Nolan's caliber will reinvent the franchise a decade from now.

Comments

[innocent_man]

Aw, c'mon. Can't apply superlatives like that without at least quoting a bad line or something. (I haven't seen it yet.)

[jonsan]

That's one of the problems, really. None of the bad lines were geeky enough to illicit a chuckle, and none of them were particularly memorable. THe movie was essentially a ton of exposition without basis in the first 2 movies, interspersed with action sequences focused on character we haven't known long enough to care about.

Also, what the hell is up with Halle Berry? She can act, I've seen her in movies where she can act, but she gets near a super-hero role and all of a sudden she goes thesbtarded. Seriously.

[raving_liberal]

But I thought Schindler's List was a good movie. I'm confused.

[jonsan]

Right, but Michael Bay producing Schindler's List would probably involve an epic battle sequence and very little screen time for Liam Neeson.

Naw, he's right

[zxhrue]

Doesn't even rate quoting bad lines. Worthy of only fast-forwarding to the action scenes, and even then some supplemental nose-holding may be required.

[thesilverknight]

Maybe you'll finally shut the hell up about Underworld now....

And based on your Michael Bay comment I had to check IMDB just to make sure he didn't get near this thing. I'm still hoping that Transformers (A Michael Bay Film)tm will be like Armageddeon. A piece of crap yes, but a thoroughly enjoyable piece of crap. At least for me.

[jonsan]

Last Stand is a turkey, Underworld is a drumstick.

I never saw Armagedon, and I really don't plan to. I have yet to see a film that benefitted from two-dimensional characters and shallow story structure, regardless of the awesome super-FX. I'm not sure how they could possibly top the cartoon.

"Megatron, is that you?"

[thesilverknight]

Are you seriously suggesting that The Last Stand was better than Underworld? I have never claimed that UW was good, far from it. But it certainly is loads better than the contrived, ego consumed, crap fest TLS turned out to be. I can really think of no redeming value to TLS (except for maybe, "I'm the Juggernaught, bitch!" and that is beyond negligible.)

Honestly I should have known better than to start this converation with you. With others, the three forbidden subjects tend to be religion, politics and the opposite sex. You and I have just one that's movies.

"Here's a hint."

[jonsan]

Think negative numbers: -1 > -100

Drumstick > Turkey

Underworld > X-Men: tLS

however

Demon Knight > Underworld (Suck it!)

Maybe you should switch to decaf, I wasn't slamming your precious Underworld. I'm glad you could recognize TLS as pure crap. The original storyline proposed by Brian Singer sounded pretty cool, as does the series of Whedon comics used as the basis for X-Men: tLS.

[danieltallon]

I was tempted to walk away from that movie in theaters. Once I realized the end of the film was coming up (and still angry they changed my favorite good guy into a bad comical seond rate bad-guy), and hardly anything seemed resolved from all the plots they opened, I knew there was no saving that story.

[jonsan]

Callisto? (not sure if she was good)

[danieltallon]

Multiple-Man.

[jonsan]

Ahh, I forgot he was a hero.

I was really bummed about Juggernaut. Really, they could have made Magneto's recruitment of Juggernaut (using a more traditional version of the character) as a major plot arc in an X-Men movie. He could have been a really scary villain.