I Came, I Saw, I Slimed
Title: I Came, I Saw, I Slimed
Characters: Ianto, Gwen, Slime Monster
Rating/warning: PG - One naughty word
Spoliers: None
Synopsis: That was not Ianto's happy face.
Word count: 514
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Torchwood.
AN: This is a very silly little fic prompted by a line in "Pack Animals" where Gwen says (and I'm paraphrasing as I don't have the book with me) "Gwen could think of much worse things, like the incident last night with Ianto, the slime monster and the mop and bucket." I admit I dashed this off quickly, sorry for any errors, but the muse daemon wouldn't shut up until it was done.
“What is that still doing up here?”
Ianto stood with his hands on his hips addressing Gwen but looking at the slime monster that stood next to her.
“With the escaped weevils running amok in the cells I can’t take it down there until Jack and Owen get back with the new batch of weevil spray. And besides, I think he’s…she’s…it’s harmless.”
The slime monster rippled and somehow managed to contort its formless shape into something that exuded happiness at Gwen’s words.
“It may be harmless, but it is a slime monster, Gwen, slime. And it is getting slime all over the Hub.”
The slime monster rippled some more and suddenly Ianto was very aware that he was clearly being disapproved of.
“Ianto, we can’t let him down there with the loose weevils”
“What’s the worst a weevil can do to a tower of slime? If they gnaw a piece off they’ll just be chewing on it for hours like toffee.”
“Ianto!” Gwen looked horrified and turned to the slime monster. The slime monster slunk back and managed to ripple itself into something that appeared to be fear.
“You can’t say things like that. Look, you’ve upset it. Besides, do you want to go down there right now?”
“No, but that - Thing - can’t stay up here. You need to take it to a cell or a holding room.”
“No, it is staying up here with me.” Gwen glared defiantly at Ianto who fixed her with a stern look. He saw the slime monster’s slippery surface change again and if he didn’t know better he could have sworn that it stuck it’s tongue out at him.
“Right, you want the slime monster, fine.”
Ianto disappeared and came back a minute later with a mop and a bucket. He held them out towards Gwen.
“You love the slime so much, you can clean the slime. I am not getting any of that on my suit.”
The slime monster pulled itself into what seemed to be a pondering expression. It slowly reached out a tendril towards Ianto and placed it wetly on his face. The tendril pulsed and swelled and the slime monster ran a big, wet, slimey tentacle down the length of Ianto’s body, covering him completely in slime.
The tentacle was retracted. Ianto stood still for a moment gasping, slime dripping from his body in great blobby blobs. The mop and bucket fell from his hands.
Ianto looked at the slime monster and then looked at Gwen.
Gwen looked at the slime monster and then looked at Ianto.
The slime monster looked pleased with itself.
Gwen swallowed at the expression on Ianto’s face. That was not his happy face. No, not by a long way was that his happy face. Well, she’d never seen his really happy face, but this was definitely not it.
Gwen backed away from him, indicating the slime monster should follow her.
“We’ll, ah, just leave you to it.”
With that Gwen turned and fled. A shitload of angry weevils were a lot less terrifying than Ianto right now.
Characters: Ianto, Gwen, Slime Monster
Rating/warning: PG - One naughty word
Spoliers: None
Synopsis: That was not Ianto's happy face.
Word count: 514
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Torchwood.
AN: This is a very silly little fic prompted by a line in "Pack Animals" where Gwen says (and I'm paraphrasing as I don't have the book with me) "Gwen could think of much worse things, like the incident last night with Ianto, the slime monster and the mop and bucket." I admit I dashed this off quickly, sorry for any errors, but the muse daemon wouldn't shut up until it was done.
“What is that still doing up here?”
Ianto stood with his hands on his hips addressing Gwen but looking at the slime monster that stood next to her.
“With the escaped weevils running amok in the cells I can’t take it down there until Jack and Owen get back with the new batch of weevil spray. And besides, I think he’s…she’s…it’s harmless.”
The slime monster rippled and somehow managed to contort its formless shape into something that exuded happiness at Gwen’s words.
“It may be harmless, but it is a slime monster, Gwen, slime. And it is getting slime all over the Hub.”
The slime monster rippled some more and suddenly Ianto was very aware that he was clearly being disapproved of.
“Ianto, we can’t let him down there with the loose weevils”
“What’s the worst a weevil can do to a tower of slime? If they gnaw a piece off they’ll just be chewing on it for hours like toffee.”
“Ianto!” Gwen looked horrified and turned to the slime monster. The slime monster slunk back and managed to ripple itself into something that appeared to be fear.
“You can’t say things like that. Look, you’ve upset it. Besides, do you want to go down there right now?”
“No, but that - Thing - can’t stay up here. You need to take it to a cell or a holding room.”
“No, it is staying up here with me.” Gwen glared defiantly at Ianto who fixed her with a stern look. He saw the slime monster’s slippery surface change again and if he didn’t know better he could have sworn that it stuck it’s tongue out at him.
“Right, you want the slime monster, fine.”
Ianto disappeared and came back a minute later with a mop and a bucket. He held them out towards Gwen.
“You love the slime so much, you can clean the slime. I am not getting any of that on my suit.”
The slime monster pulled itself into what seemed to be a pondering expression. It slowly reached out a tendril towards Ianto and placed it wetly on his face. The tendril pulsed and swelled and the slime monster ran a big, wet, slimey tentacle down the length of Ianto’s body, covering him completely in slime.
The tentacle was retracted. Ianto stood still for a moment gasping, slime dripping from his body in great blobby blobs. The mop and bucket fell from his hands.
Ianto looked at the slime monster and then looked at Gwen.
Gwen looked at the slime monster and then looked at Ianto.
The slime monster looked pleased with itself.
Gwen swallowed at the expression on Ianto’s face. That was not his happy face. No, not by a long way was that his happy face. Well, she’d never seen his really happy face, but this was definitely not it.
Gwen backed away from him, indicating the slime monster should follow her.
“We’ll, ah, just leave you to it.”
With that Gwen turned and fled. A shitload of angry weevils were a lot less terrifying than Ianto right now.