The Beaver Incident
Title: The Beaver Incident
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Lester + Ryan
Words: 752
Rating/warnings: PGish
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Primeval.
Spoilers: None. It's a bit silly
AN: Written for lukadreaming 's birthday. She asked (very nicely) for nice snarky Lester, paired with deadpan Ryan. Her prompts were 'it's all gone quiet' and 'give an inch, take a mile'. This bears little resemblance to to either...
“You wanted to see me sir?”
Lester didn’t look up.
“Come in and shut the door.”
Ryan did as instructed and stood at ease in front of Lester’s desk. Lester kept his head down and continued to scrutinise the paperwork in front of him. Ryan resisted both the sigh and the smirk that hovered around his lips. He recognised the tactic; stalling, supposed to put him off guard and keep him there. Problem was he knew this game. And he knew Lester. And he could play them both.
So he stood his ground and waited. Finally Lester spoke.
“It’s all gone rather quiet out there now.”
“Most of the staff have left for the day Sir. It is rather late.”
That got his attention. Lester looked up, eyebrows high and mouth pulled into an unamused pout.
“Are you trying to say that I am keeping you from something Captain?”
“No Sir, not at all Sir.”
Lester leant back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “Good, because if I wasn’t having to go through a lengthy report detailing the many failings that were made by your team today we would all be on our way home by now. I know I have better things to do with my time, and I am quite sure you do too.”
“Yes Sir.”
“So, Captain. Care to explain what happened today?”
Ryan feigned confusion. “I’m sorry Sir, was there something wrong with my report?”
Lester pulled a faux innocent face.
“No, Ryan, not at all. Your explanation for why the Weeping Birch, one of Hyde Park’s most famous icons came to be eaten by prehistoric beavers…”
“Actually Sir, Connor said they were…”
“I don’t care what they were!” Ryan bit back a satisfied grin as Lester’s voice finally rose. Oh, he could definitely play this game. Lester continued steamrolling on as if nothing had happened. “What I care about is that you let them eat a historic landmark! Tell me again. Were they dangerous?”
“No Sir.”
“Were they at any point threatening your life or the lives of the rest of the team?”
“No Sir.”
“So I assume then that you have some other very good reason for letting twenty five of the beasts loose in a Royal Park without doing anything to stop them?”
“Yes Sir. They were really quite cute.”
Ryan really struggled to hold in his laughter as Lester’s face turned through a myriad of colours and various facial expressions, ranging from surprise to fury, fought to keep themselves off his normally stoic face.
Happy that he had amused himself Ryan continued, saving Lester the misery of having to come up with a suitable retort.
“They were harmless to humans Sir, so we didn’t feel justified in using deadly force and we had to wait until the back-up arrived with the nets and capture poles. And in the meantime the tree seemed to keep them occupied and stopped them from escaping further into the Park, so it seemed a sensible place to keep them contained. Sir.”
Lester’s face had settled on a shade of puce and his expression most closely resembled that of an irritated Jack Russell chewing a wasp.
Ryan tried again. “I am sorry about the tree Sir, but there were a number of witnesses and it was felt that opening fire on what were clearly harmless herbivores may have had an adverse reaction from the public. If the Minister is not happy with the explanation and you feel the need to punish someone I will take responsibility for today’s actions.”
He watched as Lester’s face changed to his more familiar tone and the thoughtful pout he secretly adored was back.
“Well, I have taken an unfortunate amount of verbal diatribe from the Minister, which I have to say has left me somewhat aggravated and not without the desire to take out my frustrations.”
“Well Sir, we can’t have that can we?”
“You don’t look particularly worried Captain.”
Ryan finally smiled. “I’m not Sir.”
Lester tried to pull his face into a scowl.
“So much for subordination. Honestly. Give you an inch, you take a mile.”
“Oh, I sincerely hope you’ll give me more than an inch.” Ryan was still grinning.
Lester finally gave up and a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.
“Go and get the car while I’m not so pissed off I won’t let you come.”
Ryan pulled himself sharply to attention and snapped off a smart salute, his grin broad. “Yes Sir!”
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Lester + Ryan
Words: 752
Rating/warnings: PGish
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Primeval.
Spoilers: None. It's a bit silly
AN: Written for lukadreaming 's birthday. She asked (very nicely) for nice snarky Lester, paired with deadpan Ryan. Her prompts were 'it's all gone quiet' and 'give an inch, take a mile'. This bears little resemblance to to either...
“You wanted to see me sir?”
Lester didn’t look up.
“Come in and shut the door.”
Ryan did as instructed and stood at ease in front of Lester’s desk. Lester kept his head down and continued to scrutinise the paperwork in front of him. Ryan resisted both the sigh and the smirk that hovered around his lips. He recognised the tactic; stalling, supposed to put him off guard and keep him there. Problem was he knew this game. And he knew Lester. And he could play them both.
So he stood his ground and waited. Finally Lester spoke.
“It’s all gone rather quiet out there now.”
“Most of the staff have left for the day Sir. It is rather late.”
That got his attention. Lester looked up, eyebrows high and mouth pulled into an unamused pout.
“Are you trying to say that I am keeping you from something Captain?”
“No Sir, not at all Sir.”
Lester leant back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “Good, because if I wasn’t having to go through a lengthy report detailing the many failings that were made by your team today we would all be on our way home by now. I know I have better things to do with my time, and I am quite sure you do too.”
“Yes Sir.”
“So, Captain. Care to explain what happened today?”
Ryan feigned confusion. “I’m sorry Sir, was there something wrong with my report?”
Lester pulled a faux innocent face.
“No, Ryan, not at all. Your explanation for why the Weeping Birch, one of Hyde Park’s most famous icons came to be eaten by prehistoric beavers…”
“Actually Sir, Connor said they were…”
“I don’t care what they were!” Ryan bit back a satisfied grin as Lester’s voice finally rose. Oh, he could definitely play this game. Lester continued steamrolling on as if nothing had happened. “What I care about is that you let them eat a historic landmark! Tell me again. Were they dangerous?”
“No Sir.”
“Were they at any point threatening your life or the lives of the rest of the team?”
“No Sir.”
“So I assume then that you have some other very good reason for letting twenty five of the beasts loose in a Royal Park without doing anything to stop them?”
“Yes Sir. They were really quite cute.”
Ryan really struggled to hold in his laughter as Lester’s face turned through a myriad of colours and various facial expressions, ranging from surprise to fury, fought to keep themselves off his normally stoic face.
Happy that he had amused himself Ryan continued, saving Lester the misery of having to come up with a suitable retort.
“They were harmless to humans Sir, so we didn’t feel justified in using deadly force and we had to wait until the back-up arrived with the nets and capture poles. And in the meantime the tree seemed to keep them occupied and stopped them from escaping further into the Park, so it seemed a sensible place to keep them contained. Sir.”
Lester’s face had settled on a shade of puce and his expression most closely resembled that of an irritated Jack Russell chewing a wasp.
Ryan tried again. “I am sorry about the tree Sir, but there were a number of witnesses and it was felt that opening fire on what were clearly harmless herbivores may have had an adverse reaction from the public. If the Minister is not happy with the explanation and you feel the need to punish someone I will take responsibility for today’s actions.”
He watched as Lester’s face changed to his more familiar tone and the thoughtful pout he secretly adored was back.
“Well, I have taken an unfortunate amount of verbal diatribe from the Minister, which I have to say has left me somewhat aggravated and not without the desire to take out my frustrations.”
“Well Sir, we can’t have that can we?”
“You don’t look particularly worried Captain.”
Ryan finally smiled. “I’m not Sir.”
Lester tried to pull his face into a scowl.
“So much for subordination. Honestly. Give you an inch, you take a mile.”
“Oh, I sincerely hope you’ll give me more than an inch.” Ryan was still grinning.
Lester finally gave up and a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.
“Go and get the car while I’m not so pissed off I won’t let you come.”
Ryan pulled himself sharply to attention and snapped off a smart salute, his grin broad. “Yes Sir!”