Actual quotes from a physics teacher
In my high school, there was a physics teacher who had a funny way of talking. Granted, English was his second language, but still, he had some very golden quotes. One of my classmates could even imitate him, accent and all
Let me give an example. I am here and I'm coming coming coming and
then I decelerate.
Does the motion of my left ball affect the time it takes for my right
ball to drop?
[comment on a quiz] Usage of matrix for these calculations is like
shouting (sic) birds with a canon (sic).
The ball falls with acceleration Jew! I mean g.
Usually boy, maybe girl, they have bar on their backyard. They hang themselves.
So, astronaut have chair that oscillate up and down, just like the one
in my office
In Saint Petersburg, there is church of antireligion. It's communist.
They have giant pendulum, which prove that earth revolved.
Absolutely trivial! (he had a tendency to say "This is trivial" on questions everybody else had trouble on)
You can lose your weight like a piece of cake!
You have to hang yourself to measure your own period.
Why do we use lubrication to prevent friction?
You are a destructive force in this area.
I will rearrange algebra.
I'm sorry, I don't have a stick to hit you with. It's illegal.
Imagine those of you who are handy and use a screw driver to screw...
(regarding screwdriver rule)
We are not in a stand-up comedy show.
Let me give an example. I am here and I'm coming coming coming and
then I decelerate.
Does the motion of my left ball affect the time it takes for my right
ball to drop?
[comment on a quiz] Usage of matrix for these calculations is like
shouting (sic) birds with a canon (sic).
The ball falls with acceleration Jew! I mean g.
Usually boy, maybe girl, they have bar on their backyard. They hang themselves.
So, astronaut have chair that oscillate up and down, just like the one
in my office
In Saint Petersburg, there is church of antireligion. It's communist.
They have giant pendulum, which prove that earth revolved.
Absolutely trivial! (he had a tendency to say "This is trivial" on questions everybody else had trouble on)
You can lose your weight like a piece of cake!
You have to hang yourself to measure your own period.
Why do we use lubrication to prevent friction?
You are a destructive force in this area.
I will rearrange algebra.
I'm sorry, I don't have a stick to hit you with. It's illegal.
Imagine those of you who are handy and use a screw driver to screw...
(regarding screwdriver rule)
We are not in a stand-up comedy show.