Not Thinkin' Straight
Summary; 'i am not gay. i am not gay.' suggestive. jessus.
Words; 4046
Warning: Some part of the content may offend ya, I guess. It’s just a fun read, you know? And a little M-rated. That’s right. And language, as always.
Oh shit. That is what Tiffany would say everytime she sees an attractive girl. And the next thing she’ll be saying is; No. No. No. At last, she’ll try to convince herself that she’s not gay. I am not gay. I am not gay. I am straighttttt as a pole.
Truth to be told, this would have never happened if it weren’t for Yuri. She was the one who kissed Tiffany out of impulse, out of ‘trying out new things’, and Tiffany happened to like it more than she was supposed to. Then Yuri announced that she didn’t feel anything or had any sexual desires for the same gender. Whereas Tiffany… a whole new world just opened for her. Basically, she blamed Yuri for that. She tried it with Yoona too and loved it even more.
She began to see girls in a different way, a lot more desirable than guys. Soon, she wasn’t even thinking ‘straight’ anymore.
“Yuri, this is your fault.” Tiffany vent to Yuri who was flipping through the tabloid magazine on her bed. The cover was a picture of Zac Efron half-naked. Two weeks ago, she would have drooled herself over it but now, she couldn’t be bothered. She rather look at Megan Fox’s.
“What?”
“You made me gay.”
“I did not.” Yuri said incredulously.
“Yes, you freaking did. You kissed me!” Tiffany yelled in exasperation.
“So? The rest was your own doing. And besides, being gay isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s actually awesome. I’ve always wanted a gay friend.”
Tiffany took a nearby pillow and hit Yuri with it hard.
“HEY!” Yuri growled.
She then lied her head on Yuri’s back and clasped her hand over her stomach. She sighed as she stared at the ceiling. “I did it with Yoona.”
“Did what it?” Yuri was suddenly interested, tossing the magazine aside. She tried to look over her shoulder and then thought better of it than to strain her neck. “She fucked you?!” She gasped.
“No, you idiot. Tried the whole gay thing with her since she’s experience and all.”
“You’re the bigger idiot here.” Yuri cackled. “Yoona’s in relationship.”
“That’s why I stopped it. What am I going to do?” Tiffany sighed again. “Your back’s kind of comfy.. and your butt too.”
“Stop perving on me.” Yuri joked.
**
To tell her parents about this situation would be a death sentence, she realized. First of all, they were a very religious bunch so any talk of the homosexuality would send them to cardiac arrest. Second of all, they would switch the channel whenever the Ellen show comes on. There was no hope in getting them to understand.
One day, she came up with something, thinking it would be the best solution to her ‘problem’. It was about getting rid of her gay inhibitions by going to another church located at the other side of the port. They had a group opening for ex-gays.
On the first day, she was greeted weirdly by a counselor who had a couple of ear piercings and wore black all over.
“Welcome! Welcome! Here, we will wash all your sinful doings and heal you with the help of like-minded people. My name is Jungmin.” He flashed her a toothy grin and brought her to the seated group. The chairs were arranged in a circle and most of them were occupied.
Automatically, strangers around looked at Tiffany, making her feel uncomfortable. Maybe this is a bad idea. Yeap. This is a bad idea.
“Hi, my name’s Tiffany.” Tiffany gave an awkward wave, feeling smaller by the second. Her cheeks reddened.
Everyone looked much older than her. Most of them were men and older women. And none of them smiled except for one person. Tiffany’s eyes landed on a particular person. She looked almost the same age as her, had dirty blonde hair and was chewing a gum. A lopsided smirk was pasted on her pretty face. Tiffany felt bare under the girl’s stare.
A very… very bad idea.
**
A devil in disguise. A sexy devil disguise, that was. Like a sexy Victoria Secret angel except she was no angel. Tiffany concluded after the first day. She could even associate the name ‘Jessica’ to a Victoria Secret model; Jessica Hart. Maybe she should get rid all these VS catalogs.
The whole time when Jungmin was talking about the sins of being a homosexual, Tiffany could feel Jessica’s stare on her skin, poking her endlessly. At the same time, she felt as if Jessica was mentally undressing her. When she shot her a glare, the girl remained unfazed by it and simply smirked just like she did before.
Their gazes locked on each other. Jessica didn’t blink therefore Tiffany did the same. Until the air was stinging her eyes, Tiffany lost and Jessica giggled a little and shook her head.
Tiffany rolled her eyes and refused to meet her gaze after that.
“GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU AND BURN ALL YOUR SINS IN HELL!” Jungmin boomed like a maniac. He did really look like one with his arms flailing around in the air. “LOVE THE SINNERS, HATE THE SIN.”
At the end of the day, she learned nothing but decided to come the next week anyways. Reluctantly, she knew damn well why.
**
That night, Tiffany prayed with her knees on the floor and closed eyes. “Dear God, I’m sorry for not really talking to you. Maybe it’s because I don’t really believe ya but Jungmin been rambling about you so I thought, what the hell? Please help me get through this phase. Make me stop thinking about Victoria Secret models, Yoona’s rosy lips, Yuri’s sexy butt and all of that shit. Oh God, I’m sorry for using profanity. So.. help me, will ya?”
Nothing but the sound of cats mating outside the window answered Tiffany. She opened her eyes and felt incredibly stupid. “At least, send me a sign that you’ll help me??” She whined and bent down, her forehead meeting the ground.
Tiffany wasn’t as religious as her parents. Besides, they didn’t really push her into believing things. She appreciated them for that. Still, it mortified her if her parents knew.
Then on her feet, she took the posters of Miranda Kerr off the wall and carefully folded them. She whispered, “I’m so sorry, Miranda. You’ll have to go.”
**
2nd session
“I want all of you to list out all of the sinful things you’ve done in relation to homosexuality. And block them out. Make a speech in your head or a mantra, telling yourself this is very wrong.” Jungmin said with his hands moving like a T-rex.
With her arms folded, Tiffany tried her best in focusing on what Jungmin had to say. In the corner of her eyes, she could just feel Jessica looking at her again. It was getting frustrating. Not solely because Jessica’s stare but because of her skirt which was lifting up a bit, revealing what colour her panties were; red.
The fact that she knew what colour it was made it harder to not look at Jessica. All she could think about was that freaking colour instead of Jungmin’s stupid speeches about gays in hell.
She heard Jessica yawned. The girl was stretching her limbs in the air and her top was pulled up a little, revealing her abdomen. Fuck. The belly button made Tiffany swallow hard. Her determination was wearing off.
Jessica smiled and crossed her arms lazily, slumping down in her chair. She pulled the neck of her shirt and said, “Jungmin, it’s kind of hot here.”
Jungmin stopped talking and looked hard at her. “Sit next to Tiffany since the fan is near.” Quickly, Jessica stood up and sat on the empty seat next to Tiffany. She gave a playful smile and gathered her hair with one hand and the other fanning her neck.
Tiffany was just lost for words, thinking why would Jessica be doing this instead of improving herself? Maybe she was the one who was at fault. Maybe Jessica was just being Jessica. And she herself was the real problem. Realizing this, she averted her gaze back to Jungmin.
Suddenly, Jungmin clapped his hands together. “This is end of our session. Next two weeks, we will have two inspirational guests. I’ll be giving you a little project to handle. Try out new things and let go of those old sinful habits. And pair up with someone here as like-mined people would truly help you into the straight path. Read the bible everyday!”
And with that, the session ended. Tiffany took her bag and walked out of the church.
“Hey, wait!” Light fast footsteps neared her. Tiffany turned around and saw it was Jessica. “Do you want do this ‘thing’ together?” Jessica held her hand in the air, blocking the sunlight. Her right eye squinted a little and Tiffany found it so impossibly adorable and sexy. What?
“Do what?” Tiffany snapped out of Jessica’s trance.
“Try out new things together. Throw away our sinful habits.” Jessica grinned. Tiffany just shrugged, unsure about the girl’s intentions. “Give me your number.”
“W-what?”
“Your number.”
Without thinking, Tiffany took her phone out and Jessica snatched it quickly from her. The girl was punching in some numbers and pressed call before ending it. “I saved my number in your phone and I called my own phone so I got your number. See ya around.” She winked and turned on her heel.
**
“Dear God, wait, am I supposed to say dear? You’re not helping me at all. I feel more gay than yesterday. I think one of your devils in an angel suit came down to goddamn earth. Are you fooling with me? Don’t say shit like “I’m testing you.” while stroking your beard.. Do you have a beard?”
Afterwards, Tiffany took out the bible she had never touch before from the drawer. She read it and then fell asleep after five minutes.
**
Some day
Yuri dragged Tiffany to a jog at the pier. Tiffany panted as she jogged whereas Yuri still moved like a breeze.
“I hate you so much, Yuri.” Tiffany whined and wanted to collapse. Albeit the sight of Yuri’s line curving downwards on her back made it a little better.
“Distract yourself and keep jogging. How’s the useless sessions you’ve been going to?” Yuri slowed her pace until Tiffany reached her.
“They’re not useless.” Tiffany said in a defensive tone.
“Oh, really? Explain what you did few minutes ago, ogling some woman stretching.”
“I’m getting there, okay?”
They stopped and sat at the bench near the railing. The weather was nice and the waves were continuously lapping against the wharves. Sadly, Tiffany couldn’t appreciate them as she was breathing hard while Yuri looked relaxed, sitting with her elbows on top of the seat. “I don’t even know why you go to those things. I still love you even if you’re gay, you know? You’re my best friend.”
“It’s your fault.” Tiffany said after taking a moment. “My parents would go crazy if they know what’s been going on.”
Yuri rolled her eyes at her. “Who the hell cares what they think? They’re miles away. And plus, at least now, you have something to write about with these new experiences.”
Tiffany opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a foreign voice. “Tiffany?” She glanced up and realized it was Jessica. Yuri’s eyebrow perked up, eyes fleeting back and forth at the both of them.
“Hi, Jessica.” Tiffany greeted somewhat nervously.
“I was about to call you but you’re here now.” Jessica smiled warmly. It was an unusual sight.
“I’ll take my leave now.” Yuri announced with a bright smile. Tiffany wanted to pull her back in but it was too late. The girl jogged away after giving a wave and mouthed ‘go get it girl’.
Jessica sat next to her and looked at where Yuri jogged. “I can see why you’ve joined the group. With a girl like that around you all the time, who could not be gay?”
“Yu-Yuri?” Tiffany’s eyes widened in disbelief. She wanted to laugh. “Oh no, I’m not interested in her. Sure, we’ve kissed. We are just friends. Nothing more.”
“So it started with a kiss, huh?” Jessica looked at Tiffany with the same smirk as before. Tiffany didn’t really knew what Jessica meant by that. “I just have an idea on what new things we should try out. Have you ever had sex?”
Tiffany’s mouth gaped at the straightforwardness. “Like uh-h with people?” Her mind didn’t really register on what she said.
Jessica let out of an airy laugh. “Yes, with people.” She stood up and grabbed Tiffany’s hand. “With a girl?”
“N-no.” Tiffany shook her head like a little girl, confused at where this was going.
“Good.” Jessica pulled Tiffany to her feet and dragged the girl until they reached a building. Tiffany couldn’t restrain herself due to Jessica’s surprising strength.
“Where are we going? What are you doing?” Tiffany started to feel scared. Thinking about the possibilities getting killed by a blonde.
**
What it seemed to be Jessica’s apartment, Tiffany scanned the spacey area. “You’re not going to kill me, right?”
Jessica arched a brow at her. “Maybe.” She walked up to Tiffany and grazed her finger along the girl’s collarbone. “Jungmin said we should try out new things.”
“Right.” For some unknown reason, Tiffany started to feel uneasy.
“So…..” Jessica’s mouth went closer to Tiffany’s ear. “We should have sex. Do you want to?” She met her gaze, a hint of concern in her eyes.
That escalated quickly. Despite it, Tiffany was hypnotized. It was too late to back out. Lust had taken over her. The devil had emerged.
**
“How does it feel?” Jessica asked with the little infamous smirk on her face.
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Then Tiffany began to say them repeatedly as Jessica continued to eat her out. “Oh fuck. Why does it feel sooo good? Oh God. Oh God.” She lolled her head, arching her back a little off the bed, and giving more into Jessica’s mouth.
“Does it?” Jessica stopped and met Tiffany’s gaze. The girl groaned and jerked forward, wanting more of Jessica’s tongue.
“Don’t stop.” Tiffany bit the inside of her cheek. I’m so sorry, God.
“From now on…” Jessica trailed her kisses up Tiffany’s abdomen. “I am your God.” She whispered in between kisses. “I am your Jesus.” She unhooked the bra, revealing Tiffany’s succulent breasts. Tiffany held an ardent gaze on Jessica, momentarily mesmerized at how fucking attractive the girl was. How desirable and sexy she was with her hair in her face.
Yes, Jessus. Yes. A low moan slipped from Tiffany’s lips as Jessica ran a tongue around her breast and slid two fingers into her heated entrance. Holy Jessus. “God.. Jess..” Tiffany breathed.
“Tell me. How does it feel?”
“Heaven. It feels like fucking heaven.” Tiffany groaned when Jessica stopped thrusting her fingers into her. Jessica let out a soft laugh and pulled her fingers out, much to Tiffany’s dismay.
“Next time, angel. I’ve got to go now. Work.” Jessica kissed Tiffany lightly and got off the bed and buttoned her blouse. “Lock your way out.” And then she left.
What the hell?
**
“You smell like sex.” Yuri sniffed Tiffany and then narrowed her eyes. “It’s Jessica, isn’t it? That’s her name right.”
“I did not have sex.” Tiffany said a little too loudly. “Excuse me roomie but I have to go pray to Jessus. I mean Jesus.” She slapped her own forehead.
Back in her room, she did the usual routine; went down on her knees and propped her elbows on the bed. She seriously did not know who to pray to.
God or GodJess? Jessus?
“First of all, dear God, I am so sorry for what I have done today. Please forgive me. Secondly, to GodJess or Jessus, fuck you, bitch!"
**
3rd session
Tiffany avoided Jessica like a plague. Every time the girl tried to get her attention, Tiffany would shoot her a glare and huff. To be left naked in someone else’s bed was exactly like being naked in public, she begrudgingly thought.
“Tiffany, have you done anything new? Any progress? Tell us what you did this week.” Jungmin looked at her expectantly. Tiffany fidgeted with her fingers.
Sure, she did a lot of thinking. Thinking about stupid Jessus, that was. Thinking how she wanted to be touched again. Thinking herself into an orgasm. Wanting Jessica to fuck her again.
“Umm.. I took all of my Miranda posters and put it away.” Tiffany stated flatly, knowing Jessica was staring at her again.
“That’s a start.” Jungmin nodded.
When the session ended, Tiffany left as fast as she could before Jessica had the chance to catch up to her. Jessica did try to call her a few times.
**
Standing infront of the building where Jessica lived, Tiffany contemplated in whether to confront her but decided not to. Instead, she went to a bar nearby.
At the bar, Tiffany saw it was Jessica behind the counter. She turned to leave but was stopped when Jessica called out to her. “Tiffany?” The sound of Jessica’s voice pulled Tiffany back in and made her sit on one of the stools.
“You’re a bartender?” Tiffany stared at Jessica who had her hair pulled into a ponytail. The girl looked even more beautiful. And Tiffany wasn’t even drunk yet.
“I co-own this place.” Jessica announced proudly. “Why didn’t you pick up my phone calls?”
“Umm. I didn’t realize. Busy.” Tiffany lied.
A frown look fell upon Jessica’s face. “Four rings meaning someone missed your call. And two rings means they saw your name and hit ignore.”
Tiffany suddenly felt irritated. It was as if Jessica didn’t realize that she did anything wrong. “Well, you left me in your bed, naked.”
“I told you. I had work.”
“This is ridiculous.” Tiffany got off the stool and grabbed her purse.
“Wait-t!” Jessica pleaded and went around the counter. “Sooyoung, can you handle for tonight?” The said name girl just nodded and took over the station.
Then Jessica took Tiffany’s hand and went out of the place. “Hey! What are you doing? Are you going to kill me this time?” Tiffany asked in a serious manner.
“Have you ever been to the beach?”
“Are you serious? Who hasn’t? And what’s with all these ‘Have you ever’s questions?”
“Trying out something new.”
**
It was night by the time they reached the beach. Jessica sat down on the sand and Tiffany followed suit. She folded her legs and rested her chin on her knees.
“What are we doing here? Why? What’s with you? What the hell is going on?” Tiffany just let it out all there. Jessica captured her lips, silencing her.
“There.” Jessica said against her lips and smiled a little. She kissed her again, tasting the gloss off her.
Tiffany pulled away from Jessica at arm’s length. “You’re ruining my determination. This is not what Jungmin wanted us to do. Trying out new things meant getting away from all of this wrong doings.”
“Is it wrong? Is it? Who is he to say what is wrong and right? He’s not fucking God.” Jessica rolled her eyes. “If there is even God.”
“Then why are you in the group? To pick up girls like me?” A sudden realization dawned upon Tiffany. She was a fool to think Jessica had never done something like this before.
The fast change in Jessica’s expression amused Tiffany. Previously, she looked offended because of Jungmin. And now, she was smirking. “Let’s just say, I rescued them. I helped them. And I’m helping you.”
“I don’t need to be rescued by you. I am not going to be one of your girls to fuck with and be called ‘saved’.” Tiffany said, disgusted.
“I’m just trying out new things.” Jessica replied in a small voice, looking straight-ahead at the sea. “Like.. being with a girl who is the same age as me.” She smiled weakly. “Why did you join? You know it's no use. Being gay is not a choice."
"Hmmm." Tiffany let the sand slipped through her fingers. "I just.. I don't know. I just did." The question why will still remain unanswered.
“Anyways, you're born gay for me." Jessica laughed. Tiffany rolled her eyes. "I’m assuming you’re in college. What are you majoring in?”
“English major… New things? Same age?” Tiffany was more interested in the other topic.
“English major?” Jessica laughed mockingly. “What do you even do with an English major?”
“Hey, a lot of things. Ok?” Tiffany scoffed, clearly offended by the person next to her.
“Take off your clothes.” Jessica said in a flat tone.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tiffany was so baffled by Jessica’s bluntness and demands. The girl just say things without the need to revise them first. And there was no way she was going to let Jessica strip her naked again and literally.
“No. Let’s go skinny dipping. Have you ever done it?” The blonde girl stood up and brushed the sand off.
Then she lifted her shirt off, pulled down her shorts, and took off her undergarments. Tiffany could only stare in astonishment. The sight of Jessica’s body was just simply glorious. Much better than a Victoria Secret model’s. Even under the moon’s illumination, she was breathtaking and tragically hot.
Oh well, I’m really gay.
“It’s freaking cold.” The dark sea looked scary to Tiffany. "And menacing."
“Come on.” Jessica held out her hand to Tiffany. And so they did go skinny dipping together in the cold sea. After two freezing minutes, they came out of the water, shaking and laughing as if they were drunk.
They fell onto their clothes, still laughing. Some sand did stick to their skins but they didn’t care. Jessica hovered over Tiffany. Water was dripping from Jessica’s hair and Tiffany tucked a strand of damp hair behind the girl’s ear.
“I’ve never done it on the beach.” Jessica grinned in a somewhat twisted kind. “We could get infection just by doing it here.” She breathed onto Tiffany’s neck and then nibbled on the pulse point gently. Tiffany screwed her eyes shut. “Do you want to?”
“Yes.” A slight whimper escaped from Tiffany’s lips.
**
4th session / Last
The two decided on the fourth session that it would be their last. Tiffany admitted it was useless, after all. But she was glad to have met Jessica. At least, she was thankful for all the crappy sessions she attended.
“Hello everyone, my name is Jo Kwon. I’m a happily married to a woman for two months now.” He smiled, showing his teeth. It looked kind of creepy, Tiffany thought.
“Hello, my name is Taeyeon. I have not slept with a woman for three months now.” Another guest said.
Jessica snickered and then whispered into Tiffany’s ear. “Sooner or later, Taeyeon’s going to explode. You’ll see.”
“What made you say that?”
“Oh. I just know.” Jessica grinned a little.
“Let this be an example for all of you. To get yourself into the straight path.” Jungmin stated. Whatever he said sounded stupid in Tiffany’s ears.
**
In Jessica’s apartment, Tiffany lied on the bed and waited.
Jessica returned to the bedroom, bringing an ice-cream tub. “Have you ever had icecream eaten off you?”
“Nope.” Tiffany answered, grinning. Jessica opened the lid, took a dip at the icecream and then licked it off her finger. Tiffany’s jaw unhinged.
The girl climbed on the bed and straddled on Tiffany’s waist. “I hate raspberry. But they say if you hide the things you dislike with something you like. Eventually, you’re going to love it. Like putting peas or vegetables in meat balls or whatever. And I have a feeling that I’m going to love raspberry.” A smirk was spread across Jessica’s lips.
**
“I still want to try out new things. Like.. have a relationship with you. Go on dates with you. Bring you to places we’ve never been to. Have sex in inappropriate places with you.” Jessica confessed and turned on her side to look at Tiffany.
“I thought you’ve done those with…” Tiffany couldn’t finish her sentence because the thought of it made her feel bitter. Only God knows how many Jessica had picked up.
“I’ve never dated them. There were only two of them. Never had sex with them on the beach. Or brought them to my place.”
“Gee, thanks. I feel better.” Tiffany said sarcastically. But it did make her feel like she won something.
Jessica pulled her into a long slow kiss. “How about now?” Tiffany just hummed against her lips in approval. “And maybe fall in love with you. Jungmin did say ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’.”
a.n; i need to write on more serious things. lol
Words; 4046
Warning: Some part of the content may offend ya, I guess. It’s just a fun read, you know? And a little M-rated. That’s right. And language, as always.
Oh shit. That is what Tiffany would say everytime she sees an attractive girl. And the next thing she’ll be saying is; No. No. No. At last, she’ll try to convince herself that she’s not gay. I am not gay. I am not gay. I am straighttttt as a pole.
Truth to be told, this would have never happened if it weren’t for Yuri. She was the one who kissed Tiffany out of impulse, out of ‘trying out new things’, and Tiffany happened to like it more than she was supposed to. Then Yuri announced that she didn’t feel anything or had any sexual desires for the same gender. Whereas Tiffany… a whole new world just opened for her. Basically, she blamed Yuri for that. She tried it with Yoona too and loved it even more.
She began to see girls in a different way, a lot more desirable than guys. Soon, she wasn’t even thinking ‘straight’ anymore.
“Yuri, this is your fault.” Tiffany vent to Yuri who was flipping through the tabloid magazine on her bed. The cover was a picture of Zac Efron half-naked. Two weeks ago, she would have drooled herself over it but now, she couldn’t be bothered. She rather look at Megan Fox’s.
“What?”
“You made me gay.”
“I did not.” Yuri said incredulously.
“Yes, you freaking did. You kissed me!” Tiffany yelled in exasperation.
“So? The rest was your own doing. And besides, being gay isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s actually awesome. I’ve always wanted a gay friend.”
Tiffany took a nearby pillow and hit Yuri with it hard.
“HEY!” Yuri growled.
She then lied her head on Yuri’s back and clasped her hand over her stomach. She sighed as she stared at the ceiling. “I did it with Yoona.”
“Did what it?” Yuri was suddenly interested, tossing the magazine aside. She tried to look over her shoulder and then thought better of it than to strain her neck. “She fucked you?!” She gasped.
“No, you idiot. Tried the whole gay thing with her since she’s experience and all.”
“You’re the bigger idiot here.” Yuri cackled. “Yoona’s in relationship.”
“That’s why I stopped it. What am I going to do?” Tiffany sighed again. “Your back’s kind of comfy.. and your butt too.”
“Stop perving on me.” Yuri joked.
**
To tell her parents about this situation would be a death sentence, she realized. First of all, they were a very religious bunch so any talk of the homosexuality would send them to cardiac arrest. Second of all, they would switch the channel whenever the Ellen show comes on. There was no hope in getting them to understand.
One day, she came up with something, thinking it would be the best solution to her ‘problem’. It was about getting rid of her gay inhibitions by going to another church located at the other side of the port. They had a group opening for ex-gays.
On the first day, she was greeted weirdly by a counselor who had a couple of ear piercings and wore black all over.
“Welcome! Welcome! Here, we will wash all your sinful doings and heal you with the help of like-minded people. My name is Jungmin.” He flashed her a toothy grin and brought her to the seated group. The chairs were arranged in a circle and most of them were occupied.
Automatically, strangers around looked at Tiffany, making her feel uncomfortable. Maybe this is a bad idea. Yeap. This is a bad idea.
“Hi, my name’s Tiffany.” Tiffany gave an awkward wave, feeling smaller by the second. Her cheeks reddened.
Everyone looked much older than her. Most of them were men and older women. And none of them smiled except for one person. Tiffany’s eyes landed on a particular person. She looked almost the same age as her, had dirty blonde hair and was chewing a gum. A lopsided smirk was pasted on her pretty face. Tiffany felt bare under the girl’s stare.
A very… very bad idea.
**
A devil in disguise. A sexy devil disguise, that was. Like a sexy Victoria Secret angel except she was no angel. Tiffany concluded after the first day. She could even associate the name ‘Jessica’ to a Victoria Secret model; Jessica Hart. Maybe she should get rid all these VS catalogs.
The whole time when Jungmin was talking about the sins of being a homosexual, Tiffany could feel Jessica’s stare on her skin, poking her endlessly. At the same time, she felt as if Jessica was mentally undressing her. When she shot her a glare, the girl remained unfazed by it and simply smirked just like she did before.
Their gazes locked on each other. Jessica didn’t blink therefore Tiffany did the same. Until the air was stinging her eyes, Tiffany lost and Jessica giggled a little and shook her head.
Tiffany rolled her eyes and refused to meet her gaze after that.
“GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU AND BURN ALL YOUR SINS IN HELL!” Jungmin boomed like a maniac. He did really look like one with his arms flailing around in the air. “LOVE THE SINNERS, HATE THE SIN.”
At the end of the day, she learned nothing but decided to come the next week anyways. Reluctantly, she knew damn well why.
**
That night, Tiffany prayed with her knees on the floor and closed eyes. “Dear God, I’m sorry for not really talking to you. Maybe it’s because I don’t really believe ya but Jungmin been rambling about you so I thought, what the hell? Please help me get through this phase. Make me stop thinking about Victoria Secret models, Yoona’s rosy lips, Yuri’s sexy butt and all of that shit. Oh God, I’m sorry for using profanity. So.. help me, will ya?”
Nothing but the sound of cats mating outside the window answered Tiffany. She opened her eyes and felt incredibly stupid. “At least, send me a sign that you’ll help me??” She whined and bent down, her forehead meeting the ground.
Tiffany wasn’t as religious as her parents. Besides, they didn’t really push her into believing things. She appreciated them for that. Still, it mortified her if her parents knew.
Then on her feet, she took the posters of Miranda Kerr off the wall and carefully folded them. She whispered, “I’m so sorry, Miranda. You’ll have to go.”
**
2nd session
“I want all of you to list out all of the sinful things you’ve done in relation to homosexuality. And block them out. Make a speech in your head or a mantra, telling yourself this is very wrong.” Jungmin said with his hands moving like a T-rex.
With her arms folded, Tiffany tried her best in focusing on what Jungmin had to say. In the corner of her eyes, she could just feel Jessica looking at her again. It was getting frustrating. Not solely because Jessica’s stare but because of her skirt which was lifting up a bit, revealing what colour her panties were; red.
The fact that she knew what colour it was made it harder to not look at Jessica. All she could think about was that freaking colour instead of Jungmin’s stupid speeches about gays in hell.
She heard Jessica yawned. The girl was stretching her limbs in the air and her top was pulled up a little, revealing her abdomen. Fuck. The belly button made Tiffany swallow hard. Her determination was wearing off.
Jessica smiled and crossed her arms lazily, slumping down in her chair. She pulled the neck of her shirt and said, “Jungmin, it’s kind of hot here.”
Jungmin stopped talking and looked hard at her. “Sit next to Tiffany since the fan is near.” Quickly, Jessica stood up and sat on the empty seat next to Tiffany. She gave a playful smile and gathered her hair with one hand and the other fanning her neck.
Tiffany was just lost for words, thinking why would Jessica be doing this instead of improving herself? Maybe she was the one who was at fault. Maybe Jessica was just being Jessica. And she herself was the real problem. Realizing this, she averted her gaze back to Jungmin.
Suddenly, Jungmin clapped his hands together. “This is end of our session. Next two weeks, we will have two inspirational guests. I’ll be giving you a little project to handle. Try out new things and let go of those old sinful habits. And pair up with someone here as like-mined people would truly help you into the straight path. Read the bible everyday!”
And with that, the session ended. Tiffany took her bag and walked out of the church.
“Hey, wait!” Light fast footsteps neared her. Tiffany turned around and saw it was Jessica. “Do you want do this ‘thing’ together?” Jessica held her hand in the air, blocking the sunlight. Her right eye squinted a little and Tiffany found it so impossibly adorable and sexy. What?
“Do what?” Tiffany snapped out of Jessica’s trance.
“Try out new things together. Throw away our sinful habits.” Jessica grinned. Tiffany just shrugged, unsure about the girl’s intentions. “Give me your number.”
“W-what?”
“Your number.”
Without thinking, Tiffany took her phone out and Jessica snatched it quickly from her. The girl was punching in some numbers and pressed call before ending it. “I saved my number in your phone and I called my own phone so I got your number. See ya around.” She winked and turned on her heel.
**
“Dear God, wait, am I supposed to say dear? You’re not helping me at all. I feel more gay than yesterday. I think one of your devils in an angel suit came down to goddamn earth. Are you fooling with me? Don’t say shit like “I’m testing you.” while stroking your beard.. Do you have a beard?”
Afterwards, Tiffany took out the bible she had never touch before from the drawer. She read it and then fell asleep after five minutes.
**
Some day
Yuri dragged Tiffany to a jog at the pier. Tiffany panted as she jogged whereas Yuri still moved like a breeze.
“I hate you so much, Yuri.” Tiffany whined and wanted to collapse. Albeit the sight of Yuri’s line curving downwards on her back made it a little better.
“Distract yourself and keep jogging. How’s the useless sessions you’ve been going to?” Yuri slowed her pace until Tiffany reached her.
“They’re not useless.” Tiffany said in a defensive tone.
“Oh, really? Explain what you did few minutes ago, ogling some woman stretching.”
“I’m getting there, okay?”
They stopped and sat at the bench near the railing. The weather was nice and the waves were continuously lapping against the wharves. Sadly, Tiffany couldn’t appreciate them as she was breathing hard while Yuri looked relaxed, sitting with her elbows on top of the seat. “I don’t even know why you go to those things. I still love you even if you’re gay, you know? You’re my best friend.”
“It’s your fault.” Tiffany said after taking a moment. “My parents would go crazy if they know what’s been going on.”
Yuri rolled her eyes at her. “Who the hell cares what they think? They’re miles away. And plus, at least now, you have something to write about with these new experiences.”
Tiffany opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a foreign voice. “Tiffany?” She glanced up and realized it was Jessica. Yuri’s eyebrow perked up, eyes fleeting back and forth at the both of them.
“Hi, Jessica.” Tiffany greeted somewhat nervously.
“I was about to call you but you’re here now.” Jessica smiled warmly. It was an unusual sight.
“I’ll take my leave now.” Yuri announced with a bright smile. Tiffany wanted to pull her back in but it was too late. The girl jogged away after giving a wave and mouthed ‘go get it girl’.
Jessica sat next to her and looked at where Yuri jogged. “I can see why you’ve joined the group. With a girl like that around you all the time, who could not be gay?”
“Yu-Yuri?” Tiffany’s eyes widened in disbelief. She wanted to laugh. “Oh no, I’m not interested in her. Sure, we’ve kissed. We are just friends. Nothing more.”
“So it started with a kiss, huh?” Jessica looked at Tiffany with the same smirk as before. Tiffany didn’t really knew what Jessica meant by that. “I just have an idea on what new things we should try out. Have you ever had sex?”
Tiffany’s mouth gaped at the straightforwardness. “Like uh-h with people?” Her mind didn’t really register on what she said.
Jessica let out of an airy laugh. “Yes, with people.” She stood up and grabbed Tiffany’s hand. “With a girl?”
“N-no.” Tiffany shook her head like a little girl, confused at where this was going.
“Good.” Jessica pulled Tiffany to her feet and dragged the girl until they reached a building. Tiffany couldn’t restrain herself due to Jessica’s surprising strength.
“Where are we going? What are you doing?” Tiffany started to feel scared. Thinking about the possibilities getting killed by a blonde.
**
What it seemed to be Jessica’s apartment, Tiffany scanned the spacey area. “You’re not going to kill me, right?”
Jessica arched a brow at her. “Maybe.” She walked up to Tiffany and grazed her finger along the girl’s collarbone. “Jungmin said we should try out new things.”
“Right.” For some unknown reason, Tiffany started to feel uneasy.
“So…..” Jessica’s mouth went closer to Tiffany’s ear. “We should have sex. Do you want to?” She met her gaze, a hint of concern in her eyes.
That escalated quickly. Despite it, Tiffany was hypnotized. It was too late to back out. Lust had taken over her. The devil had emerged.
**
“How does it feel?” Jessica asked with the little infamous smirk on her face.
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Then Tiffany began to say them repeatedly as Jessica continued to eat her out. “Oh fuck. Why does it feel sooo good? Oh God. Oh God.” She lolled her head, arching her back a little off the bed, and giving more into Jessica’s mouth.
“Does it?” Jessica stopped and met Tiffany’s gaze. The girl groaned and jerked forward, wanting more of Jessica’s tongue.
“Don’t stop.” Tiffany bit the inside of her cheek. I’m so sorry, God.
“From now on…” Jessica trailed her kisses up Tiffany’s abdomen. “I am your God.” She whispered in between kisses. “I am your Jesus.” She unhooked the bra, revealing Tiffany’s succulent breasts. Tiffany held an ardent gaze on Jessica, momentarily mesmerized at how fucking attractive the girl was. How desirable and sexy she was with her hair in her face.
Yes, Jessus. Yes. A low moan slipped from Tiffany’s lips as Jessica ran a tongue around her breast and slid two fingers into her heated entrance. Holy Jessus. “God.. Jess..” Tiffany breathed.
“Tell me. How does it feel?”
“Heaven. It feels like fucking heaven.” Tiffany groaned when Jessica stopped thrusting her fingers into her. Jessica let out a soft laugh and pulled her fingers out, much to Tiffany’s dismay.
“Next time, angel. I’ve got to go now. Work.” Jessica kissed Tiffany lightly and got off the bed and buttoned her blouse. “Lock your way out.” And then she left.
What the hell?
**
“You smell like sex.” Yuri sniffed Tiffany and then narrowed her eyes. “It’s Jessica, isn’t it? That’s her name right.”
“I did not have sex.” Tiffany said a little too loudly. “Excuse me roomie but I have to go pray to Jessus. I mean Jesus.” She slapped her own forehead.
Back in her room, she did the usual routine; went down on her knees and propped her elbows on the bed. She seriously did not know who to pray to.
God or GodJess? Jessus?
“First of all, dear God, I am so sorry for what I have done today. Please forgive me. Secondly, to GodJess or Jessus, fuck you, bitch!"
**
3rd session
Tiffany avoided Jessica like a plague. Every time the girl tried to get her attention, Tiffany would shoot her a glare and huff. To be left naked in someone else’s bed was exactly like being naked in public, she begrudgingly thought.
“Tiffany, have you done anything new? Any progress? Tell us what you did this week.” Jungmin looked at her expectantly. Tiffany fidgeted with her fingers.
Sure, she did a lot of thinking. Thinking about stupid Jessus, that was. Thinking how she wanted to be touched again. Thinking herself into an orgasm. Wanting Jessica to fuck her again.
“Umm.. I took all of my Miranda posters and put it away.” Tiffany stated flatly, knowing Jessica was staring at her again.
“That’s a start.” Jungmin nodded.
When the session ended, Tiffany left as fast as she could before Jessica had the chance to catch up to her. Jessica did try to call her a few times.
**
Standing infront of the building where Jessica lived, Tiffany contemplated in whether to confront her but decided not to. Instead, she went to a bar nearby.
At the bar, Tiffany saw it was Jessica behind the counter. She turned to leave but was stopped when Jessica called out to her. “Tiffany?” The sound of Jessica’s voice pulled Tiffany back in and made her sit on one of the stools.
“You’re a bartender?” Tiffany stared at Jessica who had her hair pulled into a ponytail. The girl looked even more beautiful. And Tiffany wasn’t even drunk yet.
“I co-own this place.” Jessica announced proudly. “Why didn’t you pick up my phone calls?”
“Umm. I didn’t realize. Busy.” Tiffany lied.
A frown look fell upon Jessica’s face. “Four rings meaning someone missed your call. And two rings means they saw your name and hit ignore.”
Tiffany suddenly felt irritated. It was as if Jessica didn’t realize that she did anything wrong. “Well, you left me in your bed, naked.”
“I told you. I had work.”
“This is ridiculous.” Tiffany got off the stool and grabbed her purse.
“Wait-t!” Jessica pleaded and went around the counter. “Sooyoung, can you handle for tonight?” The said name girl just nodded and took over the station.
Then Jessica took Tiffany’s hand and went out of the place. “Hey! What are you doing? Are you going to kill me this time?” Tiffany asked in a serious manner.
“Have you ever been to the beach?”
“Are you serious? Who hasn’t? And what’s with all these ‘Have you ever’s questions?”
“Trying out something new.”
**
It was night by the time they reached the beach. Jessica sat down on the sand and Tiffany followed suit. She folded her legs and rested her chin on her knees.
“What are we doing here? Why? What’s with you? What the hell is going on?” Tiffany just let it out all there. Jessica captured her lips, silencing her.
“There.” Jessica said against her lips and smiled a little. She kissed her again, tasting the gloss off her.
Tiffany pulled away from Jessica at arm’s length. “You’re ruining my determination. This is not what Jungmin wanted us to do. Trying out new things meant getting away from all of this wrong doings.”
“Is it wrong? Is it? Who is he to say what is wrong and right? He’s not fucking God.” Jessica rolled her eyes. “If there is even God.”
“Then why are you in the group? To pick up girls like me?” A sudden realization dawned upon Tiffany. She was a fool to think Jessica had never done something like this before.
The fast change in Jessica’s expression amused Tiffany. Previously, she looked offended because of Jungmin. And now, she was smirking. “Let’s just say, I rescued them. I helped them. And I’m helping you.”
“I don’t need to be rescued by you. I am not going to be one of your girls to fuck with and be called ‘saved’.” Tiffany said, disgusted.
“I’m just trying out new things.” Jessica replied in a small voice, looking straight-ahead at the sea. “Like.. being with a girl who is the same age as me.” She smiled weakly. “Why did you join? You know it's no use. Being gay is not a choice."
"Hmmm." Tiffany let the sand slipped through her fingers. "I just.. I don't know. I just did." The question why will still remain unanswered.
“Anyways, you're born gay for me." Jessica laughed. Tiffany rolled her eyes. "I’m assuming you’re in college. What are you majoring in?”
“English major… New things? Same age?” Tiffany was more interested in the other topic.
“English major?” Jessica laughed mockingly. “What do you even do with an English major?”
“Hey, a lot of things. Ok?” Tiffany scoffed, clearly offended by the person next to her.
“Take off your clothes.” Jessica said in a flat tone.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tiffany was so baffled by Jessica’s bluntness and demands. The girl just say things without the need to revise them first. And there was no way she was going to let Jessica strip her naked again and literally.
“No. Let’s go skinny dipping. Have you ever done it?” The blonde girl stood up and brushed the sand off.
Then she lifted her shirt off, pulled down her shorts, and took off her undergarments. Tiffany could only stare in astonishment. The sight of Jessica’s body was just simply glorious. Much better than a Victoria Secret model’s. Even under the moon’s illumination, she was breathtaking and tragically hot.
Oh well, I’m really gay.
“It’s freaking cold.” The dark sea looked scary to Tiffany. "And menacing."
“Come on.” Jessica held out her hand to Tiffany. And so they did go skinny dipping together in the cold sea. After two freezing minutes, they came out of the water, shaking and laughing as if they were drunk.
They fell onto their clothes, still laughing. Some sand did stick to their skins but they didn’t care. Jessica hovered over Tiffany. Water was dripping from Jessica’s hair and Tiffany tucked a strand of damp hair behind the girl’s ear.
“I’ve never done it on the beach.” Jessica grinned in a somewhat twisted kind. “We could get infection just by doing it here.” She breathed onto Tiffany’s neck and then nibbled on the pulse point gently. Tiffany screwed her eyes shut. “Do you want to?”
“Yes.” A slight whimper escaped from Tiffany’s lips.
**
4th session / Last
The two decided on the fourth session that it would be their last. Tiffany admitted it was useless, after all. But she was glad to have met Jessica. At least, she was thankful for all the crappy sessions she attended.
“Hello everyone, my name is Jo Kwon. I’m a happily married to a woman for two months now.” He smiled, showing his teeth. It looked kind of creepy, Tiffany thought.
“Hello, my name is Taeyeon. I have not slept with a woman for three months now.” Another guest said.
Jessica snickered and then whispered into Tiffany’s ear. “Sooner or later, Taeyeon’s going to explode. You’ll see.”
“What made you say that?”
“Oh. I just know.” Jessica grinned a little.
“Let this be an example for all of you. To get yourself into the straight path.” Jungmin stated. Whatever he said sounded stupid in Tiffany’s ears.
**
In Jessica’s apartment, Tiffany lied on the bed and waited.
Jessica returned to the bedroom, bringing an ice-cream tub. “Have you ever had icecream eaten off you?”
“Nope.” Tiffany answered, grinning. Jessica opened the lid, took a dip at the icecream and then licked it off her finger. Tiffany’s jaw unhinged.
The girl climbed on the bed and straddled on Tiffany’s waist. “I hate raspberry. But they say if you hide the things you dislike with something you like. Eventually, you’re going to love it. Like putting peas or vegetables in meat balls or whatever. And I have a feeling that I’m going to love raspberry.” A smirk was spread across Jessica’s lips.
**
“I still want to try out new things. Like.. have a relationship with you. Go on dates with you. Bring you to places we’ve never been to. Have sex in inappropriate places with you.” Jessica confessed and turned on her side to look at Tiffany.
“I thought you’ve done those with…” Tiffany couldn’t finish her sentence because the thought of it made her feel bitter. Only God knows how many Jessica had picked up.
“I’ve never dated them. There were only two of them. Never had sex with them on the beach. Or brought them to my place.”
“Gee, thanks. I feel better.” Tiffany said sarcastically. But it did make her feel like she won something.
Jessica pulled her into a long slow kiss. “How about now?” Tiffany just hummed against her lips in approval. “And maybe fall in love with you. Jungmin did say ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’.”
a.n; i need to write on more serious things. lol