If you walk around the block, you can take the stairs down to the back parking lot. Admittedly, they're somewhat slippery, wooden stairs, but at least they're (each) horizontal.
Piggyback ride. How often do you get to yell "Yee-haw" in the Goth-Industrial Scene? Ok, how often does anyone else get to yell "Yee-haw". Wait, actually it probably never occurs to anyone else. Anyhow "Piggyback ride" is still my final anwser.
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