Welcome to Slasher College, Population: dwindling

[joshacid]

Pieces!

SEE!  Co-eds stalked by a masked, gloved maniac!  HEAR!  The buzzing of a chainsaw as victims are cut limb from limb!  FEEL!  Nausea.

Campus-stalkers are not generally my horror cup of tea, and Pieces was no exception...But I got it for $5.  The wriggling gorehound in me loved certain scenes, and it was remarkably MST3K-able (just ask Rob and

Comments

Is that exactly what it sounds like?

[mervlurker]

Some added points on Pieces, and then some questions:

1. It has the best tag-line in history, which I assumed was added for the DVD release: "It's exactly what you think it is."

2. The title for the Spanish release of the movie is "Mil Gritos Tiene la Noche," which means "A Thousand Screams Has the Night." I assume because the "tiene" is the third person singular "to have" rather than the plural "tienen," they mean that the night has a thousand screams. Not that one thousand screams have the night.

I missed the last half hour because sleep beckoned too seductively, so some questions:

1. Did we ever find out why Albert Einstein and V.I. Lenin/Sigmund Freud were watching the tennis match?

2. Did the undercover cop posing as a tennis instructor at SCS ever actually instruct tennis, or did she just skulk around the campus late at night?

3. Did the narcoleptic amnesiac kung-fu professor randomly attack any more people?

Re: Is that exactly what it sounds like?

[joshacid]

First of all, I'm laughing about question #3...I'd forgotten about that guy. Who the fuck was that guy?!!! Why was the there a ninja in this movie?!!!! And what did she do to him to make him pass out? Was that a Vulcan Crotch Kick? (Notice how I ducked the question.)

Moving on. Question #1: Einstein, Lenin, and Margaret Thatcher (not to mention Dean Ronald Reagan) were portrayed as spectators at the tennis match as a comment on the lack of recognizable historical world leaders and scientists appearing in the rest of the movie. No doik, stupid.

Question #2: She pretty much skulked around late at night, and nearly hooked up with that one student once or twice. The "undercover" thing was totally useless...It's like saying that Lt. John McClane was undercover as a hostage.

Re: Is that exactly what it sounds like?

[mervlurker]

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten all about the weird sex-thing going on between the cop and that student... I remember her getting on the moto-bike with him (that sounded like a chainsaw) in a weird flirtacious way after the ninja attack that had no meaning. He seemed to have some preternatural (working that word in where I can) sexual power over the GLOSCS in the movie.

Which reminds me of that CREEPY scene with that student in bed with the random girl... her begging him to "do it again" and for him to "gag her so she'll be real quiet." WTFuck?

We're trying on clothes without labels and seeing if they fit.

[mervlurker]

Seriously, I really wanted that "kung-fu professor" to start showing up in random scenes and start kicking people.

And it seems as though they made her a tennis pro for no reason except to have a tennis match. Which was terrible. And they did have a famous tennis star going undercover as a tennis instructor (she was recognized by the nameless student we keep referring to). Because, why not?

[angelalala]

i just want to get my mouht around you're wriggling gorehound

[joshacid]

dont bogart that wriggling gorehound suckle suckle suckle suckle

[mervlurker]

Harry Potter & The Wriggling Gorehound should be out this fall. So what if it's fan fiction by me? Still counts.

Still counts.

[joshacid]

Let me guess: Harry, Ron and Hermione find a wriggling gorehound in a ditch on the Hogwarts grounds...They poke at it with a stick, then release a scorpion onto it and they giggle as the scorpion stings the wriggling gorehound to death. Yeah yeah, your fan fiction is so predictable.

Wow, oops...If I had a dime for every time I mistake you for Sam Peckinpah...