So after 3 years...
"What can I do? The love that we had is torn in two. So you take the smiles from all of our years, I'll take the tears."
I really have to wonder what happened to Friends Forever, I never trusted our lives enough to always believe we'd be together no matter what, shit happens. But I truely did never think we'd stop being friends.
A single conversation, 5 minutes, that's all it would've taken. I wish I knew what I did that was so bad to deserve this, through all the mistakes and shortcomings I've come to realise, none of them were really _that_ bad. As much progress as I've made with myself, I still have a reason to cry when I go to bed at night. The person who never cries can't cry because his eyes are too dry, it's pathetic. Will I ever be able to trust someone that way again? I hope so, I don't want to let this ruin me, but it'll be hard.
It makes me so angry, but it hurts so much that I don't know how to react. Why did it have to cost us each other to get our lives back? It all seems so unnecessary. Like she's just cut her loses, left and moved on. And I'm just supposed to take that and move on too. *shakes head* Rei wasn't even anywhere near this serious and at least I gave her closure. I've got nothing but memories of months ago and the silence of the present, but all the while she's right there, just barely out of my reach, it's like torture. And for what? For what purpose? I have no idea. Maybe she didn't want to leave me with her complete disappearance, so she stuck around just enough that I'd still know she was alive at least. But like I said, a 5 minute conversation and she wouldn't ever have to do anything for me again. So much unecessary pain and bitterness.
That's why I'm sure that things are how I think they are. Not only does she not seem to care, as much as my heart tries to convince me that's impossible, but the fact is, after all that's happened... _I_ can't forgive her for it. I could still maintain a friendship with her, but I don't know if she'd ever be able to get my trust back. So that's that I guess. *sigh*
Tammy, if you have anything to say, say it now. Let me assume it all or set me straight, your choice. I'll always Love You, but when I said I'd die for you, I never meant like this. You could say the same, that you were dying and needed to leave me... The point is you didn't say anything like that at all, so how am I to know? I'm sorry.
"Now I realize that you're no longer mine. But I'm hoping that the pain will ease in time. Although you're leaving, I won't say goodbye. Because I know you're here with me inside."
I really have to wonder what happened to Friends Forever, I never trusted our lives enough to always believe we'd be together no matter what, shit happens. But I truely did never think we'd stop being friends.
A single conversation, 5 minutes, that's all it would've taken. I wish I knew what I did that was so bad to deserve this, through all the mistakes and shortcomings I've come to realise, none of them were really _that_ bad. As much progress as I've made with myself, I still have a reason to cry when I go to bed at night. The person who never cries can't cry because his eyes are too dry, it's pathetic. Will I ever be able to trust someone that way again? I hope so, I don't want to let this ruin me, but it'll be hard.
It makes me so angry, but it hurts so much that I don't know how to react. Why did it have to cost us each other to get our lives back? It all seems so unnecessary. Like she's just cut her loses, left and moved on. And I'm just supposed to take that and move on too. *shakes head* Rei wasn't even anywhere near this serious and at least I gave her closure. I've got nothing but memories of months ago and the silence of the present, but all the while she's right there, just barely out of my reach, it's like torture. And for what? For what purpose? I have no idea. Maybe she didn't want to leave me with her complete disappearance, so she stuck around just enough that I'd still know she was alive at least. But like I said, a 5 minute conversation and she wouldn't ever have to do anything for me again. So much unecessary pain and bitterness.
That's why I'm sure that things are how I think they are. Not only does she not seem to care, as much as my heart tries to convince me that's impossible, but the fact is, after all that's happened... _I_ can't forgive her for it. I could still maintain a friendship with her, but I don't know if she'd ever be able to get my trust back. So that's that I guess. *sigh*
Tammy, if you have anything to say, say it now. Let me assume it all or set me straight, your choice. I'll always Love You, but when I said I'd die for you, I never meant like this. You could say the same, that you were dying and needed to leave me... The point is you didn't say anything like that at all, so how am I to know? I'm sorry.
"Now I realize that you're no longer mine. But I'm hoping that the pain will ease in time. Although you're leaving, I won't say goodbye. Because I know you're here with me inside."