An Experiment in Language

[jovo]

I'm using a slightly different and-I hope-superior style of writing for my newest short story, "Providence." Here's an excerpt. What do you think?

Every morning Sheridan carried herself to Our Lady of Fatima, where she prepared breakfast for the nuns that lived there. Mother Bridgett was very gracious, and every morning she would softly thank

Comments

[luck13]

It definitely is a different writing style, though I wouldn't say better. I think it fits the feel of the story quite nicely, at least, from what I know of the story.

I'm not sure of the use of "delicious". It feels strange to me.

[human_garden]

I like it so far. Ah, I like P!ATD, but they ripped off Chuck Palahniuk. D:

[jovo]

Thanks! Just wait 'till you see the rest. Would you like a sneak peek?

On P!ATD: Did they?