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i am at the tail end of a manic whirlwind ( Read more... )

really, there is only one way to explain this:
in love and ecstatic, ready to pursue anything
and spit on whatever gets in the way.

fire at its full potential

a. is now out of the picture. my picture.
his recovery is doubtful - not in this lifetime.
i lured him, loved him, and then i let him down.

my boyfriend's name is muhammad. his daughter is moira.
you can just call me wreck.

today the outside world is sopping wet, so i want to go nowhere ( Read more... )

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so, yes
my baby guinea pig died before i did enough to save her.
i went to the petstore and tore them a new asshole
whip-words and angry tears included
they offered me another guinea pig.
i was fucking furious but i took her home,
if only to keep her safe and loved.

( meet Even(Eve for short, i suppose.) )

she will be named within the next 48 hours. it will either be "Barely" or "dead."

dead.

yesterday i bought a guinea pig with an upper respitory infection
drained my bank account on antibiotics and cautious care
i'm biting my lip as she sits still in her house, breathing hard
i'm gently wiping her nose and eyes clean every hour.

why can't i stop loving the ones that die

at 2 AM i walked to the creek barefoot.
my pet rat was squirming in my hands, clawing to get out
so i set her on the cold damp bed of leaves and watched her leave me,
step by step, cautiously setting out on her own.


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