Transcript: Psych 3x06 There Might Be Blood

[jpgr]

1987

EXT. SPENCER HOUSE, DAY

SHAWN is digging a hole in the yard while GUS watches.

GUS:
How can you be sure it's down there?

SHAWN:
I can feel it in my bones, Gus. All great oil wildcatters have that ability. Me, Getty, Clampett, Crisco and Wesson.

GUS:
(looks around) But your dad told us never to dig in the yard.

SHAWN:
My dad doesn't understand the concept of taking risks. All we have to do is find the oil, and that'll show him.

GUS:
(jumps in) Okay. Let's say we do find oil. What happens then?

SHAWN:
All of our dreams come true. I'll be rich, and you'll work for me.

HENRY comes home and hears water. He cuts through the house and sees a jet of water shooting up from the ground.

HENRY:
Hey! Hey! What the hell's going on here?

SHAWN and GUS are standing in the hole as the water falls on them.

SHAWN:
Hey, Dad, we were prospecting for oil. How was your day?

HENRY:
All right, look. There's grass seed and duct tape in the garage. I want this yard exactly as it was. I don't care if it takes you both all night, you understand?

The clear water turns muddy and the boys laugh in delight. HENRY just goes inside.

PRESENT DAY

EXT. OIL RIG PLATFORM, NIGHT

Workers are securing items due to the storm. One man is supervising from a raised platform.

SUPERVISOR:
You're bunching up over there! Let's go! Move that pipe. Let's go! All right, McCall, bring those forks in through here. Watch it now. Watch 'em. Easy on the tongs, Woodruss! Woodruss! Easy on the tongs. Don't break those chains! You two are bunching up over there. Let's move that pipe. Let's go! Hey! Hey! McCloud, watch that lift! Check your line, Aldridge! Hey, you! You! That's no man's land! Get away from there!

One worker has moved into the area clearly marked “Danger - Keep Out” along the railing. The SUPERVISOR hurries down the stairs and over to the worker.

SUPERVISOR:
Hey, buddy! I'm talking to you! Clear the area! (shoves the worker out of the way) Don't think I'm not gonna write you up!

A large hook breaks free and swings into No Man’s Land, knocking him over the rail and into the sea below. The men hurry over to the edge to look for him.

INT. SBPD BOAT, CABIN, DAY

VICK is at the wheel, periodically checking the charts. SHAWN and GUS are standing just outside the door on the aft deck.

GUS:
Great, I'm missing a huge symposium on new frontiers in medical treatment, and I don't even know what for.

SHAWN:
What is that? The fungus one?

GUS:
Yeah. Don't play, Shawn, you know that fungus is my bread and butter.

SHAWN:
Really? You know what my bread and butter is? Bread and butter. Fungus has never entered into the equation. Not once. All the Chief said was that time was of the essence and that she'd brief us on the boat.

GUS:
I wonder what this case is about. It obviously has something to do with the ocean.

SHAWN:
Oh, Gus. It could be anything. Crab-on-crab violence. A gang war between the mermen and the shark people. Or maybe she wants to take us wild orca hunting.

VICK:
All right, guys. Come on up.

SHAWN and GUS enter the cabin.

VICK:
All right, here's the deal. A safety inspector named Butch Hicks fell to his death from an offshore oil rig last night and his body washed up on shore. The rig he was working on, is the Bamford number 7. That's where we're headed.

SHAWN:
First of all, let me just say, awesome! I've always wanted to go on an oil rig.

GUS:
Excuse me, Chief, but how is this a police matter? From what you've said, it's an accident.

VICK:
Yeah. That's what the Coast Guard thinks. But I'm not so sure. We received an anonymous tip about a week ago that we traced to a pay phone outside the dive shop on the pier. The caller said that something highly unsafe was going on out on that rig and that he was risking everything to warn us.

SHAWN:
Dude, harbor seal. (points out the window)

GUS:
What? (looks)

SHAWN:
Did you share this information about the anonymous tip with the Coast Guard?

VICK:
Absolutely not. I've had dealings with them in the past and I don't trust 'em.

SHAWN:
If you suspect foul play, shouldn't your lead detective be here? Where's Lassie?

GUS:
And Juliet? Shouldn't she be here?

VICK:
Okay, well, the truth is, um, what we're doing isn't exactly… We're acting more in an unofficial capacity, and any more questions and I'm gonna turn this boat around, take you both back to shore, understood?

SHAWN:
I'm all right with that. Except that Gus' leg is touching mine.

GUS:
Is not.

SHAWN:
He keeps looking at my ear.

VICK:
Enough. Now we're gonna be there in about five...

A ship’s horn blares as it comes up behind them.

WOMAN:
(over loudspeaker) This is the U.S. Coast Guard. Stop your engine and prepare to be boarded.

VICK:
Damn it. (stops the engine)

The Coast Guard boat comes alongside.

VICK:
I'll handle this. (picks up clipboard and leaves cabin)

EXT. SBPD BOAT, DECK, DAY

The woman officer walks along the gunwale.

VICK:
Good morning.

WOMAN:
(jumps onto the deck) Hey! Good morning. What brings you out here, Chief?

VICK:
Just doing a little sight-seeing.

WOMAN:
Yeah, is that right? (sees the clipboard) What's this? It's a rig manifest. (takes clipboard) You wouldn't be thinking of nosing in on my accidental death case, would you? ‘Cause that's my jurisdiction.

VICK:
(laughs) Sorry to break it to you, Commander, but according to the GPS, that southeast corner of the rig crosses back inside three miles, which brings it under my jurisdiction.

WOMAN:
Oh, you don't want to come up against me because you will lose.

VICK:
We'll see about that.

SHAWN:
(steps forward and shakes her hand) Hi, Commander, I'm Shawn Spencer, amateur dolphinologist, big fan of the briny and lemon squares.

VICK:
(whispers) Stay out of this, Mr. Spencer.

SHAWN:
Don't worry, Chief. I'm sure the Commander here is a perfectly reasonable human person. Huh? Here's the thing. We received an anonymous tip that there may be more going on here than meets the eye. So, with your blessing, of course, we'd like to go ahead and check out the rig. What do you say?

WOMAN:
Anonymous tip? You weren't gonna share this information with me?

VICK:
Like you ever shared anything with me.

WOMAN:
(pokes VICK) I could have you brought up on charges.

VICK:
(pokes WOMAN) You can't intimidate me.

WOMAN:
I'm giving you exactly ten seconds to get this vessel out of my waters. (slaps VICK’S arm)

VICK:
I'd like to see you make me. (slaps WOMAN)

WOMAN:
Oh, yeah?

VICK:
Oh, yeah.

WOMAN:
Oh, look! My nose is touching yours. What do you think about that?

GUS:
Can you do that to a Commander?

SHAWN:
You can when she's your sister.

VICK:
Don't you put your nose right up into mine again.

WOMAN:
What if I put it really close?

VICK:
What if I actually touch your nose?

**********************************************************************
PSYCH

“There Might Be Blood”
By
Kell Cahoon

STARRING:
James Roday
Dulé Hill
Timothy Omundson
Maggie Lawson
Kirsten Nelson
And
Corbin Bernsen

DIRECTOR
John Badham

**********************************************************************

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

VICK is on the phone while her sister looks on.

VICK:
Yes, sir. I understand. (hangs up)

SISTER:
Judge ruled with me on jurisdiction, didn't he?

VICK:
Yeah. But that doesn't change the fact that I have far more experience investigating homicides.

SISTER:
But this wasn't a homicide. This was an accident.

VICK:
You don't know that for certain.

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

SHAWN and GUS watch the sisters argue.

GUS:
I can't get over it. After all this time, the Chief never said she had a sister.

SHAWN:
It's strange.

LASSITER:
(comes up behind them) And such an alluring sister at that.

SHAWN:
Creepy.

JULIET:
(joins them) You should hear this. I got the Commander's bio off the Coast Guard web site.

SHAWN:
(takes paper from JULIET, clears throat and starts to read) "Commander B... "

JULIET:
(takes paper back) "Commander Barbara Dunlap. Graduated U.S. Coast Guard Academy with honors conducted multiple search and rescue operations Kodiak, Alaska, assumed command Santa Barbara station 2002. To date, interdicted over $5 million of illegal narcotics and has saved 57 lives."

SHAWN whistles and LASSITER is impressed.

JULIET:
Very impressive.

LASSITER:
Impressive and intoxicating. I mean, all that power in one woman? (looks at paper) There's no photo.

SHAWN:
Creepier.

VICK and BARBARA exit the office, still arguing.

BARBARA:
I know that I don't care about your so-called experience, okay? You are not getting anywhere near my oil rig.

VICK:
Well, too bad because we have a psychic, (points) Mr. Spencer, who is gonna figure out who our anonymous tipster is, which could be pretty darn important to the investigation.

BARBARA:
Yes, it could. And since this is now in my jurisdiction, your psychic (points) is my psychic.

VICK glares at SHAWN.

SHAWN:
I…

LASSITER pushes past SHAWN to introduce himself.

LASSITER:
Commander, Carlton Lassiter, head detective. (shakes her hand) I had no idea that the Chief had such an accomplished younger sister.

VICK:
(through gritted teeth) She's older.

LASSIITER realizes his mistake with a silent “Oh” and changes the subject.

LASSITER:
O’Hara, what are you doing standing there? We have a missing persons case to work.

LASSITER and JULIET walk away.

BARBARA:
Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have an investigation to conduct. Spencer, are you coming?

SHAWN:
Yes. May we have a moment with the Chief, Commander?

BARBARA:
Meet me at the ship. And I'll see you in an hour. Don't be late. (leaves)

SHAWN:
All right, Chief, I only said yes so that we can…

VICK:
You don't owe me an explanation. You do what you have to do. (goes into office)

SHAWN:
Is it just me, or does she seem peeved?

EXT. MARINA, DAY

SHAWN and GUS walk from the lot to the dock.

GUS:
All I'm saying is, so much for us being in Chief Vick's good graces. We may have burned our bridge with her.

SHAWN:
Don't be a myopic Chihuahua. I have a foolproof plan that not only solves the case, gives Chief all the credit.

GUS:
What is it?

SHAWN:
All I have is the phrase, "I have a foolproof plan". Beyond that, I'm wide open.

SHAWN stops when they arrive at the dive shop. He sees a camera, a nautilus shell on the sign and the payphone.

>>>FLASHBACK>>>

VICK:
We received an anonymous tip about a week ago that we traced to a pay phone outside the dive shop on the pier.

>>>END FLASHBACK>>>

SHAWN:
Okay, research time.

They walk down the ramp.

SHAWN:
Give me everything you got on offshore oil rigs.

GUS:
All right. Generally, oil platforms are located on a continental shelf.

SHAWN:
Shelf. Got it.

GUS:
A typical platform has around 30 well-heads.

SHAWN:
30, check.

GUS:
Drilling continues 24 hours a day, there are two crews on board at all times. One for the day shift, one for the night shift.

SHAWN:
"Love brokers."

GUS looks at him questioningly.

SHAWN:
Night Shift. Come on, dude. You got the Fonz playing against type.

They arrive at the slip, but the Coast Guard boat is gone.

GUS:
Where is this boat?

They see a young man in uniform.

SHAWN:
Excuse us. Is this where the Coast Guard boat launches from?

MAN:
Are you Shawn Spencer?

SHAWN:
I am indeed.

MAN:
Commander Dunlap instructed me to give you this. (takes off hat, takes out note and gives it to SHAWN)

SHAWN:
"Gentlemen, your job is to stay put and do nothing."

GUS takes the note and reads it himself.

GUS:
I don't believe this. She goes through all the trouble to hire us and then leaves us behind?

SHAWN:
Don't you see what's happening here, Gus? We are merely pawns in a bitter sibling feud.

GUS:
I'm nobody's pawn, Shawn. I'm a queen.

They look at each other, realizing what GUS said.

GUS:
At least I can make my conference on foot fungus. (turns to leave)

SHAWN:
(stops him) No, no, no. We cannot quit.

GUS:
Why not?

SHAWN:
Because we're not quitters. We're doing this for the Chief, remember? We've gotta get on that rig.

GUS:
But how?

MAN:(off-screen)
Have a good trip, Mr. Bamford.

SHAWN turns around and sees an older, heavyset man in a very Texan/Western outfit complete with Stetson. He is with a younger woman as they walk down the ramp.

>>>FLASHBACK>>>

VICK:
The rig he was working on is the Bamford number 7, that's where we're headed.

>>>END FLASHBACK>>>

SHAWN:
I have an idea. But we'll need cool names.

INT. LAUNCH, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are sitting on the BAMFORD launch, having talked their way on.

DAUGHTER:
So, Mr. Turner...

SHAWN:
Please, call me T-Bone.

DAUGHTER:
(sits next to SHAWN) Okay, T-Bone, have you two invested in offshore drilling before?

SHAWN:
(laughs) Have we... Yes, Lordy, yes.

DAUGHTER:
So, you're familiar with the technology?

SHAWN:
I'd say it's pretty straight forward. You got your basic rig with 30 warheads, sitting on the continental countertop, running 24 crews day and night every two hours.

DAUGHTER:
That made absolutely no sense.

GUS:
The truth is, no, we're not that sophisticated in the oil business.

DAUGHTER:
I didn't think so. Look, my father and I don't appreciate our time being wasted.

BAMFORD:
(enters) You'll have to pardon my daughter, gentlemen. Apparently, Yale University didn't teach her any manners, or how to get a husband. Honey, run down there into the galley mix us up some cocktails while the men talk.

DAUGHTER:
Sure. (leaves)

SHAWN:
Wow. Not to be rude, Billy Joe, but it's the 21st century, women have earned the right to be treated equally.

BAMFORD:
(sits next to SHAWN) Cut the crap, son. A blind man could see that you two aren't investors.

SHAWN:
Technically, a blind man can't see anything, Billy Joe.

BAMFORD:
I offered you a ride out here so I could take a look at you, figure out what you were up to. What are you? Government watchdogs? EPA? Is this about that little oil spill?

GUS:
You had an oil spill out here?

BAMFORD:
(hesitates with fake smile) No.

SHAWN:
The truth, Billy Joe, is that we have not been completely honest with you. We're working for the Coast Guard.My name is Shawn Spencer. This is my partner, Chesterfield McMillan, and wife. We are investigating the death of your safety inspector, Butch Hicks, and whether or not it was truly an accident.

GUS:
But we were running late, so we missed the boat ride out here.

BAMFORD:
As much as I don't appreciate being lied to, if you're right about Hicks's death not being an accident, I want to know about it as much as you do. What can I do to help you?

SHAWN:
Well, the first thing we'll need to see is Mr. Hicks' personal effects. And I will be needing a little baby umbrella in my mai tai.

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

LASSITER and JULIET are walking the hall.

LASSITER:
What's our, uh, missing person's name again?

JULIET:
Dr. Christopher Renaud. He's a professor at the university.

LASSITER:
And last seen?

JULIET:
His 3:00 lecture on Thursday.

LASSITER:
All right, we're gonna need a, uh, list of all the people in attendance that day.

JULIET:
I've obtained a list from the TA. And I've set up interviews with each and every one of his students.

LASSITER:
(sits at his desk) Good work, O'Hara. Ooh, one more thing.

JULIET:
(sits next to him) Shoot.

LASSITER:
I am thinking of asking out Commander Dunlap on a date. Your thoughts. (picks up sandwich)

JULIET:
(holding her pwn sandwich) Um, well, uh, I think it's a bad idea, Carlton.

LASSITER:
Really? Why?

JULIET:
Um, well, for starters, you know, she's the Chief's sister. Not to mention, they don't get along. You saw the way they were screaming at each other.

LASSITER:
See it? I devoured it. It was incredible. That Barbara, she's a real snap pea, isn't she? (takes bite) Mmm. She's got that great sturdy build.

JULIET:
Yeah. You know, why don't we focus on interviewing our witnesses for the missing persons case, hunh?

LASSITER:
Mmm. Absolutely. Yeah. Forget I even mentioned that other thing.

JULIET:
I will. (leaves)

LASSITER takes another bite of his sandwich.

EXT. OIL RIG, PLATFORM, DAY

SHAWN, GUS and BAMFORD arrive on the platform.

SHAWN:
Now, there was an anonymous tip that something unsafe was going on out here. Any clue as to what the caller might have been referring to?

BAMFORD:
I got no idea. This place is run strictly by the book. Butch Hicks made sure of that, and so do I. You can ask anybody. My professional reputation is based on safety. Watch your head going in here now.

INT. OIL RIG, HALL, DAY

They head down a set of stairs.

BAMFORD:
Somebody put a rail on this side of this ladder. That's a violation. Here's Hicks's office.

SHAWN:
I see.

SHAWN tries the door to the Geology Lab right across the hall. It’s locked.

SHAWN:
What's in here?

BAMFORD:
That's the geologist's lab. My daughter's trying to get me all high-tech. She thinks because I punched a few dry holes that I've lost my touch. And she talked me into hiring this fancy rock doctor to show me where to dig. I don't need nobody to tell me where to dig. Once this well comes in, like I know it's going to, I'm gonna be back on top again.

SHAWN sees a chart on the wall with the Bamford #7 marked on it.

BAMFORD:
(opens the door to the office) You guys take your time. If you need me, I'll be topside.

GUS goes in and SHAWN pauses at the door.

SHAWN:
If you need us, we'll be bottoms-up.

INT, OIL RIG, OFFICE, DAY

GUS starts looking at hanging clipboards while SHAWN looks into cabinets.

GUS:
So what are we looking for?

SHAWN:
Anything that will help us figure out who the anonymous tipster was. Or a Kit Kat. I'm starving. Since Hicks was in charge of safety on the rig, it's safe to assume the tipster may have come to him first.

GUS:
I have this big stack of safety violation reports. Man, this guy Hicks was a real stickler.

SHAWN:
If by stickler, you mean a guy who doesn't have any snacks, I agree with that.

SHAWN finds an oxygen tank with a label on it from the dive shop on the pier. BARBARA enters with two Coast Guard.

BARBARA:
What are you two doing here?

SHAWN:
Not eating candy, I can tell you that.

BARBARA:
My orders for you were to stay put and do nothing.

SHAWN:
Really, that wasn't reverse-psychology?

BARBARA:
Out.

SHAWN:
Wait. I was drawn to this office with very powerful psychic visions of a man in scuba gear, with a salamander in his wetsuit.

BARBARA:
Well, thank you, Mr. Spencer, but I don't see how that's helpful.

GUS:
Or healthy.

SHAWN:
Wait, I'm seeing more. The anonymous tipster. I can tell you where he is.

BARBARA:
Really? And where's that?

SHAWN:
The morgue. Commander, look, my myriad psychic detective skills assure me that the anonymous tipster is Safety Inspector Butch Hicks.

BARBARA:
Your psychic detective skills?

SHAWN:
You left out myriad.

BARBARA:
Right.

SHAWN:
But wait, there's more. I see a security camera in front of the dive shop. All you have to do is review Friday's tape and you'll see that I'm right.

BARBARA:
Fine, let's say you are right. It doesn't change anything. All the evidence still points to his death being an accident. Let's go.

BARBARA jerks her head towards the door and SHAWN and GUS leave.

EXT. OIL RIG, PLATFORM, DAY

SHAWN, GUS, BARBARA and her two officers exit onto the platform.

BARBARA:
As long as I'm in charge of this case, you will follow my orders to the letter. And my orders are that you get off this rig! We have a shuttle leaving in an hour, you will be on it! (pushes past them)

SHAWN:
Is it just me, or is that woman a tinge bossy?

GUS:
She scares me.

SHAWN:
Let's hop to it. We have less than an hour to interview every worker on the night shift.

GUS:
No, Shawn. Let's discuss something that won't get us into trouble, like where we're gonna eat when we get back to shore. All that Kit Kat talk made me hungry.

SHAWN:
Dude, this may be the only chance we have to weed out who might have wanted to kill Hicks.

GUS:
If the Commander finds us, she's gonna go ape. (sniffs) Do I smell meatloaf?

SHAWN:
And fresh apple cobbler, if I'm not mistaken.

GUS:
I guess it won't hurt to ask a few questions.

SHAWN nods in the direction of Miss Bamford who is using her phone. They walk over and SHAWN puts on an accent out of a Western.

SHAWN:
Well, hello, Miss Ashley. Would you kindly direct my buddy and I to the chuck wagon, please?

ASHLEY:
I'm sorry?

GUS:
We would like to know where the mess hall is.

ASHLEY:
It's two decks down.

SHAWN:
Awesome. Would you like to have lunch with us? Perhaps, afterwards, you could give us a little tour?

ASHLEY:
(laughs) Look, regardless of how my father treats me, I'm not the cruise director here. (leaves)

INT. OIL RIG, MESS HALL, DAY

SHAWN gets a spoonful of food dropped on his plate by the server behind the counter.

SHAWN:
So, tell me about the safety inspector.

SERVER:
That guy was always writing me up for the smallest infraction. I hate to say it, but I'm glad he's dead.

SHAWN:
(makes a face) There's no dairy in that, is there?

GUS is sitting at a table attempting to eat. He’s questioning a female WORKER.

WORKER:
(mouthful) You know, I had a dream that I knifed him in his sleep. But I woke up.

GUS puts down his fork. Later, SHAWN and GUS are sitting at a table with another worker.

WORKER 2:
Hicks should have never gone into no man's land.

SHAWN:
No man's land?

WORKER 2:
It's the area that's strictly off-limits during crane operation. Hicks should have known better. I mean, he was a safety inspector. Anyway, it's a shame if someone loosened that tackle and killed him.

GUS:
You know, you're the first person to show any empathy for Hicks.

WORKER 2:
What? (looks at them and laughs) No, I'm saying if it was me, I would have used a gun.

Later, SHAWN and GUS are clearing their trays.

SHAWN:
This place is lousy with suspects. And excessively heavy food. I think I ate my weight in that cowboy chicken casserole.

GUS:
Man, this food was disgusting. All I had was a half a bran muffin. What's our next move?

SHAWN:
Well, I think we need to get into Hicks’ house. If there really was a conspiracy to kill him, we're gonna need hard evidence.

GUS:
When we get back to shore, we go see Chief Vick.

SHAWN:
Well, first we go home, change into our jammies, take a nap. Then we wake up, have some juice, then straight to Vick.

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

JULIET is on the phone at her desk.

JULIET:
All right. Well, call me if anyone matching that description shows up. Thanks. (hangs up)

SHAWN and GUS arrive.

SHAWN:
Hey, Jules. Chief in her office?

JULIET:
Ladies room.

SHAWN:
Darn. Gus and I really need to speak to her. Think you can give us a numeral so we can gauge just how long she'll be?

JULIET:
Oh, I don't know. Five, seven minutes maybe.

SHAWN:
How about number one or number two?

JULIET:
I have no idea, Shawn. And no, I am not gonna go to the ladies’ room and check on her for you.

SHAWN:
(picks up photo) Is this your missing person?

JULIET:
Dr. Christopher Renaud. (takes photo back) He's a professor at the university. Been missing for a week.

VICK joins them.

VICK:
What are you two doing here?

SHAWN:
Oh, we have our answer.

GUS:
Tinkle.

SHAWN:
Chief, we need your help.

VICK:
Oh, you need my help? Oh, I've got to give you credit, Mr. Spencer. You have more than your share of gumption.

GUS:
Please, Chief. This will only take a minute.

SHAWN:
Come on. For old times' sake.

VICK:
(holds up her finger) One minute. No more.

VICK heads to her office and SHAWN and GUS follow.

SHAWN:
Chief, I read every single worker on that rig.

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

VICK opens the door and they enter.

GUS:
And they all hated Hicks.

SHAWN:
I'm getting two very distinct psychic vibes here.

VICK closes the door behind them.

SHAWN:
The first, there was a conspiracy behind Hicks' death. Second, Craig T. Nelson will donate his remaining hair to the Smithsonian.

GUS:
Yeah. Look, Chief, we need help learning more about Hicks, and a good start would be access to where he lived.

SHAWN points at GUS.

VICK:
I still don't understand why you're coming to me with this. I mean, why don't you go to the Commander?

SHAWN:
She really doesn't want us involved with this case.

VICK:
Really? Imagine that. I'm sorry. I can't help you. As the Commander pointed out, this case is out of my jurisdiction. And your minute is up. (walks to her desk)

SHAWN:
Gus, will you excuse us? I need to speak with the Chief in private.

GUS:
No problem. Just so you know, it was Shawn's idea for us to go with your sister. (waves and leaves)

SHAWN turns to face VICK sitting at her desk.

SHAWN:
Karen, Chief Karen. Chief Karen Vick? That just feels a little long, doesn't it?

VICK:
I said I'm busy, Mr. Spencer.

SHAWN:
I'm sensing something here… (puts hand to his head)

VICK:
Don't do that. (points at him)

SHAWN:
(lowers hand) Look, the only reason I took this case was to help you.

VICK:
Oh, really? Help me how?

SHAWN:
If I can tie that murder to a piece of evidence on land, the case is back in your jurisdiction.

VICK:
Well, that's actually kind of sweet. Don't tell anyone I used that word.

SHAWN:
Deal. (sits) Now I know it's none of my business, but what is going on with you and Commander Babs?

VICK:
It's complicated.

SHAWN:
Believe me, I know what it feels like growing up with an older sister who gets all the attention.

VICK:
I didn't know you had an older sister, Spencer.

SHAWN:
I don't. But I did watch a lot of reruns of The Brady Bunch.

VICK:
You know, Barbara and I weren't always like this. I mean, we used to be, well, close.

SHAWN:
I know exactly how you feel. And by I, I mean Jan.

VICK makes a long-suffering face.

SHAWN:
So, was it something specific that brought things to a head?

VICK:
No, nothing specific. It's just years of trying to outdo each other.

SHAWN:
(sighs) So, should I go divine that piece of evidence I was referring to?

VICK:
I don't know. Should you?

SHAWN smiles then leaves.

INT. HICK’S HOUSE, DAY

SHAWN and GUS enter through an open window. GUS enters head-first and gets stuck.

GUS:
Shawn.

SHAWN:
Oh, uh, I'm sorry, buddy. (lifts the window) There we go. Right in there.

GUS stands and SHAWN closes the window.

SHAWN:
Wow, looks like Hicks' obsession with safety did not extend to his colon.

Practically every surface is covered with take-out containers and liquor bottles.

GUS:
Vick will go ballistic if she found out we broke in here.

SHAWN:
We didn't break in. The window was open. Now, come on!

GUS:
What the heck are we looking for anyway?

SHAWN:
Anything Hicks may have received with the threat of violence. Correspondence, angry phone messages, mash notes.

GUS:
Mash notes are love letters, Shawn. (walks to desk)

SHAWN:
Really? Remind me, I owe someone a huge apology.

GUS:
Let's start with this computer. I guess I have to break the pass code. (wiggles fingers)

GUS goes through a little preparation ritual as SHAWN joins him. SHAWN sees a fez, a fan and a fancy letter opener.

SHAWN:
Panther21.

GUS:
Panther21?

SHAWN:
Just try it.

GUS:
(types) That's it.

SHAWN:
(nods) Mmm-hmm.

GUS:
You got all that just from putting together things from around the room?

SHAWN:
No, it was written on the computer. I saw the reflection on the cd case.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN walks away. GUS checks the emails.

GUS:
All right. Almost all of his recent emails are from someone called bishop77. "Why haven't you called me back?” "The situation on the rig is getting more serious every day!” "Why are you ignoring me?" Dude, listen to this one. (waves SHAWN over) "If you don't do something about this, I'll go to the authorities."

SHAWN:
Dude, you know what this means? Bishop77 is the anonymous tipster, not Hicks.

GUS:
And if we could figure out who he is, we could find out what's really going on out on that rig.

SHAWN:
And who killed Hicks, and why. Bishop77. He's Catholic, or he plays chess.

GUS:
I got it. I got it. A guy at work showed me how to take an email address and get its owner's real name. I'll start by using an email header to trace back to the original IP address.

SHAWN leans in close to watch and GUS sniffs him.

SHAWN:
What? Dear God, what are you doing?

GUS:
Shawn, what did I tell you about eating onions during lunch? It makes your breath stink. That's why I bought you those mints. Use them.

SHAWN:
(breathes into hand) Dude, I didn't eat onions during lunch. I ate everything but onions. I don't smell anything.

GUS continues to sniff and it leads him to a closet. SHAWN ignores GUS and breathes into his hand again.

SHAWN:
That smells good. That smells really good.

GUS:
Dude! It's coming from inside here.

SHAWN:
Well, open it up.

SHAWN walks over and GUS opens the closet door. The body of a dead man falls forward and GUS catches it out of reflex while SHAWN steps back.

GUS:
(grunts) Why does it always have to be a dead guy?

SHAWN:
Why does he smell like onions?

GUS:
Will you help me?

SHAWN gingerly takes an arm as GUS pushes the body back into the closet.

GUS:
Who do you think it is?

>>>FLASHBACK>>>

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

SHAWN:
(picks up photo) Is this your missing person?

JULIET:
Dr. Christopher Renaud.

>>>END FLASHBACK>>>

SHAWN:
That's Lassiter and Juliet's missing person.

GUS lets go and the body falls to the floor.

EXT. HICK’S HOUSE, DAY

SHAWN and GUS stand on the sidewalk and hear sirens. From the right comes the Coast Guard and from the left, the SBPD. Both vehicles stop with a squeal of brakes, merely inches separating the front bumpers. VICK gets out of the car accompanied by LASSITER and JULIET. BARBARA get out of her vehicle with two other officers.

VICK:
(approaches SHAWN) Mr. Spencer, what's this about?

BARBARA:
(hurries forward) Whoa, whoa, wait, he works for me. Mr. Spencer, what's this about?

SHAWN:
Look, the reason I called the two of you is because there's something in this house that concerns you both.

SHAWN leads them through the gate and up the front walk.

VICK:
Oh, please don't tell me you went into Hicks' house without a warrant.

BARBARA:
Hey! Warrant? No one talked to me about a warrant.

SHAWN:
(stops on steps) I need a warrant, all of a sudden? I'm a diviner! It all happens here. (waves his fingers by his head) And here. (by his heart) And, in extreme cases, here. (GUS’ face)

GUS slaps SHAWN’S hand away.

VICK:
Okay, what exactly is in there?

SHAWN:
A missing person. Professor... Renaud?

JULIET:
That's our missing person. But we never found a connection between he and Hicks.

LASSITER:
We'll check it out.

JULIET and LASSITER enter the house.

VICK:
What would Renaud be doing in Hicks' house?

BARBARA:
And how does this affect my case?

SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa. Wait, I'm getting something.

>>>FLASHBACK>>>

INT. OIL RIG, HALL, DAY

BAMFORD:
Talked me into hiring this fancy rock doctor to show me where to dig. Well, I don't need anybody to show me where to dig.

>>>END FLASHBACK>>>

SHAWN:
Renaud worked as a consulting geologist for Hicks' employer, Bamford Exploration.

LASSITER and JULIET exit the house.

JULIET:
It's Renaud.

LASSITER:
Spencer's right. Not words I enjoy saying.

VICK:
Okay, then.

SHAWN:
Well, I'd say that ties up the missing person case quite nicely. This is usually the place where you say, "Nice work, Spencer."

VICK mumbles.

SHAWN:
I'm sorry, Chief. I didn't catch that.

BARBARA:
So, uh, the victim worked for Bamford Drilling. What does that have to do with Hicks' murder?

SHAWN and GUS look at each other.

VICK:
You know, if you don't mind, let me ask the questions now. Because in case you haven't noticed, we're on land, which brings this case back into my jurisdiction.

BARBARA:
Listen to yourself, will you? "My jurisdiction." You're only interested in this case because you're itching to horn in on my turf.

VICK:
Itching? (scoffs) Listen to yourself! Your turf? We're talking about a whole ocean, not the TV room!

SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa, sisters, please! Nobody's getting horned here! Two men are dead! This is not the time for petty sibling squabbles. That's what Thanksgiving is for. We need to come together and work as a group to get to the truth. And the truth is… Renaud is our anonymous tipster, not Hicks.

>>>FLASHBACK>>>

SHAWN voices his theory and we see how it could have played out.

INT. RENAUD’S OFFICE, DAY

Renaud is typing furiously at his computer.

SHAWN: (v.o.)
I can see a series of emails from Renaud to Hicks, the safety inspector, warning him that something unsafe was happening on that rig.

INT. HICK’S HOUSE, DAY

Renaud argues with Hicks.

SHAWN: (v.o.)
But Hicks, he refuses to address the issue, probably because he's covering something up. And then, fearing that the truth would get out, Hicks...

>>>END FLASHBACK>>>

SHAWN makes the sound effect and hand motion of a hammer being used.

SHAWN:
Pssh! Stop! Hammer time! Whoosh!

>>>FLASHBACK>>>

INT. HICK’S HOUSE, DAY

Hicks stands there briefly before turning away.

SHAWN: (v.o.)
Hicks kills Renaud. The question is, what was Hicks trying to hide?

>>>END FLASHBACK>>>

VICK:
Thank you for that eloquent summation, Mr. Spencer.

SHAWN:
It's my pleasure, Chief. I think our next move should be...

VICK:
For me to have Lassiter and O'Hara now look into it.

VICK goes up the stairs into the house. LASSITER and JULIET follow. LASSITER is smiling.

LASSITER:
Wait, wait, wait. Okay, this is great. Barbara just witnessed the Chief choose me over Spencer. In her eyes, my stock just went up. Now if I could just get her to witness me discharge my weapon.

JULIET shakes her head as she follows.

BARBARA:
Well, Mr. Spencer, this case does warrant further investigation on my end as well.

SHAWN:
Absolutely. Thank you, Commander. I think the first thing we need to investigate is why Hicks was in no man's land. The safety inspector, of all people, should have known better.

BARBARA:
Yeah, and I'll have my people look into that. Oh, yeah. By the way, you're fired. (leaves)

GUS:
Fired? Nobody fires me, Shawn. What do we do next?

SHAWN:
I can't stop asking myself, why was the geologist's office the only door that was locked? I'm telling you, something was in there.

GUS:
We gotta get back on that rig. But how?

SHAWN:
I have an idea.

GUS:
Is it good?

SHAWN:
Not really.

EXT. MARINA, DAY

HENRY is on his boat, preparing to cast off when SHAWN and GUS run up.

SHAWN:
Dad! Whoa, whoa! Wait! Wait, wait! Ah, thank God!

HENRY:
Hey, Shawn! What are you doing here?

SHAWN:
Well, hey, you know what? Gus and I thought maybe we'd go out with you today.

HENRY:
Ah, that's a first. Every time I ask you to go out fishing, you come up with some lame excuse. What was it? Last time it was, uh, one word. “Books”.

SHAWN:
(laughs) That's right. What can I say? We're both in the mood for some serious angling. Huh?

SHAWN and GUS climb aboard and sit.

SHAWN:
We heard the big ones are biting.

HENRY:
That's funny. I heard the storm scared all the fish away. Wait a minute, what did you hear was biting? It's not pike, is it?

SHAWN:
As a matter of fact, it was pike. Man, the pike is biting!

HENRY:
Yeah, well, pike is a freshwater fish. In case you morons haven't noticed, that's the ocean out there. All right, Shawn. What's up? What do you want?

SHAWN:
We believe the evidence we need to solve a case is on an offshore oil rig. It's the Bamford Number 7.

GUS:
We were hoping that you could give us a lift out there.

HENRY:
Can't do it. Sorry, guys. Even if I was so inclined, this boat isn't designed to go out that far.

SHAWN:
Dad, come on, this is important. It's not just about solving the case. We gotta get back in Vick's good graces.

HENRY:
Shawn, cannot do it.

SHAWN:
(sighs) Shocking.

SHAWN and GUS stand.

HENRY:
But I, uh, I think I got a friend over here. Captain Dale might be able to help you out.

They look over at a beat-up, dirty boat. DALE looks a typical old-salt type, throwing chum off the stern.

HENRY:
Of course, you'll have to do some chores.

SHAWN:
Chores?

DALE waves.

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

BARBARA knocks on the door and peeks her head in.

BARBARA:
Hey, can I come in?

VICK:
What do you want, Barb? Here to argue some more about jurisdiction?

BARBARA:
Actually, no. (enters)

VICK:
Yeah, well, I have a lot of work to do, so...

BARBARA:
Well, the thing is, I had my people look into what Spencer said. (sits) What was Hicks doing out in no man's land? Uh, did somebody lure him out there? So, I took a trip out to the rig, had a look at the crane. It turns out the crane had been tampered with. Hicks was murdered. I was wrong.

VICK:
Um, Spencer was right. (hands BARBARA file) About Hicks murdering Renaud. His prints were all over the murder weapon.

BARBARA:
(tosses file onto desk) Well, then, we need to find Spencer and see what else he's figured out.

VICK:
Lead the way.

BARBARA:
Can I?

VICK:
Yeah.

BARBARA:
Let's go.

The sisters leave. VICK smiles.

INT. OIL RIG, HALL, DAY

SHAWN and GUS sneak down the stairs outside the geology lab. SHAWN works the lock.

GUS:
Damn that Captain Dale. I still smell like fish. I hate fish.

SHAWN:
That's not true. You love my Cajun crawfish hushpuppies.

GUS:
That's mostly cornmeal, and you know that!

SHAWN gets the lock and they enter the lab.

INT, OIL RIG, LAB, DAY

GUS switches on the light and closes the door behind them. SHAWN hold up something in his hand and GUS takes it and examines it.

GUS:
Look what you did to my credit card! You ruined it!

SHAWN:
Dude, it had a 29.7% interest rate. I did you a favor. Stop complaining. Start looking.

GUS rubs the card against the edge of the counter. SHAWN opens the top drawer of a wide file cabinet.

SHAWN:
You good on litmus paper?

GUS huffs and begins looking at some spiral-bound books. SHAWN tries the second drawer but finds it locked. He takes out his Swiss Army knife and uses one of the blades on the lock. He pulls out a transparent film with some writing on it.

SHAWN:
Huh.

GUS walks over.

GUS:
What the heck is that?

SHAWN:
Looks like a map. “BR#7”

>>>FLASHBACK>>>

INT. OIL RIG, HALL, DAY

BAMFORD:
I don't need nobody to tell me where to dig.

While BAMFORD is talking, SHAWN sees the chart map on the wall.

>>>END FLASHBACK>>>

SHAWN:
Why would Renaud hand draw a map that already existed? Remember that map we saw in the corridor?

GUS:
Yeah.

SHAWN:
Yeah, go grab it.

GUS heads for the door.

INT. OIL RIG, HALL, DAY

GUS steps into the hall but pulls back against the wall as one of the workers passes by. As soon as he’s able, he dashes across the hall, grabs the map and then goes back into the lab.

INT, OIL RIG, LAB, DAY

GUS sets the map down on the counter and SHAWN places the transparency over top. He matches the coastline on both pieces. The transparency shows they are drilling on a fault line, not where they say on the “official” map.

SHAWN:
That's what Renaud meant when he said they were doing something unsafe. They're not drilling where they say they're drilling.

GUS:
They're drilling directly on a fault line.

SHAWN and GUS start to leave when ASHLEY enters.

ASHLEY:
This is a private lab. What are you two doing in here?

SHAWN:
Dude, I got this. Ashley, the truth is that I'm a psychic. A damn good one, I've been told. I am sensing that there is stuff going on that will be hard for you to hear. (puts his hands on her arms) Very hard. (feels her arms) Very, very hard. Damn, girl, you are so lean. What, do you spin?

GUS:
Shawn, I thought you said you got this.

SHAWN:
Sorry. I'm... I'm seeing faults. Faulty something. Faulty intelligence. Faulty wiring. Fawlty Towers.

GUS:
Shawn.

SHAWN:
Fault. Your father is drilling into a fault line.

ASHLEY:
What?

SHAWN:
Yeah, he made a fake map with the help of Dr. Dre. No, uh, Dr. Pepper, no! Dr. No… Dr. Renaud. Renaud!

ASHLEY:
Our geologist.

SHAWN:
That's right. There's more. Unfortunately, I think your father may be responsible for the deaths of Dr. Renaud and Hicks. I think he's trying to cover his tracks.

ASHLEY:
I'm... I'm sorry. I can't believe that Dad would do that. I mean, he's always been a risk-taker, willing to gamble everything if he thought there was oil to be found. But I can't believe that he would do this. I feel sick.

SHAWN:
It's okay. We're gonna get through this together. Probably over dinner. I was thinking tapas, but I could be talked into Greek…

GUS:
Shawn!

ASHLEY:
We need to stop drilling immediately.

SHAWN:
Right. And as far as dinner goes, let's just put a pin in it.

ASHLEY puts a hand to his face in a light caress before turning away. SHAWN smiles.

ASHLEY:
The communications room is down the hall. We'll radio up to the floor and tell them to suspend operations.

They leave the lab.

INT. OIL RIG, ROOM, DAY

ASHLEY opens the door to a dark room.

ASHLEY:
The light is on the opposite wall. I'll turn on the radio.

GUS heads deeper into the room.

SHAWN:
I know it isn't easy, hearing that your father isn't who you thought he was. (walks into the room) But you're doing the right thing.

GUS turns on the light to reveal they are in a supply closet.

GUS:
This is the radio room?

ASHLEY pulls a gun on them. They put their hands up.

SHAWN:
Ashley! Sweetie pop! (laughs nervously) Come on now.

ASHLEY:
You shouldn't have come back out here, Shawn. Now I'm gonna have to figure out a way to get rid of you.

ASHLEY leaves and locks the door behind her. SHAWN points at GUS a few times.

SHAWN:
I might have made a mistake. She fills those jeans out quite nicely, though.

GUS:
(sees sign on the door) Shawn, that sign says "toxic fumes". I am breathing in toxic fumes!

SHAWN:
Come on, dude. You think the company’s gonna expose employees to stuff that's really harmful?

GUS:
(gets into SHAWN’S face) Did you not see Silkwood, Shawn? They're gonna make me take a shower where they scrub my skin off!

EXT. OIL RIG, PLATFORM, DAY

ASHLEY hurries across the platform. VICK, BARBARA, LASSITER and JULIET arrive.

VICK:
Miss Bamford! Can we talk to you?

ASHLEY:
Um, can it wait? I'm really busy.

BARBARA:
No, no, no sorry, honey. It can't wait.

VICK:
See, we know that Hicks' death wasn't an accident, that he was murdered.

BARBARA:
It looks like we have solid alibis from everybody on the rig that night.

JULIET:
But the helicopter pilot who brought the workers out for their shift said there was an extra passenger who wasn't on the manifest.

VICK:
That passenger was you, Miss Bamford.

BARBARA:
Yeah. We're hoping you could clear this up for us. Why were you out there that night? And why didn't you want your name on the manifest?

ASHLEY:
Oh, well, that's simple. I was, um... You see, sometimes I like to make surprise visits.

The wind blows her jacket, revealing her gun.

LASSITER:
She's got a weapon! (moves to cover the women)

Everyone pulls their own weapons and chase her back inside.

VICK:
Halt!

INT. OIL RIG, HALL, DAY

ASHLEY runs down the stairs and fires back.

INT. OIL RIG, CLOSET, DAY

SHAWN and GUS hear the gunshots.

SHAWN:
(goes to the door) We gotta get outta here.

GUS:
Shawn, I think the rule is when you hear gunfire, you don't go towards it.

SHAWN:
(pounds on door) We're in here! We're in here! We're in here!

INT. OIL RIG, HALL, DAY

VICK and BARBARA come down the stairs, weapons drawn, cautiously searching.

INT. OIL RIG, CLOSET, DAY

SHAWN:
We're in here!

The door unlocks and opens. SHAWN and GUS take up defensive positions only to be relieved when LASSITER and JULIET enter.

SHAWN:
Oh, Jules, Lassie. Thank God. It's Ashley Bamford. She's armed.

LASSITER:
We know. We're in pursuit. (points emphatically) You two stay put. Do you understand?

GUS:
Got it.

SHAWN waits briefly for the detectives to leave before heading for the door.

GUS:
(stops him) What part of "stay put" is confusing to you?

SHAWN:
The “put” part. Stay put? I wasn't put in the first place, Gus. The expression is a complete disaster. Ooh, look!

SHAWN points behind GUS and when he turns to look, SHAWN runs out. With a grunt of frustration, GUS follows.

INT. OIL RIG, DAY

VICK and BARBARA have cornered ASHLEY in some sort of pump room with lots of pipes, valves and steam. Both parties are hiding behind pipes.

BARBARA:
What's her 20?

VICK:
On the left. 30 feet.

BARBARA:
No, it's more like 35 feet.

VICK:
Damn it, why do you always have to feel like you have to correct me?

BARBARA:
Was I correcting you? I didn't mean to correct...

VICK:
Yeah!

BARBARA:
I'm sorry.

ASHLEY fires, BARBARA ducks and VICK fires back. JULIET and LASSITER arrive, taking cover behind another set of pipes. SHAWN and GUS sneak in, ducking low.

GUS:
What the hell are you doing?

SHAWN:
I have a plan. It's called "Gus is a table".

There is more gunfire. SHAWN and GUS duck lower. One of the valves is hit, releasing more steam.

GUS:
I'm a what?

SHAWN:
It was our signature prank in the seventh grade. I know you remember this. "Gus is a table."

GUS:
Let me get thi...

More shots are exchanged. LASSITER and JULIET rush towards ASHLEY’S position as she reloads.

GUS:
Let me get this straight. You want me to sneak up behind her on all fours, so you can push her, and she'll fall over me?

SHAWN:
Exactly. I'll distract her while you get in position.

SHAWN moves around so he’s behind ASHLEY but still has cover.

SHAWN:
Ashley, hon?

ASHLEY:
(turns and aims) Shawn? Don't make me shoot you.

SHAWN:
(raises hands) It's okay. I just wanna talk. I'm putting my cards on the table. Right smack dab on the table!

Hiding, GUS shakes his head.

ASHLEY:
Doesn't matter. It's too late.

SHAWN:
Oh, no, no, no! No, no, no. It's not too late. (looks over at GUS) Gus is a table.

GUS:
Gus is a statue!

SHAWN:
You're a sellout!

ASHLEY:
What's going on? What are you talking about?

SHAWN:
(moves sideways) Nothing. Nothing, nothing. Nothing's going on.

ASHLEY:
Don't come any closer, Shawn.

BARBARA:
What is he doing?

VICK:
I have no idea.

JULIET:
Shawn, get out of there!

SHAWN:
Juliet, stay back. All of you, stay back. And stop shooting! Look, Ashley, I know what it feels like to have a dad that does not appreciate or respect you. Let me tell you what I see. I see a gorgeous young woman with a smart jacket, and an impressive education, and even more impressive arm muscle tone who desperately wanted to save her father's crumbling business. I know that's why you had Renaud make the fake map, so that nobody would know you were drilling into a dangerous fault line. And when Butch Hicks found out about it, you did what any good child would do in your place. You had no choice. You had to kill him.

The others make questioning faces as SHAWN talks.

ASHLEY:
I couldn't have let Hicks or anyone else get in the way. You understand that, don't you, Shawn?

SHAWN:
Of course I do. Are you kidding me? I completely understand. (walks up to her) What are you doing? (laughs) Give me that. Give me that gun. It's okay.

ASHLEY slowly hands over the gun. She looks ready to cry.

SHAWN:
Come here.

SHAWN opens his arms to hug her, but LASSITER runs out and tackles her. JULIET hurries over with her handcuffs. GUS stands by SHAWN.

LASSITER:
(whispers) Did Barbara see that?

VICK and BARBARA walk over. LASSITER gives BARBARA a cheesy grin.

VICK:
Well, I gotta say, Mr. Spencer, nice work.

SHAWN:
Thanks, Chief. No help to my table. No help to my table. (looks at GUS)

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are holding a large gift basket.

VICK:
This really isn't necessary. I already told you guys you're forgiven. In fact, I should be giving you gifts for bringing me and my sister back together.

SHAWN:
Chief, stop it. The only gift we'll ever need from you is your sweet, toothy smile.

GUS:
And any possible cases you might want to send our way.

SHAWN:
But mostly the toothy smile.

BARBARA:
(knocks on open door) Knock, knock, knock.

VICK:
Hey!

SHAWN:
Well, ahoy, Commander. Welcome aboard.

BARBARA salutes as she walks in.

GUS:
Thar she blows.

SHAWN:
All hands on deck.

BARBARA:
Okay, enough. The painfully cute mugging’s starting to get on my nerves.

GUS:
What are you, Entertainment Weekly?

BARBARA:
So, we still on for lunch, Kare?

VICK:
Absolutely.

BARBARA:
(giggles) This is kind of awkward, but I'm thinking of asking out Detective Lassiter. What do you think?

SHAWN and GUS moan and turn away.

VICK:
Oh! Um… You don't want to go there.

BARBARA:
Really? Why?

VICK:
It's just he's a little, um, wound up. And trust me, you'd be far better off pursuing somebody else. I'm doing you a favor.

SHAWN and GUS start going through the food in the basket.

BARBARA:
I get it. You want him for yourself.

VICK:
What? No. I'm married, Barb. And even if I weren't, I mean, Carlton? Oh! Oh, no. No, no.

SHAWN reaches for food but GUS slaps him away.

BARBARA:
(mimics) Ah, no, no, no.

VICK:
No!

BARBARA:
(laughs) Oh, you are so transparent.

VICK:
Transparent?

BARBARA:
You can't stand to see me with someone you're attracted to! All of a sudden too, by the way.

VICK:
All of a... Transparent? Yeah, fine, you know what? Ask out Lassiter.

BARBARA:
I will!

VICK:
Go ahead!

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

LASSITER walks by the office just as BARBARA steps out.

BARBARA:
You, me, lunch. (she points)

LASSITER:
(turns and follows) Aye, aye!

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN, GUS and VICK watch as LASSITER hurries after BARBARA. VICK can’t seem to believe it.

SHAWN:
So I take it the sibling rivalry is back on?

VICK:
Oh, it's on. And I am so winning.

As VICK walks away, SHAWN reaches again for the snacks GUS is holding. GUS slaps him again.

SHAWN:
Ouch! You have a problem.