(no subject)
I just finished Nick Carter’s “Facing The Music And Living To Talk About It”.
Under the cut are my thoughts because it is pretty long…I might add more later as I go on.
2/5/14
Lord, did you send me to that video interview of Nick Carter on Dr. Phil’s show for a reason? So that I could get his book?
Lord, I read the first chapter and realized: I need to get out. I need to leave. I need to do what I want for once and not what others want me to. I need to learn to stand up for myself.
Lord, thank you. Thank you so much for sending me there. For being with me through everything. For never giving up on me.
I pray I do what I want for once. That I finally get the courage to actually go do what I want to.
To forget about my financial wows. To lean on you for everything. To encourage myself, not discourage myself. To know that my family loves me and I love them but it can be bad for me, for all of us to stay around each other.
To forgive myself and forgive them. To not be crying over everything. To stop with this victim blaming and know that we all deserve better that I deserve better.
Please Lord, help me. Please. I can’t do it without you. I can try but I can’t do my absolute best without you.
2/19/14
I decided to start it again tonight and I finished it. I needed this. I needed to read the book. It might not be for everyone but it certainly opened my eyes.
I have my own problems, my own feelings. I need to take a step or two or a million back and start over. To try and figure out what I’m doing, without hurting myself in the process.
I am hurting myself though. I’m hurting myself by staying in an environment that is hurtful to me. I know it’s hurtful, I know it’s bad but I still stay here.
I need to go, to move on. I need things to do that but most of all I need the confidence, in myself, in the fact that I can do it, to go on.
Nick’s book…I don’t have enough words to say how it made me feel. How it is making me open, actually open my eyes again. I had them open but then I shut them.
I needed to have them open, to be forcefully shown stuff. I hope that I can now do what I need to do.
It’ll take time. I know it’ll take time. I need to have the patience and the strength. I need it. I need you Lord, I need you.
I know what I need to do. Now all I have to do is do it.
Read the book. It isn’t for everyone as I said earlier but it might, it just might help someone else. At least pick it up and skim it if that will do it for you.
Then…then do what needs to be done. Don’t hold back. Don’t say you can’t do it. Make goals, plans (I need to) and do the stuff.
We can all do what we want/need/wish to do. We just need to push ourselves to do it.
Sent this tweet to Nick and BSB: http://airasilver.tumblr.com/post/77231441040