Stripped Skin
Fandom: Star Trek XI.
Summary: The color in her gaze is honesty, and even though her arms are a barrier between him and his daughter, and even though she's ripping his heart out, Leonard can't help but notice how beautiful she is.
Rating: PG
Genre: Heartbreak
Pairing: McCoy/Jocelyn
Length: 801 words.
Note: This is a little bit of a different take on Jocelyn and Leonard's relationship. I generally wave the 'Joce is bitch,' flag, but I figure there must have been some reason he married her, and maybe, maybe there's a lot more to McCoy's anger than he lets on. It's just a little idea that's been tinkering around in my head. Unbeta-d, as per the usual, done in ~20 minutes, give or take.
He's not ready for it when it happens.
There's supposed to be some sort of flashing sign, saying 'This isn't working,' or at least a million rows, but the words, 'I can't do this anymore Len,' come out of nowhere, come out of chapped lips and a mouth that's trembling even as his wife holds JoJo fiercely in her arms.
His baby doesn't know what's happening - just looks at him. She doesn't understand that her mommy and daddy won't be seeing each other any more, just like she hadn't understood when 3 months earlier he'd told her (sober and wrecked, because he swears to god he'll never be less than pristine alcohol wise around his angel) that her grandpa wouldn't be coming home again. She's so precious and wonderful and - Leonard feels his body fall back into the balustrade behind him in slow motion, fingers curling around polished wood -she's got Jocelyn's eyes.
His wife, his fucking 'death-do-we-part,' wife is crying, and she can't meet his eyes. He wants to be angry, he wants to yell at her and ask her why she thinks its fair that she takes the last thing that's good in his life out of it. He wants to snatch Joey out of her arms so he can put her between them and make them a family again. The ticking of a clock that's more for show than actual function provides a back-beat for the rickety thu-thump of his heart (the heart that's still goddamn beating like it doesn't know when to stop) and the slick slide of his hand against the railing. The heave of his tendons keeps him upright and steady, because that's what Doctors are, even if they don't deserve to still be standing, and even if their wives are twisting the ring on their finger as they open their mouths again.
"I'm sorry," She says, choking a little, "I'm so-."
"Don't," Leonard manages to force out of his lips, studying the soft curl of Joanna's hair and the studious way she's sucking her thumb - like it'll boost her up with her anti-virus meds.
That's his girl.
"I-," Jocelyn looks up, brown eyes shining as she finally gives him what he's looking for. The sentence gets cut out of McCoy's mouth before he even begins, it, twisting around in his gut and sitting heavy. The color in her gaze is honesty, and even though her arms are a barrier between him and his daughter, and even though she's ripping his heart out, Leonard can't help but notice how beautiful she is. She's the woman he married, bar the heavy purple half circles under her eyes, bar the way her fingers shake, bar the way she's lost more weight than he knows in the last couple of months;
Bar all the shit he's put her through that he's only noticing now.
"I'm taking Joanna," The paint's peeling off the walls, and he'd sworn he'd fix that 6 months ago -just never gotten around to it. The call of bourbon and later, later, latest nights on shift took his time and ate it greedily, snatching up the bones of whatever he used to be. What is he supposed to say?
Warm Georgian air infiltrates the living room and ruffles the curtains, playing pretend hide and seek with them; it's a perfect night, the light's a warm glow and it just doesn't feel like it's any different. It doesn't feel like this is supposed to happen right now. He'd promised, she'd promised, they'd made their vows and -Joanna. He can't even think.
"I hope you'll understand one day," Joce wipes her nose on her sleeve, ignoring Joanna's curious look. She picks up a suitcase that he should have noticed earlier with her other hand, and places her ring on the bottom step, next to papers that he'd assumed were bills.
"I hope you'll understand."
The sterile smell of the hospital seeps through his nose, mixed with the light plum smell of her perfume, and Leonard doesn't even hear her reasoning, the sound of his own back hitting the side of the stairs, too overwhelming as his body gives out and catches the ground. Paper flutters everywhere as he realizes what this really means, what the last couple of words coming out of her mouth really add up to. This is a divorce.
"Joce-," Leonard reaches out, fingertips hovering an inch away from her face. For the first time that he's ever known, she steps back.
"I don't-,"
"I'm sorry," She blinks, JoJo's fingers reaching out as she turns away, as she tells him this is the end without telling him, as Jocelyn McCoy walks away from him, taking everything with her.
And he's not ready for it when it happens, but it still happens.