Comments | jttttttt: Dilemma

jttttttt

Dilemma

Apr 25, 2005 00:28

Ok,so I have a dilemma. My boyfriend's ex-wife is coming to town next weekend and I don't know that I want to meet her. They were together for 7 years and we've only been dating for 4 months. Is it acceptable for me to be too "busy" to meet her? Maybe I should take an emergency trip out of town? The very thought makes me want to vomit from anxiety ( Read more... )

Comments 4

Wanting to vomit from anxiety spk1121 April 26 2005, 02:48:51 UTC

Personally, I don't blame you one bit. Meeting his family at this point would be nerve-racking enough, let alone an ex! Not just an ex-girlfriend, but the ex-wife! I'm glad they still get along, but I can't imagine that would anything but awkward for you. Maybe if you had been going out for a year or so, you might be interested in knowing more about his other relationships. As it is, you're just getting to know him!

I guess I would address the situation depending on your comfort level with Terence. If you feel like you can be straightforward with him and tell him the thought of meeting the ex makes you extremely anxious, I would do that and hope he respects your feelings. If you think that might cause more trouble than it's worth, make up some kind of excuse. Since I've never met him, I don't know what kind of guy he is and how he might react to such things. Hopefully, you have a fairly good idea by now of how he might be.

You see how this could be disturbing... And he says that all of his friends hate his ex-wife. ( ... )

Post-weekend squealnakedcatj May 12 2005, 20:21:00 UTC

I know I'm late to be commenting, so what was the outcome? I have to agree with SPK, that it's totally obviously awkward for you. Did you end up meeting her? What is curious to me is how long was he divorced from his wife before he got back into a relationship? I find it hard to understand how divorced people can "still be best friends." My parents are divorced and are polite to each other, but certainly far from friends. If you're not comfortable getting into this discussion with me, I will respect that too. Just curious and I care about you and want things to go well for you in your relationship =D

Re: Post-weekend jttttttt May 13 2005, 07:02:31 UTC

So I ended up semi-gracefully bowing out of the meeting. I was "busy". I did meet her just briefly from my car window. Just as I left work Sunday afternoon, I pulled up to a stoplight and who should be in the car next to me? My BF and his ex-wife. So we rolled down windows and made polite introductions. He told me to call him when I got home. I did and he asked me to come grill out just the 3 of us. So I said, no I have plans already with someone else. And that was that. They have been seperated for almost 5 years now. The divorce was finalized last summer. I have no idea how they stay just friends. Maybe because they got married for the wrong reasons. They had been together for 4 years and he came to her and said, my visa expires on Friday and then they went and got married on their lunch break. He explained to me that because they had experienced so much together it seemed natural that they should get married. But then I guess they started have relationship problems. They went to marriage counseling to try and make it work. He has ( ... )

Trust squealnakedcatj May 14 2005, 17:12:31 UTC

Thanks for being so open. I have never been in a similar relationship situation, but I feel very sympathetic to your role. I guess I'm curious, like SPK wondered, are you comfortbale enough to discuss with him directly your feelings of being uncomfortbable with Eva or with how he is still best friends with her and how it affects your own relationship - negatively ( ... )