It feels a bit rough grammar wise but I can't put my finger on why.(mostly because I suck at grammar)
Intriguing, but the back story would help.
Just out of curiosity why is the lycanthrope girl seducing the vampire to drink from her? What type of Lycanthrope is she? It might help cement the seduction in peoples heads. Lycanthropes in peoples subconscious being less passive and more aggressive.
It's not really a seduction scene. Hmmm, it's interesting that it read that way to you. (Of course, I understand there is no backstory for you to pull from for impressions)
Let's see, Charlotte (lycanthrope) is a were-spider. The character in the backseat with her is not a vampire. (sorry, no further detail, that is a HUGE plot point).
This snippet takes place directly before the final confrontation with the Big Bad, so her aggression stems from urgency.
There is no time to dick around when there is a howling pack of vampires on your trail. lol.
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Intriguing, but the back story would help.
Just out of curiosity why is the lycanthrope girl seducing the vampire to drink from her? What type of Lycanthrope is she? It might help cement the seduction in peoples heads. Lycanthropes in peoples subconscious being less passive and more aggressive.
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It's not really a seduction scene. Hmmm, it's interesting that it read that way to you. (Of course, I understand there is no backstory for you to pull from for impressions)
Let's see, Charlotte (lycanthrope) is a were-spider. The character in the backseat with her is not a vampire. (sorry, no further detail, that is a HUGE plot point).
This snippet takes place directly before the final confrontation with the Big Bad, so her aggression stems from urgency.
There is no time to dick around when there is a howling pack of vampires on your trail. lol.
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hanks for the compliment.
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