fic: eir's tomorrow (ff7) - ch.17

[jukeboxhound]

Eir's Tomorrow
Chapter 17

Author: jukeboxhound 
This part currently unbeta'd while artimusdin  takes care of other things.

FF7 || R || Sephiroth/Cloud || chapter: 7,200 words
The Planet isn't willing to let death take away its greatest weapon. If Cloud can't save the past, then he'll be damned to watch history repeat itself.



17.
After the dust settled, the world was quiet.

…

"How the fuck did we get dragged into this, yo," Reno muttered after he hung up on the phone. "Who did we assassinate in a past life?"

"Your mother," Rude deadpanned.

Reno snorted as he tapped his electromag against his shoulder. "Rufus is dead," he said bluntly. "Just about everyone except Scarlet and Reeve, yo. Reeve said that Scarlet managed to rig up a broadcasting tower to replace the ones that got destroyed."

Where was Tseng when you needed the bastard? When Rufus had sent him and Rude out to the slums with the SOLDIERs on a 'diplomacy' mission, he hadn't expected to be the one participating in the diplomacy. Reno wasn't made for this shit, he was all about the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, get out as soon as possible once the business was done. And hey, he knew better than to take shit like kidnapping and interrogation personally, but he wouldn't be inclined to say 'no' to putting a fist in the Crescent commander's face.

Unfortunately he'd never get the chance to tell Rufus exactly how fucking stupid he was for sending Reno on this particular mission, and Reno was very carefully not thinking about that too hard. Rufus had always seemed larger than life, almost freakin' immortal on some level, and yeah, not thinking about it.

"Time to face the music, partner," he sighed, and walked back over to the group of people standing in one of the emergency shelters. He landed himself in the middle of an argument, same one that'd been going on for years. Same song, different verse.

You slant-eyed sons of bitches, the Midgarians would snarl.

Is that all you have to say - why don't you ever take responsibility for the imperialism of your government, the Wutaians would demand.

We were already struggling to survive before you refugees got here - we were just as much beaten down by a dictator and his armies, the Midgarians would cry.

And the Wutaians would hiss, How could you let it get to this point?

"Yo, people!" Reno shouted. "Get your shit together, this ain't the time to be hashing this out!"

"What would a Turk know?" someone demanded, and really, Reno had had a long fucking day.

"Fine, y'all stand here spitting names at each other, see if I give a fuck. Or you can remember that the fucking Plate just destroyed Sector Seven, killed a shitload of people, and if you don't get your asses in gear then we're gonna run into some real problems. For starters, I hear having dead people lying around in your backyard ain't exactly good for your kids' health."

…

It was early in the morning of their fourth day in Wutai. Aeris settled herself cross-legged on the bed with a reassuring smile at Cloud, who had wrapped his arms around his legs defensively and was watching her carefully. He'd woken up again just a few hours after Zack had been dragged away from his side, though it had taken all of Aeris' persuasion to make the SOLDIER leave. Someone needs to be there when Sephiroth starts going through Hojo's information, she'd told him gently. I'll see if there's anything I can do for Cloud, even though she'd failed to help Genesis and couldn't do anything for Angeal or even Sephiroth.

So Aeris mustered up all of her stubbornness and now sat at the foot of the bed, Cloud still wrapped tightly in a sheet, her hands safely in her lap.

"I was talking with Zack," she said lightly. "He said you didn't like anyone else touching you, so I won't unless you want me to, all right? I won't pretend to know what's going on, Cloud. I don't think I'm a very good Ancient. But still…we're all here for you when you're ready."

He was watching her sidelong through his bangs, glancing between her face and open hands. Aeris closed her eyes, tilted her head slightly to catch the vague whispers that were always waiting for someone to listen.

WEAPON, said the Planet, and Aeris was really starting to get sick of that damn word, but she turned her face towards the presence immediately in front of her. At first she was afraid she was going to find that horrible nothingness that had been Cloud's mind in Nibelheim, but instead she heard something deep and quiet like the low rumble of thunder.

Fear, Aeris recognized, an emotion that sounded staccato and tasted sour in the back of her throat. And it was deep, like the gnarled roots of a tree, and decades old, so old that the original causes of it were long gone. Alongside that was the presence of the Planet, and the way she could hear its influence inside of Cloud was frightening. No human was meant to be so close to the Lifestream, not when it had a tendency to wear away at a person's sense of self.

"The Planet was trying to make you into something inhuman, wasn't it?" she whispered. Cloud shifted, his eyes now flickering between the far wall and the materia tied into her hair ribbon.

Slowly, Aeris held out her hands with the palms up and her fingers relaxed into natural curves. She was wearing the soft red yukata with the cherry blossom print again, trying to make herself appear as unthreatening as possible. Perhaps it worked because, although Cloud was closely watching her every move, he didn't flinch.

"You know, I was thinking about the things a few people say about you and Sephiroth. I've heard them say that you two aren't anything more than acquaintances, like superior officer to a cadet, and Elena's pretty convinced you two are meant to be together. Zack's got so many theories I think his head's going to explode. But has anyone actually asked you, Cloud? What do you want?"

She waited as he finally met her gaze, appeared startlingly self-aware as though a switch had been flipped in his head.

"I don't…know," he said slowly and carefully, testing out the syllables as they passed his lips.

"Is there anything you know you don't want?"

The lights in the room flickered. His eyes widened and suddenly the fear doubled, tripled, until Aeris tasted real bile in the back of her throat. Gagging slightly, she managed, "It's okay, Cloud, you don't have to answer. You don't even have to think about it. I can tell you about my flowers instead, if you want." She cast about for something to say. "Sometimes I'm glad Midgar is pretty temperate, otherwise it'd be too cold now for them to bloom. The insides of their petals are almost as yellow as your hair, but don't tell Zack I said that, he'd make fun of us both and he doesn't need any more excuses for that."

She was able to swallow the bile in her throat, the terror no longer so overwhelming. Cloud slowly uncurled, shifted forward a little, watched her face from the corner of his eye as she talked about whatever came into her head, and hey, remember that day they all made apple pie? Elmyra thought he was a darling, of course, and Zack had managed to get the sticky mix of sugar and beaten eggs streaked in Cloud's hair.

"I totally didn't do that," Zack interrupted from the doorway. "You telling lies about me, babe?"

"Hardly lies, you giant child," she said with a grin as Sephiroth appeared behind Zack's shoulder. Both of their faces were drawn, Sephiroth's body visibly tense, but at least he'd put away his wing and the Masamune remained in the temporary sword rack on the wall.

Zack sat on the edge of the bed beside Aeris. Sephiroth hovered indecisively before leaning up against the wall, arms crossed, and all three were looking at Cloud. He had his face turned down and was picking at the sheet restlessly.

"We've decided that Sephiroth should stay here with Cloud," Zack said quietly to Aeris. "I'm going to go with the Highwind back to Midgar and hopefully convince Angeal to come. If there's a WEAPON going on a rampage, there aren't many people who can stop it."

When she didn't respond, he continued, "Aeris, will you stay here with Sephiroth and Cloud?"

"I don't know if I can help," she admitted softly, looking down at her hands twisting in her lap. "I couldn't help Genesis, and. I don't know."

Zack reached over and put his hand on hers. "Babe, not even Hojo or Hollander knew how to fix him. It was a shot in the dark, that's all. But this, now, this isn't like that."

"He's right. Genesis' own genetics were working against him. That isn't the case with Cloud." Sephiroth's voice was rather flat, distracted. His gaze kept returning to Cloud and Aeris wasn't sure she'd be able to understand everything in that expression if she had a lifetime to do it.

"Will you try?" said Zack.

"Don't be silly, of course I will." She slipped a hand out from under his and lightly smacked him on the shoulder. "But I didn't want you to get your hopes up too high."

"Aeris, babe, you pretty much exceed all my expectations."

Cloud, meanwhile, knew that the other three were in the room with him. He could sense them, he could feel their warmth from halfway across the room and hear their breath and the beating of their hearts, more familiar than his own body. There was a memory tugging at him, are they worth it, but the question had become as nonsensical as wondering if there was such a thing as fate.

But the soul-deep sense of rightness that came from having them nearby warred with the instinct of his body to either lash out or crawl away. His body felt like a too-small prison with bars made of fear and violation, so although he could look out at them and know them he was still bound by the uncontrollable reflexes of fight-or-flight. When Zack reached out to him he was torn between craving that touch and abhorring it, unable to help remembering the tools that had ripped him open, or hands streaked with blood and rain on a clifftop. No such thing as choice. When Aeris spoke, he could only hear the Planet and know that he was as much a puppet now as he'd been under Jenova-Sephiroth. Can't fight fate. And when Sephiroth looked at him with visible pain and guilt, Cloud looked inside himself and saw someone too twisted up to be a person in any sense of the word.

He was disconnected from reality, out of his mind and probably everything else too, as though he were back and bodiless in the Lifestream while the Planet reshaped him. He was in his mother's fantastic, unrealistic stories, he was in a mako tank while Zack talked and talked to keep him from fading away, he was watching himself follow Jenova-Sephiroth around the world like a dog on a leash.

WEAPON. The word sounded strange coming out Zack's mouth, wasn't something that Zack should ever have to face. Cloud pressed his face against the bars trapping him in his head and managed a faint, "Zack."

Immediately their voices went silent. It was jarring. Nearly made him panic because that kind of suddenness only happened when someone passed out from agony, and for a moment he forgot what he'd meant to do. But then he remembered that fucking word.

"The WEAPON, you can't. No." He shook his head. Kept getting distracted by all the green-tainted voices, and possibly also the stars singing around the Planet, and the syllables, they kept skittering out of his reach like insects. "Too big, too…powerful. Need another one."

"Another what, Cloud?" Aeris asked gently when he stopped, but he was busy tracing one of the mostly-healed scars on the inside of his left forearm. It was where the tendons had been severed and then reconnected differently to see how his motor skills changed, the mako managing to seal hard tissue that didn't normally heal well.

Zack said, "Cloud," and he twitched. Replied, "Me."

There was silence again but he was expecting it this time, so it didn't really bother him. He sank a little further into the green voices and felt the heaviness of his body lighten, the lingering painful aches go distant.

Sephiroth inhaled sharply, grabbing Aeris and Zack's attention. He was watching Cloud lean forward again, hiding his face in his knees. "He means another WEAPON."

"…What, you're saying him?" Zack said incredulously. "Uh, Sephiroth, sir, I don't mean to point out the obvious, but he's like five and a half feet tall and a good breeze would probably knock him over at this point."

"No, it makes sense. The earthquakes, the sudden appearance of the Planet's guardians. Why Aeris thought he might've been a Cetra as well. I'm beginning to believe that this is what the Planet was intending him to be."

The intensity of Sephiroth's voice was making Zack uneasy. There was something still off about him and Zack couldn't wrap his head around the idea. Weird Lifestream reincarnations and a future that only happened for a single person, okay, he could accept that with a little time, but. This?

"I was able to kill the first WEAPON, but we don't know how strong each successive one will be. We don't even know how many there will be, and there are too few of us."

"You're suggesting we take Cloud to Midgar and throw him at one of these things?" Zack demanded, barely noticing Aeris laying a hand on his arm. "Have you seen him lately?"

Sephiroth's wing snapped out with a whip-like crack. Zack held his gaze, unwilling to back down, but then Cloud was sliding off the bed to his feet. He was shirtless, only wearing a pair of linen pants donated by the servants, and he padded unsteadily over to Sephiroth to slide his arms around the man's waist.

Sephiroth looked about as shocked as Zack felt. He stood there with his arms held out awkwardly to his sides, afraid to touch. Despite his face being pressed against Sephiroth's collarbones Cloud looked less like he was embracing and more just tilted against him, like a rolled-up carpet tipped against a wall, and a stressed-out Zack shouldn't be finding that as entertaining as he was.

"Zack, why don't you and I go talk outside," said Aeris, standing up and gently pulling Zack with her. He followed her wordlessly, leaving Sephiroth and Cloud leaning against the wall. The general looked down as best he could with spiky hair getting in his face.

"…Hmm."

"I can't see," Cloud mouthed into his skin. "I'm not. Not right, I can't."

It was painful to hear Cloud struggling for words, tripping over them like a blind man trying to find his way through a cluttered room. Sephiroth thought of the voices he'd heard before, was only just now fully realizing that they'd all come from Cloud himself, and then Cloud was lifting his head and putting a hand on the back of Sephiroth's neck to pull him down. He pressed their foreheads together, noses bumping lightly, and something cool like water was slipping up Sephiroth's spine. It seeped into his mind and blossomed into an orchestra of sound, each voice a different instrument and the Planet itself the low, droning conductor underneath it all. It made him feel simultaneously very small and yet a part of something much bigger, and it would be so easy to let go and drift in all those shades of green, to just…let go. Sephiroth wondered if Cloud had been hearing this the whole time or if Hojo (dear gods the things that had been on those discs, those papers) had broken something inside of him, but the thought was pushed away by

iamaweapon

protectzack cannotgoalone

except the words weren't poisoned, didn't feel like sin sliding through the tissue of Sephiroth's brain. On the one hand he had a very real, living body against his own, but on the other he was looking into mako eyes and hearing something too vast and ancient to be human. He didn't realize that his wing had disappeared again or that the stress in his shoulders had smoothed out, and he felt his body slowly loosening.

It made Sephiroth feel very small, but also…hopeful.

…

Vincent had once asked Cloud about the Wutaian Rebellion and Cloud had replied, puzzled, "What rebellion?"

So Vincent had thought about what might be different, what might've kept people oppressed in one timeline and what may have inspired them in another. It seemed a special brand of hubris to think his own presence might've meant so much. "It's amazing how the smallest things can make such a difference, isn't it?" Aeris had once said to him.

"I'm not a philosopher or anything. That was always Sephiroth's job," Cloud had said with a small smile that quickly faded. "I don't know why this happened. But does it really matter? I don't think we have to be 'fated' to do anything. Hojo would've left me for dead a long time ago if that was the case. And the Planet may have brought me back, but I'm doing this my own way, for my own reasons. Not because of fate."

Vincent felt like he stood on the edge of such a precipice. Hojo was dead. The labs were irrevocably destroyed. Every year he'd spent punishing himself in the crypt, every dream he'd had of vengeance, had culminated in him standing on the edge of what had once been a small mountain town that was now a second Mideel. Worse than that, because there was no living thing left, just mako and its acrid stench stretching across the valley.

Being naked, it was also rather cold.

It took him two days to follow the road through the mountains to Rocket Town, traveling mostly as the Galian Beast. On the second day he arrived, not long after dawn, he caused a bit of a stir being naked and looking like hell and thereby earning the cooing concern of practically every older woman in the place. By the time he managed to fight his way free of the smothering it was nearly evening, but the Inn owners were kind enough to let him borrow a PHS.

Reeve's line brought static, as did any other Midgar number. Cid finally answered.

"This had better be good," the pilot snarled down the connection, and for the first time since leaving Midgar a faint smile curved Vincent's lips.

"This is Vincent, Cid."

Swearing. Apparently he'd dropped his cigarette. "About fucking time! What the hell happened?"

"Hojo's dead," he said without thinking, then shook his head at himself. His voice was still rough from smoke. "I stayed long enough to make sure Zangan got Tifa out. I'm…not sure what happened after that." No doubt CHAOS had helped some of the destruction along. "As far as I know, the two of them are still alive. I'm in Rocket Town."

"Lucky bastard, we're way the fuck over in Wutai. I don't know what Reeve was thinking, there ain't no love lost between us and them and it's a damn miracle they haven't tried to slit our throats yet."

Wutai? Well, perhaps that wasn't so bad a choice, given the country was about as far from Midgar as one could go and that ShinRa's hold on it was still unstable. "I cannot get a hold of anyone in Midgar."

"Neither can we," Cid growled irritably. "We're flying blind over here."

"I'll see if there are any ships still leaving from Costa del Sol. I will contact you as soon as I'm able from Midgar."

"If you see him, tell Reeve he owes me a huge fucking ship overhaul. I'm getting too old for this shit."

It took another two days to get to Costa del Sol. Vincent crept onto the ship leaving soonest and all but passed out in the cargo hold, slept there in the dark and the chill until he heard the calls for Junon approaching long hours later. Surprised, he watched Junon's harbor approaching over the horizon and wondered how a ship bound for Midgar had ended up here.

Muscles practically petrified into rock, he managed to get onto the dock without falling over or being seen and crept into a dim alley. He took the moment to get his bearings and stretch out the stiffness.

It seemed all trains, ships, and other transports to Midgar had been shut down and the rumors were unbelievable. All those earthquakes, not just in Midgar, must've been the reason the Plate fell. No, there was an explosion, ShinRa was attacked. A WEAPON was killed just outside the city, no one knows how. Those monsters, those things, what are we going to do? Oh god, what if they come for us?

In the end Vincent paid a man with filched money to take him over the mountains to Midgar, wryly remembering a young boy named Maddox and telling him not to steal unless Vincent was unable to help him. The man was gruff but willing, and Vincent, less intimidating than usual in slacks and a shirt under his cloak, brooded in the passenger seat of the tumble-down truck. When they passed a heap of pearly-white armor hundreds of feet high the man refused to go any farther and left Vincent a few miles outside the city.

He stood in the dirt and stared at the fallen WEAPON. Looked at the small, battered human body crumpled at some distance before turning away.

The Sector 7 gates were unguarded and wide open and Vincent walked into eerie stillness. The sector had been utterly demolished, brightly lit by the sky revealed from a large section of the Plate crashing down. It was likely the first sunlight this place had seen since the city was founded. Broken and tilted concrete slabs turned it into a labyrinth of twisted steel and silence, the only saving grace that the reactor hadn't yet had a meltdown, and the crunching of bits of glass and metal, occasionally tainted with spots of blood, under Vincent's boots was inordinately loud. Nothing stirred the hot air.

The destruction continued through Sector Six to Sector Five, Aeris' church somehow still standing whole and pale in the sunlight, and it all finally petered out halfway through Sector Four, leaving a fair amount of Wall Market remaining between the earthquake-rattled buildings. It was in Sector Four that he found the first hospital tents, the supply lines ranging back to the nearest warehouses, the startling sight of SOLDIERs interspersed with Wutaians and Midgar natives, a hive of activity. Ducking back into the shadows, Vincent slipped past the dirtied and sometimes bloodied people through Sector Three and into Two, passing under the frayed strings of paper lanterns and shide towards the small shop tucked into the lowest floor of a dilapidated building.

"Yoshida-san?" he called, and was honestly surprised when she appeared from the back room. The lines on her face were deeper, her back a little more bowed, but her smile was still there.

"You have chosen a bad time to return, Vir-san."

"What happened?"

The old woman settled herself at her counter, on which several bowls and a mortar and pestle were laid out. She began picking through bundles of what appeared to be dried herbs. "There was a…I believe it is called a bomb? The Tower and much of the Plate collapsed. Many people have died, Wutaian and foreigner both. I do not have the strength to dig or carry, so I have been making what medicine and supplies I can."

"Who's been organizing everything?"

"Quan Shang Xiao has been commanding our warriors, and Wuzhou is highly respected by our people here. Though I have seen SOLDIERs and Turks, I know nothing about ShinRa."

Vincent flipped back through everything he remembered about what Cloud had told him over the years. He needed to determine which, if any, of the ShinRa department heads remained and pray that Reeve was one of them, and find out what he could about the WEAPONs.

"Strife, the boy you brought to me before. Where is he?"

Daring to be honest, Vincent told her, "Wutai," and her smile widened genuinely. She said, "Vir-san, I would like to ask a favor of you. Sometime soon, will you please bring to me a piece of this Daidarabocchi -likecreature? What ShinRa has called a WEAPON?"

He agreed but didn't ask why, and she handed him a PHS that she explained had been found next to a body. "We do not rob from the dead," she said sternly, "but the living are more important, and we know that you have been talking with more than just us refugees."

From anyone else that might've sounded like a threat, but her gaze was steady and he accepted the phone with only slight hesitation.

As soon as he was out of the shop and had found a concealed corner several stories up under the overhang of a roof, Vincent dialed Cloud's number. As expected, it was disconnected, and he called the Highwind.

"Hello?" answered someone who was decidedly not Cid. Vincent paused.

"…Zack?"

"Vincent?" There was a rush of static that sounded like someone letting out a loud, relieved sigh right into the mouthpiece. "Cid said you were in Rocket Town, where are you now?"

"Midgar. Listen to me, Zack. The WEAPON has been taken care of, but the Plate has fallen. That is why you haven't been able to contact anyone here - the radio towers were taken out. It looks like they were able to rig temporary ones, but the situation is…dire."

A string of curses that would've done Cid proud. "Holy crap," came the faint mutter. "Gods, Vincent, warn a guy before you drop something like this!"

Vincent looked out over the city as he patiently waited for Zack to calm down. From his vantage point it looked like only about half of the Plate had come down, including the Tower, and a faint haze of dust still hovered over the sectors.

"I'm going to look for the Turks," he said, when it sounded like Zack had started breathing normally again. "I'm hoping that they will have some information on the WEAPONs. If there was one in Mideel and one here - "

"Yeah, what the hell happened? How did they stop it?"

" - then it's entirely possible more will appear. Perhaps ShinRa figured out a way to defeat them."

"Well, nix that plan, then," Zack snorted. "We were just about to come after you guys, thought you were getting creamed by that hulking monster from the sea. So, what, hang out here and wait for you to call back with the coordinates of the next bad guy?"

"If you wish," Vincent replied mildly, cutting off Zack's squawk by flipping the phone closed, and took a moment to simply sit for the first time in weeks. He could see clear towards the mountain range in the south, casting long shadows from the setting sun.

…

Elmyra was warming a small bottle of fruit mash on a tiny camping stove when she heard a knock on her door. Shutting it off, she went to answer it, checking on the cradle in the living room as she passed through.

"Hello? Oh! Gods, Vincent, you scared me."

He blinked owlishly at her, and not for the first time she wondered how crazy she must be to let this creepy man in her home.

"I wished to check on you," he said solemnly. "I've only just returned a few hours ago."

"Where's Aeris?" she demanded, fear seizing her heart.

"She's fine. She's in Wutai with Zack and Cloud," and Elmyra couldn't help interrupting, "Wutai? What in the world is she doing there?"

"There were…difficulties, in Nibelheim. It was necessary for them to evacuate, and Wutai is the closest region to Nibelheim that ShinRa hasn't yet been able to strangle."

Denzel started to cry. Biting her lip, Elmyra whirled around and picked him up, holding him close as though she was the one needing a security blanket. "I shouldn't have let her go with you," she murmured. Vincent didn't reply. She juggled the baby lightly in her arms, turning his tears into surprised hiccups.

"How is Denzel?"

"Alive." It came out more snappish than she intended, so she hummed at Denzel instead. He wiggled in her hold like a floppy puppy. "He's been fine," she finally conceded, facing Vincent again. "Nothing was broken and the bruises have started to fade. I don't think he got any dust in his lungs, either, he hasn't had any problems breathing."

"Thank you," he said sincerely, and Elmyra pursed her lips. Her daughter's absence had made her cottage feel too large and cold, bare of the laughter or teasing that seemed to grow in Aeris' presence as easily as her flowers, and now she was on the other side of the world chasing ShinRa's messes and ShinRa's people and probably her own death, gods knew.

Denzel waved his chubby little arms, and she sighed.

"If my daughter doesn't come back, Vincent, I don't want to ever see you again."

"I understand."

…

It was only midmorning and Zack was ready to go to sleep, preferably for another month or two, except Cid probably wouldn't be happy to find him sprawled over the Highwind's upper deck like a rug. A well-timed ring from his PHS saved him the trouble of ending up on the wrong end of Cid's spear.

Vincent again. Crap. "Hello?"

"Zack."

"Should I be sitting down for this?"

"I imagine there isn't much I can tell you now to warrant that," Vincent said dryly, and flatly told him that the WEAPON now being called Diamond had been brought down in a suicide mission by a girl named Elfé. Name sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it. Probably sensing that Zack was having trouble finding a response, Vincent finished, "Bring Cloud back here. He is the only one with any idea of what's going on."

"Cloud's hurt," Zack snapped, "and if you think I'm gonna stand here and let you - "

"He is the best chance we have of surviving. Sephiroth took out one, Elfé another, but what about the next? And yes, Zack, there will be more. This is the Planet's greatest defense and it has been set into motion. We do not have enough people capable of succeeding, even if we could afford to send them all on suicide missions. We need someone who actually knows what he's doing before there are more disasters."

Only Sephiroth, Angeal, maybe Zack and Vincent (and apparently Cloud, somehow) had much hope of success in these battles, and yeah, they were really pretty screwed, weren't they? The Planet really is just a mean dick.

"Vincent, I don't think you understand. He's only been awake for like a day and he can hardly talk, can't even stand to be touched most of the time. Sephiroth and I were looking through the files that Elena managed to save and gods, I don't understand half of it but I don't need to in order to see that this isn't exactly something Cloud can just bounce back from."

"He's more resilient than you believe."

"He's also just a kid," Zack growled. "Er, man. Whatever. The point is that everyone's starting to expect stuff from him and not only is it unrealistic, given his condition, but also totally unfair."

Vincent was quiet for a long breath, then went off on a totally different tangent. "Reeve has taken control of what remains of ShinRa. Rufus and Palmer are both dead, Heidegger unknown. Scarlet is the one who rigged the temporary radio until we can afford to spare men to rebuild them."

"What's being done with the people?"

Vincent told him about the remaining SOLDIERs and the Turks being ordered to help both the refugees and natives as best they could. The death count wasn't finished and hardly anyone had escaped without casualties, but for now people were alive and occupied. On a sudden thought Zack asked about Elmyra, muttered oh thank the gods when he was told that she was fine, just fine, if a little shaken. Also, odd tremors were being picked up from the western continent, somewhere near the Gold Saucer.

"Shit," said Zack, and hung up, because he thought that after Nibelheim he'd had an ally in Vincent.

The crews of the Highwind and the hangar itself were too busy to pay him much mind as he left, hands in pockets, a stone in his belly, and the unfamiliar lightness on his back from having to leave the Buster in his guest quarters. He found Aeris in one of the palace courtyards, a square garden surrounded on all sides by a covered walkway and partially shadowed by the evenly spaced rise of towers, and she was gesturing oddly with two Wutaian women and a man. Fenrir sat at her side with his ears perked up. Zack pretended to be fascinated by a small rock garden in the middle of a patch of tall white flowers until the Wutaians eventually left.

"It's amazing, Zack," said Aeris, looking up at him with a free smile that made her eyes so green. "I mean, I'm not a proper Ancient, not really, but these people know so much that we've never even heard of."

"'Not a proper Ancient'?" Zack repeated blankly. "What're you talking about?"

Aeris looked down at Fenrir, who was watching them and lazily wagging his tail in the dirt, and scratched his ears. "If my mum - my real mum, I mean, Ifalna - had lived, she would've been able to teach me so much. I've had to make it all up as I go. But!" She brightened, sunlight reappearing from behind dark clouds, but said seriously enough, "Xi Feng was explaining to me some things that might help. All the Wutaians know what's going on to some extent, and even though there isn't enough time for her to really teach me, I'm sure I understand the basics well enough."

"Uh, basics of what?"

"I'm not really sure how to explain," she said ruefully, "but I think we should trust Cloud. This is just as much his fight as anyone else's, if not more so, and if we don't win then it's not going to matter much in the long run, is it?

Zack bit his lip and absently stroked Fenrir's head.

…

It was…strange, it was strange to be. Outside one's own head. Surrounded by the sense of another. Sephiroth wasn't sure why it seemed Cloud couldn't keep himself to himself, wasn't like he'd ever had much of a problem with Genesis and Angeal save during the occasional burst of adrenaline on a battlefield. He wondered if it had anything to do with Jenova. He wondered if Cloud had gotten lost in the Lifestream like the victims of mako sickness.

(He thought it might have something to do with Jenova.)

Cloud allowed himself to be guided back to the bed, lay down with little prompting, but wouldn't let go of Sephiroth's waist. The general ended up in an awkward sprawl with his feet on the floor and his body twisted over Cloud's.

"Cloud," he started, but the blond moved a hand up to Sephiroth's face, thumb resting along the arch of a cheekbone.

I don't know what's real anymore.

The words rang clear and sharp like bits of strung glass, none of that frantic, slurred confusion. They reflected two realities and for a moment Sephiroth couldn't remember if he was trying to ruin the world or was just a man. Couldn't remember if Cloud was the almost-SOLDIER that saw the end of the world or was just a desperate man. And he realized this, this whole reincarnation business wasn't a matter of simply turning left when he'd once turned right but rather a mass of uncertainty that hopefully, dear gods hopefully, didn't end the same way. No single right answer and gods, gods, what if he fucked it up, what if 'choice' was just a delusion and it would all happen again, over and over and over.

Breathe, Cloud. Just breathe.

Seven years old and Cloud had been nearly blinded by the Planet's rage about the SOLDIER Firsts, and what if this wasn't the first time the Planet had brought Cloud back? What if it had changed his memories to make him think he was human, what if he was just an empty vessel that it used? And now Hojo, it'd all happened before, the needles and the mako and the knives hadn't changed -

I don't know what's real anymore.

Who am I?

Seven years old and Sephiroth wasn't sure if Professor Gast was being slowly poisoned by the amount of mako handled in the labs or if he was simply insane. He talked about things like friendship and faith and love, looking at Sephiroth the whole time as though he were expecting some kind of reaction and always disappointed (heartbroken) when the boy just stared back. Every few days Sephiroth would either be flat on the steel tables or in one of the mako showers, and in between those moments Gast would sound like he was trying to find something human in the boy.

who am i

And gods, Sephiroth was the last person to talk to during an existential crisis. But he pressed his hand over Cloud's, leaned into the warmth a little and said hoarsely, "Whatever you think, Cloud, this is the reality you live in now, this is the one that matters. We're still alive and we have a choice, and even if the Planet has been toying with you it doesn't mean you cannot use it to your advantage."

tiredscaredlost

"I imagine this is the part where Zack would say, 'Welcome to the club.'"

Cloud shifted restlessly on the bed and tried to pull his hand away, but Sephiroth wouldn't let him go. Cloud was starting to fall apart again, the stream of consciousness that sounded like a constant susurrus in Sephiroth's head fading to a low, indistinct hum. It would be so easy to let himself get dragged into it, to follow the old pathways scarred into his genes by Jenova and let himself become the unquestioning tool of the Planet. Clear, predetermined purpose. No confusion.

Stop it, Cloud. Stay here.

Sephiroth leaned forward until his face was pressed against the curve of Cloud's neck, his hair sliding over his shoulders and coiling on the sheets. Cloud tangled his fingers in it, turned his head slightly to whisper into Sephiroth's ear, "West."

"What is in the west?" he asked, lips moving against Cloud's skin. Many of the bruises were already gone.

"WEAPON."

We already know about the one heading towards Midgar, it's probably already there, he started to say, but Cloud interrupted, , added zirconaide and chaos.

Then the one, Diamond, at Midgar -

zirconiade the one who will burn the world

both have been destroyed, Sephiroth saw, his own thoughts starting to sound more like Cloud's, diamond and zirconaide are destroyed

only three more

needtoprotect idon'tknowwhatelsetodo

Sephiroth's body had slowly relaxed without his noticing, pinning down Cloud, who just wound his hands more tightly into his long hair. If he could, Sephiroth would keep sinking down, burrow his way under Cloud's skin and carve out a place for himself until they were a single creature. Reunion, murmured an insidious voice, but no, it wasn't like that, it was different. Couldn't explain it but it was.

"Uh, did I miss something?" came Zack's voice - somewhere to the side, must've just walked in the door. Wasn't like Sephiroth could see anything other than shadowed pale skin and blond hair, his face pressed against Cloud's neck like he was a little kid again. "You want us to come back later?"

"Don't be silly, Zack," said Aeris, and through Cloud Sephiroth could hear the vibrant tones of life coming from Zack and the softer, earthier sound of Aeris, "they're not having sex."

"Whoa, hey now."

It took a moment to remember how to speak, and then Sephiroth managed, "Diamond WEAPON has been destroyed."

"Yeah, just got a call from Vincent in Midgar - wait, how'd you know that?"

"There are three more WEAPONs," he continued as though the other man hadn't spoken. He was a little distracted by the way his breath was reflected back to him by the closeness of Cloud's skin. "One near Junon. One near the Gold Saucer. One…"

"Cloud can see it, can't he," said Aeris quietly. Zack made an odd noise in the back of his throat and it reminded Sephiroth of Professor Gast, who'd never stopped fighting for him.

"Junon first."

There were measured footsteps, a presence standing over them at the side of the bed. Zack said, "Cloud? I want to know if this is what you want. Can you tell me that, kiddo?"

There was a complicated burst of thought in Sephiroth's temples and he couldn't help laughing, less actual sound than quick exhalations of breath. is there really a choice and suddenly everyone wants to know what i think and, in a suddenly clear voice, I want world peace and a go at the chocobo races again.

"What?" Zack demanded, but Sephiroth wasn't sure how to explain what he found so funny, and Aeris rescued him. "If we leave by tonight, we could be in Midgar in the morning."

Cloud's fingers tightened in Sephiroth's hair.

let's mosey

…

Cid wasn't very happy with this decision. A ride from Point A to Point B, fine. But traipsing all over the world after huge monsters that wanted to destroy mankind? Yeah, fuck that shit.

"You," he growled, gesturing at Sephiroth with his cigarette, "promised me a fucking makeover for my ship. All I've gotten is more grey goddamn hairs because of all the shit you attract."

"We promised, we'll deliver," said Zack, words light but tone sincere.

Aeris, Zack, Angeal, and a fucking wolf stayed on the upper deck while Sephiroth and Cloud disappeared down below. Cid caught sight of Cloud swaying slightly as he walked, wrapped in what looked like Vincent's cloak.

"The hell is up with those two?"

"I'm not sure even I understand," said Zack wryly. Aeris just smiled, but Angeal was staring out past the ship guardrails, expression distant.

chapter 16 || main post || chapter 18