(no subject)
oh hai internets! LJ tells me I last updated 17 weeks ago. Oops.
I do not have much to add. :( The good job I was in for three months has been extended twice more, and it runs out in a couple of weeks but I have applied for a permanent role that has opened up. It's been crazy crazy crazy there but in a really good way, and if I get the job I'll be really, really, really happy.
I'm in a sort of a contemplatey mode re: life in general, but the contemplation is kind of suspended over this canyon of not knowing where I'll be working in a month. If I am back to my awful old job, well, I'll be living an awful life and needing to focus all my energy on getting a non-awful job and a non-awful life. But if I'm in this permanent job, that sorts a huge piece of my life that has not been quite right for over a year now. And then I can go, hmm, what next? And that's what I'm contemplatey over: with my fingers crossed that I get this job, I can think about what else I can focus on.
Every now and then when I'm in a contemplatey mode, I read a blog that I'm unwilling to name because the author is such a tool. But he can be a thought-provoking tool, and he provoked my thoughts with a post called Tolerance is Resistance to Love, which I would personally phrase as something more like, "Tolerance is a barrier to satisfaction." And I had a lightbulb go off in my head about something: I love where I live, but I don't particularly like my bedroom, and that's been subtly driving me batshit. I've been tolerating a couple of things I don't like about it, because moving was not something I would contemplate: I have a great place in a great location at a great price, and moving because I don't like the curtain rail in my bedroom would just be ridiculous. But I'm starting to think some of my demi-malaise is because, basically, the most important room in my life is just not working for me. The light's not right, the layout's not right, the airflow's not right... on some level it's not a place where I can ever feel like everything's right with my world. So with this lightbulb about tolerance on, I'm contemplating what I could do to make it right, up to and including moving. If I can do something about that, I think, I'll have a place from which to contemplate everything else that needs contemplating.
I should be doing work today. Well, I should not be doing work today, because it's a Saturday, but there's a handful of things at work that if I just went in today and did them I would be much happier and more productive next week. But I think I have decided against it. I've had a very very very shitty and stressful few weeks and I can have a slack weekend this weekend, a slack week next week, and maybe contemplate doing those things next weekend, if I still haven't done them. And so instead I intend to have a weekend of shopping and reading, which is much more happiness-inducing. :)
I do not have much to add. :( The good job I was in for three months has been extended twice more, and it runs out in a couple of weeks but I have applied for a permanent role that has opened up. It's been crazy crazy crazy there but in a really good way, and if I get the job I'll be really, really, really happy.
I'm in a sort of a contemplatey mode re: life in general, but the contemplation is kind of suspended over this canyon of not knowing where I'll be working in a month. If I am back to my awful old job, well, I'll be living an awful life and needing to focus all my energy on getting a non-awful job and a non-awful life. But if I'm in this permanent job, that sorts a huge piece of my life that has not been quite right for over a year now. And then I can go, hmm, what next? And that's what I'm contemplatey over: with my fingers crossed that I get this job, I can think about what else I can focus on.
Every now and then when I'm in a contemplatey mode, I read a blog that I'm unwilling to name because the author is such a tool. But he can be a thought-provoking tool, and he provoked my thoughts with a post called Tolerance is Resistance to Love, which I would personally phrase as something more like, "Tolerance is a barrier to satisfaction." And I had a lightbulb go off in my head about something: I love where I live, but I don't particularly like my bedroom, and that's been subtly driving me batshit. I've been tolerating a couple of things I don't like about it, because moving was not something I would contemplate: I have a great place in a great location at a great price, and moving because I don't like the curtain rail in my bedroom would just be ridiculous. But I'm starting to think some of my demi-malaise is because, basically, the most important room in my life is just not working for me. The light's not right, the layout's not right, the airflow's not right... on some level it's not a place where I can ever feel like everything's right with my world. So with this lightbulb about tolerance on, I'm contemplating what I could do to make it right, up to and including moving. If I can do something about that, I think, I'll have a place from which to contemplate everything else that needs contemplating.
I should be doing work today. Well, I should not be doing work today, because it's a Saturday, but there's a handful of things at work that if I just went in today and did them I would be much happier and more productive next week. But I think I have decided against it. I've had a very very very shitty and stressful few weeks and I can have a slack weekend this weekend, a slack week next week, and maybe contemplate doing those things next weekend, if I still haven't done them. And so instead I intend to have a weekend of shopping and reading, which is much more happiness-inducing. :)