Hey. I know it's hard. But even though it seems like you are trapped, you are not. One day it will all make sense; you are still trying to sort it all out. And you will. Just give it time, ok? Your past is part of you, and you cannot just "move on". The fact that you are still stuck thinking about the past is because you have to. You have to put it into perspective, into it's place in your life. When you do, then you can move ahead. Till then, just enjoy the good moments, and survive the bad. That's what I'm doing, only I'm way ahead of you looking back. After a while you will find yourself building new good memories in Chicago. And the past will recede leaving you free to build your new life. Hope the rest of your day is sweet. R.
thank you for your reply. it really made sense. actually, it is how i usually think ... although .. i am not taking my advice at the moment. you are right though. maybe it is not time for me to forget just yet ... just like a cold it has to run it's course .. no matter how horrible it gets .. it will always get better .. right? i know that things all happen for a reason ... and my past happened because it was supposed to happen that way. even though .. i feel like i am still in the stage of "why" and "why me". it is a part of me and it has made me into what i have become. ahhhhh ... i just needed to let this out. i know i will be okay, i just need to make it over this hump. thanks again!
Well, I'm at the Screenz up in Evanston...bought an all day internet pass. I'm going to sit here and really make a concerted effort to find a job in Chicago. I've decided not to take the one I just interviewed for...8 years on the midnight shift is more than enough for me. I want to live a "normal" life, or if I can't manage normal, at least be awake when everyone else is! Hope your day is as productive as mine. Rick.
random search.drfrainSeptember 4 2005, 21:18:29 UTC
hello - i stumbled across your journal on a random search...was wondering if i could add you as a friend? i don't live in chicago but have a lot of friends who do. cheers.
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actually, it is how i usually think ... although .. i am not taking my advice at the moment.
you are right though. maybe it is not time for me to forget just yet ... just like a cold it has to
run it's course .. no matter how horrible it gets .. it will always get better .. right?
i know that things all happen for a reason ... and my past happened because it was supposed to happen that way. even though .. i feel like i am still in the stage of "why" and "why me". it is a part of me and it has made me into what i have become. ahhhhh ... i just needed to let this out. i know i will be okay, i just need to make it over this hump. thanks again!
Reply
Well, I'm at the Screenz up in Evanston...bought an all day internet pass. I'm going to sit here and really make a concerted effort to find a job in Chicago. I've decided not to take the one I just interviewed for...8 years on the midnight shift is more than enough for me. I want to live a "normal" life, or if I can't manage normal, at least be awake when everyone else is! Hope your day is as productive as mine. Rick.
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