i know the feeling - being used by other people, it just feels too natural to even notice. 'vampire' is a good description as it relates to being powerless, being victimized trying to solve other people's problems. it's never good enough - we can't change the world, although it seems like if we try a little harder it might just give. i guess when you start to realize the pain that is being inflicted on yourself, you find the answers.
i know your road well. i'm starting to find answers too.
Hey sock...thanks for the comment. One of the worst things about being alive and loving people is knowing that there IS and HAS to be a limit to love, on any level. You can love too much, you care care too much, to the point you lose yourself.
So how come it feels so rotten to do something you know is good for your sanity?
i guess from my prospective i don't see it as love - but as an addiction to fulfilling people's needs, and gaining their trust. when you say limit, i think of balance and not getting too involved into somebody's problems. i just want to make people happy, it's like wearing a mask - where one side is a clown and the other is a mystery. the clown entertains, he/she listens to the audience - always staying in a particular character.
for your second question. i think demons could answer that question, at least party because fear of rejection thrives for those who are powerless . i do not love myself, therefore i need to 'act out' to gain power for which i do not have. i fear rejection from those i seek..
Love is kind of a catch all - anyone who I don't flat out despise or feel neutral towards I consider it a degree of love. Like, whatever. It doesn't really mean some desperate drama - it could be a coworker, but for me a lot of my need to get along with people comes from never trusting who I am, and always second guessing myself.
I need to learn to trust my guts. I've been waiting to be free of this person for a very long time. So I'm happy :) I just wish it didn't have to come to this, but life moves on and so do I.
fear of rejection thrives for those who are powerlessWhat an incredible circle we run in. I'd be fascinated if it wasn't happening to me ;) But you're totally right, it all comes insecurity. A wise woman recently told me that self-loathing often comes in the form of destructive narcissism. A jewel of a contradiction that turns over in my head constantly
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i know the feeling - being used by other people, it just feels too natural to even notice. 'vampire' is a good description as it relates to being powerless, being victimized trying to solve other people's problems. it's never good enough - we can't change the world, although it seems like if we try a little harder it might just give. i guess when you start to realize the pain that is being inflicted on yourself, you find the answers.
i know your road well. i'm starting to find answers too.
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So how come it feels so rotten to do something you know is good for your sanity?
Something you know is right and is inevitable?
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for your second question. i think demons could answer that question, at least party because fear of rejection thrives for those who are powerless . i do not love myself, therefore i need to 'act out' to gain power for which i do not have. i fear rejection from those i seek..
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I need to learn to trust my guts. I've been waiting to be free of this person for a very long time. So I'm happy :) I just wish it didn't have to come to this, but life moves on and so do I.
fear of rejection thrives for those who are powerlessWhat an incredible circle we run in. I'd be fascinated if it wasn't happening to me ;) But you're totally right, it all comes insecurity. A wise woman recently told me that self-loathing often comes in the form of destructive narcissism. A jewel of a contradiction that turns over in my head constantly ( ... )
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