Human Something
Title: Human Something
Pairing: Yong Guk/Zelo
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In the quest to find out why humans search for mates, robot Zelo is on a mini quest of his own. Did the aliens need mates too? Could a robot be a suitable mate?
Notes: Does anyone know of a B.A.P. fanfic community? :)
He really was the perfect robot. Yong Guk had fashioned Zelo to be exactly how he wanted him - cute, bubbly, fun, talented. And what's more, Zelo only answered to him. Sure, he could humor the other members, follow their directions because he knew it made them happy, because he knew they liked to pretend they were in power - especially Himchan. But as the perfect robot, that's what he was supposed to do, right? Ease the minds of the humanoids around him, make their lives easier, even if it meant uplifting their mental spirits. Occasionally he malfunctioned, but it was easy enough for Yong Guk to reel him in, and life went on.
“Zelo,” Himchan summoned the maknae from his charging pod, knocking on the heavy door.
From inside the lights illuminated in a bright pattern, synchronizing with Zelo's battery before releasing the robot from within. He stepped out with a bounce, smiling up at the older boy.
Himchan grinned and patted the robot's head, “Are you fully charged?”
“One-hundred percent,” Zelo replied automatically.
“Good.” Himchan looped his arm through Zelo's arm and started to lead him away from the charging pod. “Today we have a special mission!”
Zelo tilted his head, “What is it?”
“Today... Yong Guk charms a woman!”
The blond robot frowned, “Does not compute.”
“Of course it doesn't,” Himchan waved a hand. “Charming a woman is an Earthling ritual and is detrimental to mating.”
“Is Yong Guk in need of reproducing?” Zelo inquired. “We are a self-reproducing species. He does not need an Earthling to do so.”
“No no no,” Himchan waved his hand again, a bit more frantically this time, as if wiping Zelo's words out of the air. “He's doing an experiment. He wants to see why humans do a mating ritual instead of just... you know, picking a mate and reproducing.”
“Does not compute,” Zelo said, looking up at the fearless leader.
Himchan stopped walking, and Zelo stopped walking, and the older boy looked down at the robot with a questioning gaze, before chuckling and pinching the younger boy's cheeks.
“You're so cute!” Himchan cooed, before he skipped off. “Youngjae! Youngjae~ I think Young Guk should start in a group setting!”
Zelo stayed where he was, looking down at himself. As a robot, of course he had no idea how human mating rituals worked, or why they even bothered with them. But he was his creator's creation and he supposed there was always room to learn more, even if you were the universe's most efficient robot.
-
At the end of the day Yong Guk came home in a flurry, sitting down on the couch and turning on a war movie. Zelo was already sitting on the couch and he greeted Yong Guk with a smile - it went unnoticed, the war monger sitting back and crossing his arms in a huff. A pout filtered over Zelo's innocent features and he brought his legs up onto the couch, sitting Indian style.
“My sensors indicate you had a difficult day,” he said softly.
“Human mating rituals are stupid,” Yong Guk muttered. He brought a hand up to his nose and sniffed, “My hands smell like onions...”
Zelo tilted his head.
Yong Guk sighed and slouched into the couch. “It's preposterous that men have to go through such great tasks just to gain the attention of a woman.” Zelo's head tilted further. “My theory was that the Earthlings might choose their mates like animals do; females being attracted to flashy males, strong males. But... I've come to find that they search for other things. Personality, and skill - rudimentary skills! Like cooking or sewing!” His nose wrinkled. “Those are women's tasks.”
Zelo almost short-circuited, before he shook his head and made sense of what Yong Guk was saying. “You did not complete your mission?”
Yong Guk shoved his hands into Zelo's face, and the robot's sensors picked up the overwhelming scent of onion. Zelo recoiled, covering his nose as his tear ducts started to water, his sensors overloading. The older boy chuckled, settling back against the couch and returning his attention to the movie. Zelo coughed, but his sensors were burning, and it was such an unpleasant smell that he got up from the couch and moved into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a lemon. The tip of his finger unscrewed and he used a small blade to cut the citrus down the middle, storing one half in a baggy in the fridge and then returning to the couch with the other.
“What's this?” Yong Guk asked, arching a brow as Zelo sat down next to him.
“The scent of the allium cepa has penetrated deep into your pores and will not remove with basic soap and water for days,” Zelo said as he took Yong Guk's hands and started to squeeze the juice from the lemon out onto the alien's palms. “The citric acid from the fruit will absorb and destroy the -”
Yong Guk was staring at Zelo blankly, and the robot coughed and licked his lips.
“It'll make your hands smell better,” he settled on, using his own hands to rub the lemon juice into Yong Guk's skin.
“That's a neat trick,” Yong Guk said, his smile a bit lopsided.
Zelo glanced up at his creator right at that moment and if he had a heart it would have skipped, but instead his circuits fizzled a bit and his fingers froze in their task, his pupils shrinking as his body stiffened.
“Shut down, sorry.”
-
“Zelo, charging.”
He did a ssanti dance, swinging his hips from side to side vigorously inside of his charging chamber. It would take 8 hours to charge fully, but Yong Guk had just tossed him into the pod for a quick charge - they were all going to be heading out as a group soon and Zelo didn't need to be at full capacity.
Youngjae smiled and brought Zelo out after an hour, tapping him on the cheek. “Hey kid.”
Zelo's pupils dilated before retracting a bit, and he smiled. “Battery at sixty percent.”
“Good! We're going out on the town today,” Youngjae said, putting an arm around Zelo's shoulders as they started to walk out of the charging room. “Gonna interact with some Earthlings on a bigger scale.”
The robot smiled, “Can we eat?” Eating was something he could replicate and actually and enjoy.
“Are you hungry?” Youngjae pinched Zelo's cheek. “Aigoo so cute. Turn left~”
Zelo turned left, letting Youngjae think he had to control him somewhat. Somewhere in Youngjae's mind he thought Zelo was some sort of model race car instead of a robot...
“Everyone here?” Himchan asked as soon as Youngjae and Zelo entered the kitchen. “Good!” He clapped. “Today!” He held up his infamous posterboard, sharpie scribbled all over it. “We eat in public!”
Yong Guk groaned, “Last time I ate in public I ate food that was way too spicy, aish! These Earthlings don't understand how sensitive other-worldly beings are!”
Daehyun spoke up, his voice muffled by his mask. “That was all in your head.”
Yong Guk grabbed the scruff of Daehyun's collar, “Who asked for your opinion...”
Jongup grabbed Yong Guk and pulled him away, “Alright! So no spicy places. Should we go to a foreign restaurant?”
Everyone started to get involved in the conversation by then as they left the dorm as a group, Zelo and Yong Guk hanging at the back. The leader rubbed his hand over his face before shoving his hands in his pockets, glancing over at Zelo.
“Did you charge?”
“Battery at sixty percent,” Zelo replied.
“Hmmm,” Yong Guk hummed. At the bottom of the stairs of the complex he tapped Zelo's shoulder and pointed to a group of girls across the street. “Yah. Do you think they like men who can cook, or men who can do a hundred push-ups?”
“Statistically Earthling women like a man who can provide protection and financial stability for them better than a man who shows off his strength,” Zelo said, looking over at the girls.
Yong Guk glowered.
“But I'm sure they would like to see a man do a hundred push-ups.”
The leader grinned, wrapping an arm around Zelo's shoulders and knuckling his curly blond hair. “You're a good kid.”
Zelo laughed and held onto Yong Guk's forearm, wiggling a bit. “Aigoo! You're going to choke me with your muscles!”
Yong Guk ruffled Zelo's hair and pulled away, bouncing ahead to start talking to Youngjae. Zelo put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, still smiling.
He liked to be treated like a person.
-
“How does an Earthling male attract another Earthling male?” Zelo asked later that night.
Youngjae's hands fumbled with his iPad, almost dropping it. He glanced up at the robot, who was standing at the kitchen table and looking down at him curiously, and the alien cleared his throat and coughed slightly.
“Uh - that's... I don't really think that's how the mating ritual goes?”
Zelo tilted his head. “Explain.”
“I mean,” Youngjae scratched the side of his head. “Male Earthlings can't reproduce with another male Earthling. So...” his brows knit together. “Why do you ask?”
“Do you think robots can attract males?” Zelo leaned down a bit, his hands resting on the table.
Youngjae stared at Zelo, eyes wide. “... Hold on.” He got up and left the kitchen, yelling for Daehyun. Zelo waited patiently and when Youngjae returned with Daehyun in tow, shaking the older alien's arm. “Fix him.”
Zelo blinked, “But I'm not malfunctioning.”
Youngjae squinted, “What is the astronomical equivalent of the time it takes to travel from planet Saturn to planet A-9242FI?”
“A solar flare.” Zelo blinked again. “Youngjae hyung, will you answer my question now?”
Daehyun turned around and exited the kitchen, obviously not able to see what the problem was. Youngjae sank into the chair at the table and ran a hand through his hair, looking like he had no idea how to answer Zelo's inquiry.
“What was the question again?” he asked.
Zelo sat down opposite of Youngjae.
“How do I attract Yong Guk hyung?”
Youngjae squinted further, his eyes practically disappearing. Daehyun backed into the kitchen and sat down at the table, folding his hands atop the surface and looking between the alien and the robot with interest.
“For... mating? For...?” Youngjae wiggled his fingers as he thought. “For reproduction? For... I don't understand.”
Zelo just stayed quiet, looking at Youngjae intently. Daehyun looked intently at Youngjae as well. This made the alien sigh and scoot closer to Zelo, ignoring the older boy.
“Do you like Yong Guk hyung?” Youngjae's eyes roved over Zelo's features.
“Does not compute.”
Youngjae dropped his forehead onto the table.
Daehyun reached out and took Zelo's hand, unscrewing his right pinky finger and pulling out the microchip. Zelo powered off and slumped in the chair, eyes closing and all life leaving his body, as Daehyun examined the chip.
“Youngjae,” Daehyun pulled the mask away from his mouth so the other could hear him clearly. “I didn't install this component.”
Youngjae frowned, “Which component?”
“After Yong Guk hyung created Zelo he had me overlook the blueprints to make sure everything would be in working order so he would be a flawless, perfect robot. He wanted to make sure nothing would get in the way of Zelo's high intelligence processor or his quick execution of decisions. But this,” he pointed to the microchip, where one of the corners seemed to be incomplete. “I didn't do that.”
“Can you fix it?” Youngjae asked.
“I don't know if I should,” Daehyun rubbed the back of his neck, putting the microchip back in Zelo's pinky finger and closing it up. Zelo's body powered on, but his processor stayed asleep. “I don't know what it would do to the rest of the motherboard if I did change it. A customization like that... Zelo did it himself. And he's far more advanced than Yong Guk or I. It wouldn't be smart for me to tamper with it.”
“Let's go get Yong Guk. I think he's at the gym,” Youngjae said as he stood up.
Daehyun nodded, replacing his mask as he followed after the younger boy.
Ten minutes after they left, Zelo was still in sleep mode. Yong Guk entered the kitchen, having just woken up from a nap - he paused on his way to the fridge, looking over at the robot's slumped form.
“... Huh.” He walked over and pressed on the back of Zelo's neck for three seconds, starting up the main booting system.
Zelo straightened up and his eyes opened, and he shook his head and rubbed his eyes before looking up at Yong Guk. He had powered off?
“Hyung?”
Yong Guk smiled, “Accidentally shut yourself down?”
“... No,” Zelo frowned. “Where's Youngjae hyung and Daehyun hyung?”
“I don't know. I just woke up from a nap, I'm starving.” Yong Guk opened the fridge, bending as he peered inside of it.
Zelo wiggled his pinky finger before standing up, his motions a bit jerky and then smoothing out. He was a bit hesitant in approaching Yong Guk, detouring his route to one of the cupboards.
“We have some instant ramen,” the robot suggested, going through that week's grocery inventory in his head. He got into the correct cupboard and chose beef over chicken - it was just how Yong Guk preferred it.
“Easy enough,” Yong Guk shut the fridge and took the cup ramen that Zelo handed to him. He went over to the hot water tank, shaking it a bit to see if there was water inside.
“Hyung...”
Yong Guk glanced up and Zelo was looking down at the floor, the usual smile on his features flattened into a thin line.
“What's up?” the leader pressed on the lever of the spout, filling the styrofoam cup with hot water.
“Have you found a mate?”
Yong Guk laughed, “Nah. I'm not looking for one.”
“Then why...” Zelo took a pair of chopsticks out of a drawer and handed them to Yong Guk, who was holding out his hand expectantly.
“Why would I need a mate?” Yong Guk slurped up some noodles, reverse-cooling as they went down by breathing loudly in and out of his mouth. When he swallowed, he looked at Zelo curiously. “It was an experiment to see how Earthlings... Why do you want to know if I found one?”
Zelo lifted and dropped a shoulder in a shrug, not meeting Yong Guk's eyes.
“Don't be indirect with me, Zelo,” Yong Guk commanded.
“An Earthling would be an unsuitable mate for you,” Zelo said matter-of-factly. The robot in him couldn't defy his creator.
Yong Guk stared at Zelo for a second, some noodles hanging out of his mouth. He slurped them up and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and then leaned against the counter opposite of Zelo. “And... what exactly are you proposing is a suitable mate for me, Zelo?”
Zelo licked his lips, obviously hesitant to answer.
“Zelo.” Yong Guk set the cup of ramen down on the counter and took a step forward, his rough voice deepening even more with his firmness. “Answer me.”
“I...” the robot lowered his eyes. “Someone of higher intelligence.”
“An alien?” the creator pressed. Zelo shook his head. Today his hair was straightened, his bangs hanging in his eyes a bit. The alien smirked a bit and picked up his ramen, taking a noisy bite. “Are you being defiant?” Yong Guk was clearly amused, and Zelo's sensors were going haywire with the charge in the air between them.
“You created me to be perfect in the likeness of something without fault, to your taste.” Zelo glanced up to Yong Guk through his lashes. “Aren't I the only choice?”
Yong Guk wrapped an arm around Zelo's shoulders, setting his ramen cup down when it was empty.
“That's an interesting theory, Zelo.” Yong Guk seemed contemplative, and something akin to hope stirred in Zelo's emotion chip. “Are you saying that my real intent of creating you was for-”
“There you are!” Youngjae and Daehyun entered the kitchen, the technology geek looking a bit winded. “Where have you been?”
Yong Guk pulled away from Zelo casually, picking up his ramen cup and rinsing it out in the sink before tossing it away. “I was napping. What were you two doing?” he asked, raising a suspicious brow towards Daehyun.
“We were looking for you,” Youngjae said, before sliding up to Zelo. “How do you feel, Zelo?”
Zelo blinked, not sure how to answer that question. Did robots feel? “Battery at forty percent.”
Youngjae frowned. “Did you power him back on, hyung?”
“Of course, he was just sitting there,” Yong Guk said, grabbing a bottle of water. “You could have at least put him back in his pod.”
“But,” Youngjae sounded like he was on the borderline of whining, “that's why we wanted to find you!”
“Aish I don't want to hear it,” Yong Guk waved a hand and Zelo watched as he left the kitchen, leaving him with Daehyun and Youngjae once again.
And considering the last time he'd been left alone with them he'd been powered off randomly, he decided to leave the area quickly, retreating to his pod for a good charging session.
-
Beds were comfortable. Why didn't Zelo sleep in them? Ah, because robots don't need sleep. But he was lying in bed when everyone was out, reading a manhwa and just being a maknae. Because when it came down to it, that's what he was, right? The youngest out of all of them, the one they thought was so cute, the quiet one, the bratty one, even though he had malfunctions every now and again. He was lying on his stomach with his chin in his hand, his other hand holding open the book as he scanned the pages.
He could read through a thousand-page book in thirty seconds easily enough, but with this manhwa he wanted to take his time. He wanted to have some semblance of... being a teenager. He wanted to feel the thickness of the pages between his fingers - it wasn't a human sensation, it was a robot one, his sensors just told him that it felt nice. And he wanted to smell the newness of the freshly bent spine - that also wasn't a human sensation, but his sensors told him that it was similar to releasing endorphins in a human's brain. And for just a little bit, it made him feel a bit more human.
“Zelo?”
Glancing up, Zelo saw Yong Guk standing in the door way. The leader was dressed down today and Zelo's sensors gathered a low reading from him; he must be pretty relaxed if he wasn't all amped up on something, like a war movie or maybe even an energy drink.
Zelo sat up, smiling. “Hyung, you're home early. Everyone else is still gone.” He set his manhwa aside and stood up, stretching his back.
“Yeah.” Yong Guk was relaxed, but there was something... off about him.
“Are you ok?” Zelo kept from approaching his creator; maybe he wanted space? “Would you like me to go turn on a movie for you while you change?” That was usual down time routine.
“No,” the alien moved into the room and reached up to unclasp the mask that was resting on Zelo's chin. He moved it away slowly before letting it drop on the floor, the sound resonating in Zelo's ear drum sensors. The robot stayed still, obeying the order that had been given to him, looking up at the leader with bright eyes. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Zelo's brow twitched a bit. “I don't understand.” How was he looking at him? “Please request a different command.”
Yong Guk didn't talk. The only noise that passed between them was a sharp intake of air, by whom Zelo wasn't sure, and Yong Guk's lips were pressed to the robot's, his fingers curling gently around the maknae's jaw to bring him forward and keep him from pulling away. Not that Zelo was going to move, because he had been commanded to stay still, and because he had been commanded to stop looking at his creator a certain way, his eyes fell closed. But as well as following the commands, robot, a small part of him just felt like that's what he should do, human.
The alien pulled away and Zelo's eyes slowly opened, his sensors indicating a huge fluctuation in his mimicry of endorphins. Yong Guk smiled a bit, that little tiny smile that Zelo knew was reserved for him, and then ruffled Zelo's curly hair.
“Know what kind of mate an alien like me needs?” the warrior asked.
Zelo blinked once, twice, thrice. Then shook his head.
“Someone like you.” His grin was a bit lopsided.
Zelo perked up and smiled brightly, jumping at Yong Guk and wrapping his arms around the alien's neck in a hug. The alien laughed and hugged him back, kissing his head.
Someone.
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Pairing: Yong Guk/Zelo
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In the quest to find out why humans search for mates, robot Zelo is on a mini quest of his own. Did the aliens need mates too? Could a robot be a suitable mate?
Notes: Does anyone know of a B.A.P. fanfic community? :)
He really was the perfect robot. Yong Guk had fashioned Zelo to be exactly how he wanted him - cute, bubbly, fun, talented. And what's more, Zelo only answered to him. Sure, he could humor the other members, follow their directions because he knew it made them happy, because he knew they liked to pretend they were in power - especially Himchan. But as the perfect robot, that's what he was supposed to do, right? Ease the minds of the humanoids around him, make their lives easier, even if it meant uplifting their mental spirits. Occasionally he malfunctioned, but it was easy enough for Yong Guk to reel him in, and life went on.
“Zelo,” Himchan summoned the maknae from his charging pod, knocking on the heavy door.
From inside the lights illuminated in a bright pattern, synchronizing with Zelo's battery before releasing the robot from within. He stepped out with a bounce, smiling up at the older boy.
Himchan grinned and patted the robot's head, “Are you fully charged?”
“One-hundred percent,” Zelo replied automatically.
“Good.” Himchan looped his arm through Zelo's arm and started to lead him away from the charging pod. “Today we have a special mission!”
Zelo tilted his head, “What is it?”
“Today... Yong Guk charms a woman!”
The blond robot frowned, “Does not compute.”
“Of course it doesn't,” Himchan waved a hand. “Charming a woman is an Earthling ritual and is detrimental to mating.”
“Is Yong Guk in need of reproducing?” Zelo inquired. “We are a self-reproducing species. He does not need an Earthling to do so.”
“No no no,” Himchan waved his hand again, a bit more frantically this time, as if wiping Zelo's words out of the air. “He's doing an experiment. He wants to see why humans do a mating ritual instead of just... you know, picking a mate and reproducing.”
“Does not compute,” Zelo said, looking up at the fearless leader.
Himchan stopped walking, and Zelo stopped walking, and the older boy looked down at the robot with a questioning gaze, before chuckling and pinching the younger boy's cheeks.
“You're so cute!” Himchan cooed, before he skipped off. “Youngjae! Youngjae~ I think Young Guk should start in a group setting!”
Zelo stayed where he was, looking down at himself. As a robot, of course he had no idea how human mating rituals worked, or why they even bothered with them. But he was his creator's creation and he supposed there was always room to learn more, even if you were the universe's most efficient robot.
-
At the end of the day Yong Guk came home in a flurry, sitting down on the couch and turning on a war movie. Zelo was already sitting on the couch and he greeted Yong Guk with a smile - it went unnoticed, the war monger sitting back and crossing his arms in a huff. A pout filtered over Zelo's innocent features and he brought his legs up onto the couch, sitting Indian style.
“My sensors indicate you had a difficult day,” he said softly.
“Human mating rituals are stupid,” Yong Guk muttered. He brought a hand up to his nose and sniffed, “My hands smell like onions...”
Zelo tilted his head.
Yong Guk sighed and slouched into the couch. “It's preposterous that men have to go through such great tasks just to gain the attention of a woman.” Zelo's head tilted further. “My theory was that the Earthlings might choose their mates like animals do; females being attracted to flashy males, strong males. But... I've come to find that they search for other things. Personality, and skill - rudimentary skills! Like cooking or sewing!” His nose wrinkled. “Those are women's tasks.”
Zelo almost short-circuited, before he shook his head and made sense of what Yong Guk was saying. “You did not complete your mission?”
Yong Guk shoved his hands into Zelo's face, and the robot's sensors picked up the overwhelming scent of onion. Zelo recoiled, covering his nose as his tear ducts started to water, his sensors overloading. The older boy chuckled, settling back against the couch and returning his attention to the movie. Zelo coughed, but his sensors were burning, and it was such an unpleasant smell that he got up from the couch and moved into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a lemon. The tip of his finger unscrewed and he used a small blade to cut the citrus down the middle, storing one half in a baggy in the fridge and then returning to the couch with the other.
“What's this?” Yong Guk asked, arching a brow as Zelo sat down next to him.
“The scent of the allium cepa has penetrated deep into your pores and will not remove with basic soap and water for days,” Zelo said as he took Yong Guk's hands and started to squeeze the juice from the lemon out onto the alien's palms. “The citric acid from the fruit will absorb and destroy the -”
Yong Guk was staring at Zelo blankly, and the robot coughed and licked his lips.
“It'll make your hands smell better,” he settled on, using his own hands to rub the lemon juice into Yong Guk's skin.
“That's a neat trick,” Yong Guk said, his smile a bit lopsided.
Zelo glanced up at his creator right at that moment and if he had a heart it would have skipped, but instead his circuits fizzled a bit and his fingers froze in their task, his pupils shrinking as his body stiffened.
“Shut down, sorry.”
-
“Zelo, charging.”
He did a ssanti dance, swinging his hips from side to side vigorously inside of his charging chamber. It would take 8 hours to charge fully, but Yong Guk had just tossed him into the pod for a quick charge - they were all going to be heading out as a group soon and Zelo didn't need to be at full capacity.
Youngjae smiled and brought Zelo out after an hour, tapping him on the cheek. “Hey kid.”
Zelo's pupils dilated before retracting a bit, and he smiled. “Battery at sixty percent.”
“Good! We're going out on the town today,” Youngjae said, putting an arm around Zelo's shoulders as they started to walk out of the charging room. “Gonna interact with some Earthlings on a bigger scale.”
The robot smiled, “Can we eat?” Eating was something he could replicate and actually and enjoy.
“Are you hungry?” Youngjae pinched Zelo's cheek. “Aigoo so cute. Turn left~”
Zelo turned left, letting Youngjae think he had to control him somewhat. Somewhere in Youngjae's mind he thought Zelo was some sort of model race car instead of a robot...
“Everyone here?” Himchan asked as soon as Youngjae and Zelo entered the kitchen. “Good!” He clapped. “Today!” He held up his infamous posterboard, sharpie scribbled all over it. “We eat in public!”
Yong Guk groaned, “Last time I ate in public I ate food that was way too spicy, aish! These Earthlings don't understand how sensitive other-worldly beings are!”
Daehyun spoke up, his voice muffled by his mask. “That was all in your head.”
Yong Guk grabbed the scruff of Daehyun's collar, “Who asked for your opinion...”
Jongup grabbed Yong Guk and pulled him away, “Alright! So no spicy places. Should we go to a foreign restaurant?”
Everyone started to get involved in the conversation by then as they left the dorm as a group, Zelo and Yong Guk hanging at the back. The leader rubbed his hand over his face before shoving his hands in his pockets, glancing over at Zelo.
“Did you charge?”
“Battery at sixty percent,” Zelo replied.
“Hmmm,” Yong Guk hummed. At the bottom of the stairs of the complex he tapped Zelo's shoulder and pointed to a group of girls across the street. “Yah. Do you think they like men who can cook, or men who can do a hundred push-ups?”
“Statistically Earthling women like a man who can provide protection and financial stability for them better than a man who shows off his strength,” Zelo said, looking over at the girls.
Yong Guk glowered.
“But I'm sure they would like to see a man do a hundred push-ups.”
The leader grinned, wrapping an arm around Zelo's shoulders and knuckling his curly blond hair. “You're a good kid.”
Zelo laughed and held onto Yong Guk's forearm, wiggling a bit. “Aigoo! You're going to choke me with your muscles!”
Yong Guk ruffled Zelo's hair and pulled away, bouncing ahead to start talking to Youngjae. Zelo put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, still smiling.
He liked to be treated like a person.
-
“How does an Earthling male attract another Earthling male?” Zelo asked later that night.
Youngjae's hands fumbled with his iPad, almost dropping it. He glanced up at the robot, who was standing at the kitchen table and looking down at him curiously, and the alien cleared his throat and coughed slightly.
“Uh - that's... I don't really think that's how the mating ritual goes?”
Zelo tilted his head. “Explain.”
“I mean,” Youngjae scratched the side of his head. “Male Earthlings can't reproduce with another male Earthling. So...” his brows knit together. “Why do you ask?”
“Do you think robots can attract males?” Zelo leaned down a bit, his hands resting on the table.
Youngjae stared at Zelo, eyes wide. “... Hold on.” He got up and left the kitchen, yelling for Daehyun. Zelo waited patiently and when Youngjae returned with Daehyun in tow, shaking the older alien's arm. “Fix him.”
Zelo blinked, “But I'm not malfunctioning.”
Youngjae squinted, “What is the astronomical equivalent of the time it takes to travel from planet Saturn to planet A-9242FI?”
“A solar flare.” Zelo blinked again. “Youngjae hyung, will you answer my question now?”
Daehyun turned around and exited the kitchen, obviously not able to see what the problem was. Youngjae sank into the chair at the table and ran a hand through his hair, looking like he had no idea how to answer Zelo's inquiry.
“What was the question again?” he asked.
Zelo sat down opposite of Youngjae.
“How do I attract Yong Guk hyung?”
Youngjae squinted further, his eyes practically disappearing. Daehyun backed into the kitchen and sat down at the table, folding his hands atop the surface and looking between the alien and the robot with interest.
“For... mating? For...?” Youngjae wiggled his fingers as he thought. “For reproduction? For... I don't understand.”
Zelo just stayed quiet, looking at Youngjae intently. Daehyun looked intently at Youngjae as well. This made the alien sigh and scoot closer to Zelo, ignoring the older boy.
“Do you like Yong Guk hyung?” Youngjae's eyes roved over Zelo's features.
“Does not compute.”
Youngjae dropped his forehead onto the table.
Daehyun reached out and took Zelo's hand, unscrewing his right pinky finger and pulling out the microchip. Zelo powered off and slumped in the chair, eyes closing and all life leaving his body, as Daehyun examined the chip.
“Youngjae,” Daehyun pulled the mask away from his mouth so the other could hear him clearly. “I didn't install this component.”
Youngjae frowned, “Which component?”
“After Yong Guk hyung created Zelo he had me overlook the blueprints to make sure everything would be in working order so he would be a flawless, perfect robot. He wanted to make sure nothing would get in the way of Zelo's high intelligence processor or his quick execution of decisions. But this,” he pointed to the microchip, where one of the corners seemed to be incomplete. “I didn't do that.”
“Can you fix it?” Youngjae asked.
“I don't know if I should,” Daehyun rubbed the back of his neck, putting the microchip back in Zelo's pinky finger and closing it up. Zelo's body powered on, but his processor stayed asleep. “I don't know what it would do to the rest of the motherboard if I did change it. A customization like that... Zelo did it himself. And he's far more advanced than Yong Guk or I. It wouldn't be smart for me to tamper with it.”
“Let's go get Yong Guk. I think he's at the gym,” Youngjae said as he stood up.
Daehyun nodded, replacing his mask as he followed after the younger boy.
Ten minutes after they left, Zelo was still in sleep mode. Yong Guk entered the kitchen, having just woken up from a nap - he paused on his way to the fridge, looking over at the robot's slumped form.
“... Huh.” He walked over and pressed on the back of Zelo's neck for three seconds, starting up the main booting system.
Zelo straightened up and his eyes opened, and he shook his head and rubbed his eyes before looking up at Yong Guk. He had powered off?
“Hyung?”
Yong Guk smiled, “Accidentally shut yourself down?”
“... No,” Zelo frowned. “Where's Youngjae hyung and Daehyun hyung?”
“I don't know. I just woke up from a nap, I'm starving.” Yong Guk opened the fridge, bending as he peered inside of it.
Zelo wiggled his pinky finger before standing up, his motions a bit jerky and then smoothing out. He was a bit hesitant in approaching Yong Guk, detouring his route to one of the cupboards.
“We have some instant ramen,” the robot suggested, going through that week's grocery inventory in his head. He got into the correct cupboard and chose beef over chicken - it was just how Yong Guk preferred it.
“Easy enough,” Yong Guk shut the fridge and took the cup ramen that Zelo handed to him. He went over to the hot water tank, shaking it a bit to see if there was water inside.
“Hyung...”
Yong Guk glanced up and Zelo was looking down at the floor, the usual smile on his features flattened into a thin line.
“What's up?” the leader pressed on the lever of the spout, filling the styrofoam cup with hot water.
“Have you found a mate?”
Yong Guk laughed, “Nah. I'm not looking for one.”
“Then why...” Zelo took a pair of chopsticks out of a drawer and handed them to Yong Guk, who was holding out his hand expectantly.
“Why would I need a mate?” Yong Guk slurped up some noodles, reverse-cooling as they went down by breathing loudly in and out of his mouth. When he swallowed, he looked at Zelo curiously. “It was an experiment to see how Earthlings... Why do you want to know if I found one?”
Zelo lifted and dropped a shoulder in a shrug, not meeting Yong Guk's eyes.
“Don't be indirect with me, Zelo,” Yong Guk commanded.
“An Earthling would be an unsuitable mate for you,” Zelo said matter-of-factly. The robot in him couldn't defy his creator.
Yong Guk stared at Zelo for a second, some noodles hanging out of his mouth. He slurped them up and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and then leaned against the counter opposite of Zelo. “And... what exactly are you proposing is a suitable mate for me, Zelo?”
Zelo licked his lips, obviously hesitant to answer.
“Zelo.” Yong Guk set the cup of ramen down on the counter and took a step forward, his rough voice deepening even more with his firmness. “Answer me.”
“I...” the robot lowered his eyes. “Someone of higher intelligence.”
“An alien?” the creator pressed. Zelo shook his head. Today his hair was straightened, his bangs hanging in his eyes a bit. The alien smirked a bit and picked up his ramen, taking a noisy bite. “Are you being defiant?” Yong Guk was clearly amused, and Zelo's sensors were going haywire with the charge in the air between them.
“You created me to be perfect in the likeness of something without fault, to your taste.” Zelo glanced up to Yong Guk through his lashes. “Aren't I the only choice?”
Yong Guk wrapped an arm around Zelo's shoulders, setting his ramen cup down when it was empty.
“That's an interesting theory, Zelo.” Yong Guk seemed contemplative, and something akin to hope stirred in Zelo's emotion chip. “Are you saying that my real intent of creating you was for-”
“There you are!” Youngjae and Daehyun entered the kitchen, the technology geek looking a bit winded. “Where have you been?”
Yong Guk pulled away from Zelo casually, picking up his ramen cup and rinsing it out in the sink before tossing it away. “I was napping. What were you two doing?” he asked, raising a suspicious brow towards Daehyun.
“We were looking for you,” Youngjae said, before sliding up to Zelo. “How do you feel, Zelo?”
Zelo blinked, not sure how to answer that question. Did robots feel? “Battery at forty percent.”
Youngjae frowned. “Did you power him back on, hyung?”
“Of course, he was just sitting there,” Yong Guk said, grabbing a bottle of water. “You could have at least put him back in his pod.”
“But,” Youngjae sounded like he was on the borderline of whining, “that's why we wanted to find you!”
“Aish I don't want to hear it,” Yong Guk waved a hand and Zelo watched as he left the kitchen, leaving him with Daehyun and Youngjae once again.
And considering the last time he'd been left alone with them he'd been powered off randomly, he decided to leave the area quickly, retreating to his pod for a good charging session.
-
Beds were comfortable. Why didn't Zelo sleep in them? Ah, because robots don't need sleep. But he was lying in bed when everyone was out, reading a manhwa and just being a maknae. Because when it came down to it, that's what he was, right? The youngest out of all of them, the one they thought was so cute, the quiet one, the bratty one, even though he had malfunctions every now and again. He was lying on his stomach with his chin in his hand, his other hand holding open the book as he scanned the pages.
He could read through a thousand-page book in thirty seconds easily enough, but with this manhwa he wanted to take his time. He wanted to have some semblance of... being a teenager. He wanted to feel the thickness of the pages between his fingers - it wasn't a human sensation, it was a robot one, his sensors just told him that it felt nice. And he wanted to smell the newness of the freshly bent spine - that also wasn't a human sensation, but his sensors told him that it was similar to releasing endorphins in a human's brain. And for just a little bit, it made him feel a bit more human.
“Zelo?”
Glancing up, Zelo saw Yong Guk standing in the door way. The leader was dressed down today and Zelo's sensors gathered a low reading from him; he must be pretty relaxed if he wasn't all amped up on something, like a war movie or maybe even an energy drink.
Zelo sat up, smiling. “Hyung, you're home early. Everyone else is still gone.” He set his manhwa aside and stood up, stretching his back.
“Yeah.” Yong Guk was relaxed, but there was something... off about him.
“Are you ok?” Zelo kept from approaching his creator; maybe he wanted space? “Would you like me to go turn on a movie for you while you change?” That was usual down time routine.
“No,” the alien moved into the room and reached up to unclasp the mask that was resting on Zelo's chin. He moved it away slowly before letting it drop on the floor, the sound resonating in Zelo's ear drum sensors. The robot stayed still, obeying the order that had been given to him, looking up at the leader with bright eyes. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Zelo's brow twitched a bit. “I don't understand.” How was he looking at him? “Please request a different command.”
Yong Guk didn't talk. The only noise that passed between them was a sharp intake of air, by whom Zelo wasn't sure, and Yong Guk's lips were pressed to the robot's, his fingers curling gently around the maknae's jaw to bring him forward and keep him from pulling away. Not that Zelo was going to move, because he had been commanded to stay still, and because he had been commanded to stop looking at his creator a certain way, his eyes fell closed. But as well as following the commands, robot, a small part of him just felt like that's what he should do, human.
The alien pulled away and Zelo's eyes slowly opened, his sensors indicating a huge fluctuation in his mimicry of endorphins. Yong Guk smiled a bit, that little tiny smile that Zelo knew was reserved for him, and then ruffled Zelo's curly hair.
“Know what kind of mate an alien like me needs?” the warrior asked.
Zelo blinked once, twice, thrice. Then shook his head.
“Someone like you.” His grin was a bit lopsided.
Zelo perked up and smiled brightly, jumping at Yong Guk and wrapping his arms around the alien's neck in a hug. The alien laughed and hugged him back, kissing his head.
Someone.
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