jump start my kaleidoscope heart. (3/6)

Apr 22, 2014 21:21



Even with the new interns running around the halls, desperately trying not to look like they’re drowning here, the hospital feels strangely empty. There’s no wonder going around; it feels like an ordinary day for the now second year residents. Not even Krystal can try to bring some excitement to her group of friends.

Sehun feels instantly better when he sees Joonmyun coming out of a patient’s room, forehead creasing as he looks over the patient’s case again. Discreetly, he grabs the smaller male’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

“You alright?” Sehun bumps against him playfully. Joonmyun tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

“I’m fine. There are so many burn victims in the emergency room right now, and a lot of them have second-degree burns. It’s a busy day for me.” Joonmyun checks his pager and groans. “Yeah, there’s another one.”

“So,” Sehun shifts his weight, “no time to mess around in an on-call room with me?”

Joonmyun chuckles. “Maybe later.”

“I’ll hold that against you.”

Minseok gathers all of the attending surgeons in a conference room. “I just got the news from the board of directors. We have news of the funding for a clinical trial; however we do need you to share any ideas that you have.” The room is suddenly filled with chatter. “That’s all.”

Yifan gets up, face more passive than usual while he walks. Luhan tugs on his hand. “Have you thought of anything yet?”

“It’s been two minutes since the announcement. Give me some more time,” he grumbles. Luhan watches him walk away, probably thinking too deeply about what he can do with the funding. Luhan’s given up on trying to think of something; as good as he is with kids and making them feel better, he’s not exactly a genius when it comes to extremely scientific things like these.

He turns around and sees Minseok sitting in the conference room, going through several papers and articles on his phone. Luhan checks his phone if he has anything scheduled. He’s free, so he knocks on the door and enters when Minseok nods absently at the door.

“Hi.” Minseok sounds confused. “Do you already have a proposal?” Luhan doesn’t answer and walks to the old-fashioned coffee machine in the room. There’s water boiling and Minseok almost stands up to stop him from touching his pot.

“Relax, Minseok. You and I understand each other, right?” Luhan smiles at him, turning off the heat. Apparently, they really do understand each other when it comes to coffee, making the perfect mix for both of them.

Luhan scrolls through his messages, trying to look for the last time that Minseok texted him. It’s been three months.

“Hey, Minseok.” The Chief looks up from his papers. “How are you?”

Minseok narrows his eyes. “I’m fine. What brought that on?”

“Is it weird for me to be polite?” Luhan is mock-offended.

“It’s not weird; it’s just that you’re the type of person who can tell someone to break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend without even thinking of what the person might possibly feel. You’re nice, but kind of blunt.”

“You’re nice, but deep inside, you want to choke everyone around you,” Luhan points out.

“I think you’re mistaking me for Kyungsoo.” They laugh. “But really, why are you here? Do you need something?”

“I don’t know.” Luhan chuckles bitterly. “I think that it’s so sad, how we drifted apart just like that. The last time you texted me was three months ago. I don’t even remember the last time we had a decent conversation.”

“I’ve been busy, you know that. You could have texted too. I would have replied.”

Luhan leans back on his chair, taking a sip of his coffee. “I just feel like we’re in two different worlds now. I feel like you’re drowning in your responsibilities and I’m still the guy who could never be half as good as you were.”

“Luhan--”

“It’s fine.” His pager beeps. “I should really go too.”

“Do you have any brilliant ideas for a clinical trial, Sehun?” Yifan suddenly asks Sehun in the middle of an operation.

“Why are you asking?” Sehun has his hand in someone’s chest, looking up momentarily at Yifan. Yifan doesn’t give him any hints. “Well, I don’t. Does that mean it’s time for someone to try and do something with the annual funding for trials?”

Yifan sighs, pointing out the damaged pulmonary artery. Sehun finally finds it and asks for the forceps, cutting off the blood flow temporarily.

“Start the machines,” he says. It’s Yifan’s turn to step forward, looking at the leaking area and watches as the blood slowly stops flowing.

“Let’s begin.” He cuts off the damaged part and carefully places it elsewhere, wordlessly asking for the prosthetic that they’ll be inserting into the man’s body.

“Yeah, the funding’s there, but it’s the board’s choice on who they’re giving it to. Even Minseok’s trying to think of something, but he’s drowning in enough responsibilities as it is. I’m pretty sure Jongdae has something, but he’s keeping it hidden from everybody.”

“I’ll tell you when I think of something,” mutters Sehun, suspicious about a small lump right outside the cut that Yifan made. He reaches out and touches it, surprised when the lump is kind of hard.

“Yifan? Can this be a tumor?” Yifan’s eyebrows furrows and he places his fingers on it.

“It feels like one. Let’s look at that later, but for now we can’t take it out.”

“Why not? It’s not that big and it seems like an easy cut,” objects Sehun.

“The patient didn’t agree to it, Sehun. When he wakes up, let’s ask him. For now, let’s stick to the artery replacement.”

When it’s done, Yifan lets Sehun close the patient. “We don’t always let second-years do this alone, but I trust you enough. You can handle this, right?”

“Of course,” Sehun answers, double checking the number of sponges on the table to make sure that nothing else is inside the patient. He closes up quickly and cleanly, following Yifan in the scrub room.

“Are you and Joonmyun okay?” Yifan asks suddenly. Sehun looks up at him, surprised again. “I don’t mean to pry. I’m just curious.”

Sehun allows himself to smile, even just a little. “We’re fine. We’re good.”

“That’s great. I hope you two are happy.”

Yifan leaves first, leaving Sehun with two more minutes to waste while washing his hands. He remembers how busy Joonmyun was when they first saw each other this morning. Maybe now, he’ll have a little more time for Sehun.

He doesn’t. Joonmyun’s still too busy and Sehun ends up waiting around in the residents’ locker room. Krystal catches him there, playing a game on his phone while hiding in the corner. She frowns.

“What are you doing?” she asks. “Aren’t you going to help out in the emergency room?”

“I’m on Yifan’s service and he’s out having lunch.” He stands up. “Go out with me.”

“Sorry, I thought you weren’t interested in girls.” Sehun walks forward and places his hand around her shoulder.

“I’m not, but I love you in my own way. That counts, right?” Sehun smiles at her cheekily. “Come on, it’s my treat.”

They catch Jongin in their favorite pizza place, eating an entire large sized pan by himself. He looks up, still biting on a slice, eyes wide open. Krystal and Sehun sit in his booth, inwardly laughing at how lonely he looks.

“Why are you out being such a glutton? Aren’t you with Joonmyun today?” she asks.

“He gave me a thirty minute break. That’s how much time I have to finish this pizza,” he flicks Sehun’s hand away from the pan, “by myself.”

“Selfish kid,” Sehun murmurs.

“You said you were going to treat me.” Krystal bats her eyelashes, receiving a hand on her face in return.

“I said that. I didn’t mean it.” Nonetheless, Sehun orders their usual pepperoni pizza and pays for it at the end of the meal. Jongin steals a slice right before he leaves, running out of the restaurant with half a slice in his mouth and the other in his hand. They laugh at him, ignoring the stares from other people.

When they go back to the hospital, Krystal is immediately whisked away by Jongdae. Yifan calls Sehun into an empty room.

“Yifan, you’re scaring me.” The older male is pacing in the room, leaving Sehun to sit down on the couch quietly.

“I need to think of something! This is my chance. I have to have something, anything to offer.” He messes up his hair. “Luhan isn’t useful; he’s not even trying to think of anything for his kids. Chanyeol’s too busy in surgery, and Joonmyun’s half-dead while walking around in that emergency room. I only have you, and I’m not meaning that in a sweet way.”

“I’m hurt,” Sehun deadpans. “But as I said, I have nothing. Why do you even expect me to know anything about clinical trials and scientific things? I like to cut. That’s my thing.”

“But you’re Boy Wonder of the residents. You’ve been as good as a third-year resident ever since you were an intern. I expect you to be good at thinking of these things.”

“I’m good at doing things. I’m good at cutting and feeling and knowing when something’s wrong just by looking at it. I’m not good at thinking,” Sehun admits.

Yifan kneels down in front of him. “I’m literally begging you right now, Sehun. I need you to tell me if you even the smallest idea, alright?”

Sehun nods, standing up and stepping away from his mentor who’s currently having a mental breakdown right in front of him. “I’ll make sure you’re the only one to know.”

As soon as he exits the room, a small hand pulls him through the hall. It’s Joonmyun, excitedly running towards an on-call room. Sehun closes the door behind them, pulling Joonmyun into his arms the second he turns around. Joonmyun is eager to pull him down, sliding his hands under Sehun’s blazer.

“I can see you’ve finally found time for me,” Sehun teases.

“Less talking. Less clothes. I’ve had enough of blood and burned skin. Need more of this.” Joonmyun sucks on his pale skin, swiping his tongue over the reddening mark. Sehun giggles, hands settling on Joonmyun’s ass.

“Can you two shut up?” Joonmyun and Sehun break apart, looking around to see where the voice came from. It’s Kyungsoo, hair messed up and eyes bleary. “God, all I wanted was ten minutes of peace and quiet, but apparently that’s impossible here.”

He jumps off the top bunk and unlocks the door, slamming it behind him. Sehun slowly reaches out to lock it again while Joonmyun tries to take his shirt off.

“Can you slow down a little?” Sehun asks, turning around when he can’t manage to twist the lock properly. Joonmyun hugs him from behind, tiptoeing to kiss the back of his neck.

“Slow isn’t an option. Now hurry up. I have ten minutes before someone pages me again.”

Yifan finally finds Luhan in an empty room with Yixing, both of them sleeping and leaning against each other. He sees the twitch of Yixing’s fingers.

“Yixing.” He doesn’t respond. “Yixing, I know you’re awake.”

He opens his eyes and scowls at Yifan. “Now I am. What do you need?”

“Luhan. I’ve been looking for him all day.” He bends down and tries to see if Luhan’s really asleep. He is. “Is he that tired?”

“He’s crashing after three cups of coffee and a seven-hour surgery. He’s tired. I was there.”

Yifan sighs. “Tell him to meet me at our usual pantry when he’s awake.”

When he leaves, Luhan smiles and pulls Yixing closer with the arm he threw over his waist before Yifan entered the room. “Thanks for covering for me.”

“Why are you avoiding him anyway?” Yixing helps him sit up so that his arm is around Luhan’s shoulders comfortably and they’re still hugging.

“He’s busy with thinking of a proposal. I don’t want to distract him from his thought process,” Luhan explains. “And besides, I won’t be of much help.”

Yixing pulls his bag closer to them using his feet. “My grandmother gave me this when I visited them. It’s one of my grandfather’s journals. It’s a little old, but the ideas he has here are so advanced, we could use it for today.”

“Wow,” whispers Luhan when he reads through some of the descriptions and drawings. “These are all brilliant.”

Looking up, he locks eyes with Yixing. “Can we show these to Yifan? I’m sure he’ll think of something by looking at them.”

Yixing nods, and Luhan finally looks like he’s the usual energetic person that everyone sees. True enough, Yifan is slaving over articles and books in the pantry. Luhan hands him the journal and sits down across him.

“It’s my grandfather’s journal. If you think something’s interesting, just tell me,” Yixing says while thinking of what he should buy from the vending machine. He turns around when Yifan abruptly stands up from his chair.

“This is it! Three-dimensional printing! It says here that he was thinking of stem grafts, but I think this can work as a conduit for the heart,” Yifan babbles on. He walks over to Yixing and holds his hand. “Yixing, please. This research could make my career and your family name.”

Yixing hesitates, thinking of his grandfather and all the years of hard work he’s put into collecting these journals with all his brilliant ideas. Is it worth it to pass some of that brilliance to his friend?

“Go ahead. My grandfather would love to see one of his dreams in the field of medicine come true.” Yixing smiles, cute and dimpled, and Yifan rushes forward to hug him.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Yifan sits back down and starts writing the draft of his proposal, thinking out loud and constantly thanking Yixing and his grandfather for the idea again and again and again. Yixing is flattered and overwhelmed by how grateful Yifan is, and his smile stays on all night.

Sehun is personally offended when Yifan doesn’t choose him to assist in the clinical trial. He chooses Krystal, Krystal of all people, to watch that damn printer while he goes around and cuts people open. Sehun can do that! Sehun is a great babysitter for things that don’t actually move around and poop and cry!

“Why’d you choose her? Why her and not me?” Sehun confronts Yifan.

“You’re acting like a kid, Sehun,” scolds Yifan.

“But this is you and me! Me and you! I’m the one that’s on your service the most; you asked me for help in thinking of a proposal. And now that you have the funding and the printer, you’re throwing me away?” Sehun pouts. “Yifan!”

“Sorry, Sehun. I’ve made my choice.” Krystal is already waiting in the lab, going over Yifan’s proposal and trying to understand the machine. “Being a doctor isn’t all about raw talent. Sometimes you need hard work too.”

Yifan closes the door to the lab. “I can work hard too!” Sehun yells, eyeing the printer through the small glass window in the door. He’s infinitely jealous of Krystal right now.

Meanwhile, Krystal is already starting to have one of her common panic attacks. Yifan is overloading her brain with information, but she has to do this. She has to do well.

“We’ll start by printing basic things. After making sure that the machine works, we can start trying them on organic things and see if a perfectly healthy animal would accept this in its body. If all goes well, we can start screening our patients.” Yifan strokes the machine gently. “Was that too much in one day?”

“No! I’m fine,” insists Krystal. She takes the binders from the table. “I’m supposed to study all of this?”

“Yes, that’s the general information and care guidelines for the printer. I need you to be watching this every time you’re in the hospital. If something happens, even the tiniest odd sound, I need you to report it. What this thing prints will go into someone’s body and nobody wants to endanger another human being because of a little glitch. You understand?”

She nods, taking a seat and starting with the content of the binders. Truth be told, she’s gone through all of these while Yifan was out there, trying to keep Sehun away from his research, but she has to look like she’s a little unprepared and overwhelmed. That’s her image, and now she knows that Yifan chose her because she always worked hard. She has to play the part.

Deep inside, she’s dancing and walking on sunshine after finally beating Sehun in something. Sure, Sehun is one of Krystal’s closest friends, but she won’t give up the opportunity to be part of something ground-breaking just because he’s probably going to be better at it. Boy Wonder is just a normal kid after all, she thinks to herself.

“You wouldn’t want my job, Sehun,” groans Krystal. “You think it’s simple but you have to pay very close attention to something that doesn’t even move. I feel like these attendings have some sort of hidden deal where they give me the most boring jobs out there with the promise of something great as a reward. Well I’m done with being maneuvered into the boring jobs! I want in on the action!”

“Let’s switch! I’m sure Kyungsoo would rather have you helping him out in the emergency room than me grumbling around and trying to seem nice to annoying people who panic too much,” Sehun suggests. Krystal shakes her head, turning away from Sehun.

“You’re just trying to trick me into doing something that I’ll regret once Yifan’s printer really starts working. I refuse to lose an opportunity that only comes once in a lifetime.”

“You’re just an assistant! It’s not that special.”

“So? If we switch, you’ll be just an assistant too. I don’t think you really appreciate the importance of the job, do you?” Krystal smirks and puts her scarf on as they exit the hospital. Taemin, Yuta and Seulgi were left behind, forced to stay in the hospital all night while being trapped in surgery with their attendings.

Zitao’s tired after a long surgery with Chanyeol, and Jongin spent his entire day with Joonmyun. Speaking of him, Sehun sends a quick text to tell him that he won’t be there later tonight, should Joonmyun decide to come home. Minseok kept Sehun busy by forcing him to review a patient’s file to figure out what went wrong during Minseok’s surgery on her. And Krystal, well, she’s been having fun watching a printer do nothing all day.

“It’s okay, Sehun. We allow visits,” she giggles, “but no touching and no rude corrections to something that a certified doctor has thought of himself.”

Sehun scowls. “I hate you.”

Jongin walks into the lab with two cups of coffee. “Hey,” he mumbles. It’s two in the morning and Krystal’s on her overnight shift, probably too tired to even try to do something. The coffee actually helps her, making her suddenly active.

“Hey!” Her voice is a little too loud for the closed space, but Jongin’s fine. “That coffee is really effective by the way. Which vending machine did you buy this from?”

“The one on the second floor, on the other side of the building as our lockers.” He sips from his coffee. “It’s the same as every single one of the other machines, but it tastes great because you’re already half-asleep on your chair.”

She giggles. “That’s true.”

They don’t really say much. They focus on drinking their coffee and staying awake. Jongin is seated close to Krystal, thighs almost touching. It’s alright; they’ve been close since they met in med school.

“Have you ever spent a long, long time just thinking about being a doctor?” Krystal asks. “Everyday, when I get more than a minute of complete silence, I start thinking of all the reasons why I chose this path in life.”

“It’s good. It’s a good path. You get money and you help people and you learn a lot. It’s really exciting.” Jongin looks up, a dazed look in his eyes. “The thrill I get when I dance is similar but also very different. The thrill of dancing is all about me; everyone’s looking at me and cheering for me and treating me like a star. Being a doctor, the star is your patient. The star is the person whose life you’re going to change, in a good or bad way.

“I really miss dancing. I haven’t had the time ever since I became an intern. Sehun and I shared this between us.”

“Oh really?” Krystal asks, intrigued.

“Believe it or not, Sehun was once interested in something other than cutting people open.” The thought of Sehun back then seems so far from who he is now. “Boy Wonder was once just a boy.”

Krystal puts her cup down. “To be honest, I’m jealous of you now that I heard you talking about your passion. Isn’t it great to love doing something? The only thing I love doing is running around and helping people who are too busy panicking to realize that they could die.”

They laugh again, but this time, Krystal is abruptly cut off by Jongin’s lips on hers. He tastes like coffee, a little more bitter than the taste on her tongue. Her hands are magically behind his neck, fingers locking and pulling him closer to her. He has a hand cupping her cheek, the other resting on his lap. It starts out slow, like two teenagers fumbling in the dark, and then Jongin licks her bottom lip and the taste of her clouds his mind then she drags her nails down his arm then they’re kissing like they don’t need air.

Krystal’s content with kissing him like this, but then his pager beeps and slowly, unwillingly, they pull away from each other. There are very light red welts on his arm from her long scratch a while ago. Jongin pecks her lips, once, twice, thrice, and stands up, leaving her with the incredible memory of his lips on hers and not as much regret as she thought she would feel. What’s there to regret when both of them were clearly enjoying it?

Krystal turns around and faces the printer. “Well?” It doesn’t respond. “Come on, do something so that I won’t end up falling asleep again.”

She sighs. “What am I doing with my life, really?”

Zitao’s trying to cook again. Sehun can figure that out as soon as he wakes up because the house smells something’s burning. Sehun grabs clean clothes and walks out of his room. Just as expected, Zitao is making burned pancakes.

“Are you trying again?” asks Sehun. Zitao doesn’t reply, but he does glare harshly at him.

“One day, I’m going to cook something that won’t be as black as coal.” Sehun laughs at him. “It’s going to happen!”

“Sure it will,” Sehun shouts back before he enters the shower. He thinks of Yifan and that damn printer, of Joonmyun falling asleep on his shoulder when they went out to eat dinner a few nights ago, of Yifan and that damn printer.

Surprisingly, Jongin hasn’t come home all night. Taemin isn’t there too, but then again, he doesn’t actually live here. Sehun drives that day, the bitter taste of burned pancakes still on his tongue. Zitao was insistent that he must eat some or else they’ll never talk ever again. Sehun isn’t completely afraid of that, but Zitao usually pulls out the cute attacks after he attempts to threaten you. It’s too early in the morning for Zitao to think he’s cute.

Jongin’s asleep in the locker room. His pager’s right beside his ear, so if anyone was to page him, he’d be awake in a second. He looks peaceful but tired. Sehun leaves him alone.

Taemin’s sitting on the floor, playing games on his phone. “Where have you guys been? You missed all the fun!”

“We were at home, getting sleep like other normal people,” replies Zitao. Taemin scoffs.

“I’ve been awake for sixty-three hours. Who needs to be normal when you have coffee and surgeries?” Sehun whacks his head and Taemin starts giggling uncontrollably.

“I always knew we’d be the normal ones,” Sehun says to Zitao. “Even in our internship year, we were the only ones who stayed sane.”

“Jongin’s the helpless puppy who follows everyone who pulls rank on him; Taemin’s addicted to caffeine; Krystal’s been neurotic and jumpy and obsessed with staying in the emergency room ever since day one. It’s been laid out for us since we first put on those scrubs.”

Just in time, Krystal enters the room, eyes drooping and body slouching. She pushes Jongin off the bench and lies down. He sits up and scrambles to get on his feet, frantic eyes looking around him.

“Was I paged? Am I late? Did they fire me?” His hands are shaking too much for him to read his pager and check if someone tried to call him.

“Shut up. I’m trying to sleep,” Krystal grumbles. Jongin scowls at her and washes his face in the bathroom.

“That’s it. All of you should go home and get some sleep. I’m sure no one wants to see residents walking around like zombies.” Sehun pulls them all out of the room, throwing their bags at them. “Go home!” He slams the door in front of their faces.

Krystal wakes up to the scent of instant noodles. She sits up, stretches, tries to remember how she arrived at Jongin’s apartment, and stands up. Taemin and Jongin are already eating at the dining table, and Jongin moves to make some more for Krystal.

Sort-of-real food tastes heavenly in her mouth after an entire day of coffee, chips and sleep deprivation. Taemin finishes his bowl first and washes it in the sink, leaving the room to take a shower first. Now she’s left with Jongin and a part of her knows that this is supposed to be awkward or really, really hot, but she feels pretty okay.

He waits for her to finish before the wash the dishes together. Krystal likes how he’s too nice to her, almost to the point that she wants him to leave her alone and let her be. Instead, she tiptoes and kisses him on the corner of his lips before wiping her hands dry.

“I should go home and take a shower. Thanks for letting me crash, by the way.” She smiles and picks her bag up. Jongin washes the rest of the dishes with a smile on his face and a ridiculous blush on his cheeks.

He’s watching TV when Taemin sits down across him and stares at him. “What?” Jongin asks.

“Why are you smiling?”

Jongin didn’t notice until Taemin pointed it out. He wipes his face. “Sorry about that.”

“Is something going on?” Taemin leans forward. “Does it involve Krystal?”

Jongin looks away, ignoring the shit-eating grin on Taemin’s face. “You can’t be serious.” Jongin stays silent. “You like her?”

“We made out. It happened.” Jongin still can’t get the feeling of her lips out of his mind. It’s all too clear in his mind, and he’s sort of hoping that it’s like that for Krystal too.

Taemin reaches forward and pats Jongin on the shoulder. “You go for it, man. She probably likes you a lot to even touch you. Just be careful.”

Jongin frowns. “Why?”

“Well, Krystal’s picky when it comes to guys. It’s a good thing that you passed her standards. Her family though… yikes. It’s not easy to get past the owners of one of the largest investment companies in Korea.” Taemin shakes his head. “Just be careful, Jongin.”

The variety show on TV isn’t processing in Jongin’s mind. All he can think about is Krystal, neurotic girl who spends all her time helping people and running around. He’s never seen Krystal Jung, a daughter in the famous Jung family, known for their risky and ruthless business deals that yield great results for both parties. He’s never seen Krystal Jung, the pretty girl on TV who would sit down with her father and mother and sister during the evening news to talk about the economy or other things like that. He’s always just seen Krystal, a perfectly normal, real girl.

And now that he’s seeing Krystal Jung, he doesn’t know if the Krystal that he’s always had his eyes on is worth it.

“Good morning, Miss Choi,” Minseok greets. She rolls her eyes at him.

“Come on, I’ve been here for nearly a week. Didn’t I tell you to call me Sooyoung?” She smiles at him, albeit weakly.

“So later today, I’ll drain the cyst in your brain. It’s a fairly simple operation, so there’s no need to worry that much,” Minseok explains.

“Why worry when I have one of the best neurosurgeons in the country operating on me?” she asks cheekily. “I’m sure that I’ll be fine.”

“Well I have Taemin with me, and I don’t know if he’s as trustworthy as I am when it comes to these things.” Sooyoung laughs while Taemin frowns and hits his boss playfully with the scans in his hand. “I’m kidding; Taemin has been on my service for a while now, and he’s very attentive. You’re in good hands, Sooyoung.”

Taemin hands him the scans of her brain. Minseok’s face contorts into a deep frown.

“Sooyoung, it seems like you have a small tumor in your brain. It’s not that large and it doesn’t seem to hit any part of your brain dangerously. I’ll keep it there for a while and let’s focus on the more urgent cyst, alright?” Sooyoung nods. “Taemin, please update her chart.”

“Yes, sir,” he mutters, taking a seat on the couch and placing the board on his lap.

“I’m going to be fine, right?” Sooyoung asks. “I’m in law school and I don’t want to mess this up. My parents have supported me through all of this, and I just want to be a good lawyer for them.”

Taemin smiles at her. “You’ll be perfectly fine, Sooyoung.”

“Alright, you see that cyst?” Taemin nods. “Get the needle and drain.” Taemin drains all of the fluid in the cyst, and it’s done.

“Good job, Taemin. Quick and clean, right?”

“Yeah. That seemed straightforward enough.” Taemin steps back so Minseok can close the patient up.

“Minseok!” Jongdae bursts into the operating room. “Yifan needs to talk to you. It’s urgent, he said.”

Minseok sighs. “I bet the board is bothering him about the printer again.” He puts down the instruments. “Taemin, close her up. Jongdae, please watch over him.”

Taemin looks like a fish out of water. It’s the first time a specialist ever left him alone in the OR. Jongdae puts on his mask properly and stands beside him.

“Go ahead. Close her up--wait.” Jongdae leans closer. “Is that a tumor?”

“Yeah. Now that I’m really looking at it, it looks so easy to remove,” Taemin comments. Jongdae turns his head.

“That’s a risky thing to say, Taemin.” Nevertheless, Taemin takes the instruments that he needs to remove it.

“Jongdae,” Yixing warns from their side.

“This is dangerous,” he says, “but those margins are perfect. I don’t think you’d harm her.”

Taemin removes the tumor, as quickly and cleanly as the cyst. “It’s done,” he says. He closes her up and scrubs out.

Jongdae and Taemin see Minseok managing the OR schedule in the hall. He faces the two. “You’re done?”

“Yeah, and I removed the tumor.” Taemin almost feels proud until he sees the look of rage that passes through Minseok’s face.

“You what?” He drops the marker on the ledge. “Do you understand what you just did? She didn’t consent to a tumor removal! There was a plan, Taemin. We had a surgical plan that we’re supposed to follow. No more, no less. If she has even the slightest problem, she can sue us, the entire hospital, just for that.

“And you, Jongdae. You’re a fellow, someone who’s had enough training to know the difference between right and wrong. You know that you should have stopped him, but why didn’t you? Didn’t we spend six years investing on your education, training you to be the best? This isn’t a rookie’s mistake! You both have some sort of idea about what you can and can’t do!”

Minseok takes a deep breath after his loud rant. The entire lobby is looking at him, but he doesn’t care. “I’m going to check on Sooyoung and if something, anything, seems wrong, I’m going to have to be the one to take the blame for that.”

Jongin catches Krystal in a pantry. She’s leaning on the table, a cup of tea in her hands. She looks up and smiles at him.

“Who are you with today?” Krystal asks.

“Chanyeol.” He rubs his eyes. “He is exhausting.”

“I’m glad he doesn’t like me enough to force Yunho to put me in his service. He must really enjoy seeing you miserable,” Krystal teases.

“General surgery isn’t bad. I just don’t like too many lame jokes but not enough experience.” Jongin starts making coffee for himself. It’s not that he doesn’t like Chanyeol; it’s just that he wants to get more work done.

“You’re starting to sound like Sehun,” Krystal comments. Oops. Did he say that out loud? “Yeah, you did.”

She laughs as he fumbles and nearly drops the pot. Jongin looks around the cupboards. “Where’s the creamer?”

“Behind me.” Jongin walks towards her, bodies close before he stops. Right now, all he has to do is lean down a little and they’d be kissing, they’d touch and connect and both of them would feel the incredible warmth of attraction that neither of them can deny.

But Jongin reaches behind her and shakes his head. He takes the packet of creamer and tears it open, pouring it into his coffee. He waves goodbye at her and all she can do is stare. This is strange. She felt it again; she knew that Jongin would kiss her. And she wanted it.

Krystal shakes her head. He must not be as into her as she thought. “It’s alright,” she tells herself. “It’s fine.”

Sooyoung opens her eyes and smiles at her parents. Minseok takes a deep breath. “Hi,” she murmurs. Her parents smile at each other brightly, happy to see that their daughter is fine.

When she sits up and tries to start chattering like usual, that’s when the smiles disappear from everyone’s faces. Only terrified sounds and garbled words escape her mouth, a scream, a few loud sobs. Minseok bows his head and accepts her father's shouting, her mother’s tears, her own tears and wailing. He accepts the anger, the sadness, the regret. He accepts the responsibility, the loud declaration that they’re suing the hospital. He accepts all the shame, and deep inside, he knows that it’s not purely Taemin’s fault.

They do meet with the lawyers after Sooyoung is discharged. What can they do? Aphasia is permanent, and her parents wouldn’t want anyone from Seoul Medical touching her ever again. Minseok tries to convince them not to press charges.

“Please, don’t do this. We’ll pay for everything: any sort of therapy she needs, any type of care; we’ll do it all,” Minseok begs. This is the first time he’s ever begged, but this is the only time he’s ever messed up so badly that he doesn’t even want to look at himself in the mirror. He doesn’t even want to remember that he exists, but he does.

“We don’t want your money. We want what’s right. What’s right is my daughter being able to speak and you getting what you deserve. Since we can’t have the first, we might as well bring you to justice,” her father seethes. Their lawyer places a hand on his shoulder, urging him to calm down.

“We will need to further discuss the bases of this case. Thank you for your time,” the lawyer says curtly. Minseok is left in the conference room, breathing deeply and telling himself that he deserves the worst for his stupidity.

“Minseok,” he looks up at Jungsoo, eyes remorseful, “I’ll talk to you some other time,” Jungsoo suddenly says. He leaves Minseok alone, letting him stay in his room of pity and self-hatred.

He gets paged. Minseok almost doesn’t want to get up.

Sehun sighs as Joonmyun scratches his scalp lightly, letting him lie down with his head on Joonmyun’s lap. Friday nights are always nice, spending most of their time lying down and watching TV and kissing and maybe if they have enough energy, they’ll have sex. But nowadays, they barely have enough energy for themselves, so they spend all their time resting.

That doesn’t stop Sehun from burying his nose in Joonmyun’s crotch, enjoying his musky scent and the way he squirms and pushes Sehun away. “No! Not tonight,” Joonmyun scolds.

Sehun pulls him down and kisses him softly. Joonmyun chuckles against his lips, looking for the remote and whacking it against Sehun’s head. The younger male pulls away, clutching his skull.

“What was that for?” he hisses, rolling away from Joonmyun.

“No sex. If you want to get off, go to the bathroom.” Joonmyun hides under his covers, wrapping himself in blankets so Sehun couldn’t jump on him.

“You’re cruel.” Sehun narrows his eyes. “I’m going home.”

His phone beeps. Jongin’s asking him to go home. “Apparently, I really do have to go home tonight. Sorry.”

Joonmyun drives him back to his apartment building, and they spend a good three and a half minutes making out in the car, only breaking apart when Jongin texts Sehun again. Joonmyun leaves him with a peck and then he drives away.

Sehun’s not surprised to see Taemin sitting on their couch. He is surprised to see him crying though, face puffy and eyes red.

“What’s going on?” he asks Zitao quietly.

“The thing with Minseok,” he whispers. “Now he’s banned from neuro.”

Sehun’s jaw drops. “He can do that?”

“He’s the head of it and Chief of Surgery. What can’t he do?” Zitao brings Taemin a glass of water.

“I just feel so bad,” Taemin sobs. “I wish I didn’t do it. I wish I just followed and did the right thing and none of this would have happened.”

Jongin hugs him, a sudden display of affection. Taemin accepts it and leans on him and Sehun feels the flood of pity for him. He’s afraid that one day, he’ll mess up too. One day, he won’t get a second chance like what he got with Joonmyun.

“They’re not pressing charges,” Jungsoo announces. Minseok breathes a sigh of relief, but he knows that it isn’t over.

He nods and goes back to signing papers and reading new policies that the board wants to implement. It’s tiring, what he does everyday, but he does it because it’s what right.

Minseok’s eyes wander to the picture frame on the other table, a picture of his family smiling and looking happy. Behind the smiles and happy eyes, Minseok feels his father hitting his back and forcing him to sit up properly so that they would look nice and sees his grandmother’s judging glare directed to him before she faces the camera and smiles too. He remembers the kiss on his cheek from his mother though, a distant memory that Minseok doesn’t usually dwell on.

What’s going to happen when his father hears about this case? How much of a disappointment will he look like after his father finds out?

There’s a knock on the door. It’s a nurse. “Sir, they need you in the emergency room.”

Minseok stands up and pushes away the weak kid that he was before. Now he’s Chief, and he’s the one responsible for holding all these people together.

PART 4

fandom:exo, pairing:kris/luhan, pairing:baekhyun/chen, with:zhang liyin, rating:nc-17, pairing:lay/luhan, pairing:sehun/suho, !fanfic, pairing:kyungsoo/xiumin

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