The Sad and Noble Story of DuckWaffle
So, on a complete whim, I decided I needed some LOLs and downloaded Furcadia. For those of who you don't know what Furcadia is; it's a multi-player online RP that revolves around digital avatars in a digital world. ...I'm sure there's an easier way to say that, but I can't remember.
And, as usual, I like laughing my ass off at furries.
Here we have DuckWaffle, the golden bovine. She is a gentle soul, and has not yet been tarnished by the horrors of furmanity. (I have no idea what the fuck those other people were talking about. They were morons.)
(Also, I may have attracted attention because I was repeatedly running into walls and shouting "HURRR" for everybody to hear.)
Soon, DuckWaffle found a friend! (Otherwise known as: I dragged everybody in IRC to witness the horror.)
And more friends!
Poor DuckWaffle. Just because she is a bovine, everybody feels the need to indulge in a little cow-tipping. Won't somebody think of the children? D:
(We try and figure out exactly how to yiff. But it's not that easy. You can give cookies, but you can't, say, 'Rip off pants' or 'Tear bodice'. You have to write it all out! These furries must be determined.)
In search of more adventure, DuckWaffle wanders off on her own. She finds a place called "Inflation Fetish Snope". What could this place be? Why are there fat furries?
(Sadly, I forgot to cap the part where I ran around and shouted "I am the glorious daughter of Sylar and James Wilson!")
Why are there helium tanks that she can get high off? Her parents didn't approve of this tomfoolery!
Further wandering led DuckWaffle to a zombie horde of furries. Like statues, they stood there, just waiting for somebody to sneak up on and yiff by surprise. Their faces - slack-jawed, drooling, slightly rotting - soon had DuckWaffle running for her life.
A veritable world of horrors. I fear for DuckWaffle's eyes.
Upon entering one place, DuckWaffle was transformed into an abomination! A fox with three tails! She no longer represents her proud bovine ancestry!
Distraught, DuckWaffle confesses her sin to the statue.
And then delves into the very depths of Hell.
Wait, what is this? PUBLIC YIFFING? NO, DUCKWAFFLE, AVERT YOUR VIRGIN EYES.
(One furry there was writing out paragraphs of purple-prose RP about her character. Soon, everybody told her to GTFO. Classy bunch.)
WATCH OUT KAMORIAH, HE'S GOING TO YIFF YOU BY SURPRISE. HE'S ANGRY.
Upon entering another place, poor DuckWaffle was transformed yet again. All these random transformations were making the young bovine faint from shock.
Although, that might have also been the public yiffing. That shit would make anybody choke themselves unconscious.
Then, in a place called 'Yiffy High School', she meets this... interesting character.
AAAAARRRRGHHHHH WHAT. DUCKWAFFLE, GET AWAY. GET AWAY BEFORE IT TRIES TO FORCE HER UNNATURAL AMOUNT OF WANGS ON YOU.
Ooh, a drunken hobo lying on the floor of the bar! Unfortunately there's no 'Kick' option.
NO, DUCKWAFFLE. Why have you bowed to peer pressure and gotten cosmetic surgery!? You don't need to be beautiful to be loved! That's just what furries say!
Oh GOD. DON'T GO IN THERE. THAT'S NOT FOR INNOCENT EYES.
THAT IS NOT A SWINGSET AS YOU KNOW IT.
Alas, poor DuckWaffle was lost forever to the sin and insanity of Furcadia. (Otherwise known as: I was so horrified that I immediately closed the program and shook for half an hour.)
And, as usual, I like laughing my ass off at furries.
Here we have DuckWaffle, the golden bovine. She is a gentle soul, and has not yet been tarnished by the horrors of furmanity. (I have no idea what the fuck those other people were talking about. They were morons.)
(Also, I may have attracted attention because I was repeatedly running into walls and shouting "HURRR" for everybody to hear.)
Soon, DuckWaffle found a friend! (Otherwise known as: I dragged everybody in IRC to witness the horror.)
And more friends!
Poor DuckWaffle. Just because she is a bovine, everybody feels the need to indulge in a little cow-tipping. Won't somebody think of the children? D:
(We try and figure out exactly how to yiff. But it's not that easy. You can give cookies, but you can't, say, 'Rip off pants' or 'Tear bodice'. You have to write it all out! These furries must be determined.)
In search of more adventure, DuckWaffle wanders off on her own. She finds a place called "Inflation Fetish Snope". What could this place be? Why are there fat furries?
(Sadly, I forgot to cap the part where I ran around and shouted "I am the glorious daughter of Sylar and James Wilson!")
Why are there helium tanks that she can get high off? Her parents didn't approve of this tomfoolery!
Further wandering led DuckWaffle to a zombie horde of furries. Like statues, they stood there, just waiting for somebody to sneak up on and yiff by surprise. Their faces - slack-jawed, drooling, slightly rotting - soon had DuckWaffle running for her life.
A veritable world of horrors. I fear for DuckWaffle's eyes.
Upon entering one place, DuckWaffle was transformed into an abomination! A fox with three tails! She no longer represents her proud bovine ancestry!
Distraught, DuckWaffle confesses her sin to the statue.
And then delves into the very depths of Hell.
Wait, what is this? PUBLIC YIFFING? NO, DUCKWAFFLE, AVERT YOUR VIRGIN EYES.
(One furry there was writing out paragraphs of purple-prose RP about her character. Soon, everybody told her to GTFO. Classy bunch.)
WATCH OUT KAMORIAH, HE'S GOING TO YIFF YOU BY SURPRISE. HE'S ANGRY.
Upon entering another place, poor DuckWaffle was transformed yet again. All these random transformations were making the young bovine faint from shock.
Although, that might have also been the public yiffing. That shit would make anybody choke themselves unconscious.
Then, in a place called 'Yiffy High School', she meets this... interesting character.
AAAAARRRRGHHHHH WHAT. DUCKWAFFLE, GET AWAY. GET AWAY BEFORE IT TRIES TO FORCE HER UNNATURAL AMOUNT OF WANGS ON YOU.
Ooh, a drunken hobo lying on the floor of the bar! Unfortunately there's no 'Kick' option.
NO, DUCKWAFFLE. Why have you bowed to peer pressure and gotten cosmetic surgery!? You don't need to be beautiful to be loved! That's just what furries say!
Oh GOD. DON'T GO IN THERE. THAT'S NOT FOR INNOCENT EYES.
THAT IS NOT A SWINGSET AS YOU KNOW IT.
Alas, poor DuckWaffle was lost forever to the sin and insanity of Furcadia. (Otherwise known as: I was so horrified that I immediately closed the program and shook for half an hour.)