Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay
Title: Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Morgana
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, (mentions of suicidal thoughts)
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: AU reincarnation Images flashed before him: castles morphing into golden eyes and raven hair, blood red lips giving way to fire, smiles and kisses dissolving only to be replaced with daggers.
Word Count: 5,402
Author’s Notes: Done for the merlin_holidays gift exchange ages ago, thought it was about time I post it here. Thanks to chelseacrazy,mydoctortennant and amythystluna for their wonderful and helpful beta work *hugs*
I would also like to take this opportunity to point out that I am taking part in the help_japan auction’s. Yes I am shameless, but it’s for a good cause. Anyway I’m offering a 300 word drabble for one help_japan lj-gift so if you’re interested please drop on by =D
He sits silently on the wooden dock, his legs tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped around himself as he watches the sky metamorphosing and the sun begin to fall from its throne, disappearing into the horizon and giving way to the moon. Its hazy reflection in the water ripples from the same breeze that ruffles his shaggy black hair. The wind is nippy; it worms its way through the layers of his shirts and reaches his ivory skin. The sensation prickles and makes the fine hairs stand on end, shivers coursing up and down his spine. He should go home, or at least go somewhere warm, but he can't find it in himself to move. His world slows as he stares into the lapping water. Time blurs to nothing.
Events swirl in his mind like a spinning top as he tries to make sense of it all. Just when he thought he had it figured out, that the pieces were stating to fall into place and he was at peace, the whole thing toppled over and forced him to start again. It was maddening to know these things, yet be oblivious to how they fit together. Images flashed before him: castles morphing into golden eyes and raven hair, blood red lips giving way to fire, smiles and kisses dissolving only to be replaced with daggers. He instinctively pressed the palms of his hands to his temples, applying force in an attempt to soothe the turmoil and pressure building in his brain, suffocating his ability to think.
“Merlin?”
The smooth voice disturbed the chaos of his thoughts. Lifting his head, he stared at the intruder. She stood before him, a slender figure in the fading light, her raven black hair swishing in the wind.
“Morgana,” he says flatly, indifferent to her presence. He’s already turned his gaze back to the horizon.
Morgana shifts on the spot, debating her next move. Merlin’s expression, which was usually so easy for her to read, was as blank as a stone carving’s. Self consciously, she bit her lip and tugged at the sleeves of her blue hoodie. There was so much tension between them now. What had once been so carefree and simple was now intensely complicated. Neither knew where they stood anymore, if they even stood at all. Morgana felt like she was drowning in the deep waters below the dock and it was her own fault. She had a knack for doing this, ruining a good thing. All her life she’d messed things up; it was why she’d spent most of that life moving from town to town, running away. She could run now. It would be so easy; she wouldn’t even have to say a word, just turn and walk away, not stopping until she was far, far away. Morgana sighed and lowered herself to sit next to him on the dock, inches apart. She couldn’t run away from him. Not from him. Allowing her legs to dangle off the side of the dock she kicked them back and forth, hands resting either side of her body. They sat in silence for what seemed like an age, both preoccupied with their own thoughts. Her presence eased his restlessness but at the same time caused the burning pressure in his brain to flare. Memories played over, past and past.
“I shouldn’t have told you.” Once again her voice breaks the silence. She keeps her eyes fixed on the water below, legs still swinging aimlessly. Her nerves are tangled up with the pressure of this moment. Make or break.
“I…” exhaling, Merlin runs a hand through his hair. He wishes he was mad at her. He wants to hate her, to kick and scream, but can’t bring himself to do it. He’d always suspected that there was more to the dreams. When she’d swooped into his life eleven months ago she had far too close a resemblance to the hazed images held in the deepest, darkest corners of his memory. There had been something far too familiar about her. What he hadn’t expected was that finally knowing the truth, knowing that he wasn’t crazy like everyone thought, would unbalance his world.
Morgana turns, fixing him with an intense gaze, waiting for him to continue. It was torture to wait for his next words, to see the conflict dancing across his features. She’d spent so much time easing his mind, bringing him to a place of true happiness; knowing she’s clouded him over once more bought her more heart ache than she ever thought possible. She just wanted him to talk to her, or shout at her, it didn’t matter. At least then if he was speaking, yelling, she knew there was hope. She needed hope.
“You what?” she prompted after an uncomfortable silence blanketed them once more.
“I just,” Merlin sighed, turning to meet her gaze “Why? Why you didn’t tell me? Right at the start, or at least after I told you about the dreams?”
She shifts, uncomfortable, and reclines to stare up into the darkening sky. In the distance the stars are waking up, ready to shine down on the blue and green sphere below them.
“Because…” she faltered. This was a lot harder than she’d expected it to be. When she’d made the decision to finally be truly honest with him she had known it would be difficult, but had never thought her heart would race so much. She could loose him now. The thought was enough to make her throat dry and tears well-up. Swallowing the lump and smothering her tears, she took a deep breath: it was now or never.
“I wanted you to suffer, to be confused, to feel what I felt back then.” Her voice is low, barely a whisper. He hears all the same.
Merlin turns the information over, attempting to wrap his head around it all. He’d first met her at school, bumping into her in the hallway. They’d hit it off right away, becoming friends quicker than you could say, well anything. Of course now he realised it was all planned. He hadn’t accidentally done anything; she’d walked deliberately into his path. He should have known really. Merlin didn’t have friends: the people in his town stayed well clear of him. He was the odd ball, the weirdo who spent most days clutching at his head. His parents had tried everything: moving a few times, and going to every doctor they could find. He’d been poked and prodded ‘til he was black and blue. However none of them ever found anything wrong with him. He was perfectly healthy-except, of course, for the intense nightmares and tendency to have hallucinations during the day. No medical explanation could be found.
Eventually, his parents had given up and accepted the fact that the ‘episodes’ weren’t going to go away. Merlin had learned to deal with being an outsider, and coped well enough, he thought. He was still alive wasn’t he? He had been lonely though, devastatingly so. The darkness of it had swallowed him whole, crushing his soul until life seemed like a pointless journey of pain. Yet still he kept going, if only for his parents’ sake, fighting, battling the ever present darkness ready to push him off the edge and into the vast abyss of nothing.
Pills, slit wrists, drowning, hanging; he’d considered every pathway there was to checking out early. He’d even made the plans. At least twenty ‘notes’ had been burned shortly after they were written. He just couldn’t bring himself to go through with it. His conscience, his heart wouldn’t let him, flooding his mind with memories of his mother’s kiss, his father’s smile. The small bits of happiness that kept him anchored to life. He hated that most of all, the contrast between desperately wanting to be able to end it all, and being incapable of causing such pain to the only people who made his life worthwhile. That was the thing about death though; in the end it wasn’t about you, it was about the people you left behind.
Only it hadn’t seemed so bad recently, not since she’d come into his life. In fact, for the first time in his life he’d been truly happy. She entered like a whirlwind, upturning his entire life, forcing him to do things he never even dreamed of. Opening his heart she had fixed the broken parts within him with friendship that soon turned to love. Through her presence in his life Merlin had come to appreciate the little things with a new found affection. A day spent lying on the grass watching the clouds, her head resting on his stomach was suddenly pleasurable, simple, easy and wonderful, and not the waste of time he would have labelled it before. His whole perspective on things had altered. Morgana had bought him back to life, given him a hunger for life, his life. It was completely cliché but true none the less, love really did heal you.
Within a few months, friendship was no longer enough. His attraction to her had been immediate, and the pull towards her only grew as he learned of her character, her kindness, her strength and fiery sprit. Each and every quality she possessed made his heart yearn for her. Even the things that drove him crazy-like the fact that, once she had an opinion, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut about it, and if you disagreed with her there was hell to pay-made his lips tug upwards in smiles that cracked his stone façade.
But girls like her didn’t end up with guys like him. She was from the stars; he was from the gutter. Lucky for him he was completely wrong. He still remembered the shell-shocked feeling that had flooded his body when she’d kissed him back. He hadn’t meant to kiss her of course. Up to that point he’d been desperately keeping a tight lid on his feelings. He dreaded the idea that if he were to expose them, she would reject him and their friendship would be lost forever. The fear of that prospect had been overwhelming. He didn’t know what he’d do without her. He couldn’t go back to being alone. Even now, when his emotions were so mixed, Merlin knew he didn’t want to, no he couldn’t lose her; the blow might well bring him to his knees.
They had been baking cakes at the time of their first kiss, laughing and chatting away with an ease that made life so delightfully simple. The soft music from the radio floated into the room, the gentle relaxed chords of John Mayer’s ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ (which consequently became their song) added to the carefree atmosphere. They’d sung along as they finished putting the last batch in the cooker, Morgana had leaned into him, hips swaying this way and that as her voice sung out ‘We got the afternoon, you got this room for two.” Her lips had curled upwards coyly, eyes sparking with things he couldn’t read. It had seemed so flirtatious; his brain of course dismissed the idea, just like it dismissed the idea when she continually took hold of his hand, or when she wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hers around his waist, hand slipping into his back pocket. It was just illogical for her to feel the same as him, impossible... but still, there was a voice in his head that had screamed “She likes you, she likes you! GO FOR IT!”
The soft glow of sunlight had streamed in from the window. The light caught upon her dark hair and ivory skin, making it shimmer magically. She had looked like a vision from heaven, her hair slightly mussed, a small trickle of perspiration hovering on her brow from all the cooking. Her eyes had held a spark of fire, causing his own to soften with affection. Merlin had automatically continued to sing along with the lyrics, ‘One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue.” Morgana had chosen that moment to lick the wooden spoon covered with leftover cake batter. Merlin’s jaw had slackened, his voice fading off. Tilting his head sideways he’d studied her with curiosity; he’d had the feeling that she’d timed that perfectly on purpose; she had a flare for the dramatic that way, but there was still that doubt clawing at him, holding him back. That was until she had mouthed the words “And if you want love we’ll make it,” with a coy half smile as she looked up at him.
Merlin couldn’t help himself; his eyes had flashed, and he’d let his instincts take over. Before he’d even known what he was doing their lips were pressed together. The first thought he’d had was one of sheer panic: he had almost pushed himself back, ready to beg forgiveness, but then her lips were moving against his and his body relaxed, his mind easing. All he could think about then, was how wonderful and natural it all felt. Like two puzzle pieces fixing together in harmony. Her lips were indeed like candy, sweet and delicious, and made him crave more of the flavour. She pressed flush against him, her palms pressed against his shoulder blades to hold him close. Merlin’s own hands had automatically come to rest at her hips, fingertips gripped onto the material of her jeans as he played with the loops and brushed the small patch of skin exposed as her top rode up. When finally they broke apart for air, Merlin stared at her, biting down on his lip, and waited for her to tell him it had been a mistake. She only smiled softly and sighed against his lips.
“Finally!”
He couldn’t hide the joy as the words sunk in; Merlin had broken into the widest of smiles, stretched from ear to ear. He’d laughed with abandonment as he pressed his forehead to hers and pulled her closer into him. He’d rubbed his nose against hers as she’d giggled like a school girl. Unable to get their fill they’d kissed over and over.
It had been a few months after that day that he’d finally confessed his deepest darkest thoughts of suicide. She’d known about his troubles before then; she had been helping him with them pretty much from the start. Even when she didn’t know it. However he’d never told her outright her just how dark he’d gotten. He’d withheld from her the fear he held about how easy it would be to go back there. Some things are hard to tell; even to the people you love and trust most. In fact, that was the reason it was so difficult. You didn’t want them to know you suffered, because it would cause them suffering too. The weight of those moments of darkness weighed on him heavily still. Even when he was so blissfully happy with her, sometimes he’d still suffer from the feeling of inadequacy. Morgana was always telling him to let go and share the load. Eventually he found he wanted to be honest, to open up that part of himself to her. Let her in fully. He knew she wouldn’t run away; if she was going to leave she would have done so long before now, but the thought of telling her still made him shiver in apprehension and dread.
She hadn’t done any of the things he’d feared though, hadn’t looked at him with distain or as if the revelation had changed anything. In fact, she’d done nothing but gaze at him, her eyes sparkling with concern and brimming with unshed tears as she walked over and sat on his lap. She’d rubbed his shoulders soothingly a few times before wrapping her arms tightly around his neck in the fiercest of hugs. Morgana crushed the breath out of him with the intensity of the embrace, and kissed him a million times over, all the while telling him how brave and strong he was.
“I’m not strong, I’m weak.” He’d murmured into the silky skin of her neck, head burrowed into the crease as he’d fought back tears.
“That’s not true. You didn’t do it Merlin.” Morgana whispered as she’d comforted him, hands stroking his hair.
“But I wanted to...I” Merlin lifted his head as he spoke desperately.
“Shush will you, I’m trying to give a motivational speech here.” Morgana had cut in affectionately, covering his mouth with her hand. He’d smiled against her palm and raised his eyebrows in a gesture for her to continue before he planted a chaste kiss to her palm as she lowered it. She had kissed him once, twice, in return before speaking.
“Look, I think at one point or another everyone thinks ‘Maybe it’s easy to just not be here, to give up.’ But you didn’t give up, and that takes a hell of a lot of courage at the best of times, even more when you’re feeling so horrid.”
“Sometimes I still feel so lost, like I’m not good enough.”
Morgana had pressed her forehead against his brow, smiled softly, pushing gently as she sighed.
“We all struggle with that, trust me.”
His hand pressed against the small of her back. Merlin applied enough pressure to push her closer to him and let out a small puff of air as his eyes closed.
“You have me Merlin, I’m not going anywhere. I love you.” Her gentle and soothing words had washed over him like a fresh cool mist on a summer’s day. Opening his eyes he gazed at her, into the pools of her soul as his fingertips traced the curves of her face, played with a strand of hair before he tucked it smoothly behind her ear.
“I love you.” He had breathed, softly caressing her face. “You know it has nothing to do with you; you make me so happy, you know that right?” A small hint of panic had crept into his tone; he was so concerned about causing her pain. Morgana had smiled and smacked his arm playfully.
“Don’t be daft, of course I know that! Besides, it couldn’t possibly be me, after all. I’m fantastic.”
Merlin had chuckled, kissed the tip of her nose as he spoke, his tone overflowing with love.
“That you are.”
Lips brushed against each other delicately, hands caressed skin, leaving trails of goosebumps and warmth. Pulling back slightly, Morgana had whispered into his open mouth on a breath tender and loving.
“We’ll carry each other.”
That night they’d finally consummated their love. For it being such a physical act, Merlin had found it incredibly spiritual. To be so intimate with someone, so close that it feels they can almost touch your soul with their fingertips was oddly both exposing and reassuring. With the touch of her lips at his temple, fingers rubbing soft circles into his scalp, the honey like warmth of her naked body entangled with his, skin to skin, heart to heart, he’d been able to sleep without restlessness for the first time ever. She soothed his agitated sprit, brought him peace. He hadn’t had a dark thought since then, although the dreams still lingered. At least, not until today. Not till he found out that his visions of castles, kings, knights, and the dark haired beauty full of poison were in fact real. That they were memories of another life, and that his girlfriend was the same dark haired villainess from the dreams.
“I wanted you to suffer, to be confused, to feel what I felt…back then.”
Merlin stirs from his thoughts, coming back into the present.
“Was any of it real?” He doesn’t look at her. It’s too much of an effort; the strain on his heart might collapse if he does. He doesn’t look, but in the corner of his eye he sees her face contorting from sheer desperation and fear. She sits upright once more, hand reaching over and grabbing his.
“It was all real.”
Merlin yanks his hands free of her grasp and tries to ignore the slight whimper that catches in her throat, as if he’s inflicted the worse of pains. He tries to ignore the ache it causes him in return.
“Don’t lie to me.” His voice is icy, tired. He just wants the truth. Morgana sighs heavily, hands rubbing down her jeans. She attempts to untangle her tongue as panic throbs within her. All her confidence is gone, stripped away. She’s nothing but a beating heart, a soul on trial. She will either leave here whole, or broken to pieces and unable to be fixed.
“Ok, it started out as an act, a way to…to get revenge.”
Merlin nods his head. She’s the same old Morgana, just as focussed on hate filled vengeance as before, he thinks, and makes to get up. Morgana grabs his arm.
“No, don’t, let me finish please, please…just hear me out.” She’s begging, and that’s so unlike her... or maybe he’s getting her confused with another Morgana he knew. His mind is all a muddle. Her face pierces his thoughts, cold and hard, lips blood red, hate glowing in her ever changing eyes.
“I don’t owe you anything,” he snaps.
“Please.” Her big bright eyes are glazed over; her face is soft, her lips a natural pink. Merlin sighs and sits back down. He can’t leave her like this. Morgana gives his arm a squeeze, but he shrugs her off. She doesn’t hesitate though, launching straight into a spew of words, desperate to make him understand, forgive, return.
“I remembered everything from the start. I had the dreams, like you, but I understood them, remembered it all. I could literally taste the poison you gave me, feel the anger, hate, and pain... I was a mess. It was a lot to deal with when you’re five.”
She smiles, trying to lighten the mood; it doesn’t work, but despite himself Merlin feels appreciation for the effort. He also feels remorse for the action; he recalls poisoning her, the deep struggle he went through, holding her in his arms as she shook and gasped for breath. He shudders. How could he do that? He couldn’t now…not ever.
“I was so mad; this haze of past grudges and feuds consumed me. I promised myself I’d find you and make you pay.”
Merlin licked his lips, trying his best to keep quiet, but it wasn’t like this was a piece of cake to hear. To know the woman you love, who saved you, was actually plotting your downfall.
Morgana scraped her nails against the wood planking, picking at a loose nail. “I thought I’d find you surrounded by friends.”
Merlin scoffs and slumps forward, looking over the edge into the watery depths.
“I sort of…well, I stalked you at first, for a couple of months actually.”
Merlin looks at her then, eyebrows raised high; turning her face away she blushes and bites her lip. He wants to kiss her, because god, the way she pulls that lip into her mouth is just so darn cute. And her hair is falling across her face perfectly, the sunset glow lighting her up. He restrains himself. He’s not sure he’ll ever kiss her again at this point.
“I saw that you were all alone, that you had the same visions, but that you didn’t understand.” She pauses a few seconds, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. He can tell she’s searching for the right words, trying to say things in a way that will least upset and piss him off.
“Part of me wanted to stop it then and there, but how could I resist? We’d swap places. You were ignorant of our past I was informed. It was just like Camelot and magic, only in reverse. It was just so amusingly ironic. Or at least, it was at the time.” She quickly adds when she sees the muscle in Merlin jaw twitch uncomfortably.
“I hope there’s a ‘but’ coming,” Merlin states, flexing his hands and toes in an attempt to calm himself.
“Buuuuuut…” Morgan chimes out; bumping her shoulder against his, a grin that doesn’t quite reach her eyes on her face. There she went again, trying to lighten the mood. She coughs when Merlin gives no reaction, and sighs for the umpteenth time.
“Well I got to know you, didn’t I? Saw how kind, sweet, goofy and loving you are. I could list about a thousand other adjectives, all good, but I don’t think you’re in the mood for that.”
“Not really, no.” He’s being difficult he knows, but he just can’t help himself; something inside of him is forcing him to say these things.
Blowing out air, Morgana rubs her hands over her face. He hates that he is hurting her, making this so much more difficult. Merlin knows deep down inside how challenging this must be for her, how hard it was to tell him. After all, she could have never told him, let him carry on believing they were just dreams; that would have been easy. Why didn’t she do that?
“You were nothing like the man from my memories, and well, I fell in love with you, Merlin.”
“Love?”
“Yes,” Morgana bites her bottom lip again, nervously. Merlin inwardly curses her because god, he just wants to kiss her. But this is Morgana, the woman who plotted the fall of Camelot and tried to kill him repeatedly.
“Why did you tell me, why not just leave it?” He really does wish his voice wasn’t so sharp, and then he’s angry for thinking that because really who cares? She deserves it doesn’t she?
“I didn’t want to pretend. You’ve been so honest with me about everything; I just wanted to do the same. I partly thought that maybe knowing would lessen the strain.” She answers calmly, trying to cover up the hurt in her eyes. He still sees, and it makes him feel queasy.
“When did the plotting stop then, after our first kiss, before, yesterday?” Merlin demands, torn between past and present.
“WAY before our first kiss, god Merlin! Basically a week after I met you.”
He laughs, a short burst of sound that slices open the air.
“Really?!” His tone is scornful. She can’t be serious.
“Yes Merlin, really… god I think I know my own feelings!” Morgana’s back straightens, her defensive walls coming down. She understands that he was mad, confused, but that didn’t mean he got to mock her feelings.
“You expect me to believe you gave up a lifetime’s worth of revenge plotting a few short days after meeting me?” Merlin rolls his eyes at the notion. Ridiculous.
Jaw twitching, Morgana answered through clenched teeth. “You know what? You can believe whatever the hell you want, but it’s the truth. I love you!”
“Do you? How could you do all that if you loved me?! How could you side with Mordred?” He’s staring at her now with such intensity that it makes her quiver a little, and reminds her of someone from long ago. The storm calms suddenly, or maybe they’re just in the eye of it, as she realises what was going on. Morgana smiles sadly.
“You see, now you’re getting blinded by the past. Not so easy to let go of when you remember, is it?” There’s no trace of mockery in her voice, just understanding and melancholy.
Merlin falters. Her words ring true; he runs a hand through his hair, tugging at it. God, this was a mess. He was stuck there, in a world of dragons, magic, and the pain of the past. No, he realises, he was forcing himself to remain locked there because of the betrayal ‘Merlin’ had felt, but he’s not that Merlin; not really. He may share memories and thoughts, but their lives are completely different, separate.
Readjusting so that he’s stretched out flat on the dock, he gazes up into the sky. Morgana does the same; slowly she shifts her hand sideways so that it’s a few centimetres away from his. Merlin feels the heat of her hand, creeping upon him, trickling up and down his entire body. He doesn’t fight it this time.
“I’m not her you know, I’m not. Well, maybe I am in some ways, but not in the ways that truly matter.”
“And I’m not him.” Merlin states, his voice returning to his normal tone as he slowly lets go of the voice reminding him of the ancient past.
“I know.”
“Does it still matter? What happened between us back then I mean?” He’s asking because he’s still not sure. Merlin had only recalled the life he had lived before a few short hours ago. He hadn’t had time to fully process the information... or maybe he had, but was just too scared to speak, to let it go entirely. After all, he’d been struggling under the weight of his dreams for so long. He needed her to say it instead.
Morgana shook her head and inched her hand closer. Merlin smiled a little and twitched his fingers towards her, because she’s right.
“You know what I think; I think back then there were two roads and we chose paths that led away from each other. Who was right, and who was wrong; I don’t really know. It doesn’t matter anymore, because we aren’t them.”
Merlin nodded; that made sense. It certainly summed up his thoughts on the subject, now that he was thinking with a clear mind. The Merlin of Camelot was so distant to him, cold and dead. He still possessed qualities of him, traces, but he was definitely not the same bloke.
“All I know, is I want us to be on the same path now. We’ll always be joined, I think that’s the way it just is, but this time, it should be for the right reasons. I mean maybe that’s why we’re here. Why I remembered. Not so that I could take revenge for a life I used to lead, but so we could avoid making the same mistakes again. To live our lives the way they should have been all those years ago. Together!”
Merlin thinks for a few moments, rolling her words over his mind again and again, seeing them from every angle of his life now and trying to forget the Merlin of yesteryear. He sighs as the storm in his mind ends, turning to face Morgana as he speaks.
“So you love me, huh?” There’s a hint of a smile already at his lips, and Morgana almost wants to cry.
“More than I can say!”
“Yeah,” He grins, ears rising up, eyes glinting with that cheerful playfulness she adores so much. Everything’s going to be okay now, she can tell, and the feeling of relief spreads through her like a tide. Reaching up with one hand Merlin bushes away the tears with his thumb, leaning over he kisses her cheek dry as he whispers “I love you too.” She sobs out a laugh of relief and presses harder into his lips.
Merlin’s other hand moves the last few inches to cover Morgana’s on the dock. Pulling back, Merlin stares at Morgana for what seems like an age, getting lost in her beauty all over, falling head over heels. She can’t stop smiling and biting that lip of hers, and her hair is falling in her face again. God, it makes him long for her until his bones feel as if they might collapse, or his body burst, he loves her so much.
“Damn, baby, you frustrated me…” he says, making sure his voice is flat and neutral. Morgana face reflects her confusion, for second he sees her panic, thinking he’s changed his mind and doesn’t love her at all. She’s about to speak when he quickly buries his mouth against her ear and croons out the familiar tune, making her shiver in delight.
“I know you’re mine, all mine, all mine but you look so good it hurts sometimes.”
Her giggle of pleasure makes his heart race and his soul soar. Morgana throws her arms around his neck, pulling him into her with such eagerness that she almost knocks them into the water below.
Together they sing against each other lips, through sloppy, desperate kisses.
“You’re body is a wonderland.”
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Morgana
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, (mentions of suicidal thoughts)
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: AU reincarnation Images flashed before him: castles morphing into golden eyes and raven hair, blood red lips giving way to fire, smiles and kisses dissolving only to be replaced with daggers.
Word Count: 5,402
Author’s Notes: Done for the merlin_holidays gift exchange ages ago, thought it was about time I post it here. Thanks to chelseacrazy,mydoctortennant and amythystluna for their wonderful and helpful beta work *hugs*
I would also like to take this opportunity to point out that I am taking part in the help_japan auction’s. Yes I am shameless, but it’s for a good cause. Anyway I’m offering a 300 word drabble for one help_japan lj-gift so if you’re interested please drop on by =D
He sits silently on the wooden dock, his legs tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped around himself as he watches the sky metamorphosing and the sun begin to fall from its throne, disappearing into the horizon and giving way to the moon. Its hazy reflection in the water ripples from the same breeze that ruffles his shaggy black hair. The wind is nippy; it worms its way through the layers of his shirts and reaches his ivory skin. The sensation prickles and makes the fine hairs stand on end, shivers coursing up and down his spine. He should go home, or at least go somewhere warm, but he can't find it in himself to move. His world slows as he stares into the lapping water. Time blurs to nothing.
Events swirl in his mind like a spinning top as he tries to make sense of it all. Just when he thought he had it figured out, that the pieces were stating to fall into place and he was at peace, the whole thing toppled over and forced him to start again. It was maddening to know these things, yet be oblivious to how they fit together. Images flashed before him: castles morphing into golden eyes and raven hair, blood red lips giving way to fire, smiles and kisses dissolving only to be replaced with daggers. He instinctively pressed the palms of his hands to his temples, applying force in an attempt to soothe the turmoil and pressure building in his brain, suffocating his ability to think.
“Merlin?”
The smooth voice disturbed the chaos of his thoughts. Lifting his head, he stared at the intruder. She stood before him, a slender figure in the fading light, her raven black hair swishing in the wind.
“Morgana,” he says flatly, indifferent to her presence. He’s already turned his gaze back to the horizon.
Morgana shifts on the spot, debating her next move. Merlin’s expression, which was usually so easy for her to read, was as blank as a stone carving’s. Self consciously, she bit her lip and tugged at the sleeves of her blue hoodie. There was so much tension between them now. What had once been so carefree and simple was now intensely complicated. Neither knew where they stood anymore, if they even stood at all. Morgana felt like she was drowning in the deep waters below the dock and it was her own fault. She had a knack for doing this, ruining a good thing. All her life she’d messed things up; it was why she’d spent most of that life moving from town to town, running away. She could run now. It would be so easy; she wouldn’t even have to say a word, just turn and walk away, not stopping until she was far, far away. Morgana sighed and lowered herself to sit next to him on the dock, inches apart. She couldn’t run away from him. Not from him. Allowing her legs to dangle off the side of the dock she kicked them back and forth, hands resting either side of her body. They sat in silence for what seemed like an age, both preoccupied with their own thoughts. Her presence eased his restlessness but at the same time caused the burning pressure in his brain to flare. Memories played over, past and past.
“I shouldn’t have told you.” Once again her voice breaks the silence. She keeps her eyes fixed on the water below, legs still swinging aimlessly. Her nerves are tangled up with the pressure of this moment. Make or break.
“I…” exhaling, Merlin runs a hand through his hair. He wishes he was mad at her. He wants to hate her, to kick and scream, but can’t bring himself to do it. He’d always suspected that there was more to the dreams. When she’d swooped into his life eleven months ago she had far too close a resemblance to the hazed images held in the deepest, darkest corners of his memory. There had been something far too familiar about her. What he hadn’t expected was that finally knowing the truth, knowing that he wasn’t crazy like everyone thought, would unbalance his world.
Morgana turns, fixing him with an intense gaze, waiting for him to continue. It was torture to wait for his next words, to see the conflict dancing across his features. She’d spent so much time easing his mind, bringing him to a place of true happiness; knowing she’s clouded him over once more bought her more heart ache than she ever thought possible. She just wanted him to talk to her, or shout at her, it didn’t matter. At least then if he was speaking, yelling, she knew there was hope. She needed hope.
“You what?” she prompted after an uncomfortable silence blanketed them once more.
“I just,” Merlin sighed, turning to meet her gaze “Why? Why you didn’t tell me? Right at the start, or at least after I told you about the dreams?”
She shifts, uncomfortable, and reclines to stare up into the darkening sky. In the distance the stars are waking up, ready to shine down on the blue and green sphere below them.
“Because…” she faltered. This was a lot harder than she’d expected it to be. When she’d made the decision to finally be truly honest with him she had known it would be difficult, but had never thought her heart would race so much. She could loose him now. The thought was enough to make her throat dry and tears well-up. Swallowing the lump and smothering her tears, she took a deep breath: it was now or never.
“I wanted you to suffer, to be confused, to feel what I felt back then.” Her voice is low, barely a whisper. He hears all the same.
Merlin turns the information over, attempting to wrap his head around it all. He’d first met her at school, bumping into her in the hallway. They’d hit it off right away, becoming friends quicker than you could say, well anything. Of course now he realised it was all planned. He hadn’t accidentally done anything; she’d walked deliberately into his path. He should have known really. Merlin didn’t have friends: the people in his town stayed well clear of him. He was the odd ball, the weirdo who spent most days clutching at his head. His parents had tried everything: moving a few times, and going to every doctor they could find. He’d been poked and prodded ‘til he was black and blue. However none of them ever found anything wrong with him. He was perfectly healthy-except, of course, for the intense nightmares and tendency to have hallucinations during the day. No medical explanation could be found.
Eventually, his parents had given up and accepted the fact that the ‘episodes’ weren’t going to go away. Merlin had learned to deal with being an outsider, and coped well enough, he thought. He was still alive wasn’t he? He had been lonely though, devastatingly so. The darkness of it had swallowed him whole, crushing his soul until life seemed like a pointless journey of pain. Yet still he kept going, if only for his parents’ sake, fighting, battling the ever present darkness ready to push him off the edge and into the vast abyss of nothing.
Pills, slit wrists, drowning, hanging; he’d considered every pathway there was to checking out early. He’d even made the plans. At least twenty ‘notes’ had been burned shortly after they were written. He just couldn’t bring himself to go through with it. His conscience, his heart wouldn’t let him, flooding his mind with memories of his mother’s kiss, his father’s smile. The small bits of happiness that kept him anchored to life. He hated that most of all, the contrast between desperately wanting to be able to end it all, and being incapable of causing such pain to the only people who made his life worthwhile. That was the thing about death though; in the end it wasn’t about you, it was about the people you left behind.
Only it hadn’t seemed so bad recently, not since she’d come into his life. In fact, for the first time in his life he’d been truly happy. She entered like a whirlwind, upturning his entire life, forcing him to do things he never even dreamed of. Opening his heart she had fixed the broken parts within him with friendship that soon turned to love. Through her presence in his life Merlin had come to appreciate the little things with a new found affection. A day spent lying on the grass watching the clouds, her head resting on his stomach was suddenly pleasurable, simple, easy and wonderful, and not the waste of time he would have labelled it before. His whole perspective on things had altered. Morgana had bought him back to life, given him a hunger for life, his life. It was completely cliché but true none the less, love really did heal you.
Within a few months, friendship was no longer enough. His attraction to her had been immediate, and the pull towards her only grew as he learned of her character, her kindness, her strength and fiery sprit. Each and every quality she possessed made his heart yearn for her. Even the things that drove him crazy-like the fact that, once she had an opinion, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut about it, and if you disagreed with her there was hell to pay-made his lips tug upwards in smiles that cracked his stone façade.
But girls like her didn’t end up with guys like him. She was from the stars; he was from the gutter. Lucky for him he was completely wrong. He still remembered the shell-shocked feeling that had flooded his body when she’d kissed him back. He hadn’t meant to kiss her of course. Up to that point he’d been desperately keeping a tight lid on his feelings. He dreaded the idea that if he were to expose them, she would reject him and their friendship would be lost forever. The fear of that prospect had been overwhelming. He didn’t know what he’d do without her. He couldn’t go back to being alone. Even now, when his emotions were so mixed, Merlin knew he didn’t want to, no he couldn’t lose her; the blow might well bring him to his knees.
They had been baking cakes at the time of their first kiss, laughing and chatting away with an ease that made life so delightfully simple. The soft music from the radio floated into the room, the gentle relaxed chords of John Mayer’s ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ (which consequently became their song) added to the carefree atmosphere. They’d sung along as they finished putting the last batch in the cooker, Morgana had leaned into him, hips swaying this way and that as her voice sung out ‘We got the afternoon, you got this room for two.” Her lips had curled upwards coyly, eyes sparking with things he couldn’t read. It had seemed so flirtatious; his brain of course dismissed the idea, just like it dismissed the idea when she continually took hold of his hand, or when she wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hers around his waist, hand slipping into his back pocket. It was just illogical for her to feel the same as him, impossible... but still, there was a voice in his head that had screamed “She likes you, she likes you! GO FOR IT!”
The soft glow of sunlight had streamed in from the window. The light caught upon her dark hair and ivory skin, making it shimmer magically. She had looked like a vision from heaven, her hair slightly mussed, a small trickle of perspiration hovering on her brow from all the cooking. Her eyes had held a spark of fire, causing his own to soften with affection. Merlin had automatically continued to sing along with the lyrics, ‘One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue.” Morgana had chosen that moment to lick the wooden spoon covered with leftover cake batter. Merlin’s jaw had slackened, his voice fading off. Tilting his head sideways he’d studied her with curiosity; he’d had the feeling that she’d timed that perfectly on purpose; she had a flare for the dramatic that way, but there was still that doubt clawing at him, holding him back. That was until she had mouthed the words “And if you want love we’ll make it,” with a coy half smile as she looked up at him.
Merlin couldn’t help himself; his eyes had flashed, and he’d let his instincts take over. Before he’d even known what he was doing their lips were pressed together. The first thought he’d had was one of sheer panic: he had almost pushed himself back, ready to beg forgiveness, but then her lips were moving against his and his body relaxed, his mind easing. All he could think about then, was how wonderful and natural it all felt. Like two puzzle pieces fixing together in harmony. Her lips were indeed like candy, sweet and delicious, and made him crave more of the flavour. She pressed flush against him, her palms pressed against his shoulder blades to hold him close. Merlin’s own hands had automatically come to rest at her hips, fingertips gripped onto the material of her jeans as he played with the loops and brushed the small patch of skin exposed as her top rode up. When finally they broke apart for air, Merlin stared at her, biting down on his lip, and waited for her to tell him it had been a mistake. She only smiled softly and sighed against his lips.
“Finally!”
He couldn’t hide the joy as the words sunk in; Merlin had broken into the widest of smiles, stretched from ear to ear. He’d laughed with abandonment as he pressed his forehead to hers and pulled her closer into him. He’d rubbed his nose against hers as she’d giggled like a school girl. Unable to get their fill they’d kissed over and over.
It had been a few months after that day that he’d finally confessed his deepest darkest thoughts of suicide. She’d known about his troubles before then; she had been helping him with them pretty much from the start. Even when she didn’t know it. However he’d never told her outright her just how dark he’d gotten. He’d withheld from her the fear he held about how easy it would be to go back there. Some things are hard to tell; even to the people you love and trust most. In fact, that was the reason it was so difficult. You didn’t want them to know you suffered, because it would cause them suffering too. The weight of those moments of darkness weighed on him heavily still. Even when he was so blissfully happy with her, sometimes he’d still suffer from the feeling of inadequacy. Morgana was always telling him to let go and share the load. Eventually he found he wanted to be honest, to open up that part of himself to her. Let her in fully. He knew she wouldn’t run away; if she was going to leave she would have done so long before now, but the thought of telling her still made him shiver in apprehension and dread.
She hadn’t done any of the things he’d feared though, hadn’t looked at him with distain or as if the revelation had changed anything. In fact, she’d done nothing but gaze at him, her eyes sparkling with concern and brimming with unshed tears as she walked over and sat on his lap. She’d rubbed his shoulders soothingly a few times before wrapping her arms tightly around his neck in the fiercest of hugs. Morgana crushed the breath out of him with the intensity of the embrace, and kissed him a million times over, all the while telling him how brave and strong he was.
“I’m not strong, I’m weak.” He’d murmured into the silky skin of her neck, head burrowed into the crease as he’d fought back tears.
“That’s not true. You didn’t do it Merlin.” Morgana whispered as she’d comforted him, hands stroking his hair.
“But I wanted to...I” Merlin lifted his head as he spoke desperately.
“Shush will you, I’m trying to give a motivational speech here.” Morgana had cut in affectionately, covering his mouth with her hand. He’d smiled against her palm and raised his eyebrows in a gesture for her to continue before he planted a chaste kiss to her palm as she lowered it. She had kissed him once, twice, in return before speaking.
“Look, I think at one point or another everyone thinks ‘Maybe it’s easy to just not be here, to give up.’ But you didn’t give up, and that takes a hell of a lot of courage at the best of times, even more when you’re feeling so horrid.”
“Sometimes I still feel so lost, like I’m not good enough.”
Morgana had pressed her forehead against his brow, smiled softly, pushing gently as she sighed.
“We all struggle with that, trust me.”
His hand pressed against the small of her back. Merlin applied enough pressure to push her closer to him and let out a small puff of air as his eyes closed.
“You have me Merlin, I’m not going anywhere. I love you.” Her gentle and soothing words had washed over him like a fresh cool mist on a summer’s day. Opening his eyes he gazed at her, into the pools of her soul as his fingertips traced the curves of her face, played with a strand of hair before he tucked it smoothly behind her ear.
“I love you.” He had breathed, softly caressing her face. “You know it has nothing to do with you; you make me so happy, you know that right?” A small hint of panic had crept into his tone; he was so concerned about causing her pain. Morgana had smiled and smacked his arm playfully.
“Don’t be daft, of course I know that! Besides, it couldn’t possibly be me, after all. I’m fantastic.”
Merlin had chuckled, kissed the tip of her nose as he spoke, his tone overflowing with love.
“That you are.”
Lips brushed against each other delicately, hands caressed skin, leaving trails of goosebumps and warmth. Pulling back slightly, Morgana had whispered into his open mouth on a breath tender and loving.
“We’ll carry each other.”
That night they’d finally consummated their love. For it being such a physical act, Merlin had found it incredibly spiritual. To be so intimate with someone, so close that it feels they can almost touch your soul with their fingertips was oddly both exposing and reassuring. With the touch of her lips at his temple, fingers rubbing soft circles into his scalp, the honey like warmth of her naked body entangled with his, skin to skin, heart to heart, he’d been able to sleep without restlessness for the first time ever. She soothed his agitated sprit, brought him peace. He hadn’t had a dark thought since then, although the dreams still lingered. At least, not until today. Not till he found out that his visions of castles, kings, knights, and the dark haired beauty full of poison were in fact real. That they were memories of another life, and that his girlfriend was the same dark haired villainess from the dreams.
“I wanted you to suffer, to be confused, to feel what I felt…back then.”
Merlin stirs from his thoughts, coming back into the present.
“Was any of it real?” He doesn’t look at her. It’s too much of an effort; the strain on his heart might collapse if he does. He doesn’t look, but in the corner of his eye he sees her face contorting from sheer desperation and fear. She sits upright once more, hand reaching over and grabbing his.
“It was all real.”
Merlin yanks his hands free of her grasp and tries to ignore the slight whimper that catches in her throat, as if he’s inflicted the worse of pains. He tries to ignore the ache it causes him in return.
“Don’t lie to me.” His voice is icy, tired. He just wants the truth. Morgana sighs heavily, hands rubbing down her jeans. She attempts to untangle her tongue as panic throbs within her. All her confidence is gone, stripped away. She’s nothing but a beating heart, a soul on trial. She will either leave here whole, or broken to pieces and unable to be fixed.
“Ok, it started out as an act, a way to…to get revenge.”
Merlin nods his head. She’s the same old Morgana, just as focussed on hate filled vengeance as before, he thinks, and makes to get up. Morgana grabs his arm.
“No, don’t, let me finish please, please…just hear me out.” She’s begging, and that’s so unlike her... or maybe he’s getting her confused with another Morgana he knew. His mind is all a muddle. Her face pierces his thoughts, cold and hard, lips blood red, hate glowing in her ever changing eyes.
“I don’t owe you anything,” he snaps.
“Please.” Her big bright eyes are glazed over; her face is soft, her lips a natural pink. Merlin sighs and sits back down. He can’t leave her like this. Morgana gives his arm a squeeze, but he shrugs her off. She doesn’t hesitate though, launching straight into a spew of words, desperate to make him understand, forgive, return.
“I remembered everything from the start. I had the dreams, like you, but I understood them, remembered it all. I could literally taste the poison you gave me, feel the anger, hate, and pain... I was a mess. It was a lot to deal with when you’re five.”
She smiles, trying to lighten the mood; it doesn’t work, but despite himself Merlin feels appreciation for the effort. He also feels remorse for the action; he recalls poisoning her, the deep struggle he went through, holding her in his arms as she shook and gasped for breath. He shudders. How could he do that? He couldn’t now…not ever.
“I was so mad; this haze of past grudges and feuds consumed me. I promised myself I’d find you and make you pay.”
Merlin licked his lips, trying his best to keep quiet, but it wasn’t like this was a piece of cake to hear. To know the woman you love, who saved you, was actually plotting your downfall.
Morgana scraped her nails against the wood planking, picking at a loose nail. “I thought I’d find you surrounded by friends.”
Merlin scoffs and slumps forward, looking over the edge into the watery depths.
“I sort of…well, I stalked you at first, for a couple of months actually.”
Merlin looks at her then, eyebrows raised high; turning her face away she blushes and bites her lip. He wants to kiss her, because god, the way she pulls that lip into her mouth is just so darn cute. And her hair is falling across her face perfectly, the sunset glow lighting her up. He restrains himself. He’s not sure he’ll ever kiss her again at this point.
“I saw that you were all alone, that you had the same visions, but that you didn’t understand.” She pauses a few seconds, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. He can tell she’s searching for the right words, trying to say things in a way that will least upset and piss him off.
“Part of me wanted to stop it then and there, but how could I resist? We’d swap places. You were ignorant of our past I was informed. It was just like Camelot and magic, only in reverse. It was just so amusingly ironic. Or at least, it was at the time.” She quickly adds when she sees the muscle in Merlin jaw twitch uncomfortably.
“I hope there’s a ‘but’ coming,” Merlin states, flexing his hands and toes in an attempt to calm himself.
“Buuuuuut…” Morgan chimes out; bumping her shoulder against his, a grin that doesn’t quite reach her eyes on her face. There she went again, trying to lighten the mood. She coughs when Merlin gives no reaction, and sighs for the umpteenth time.
“Well I got to know you, didn’t I? Saw how kind, sweet, goofy and loving you are. I could list about a thousand other adjectives, all good, but I don’t think you’re in the mood for that.”
“Not really, no.” He’s being difficult he knows, but he just can’t help himself; something inside of him is forcing him to say these things.
Blowing out air, Morgana rubs her hands over her face. He hates that he is hurting her, making this so much more difficult. Merlin knows deep down inside how challenging this must be for her, how hard it was to tell him. After all, she could have never told him, let him carry on believing they were just dreams; that would have been easy. Why didn’t she do that?
“You were nothing like the man from my memories, and well, I fell in love with you, Merlin.”
“Love?”
“Yes,” Morgana bites her bottom lip again, nervously. Merlin inwardly curses her because god, he just wants to kiss her. But this is Morgana, the woman who plotted the fall of Camelot and tried to kill him repeatedly.
“Why did you tell me, why not just leave it?” He really does wish his voice wasn’t so sharp, and then he’s angry for thinking that because really who cares? She deserves it doesn’t she?
“I didn’t want to pretend. You’ve been so honest with me about everything; I just wanted to do the same. I partly thought that maybe knowing would lessen the strain.” She answers calmly, trying to cover up the hurt in her eyes. He still sees, and it makes him feel queasy.
“When did the plotting stop then, after our first kiss, before, yesterday?” Merlin demands, torn between past and present.
“WAY before our first kiss, god Merlin! Basically a week after I met you.”
He laughs, a short burst of sound that slices open the air.
“Really?!” His tone is scornful. She can’t be serious.
“Yes Merlin, really… god I think I know my own feelings!” Morgana’s back straightens, her defensive walls coming down. She understands that he was mad, confused, but that didn’t mean he got to mock her feelings.
“You expect me to believe you gave up a lifetime’s worth of revenge plotting a few short days after meeting me?” Merlin rolls his eyes at the notion. Ridiculous.
Jaw twitching, Morgana answered through clenched teeth. “You know what? You can believe whatever the hell you want, but it’s the truth. I love you!”
“Do you? How could you do all that if you loved me?! How could you side with Mordred?” He’s staring at her now with such intensity that it makes her quiver a little, and reminds her of someone from long ago. The storm calms suddenly, or maybe they’re just in the eye of it, as she realises what was going on. Morgana smiles sadly.
“You see, now you’re getting blinded by the past. Not so easy to let go of when you remember, is it?” There’s no trace of mockery in her voice, just understanding and melancholy.
Merlin falters. Her words ring true; he runs a hand through his hair, tugging at it. God, this was a mess. He was stuck there, in a world of dragons, magic, and the pain of the past. No, he realises, he was forcing himself to remain locked there because of the betrayal ‘Merlin’ had felt, but he’s not that Merlin; not really. He may share memories and thoughts, but their lives are completely different, separate.
Readjusting so that he’s stretched out flat on the dock, he gazes up into the sky. Morgana does the same; slowly she shifts her hand sideways so that it’s a few centimetres away from his. Merlin feels the heat of her hand, creeping upon him, trickling up and down his entire body. He doesn’t fight it this time.
“I’m not her you know, I’m not. Well, maybe I am in some ways, but not in the ways that truly matter.”
“And I’m not him.” Merlin states, his voice returning to his normal tone as he slowly lets go of the voice reminding him of the ancient past.
“I know.”
“Does it still matter? What happened between us back then I mean?” He’s asking because he’s still not sure. Merlin had only recalled the life he had lived before a few short hours ago. He hadn’t had time to fully process the information... or maybe he had, but was just too scared to speak, to let it go entirely. After all, he’d been struggling under the weight of his dreams for so long. He needed her to say it instead.
Morgana shook her head and inched her hand closer. Merlin smiled a little and twitched his fingers towards her, because she’s right.
“You know what I think; I think back then there were two roads and we chose paths that led away from each other. Who was right, and who was wrong; I don’t really know. It doesn’t matter anymore, because we aren’t them.”
Merlin nodded; that made sense. It certainly summed up his thoughts on the subject, now that he was thinking with a clear mind. The Merlin of Camelot was so distant to him, cold and dead. He still possessed qualities of him, traces, but he was definitely not the same bloke.
“All I know, is I want us to be on the same path now. We’ll always be joined, I think that’s the way it just is, but this time, it should be for the right reasons. I mean maybe that’s why we’re here. Why I remembered. Not so that I could take revenge for a life I used to lead, but so we could avoid making the same mistakes again. To live our lives the way they should have been all those years ago. Together!”
Merlin thinks for a few moments, rolling her words over his mind again and again, seeing them from every angle of his life now and trying to forget the Merlin of yesteryear. He sighs as the storm in his mind ends, turning to face Morgana as he speaks.
“So you love me, huh?” There’s a hint of a smile already at his lips, and Morgana almost wants to cry.
“More than I can say!”
“Yeah,” He grins, ears rising up, eyes glinting with that cheerful playfulness she adores so much. Everything’s going to be okay now, she can tell, and the feeling of relief spreads through her like a tide. Reaching up with one hand Merlin bushes away the tears with his thumb, leaning over he kisses her cheek dry as he whispers “I love you too.” She sobs out a laugh of relief and presses harder into his lips.
Merlin’s other hand moves the last few inches to cover Morgana’s on the dock. Pulling back, Merlin stares at Morgana for what seems like an age, getting lost in her beauty all over, falling head over heels. She can’t stop smiling and biting that lip of hers, and her hair is falling in her face again. God, it makes him long for her until his bones feel as if they might collapse, or his body burst, he loves her so much.
“Damn, baby, you frustrated me…” he says, making sure his voice is flat and neutral. Morgana face reflects her confusion, for second he sees her panic, thinking he’s changed his mind and doesn’t love her at all. She’s about to speak when he quickly buries his mouth against her ear and croons out the familiar tune, making her shiver in delight.
“I know you’re mine, all mine, all mine but you look so good it hurts sometimes.”
Her giggle of pleasure makes his heart race and his soul soar. Morgana throws her arms around his neck, pulling him into her with such eagerness that she almost knocks them into the water below.
Together they sing against each other lips, through sloppy, desperate kisses.
“You’re body is a wonderland.”