Blue: Too Close
Despite Sakura’s resolve it wasn’t an easy thing to pack her belongings and leave the life she had lived with Naruto and Sasuke behind. Tears blurred her vision with each step she took. It was almost impossible for her to see when she heard the door slam signaling Sasuke’s exit. She stopped walking at the sound and pressed the palm of her hand to her chest and wondered for the first time if it was possible for a heart to truly break. If so, then hers was dangerously close to doing so.
Despite that, she was glad he had left because he didn’t deserve to see her cry. Why did he always have to make her cry? She was so sick of crying over that man. He made it seem like she had tricked Naruto into this arrangement. It hadn't even been her idea. She never would have come up with an idea like this. Although, she supposed that was the problem. He knew she would never come up with the idea so he expected her to never agree to such a thing. But that was ridiculous given the carrot Naruto had dangled in front of her face. Naruto knew how she felt about Sasuke. He also knew very well how she felt about him. Yes, they were lovers but she wasn’t in love with him but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. Naruto understood that or so she thought.
The pondering made Sakura’s head hurt. She wanted to lie down and sink into the bed and forget this day ever happened but she knew Sasuke had been serious. She had to leave her own home in the middle of the night...or morning or whatever time it was, like some sort of thief. Sakura glanced around the room wondering what was absolutely necessary for her to take with her right that second. She had a feeling that anything she left behind would probably meet a grizzly end with a fire jutsu delivered by none other than the love o' her life.
In the end Sakura decided to grab only the necessities before she turned her back on the life that was never meant for her in the first place. Then she went to the only place she could.
:::
“Are you serious?” Tsunade eyed Sakura a little stunned that this was the young girl that she had trained. A part of her had been less than pleased with her decisions of the last two years but she never in a million years thought to hear her saying the words that she currently was.
“Yes, I am.” Her eyes were weary but determined and Tsunade felt a brief spark of pity for her. In all honesty she knew, if Orochimaru and Jiraiya had come to her with the proposal that Sakura’s boys did before she met Dan, she would have taken them up on it too. And she would probably be as haggard as Sakura was now but maybe both her fellas would be alive now.
“Running away from your problems isn’t going to solve anything.” Tsunade said the words because she knew they were true and because Sakura needed to hear them. She had walked down the very path her former student was on the precipice of going down right now and it had taken a knuckle-headed little boy to bring her back to her senses. It was a shame that Naruto wasn't in the village at the moment because she had a feeling that he'd would have been able to convince her to stay. In fact, it probably wouldn't have even escalated to this point--the damned Uchiha.
“I just need time.” Sakura said and Tsunade nodded knowing there was nothing further she could say.
“Fine. I’ll grant you your leave of absence but don’t think that you can just wander around aimlessly. The blonde stood up from her desk and moved to a file cabinet in her office and riffled through it for several moments before pulling out a rolled piece of parchment and tossed it Sakura’s way. “I sympathize with you Sakura but for right now the best thing for you is to train.” Sakura blinked and at her expression Tsunade smiled knowing exactly what was going through her mind. “How is training supposed to help you get over heartache? Tell me, Sakura, what do you think?” They slipped back into teacher-student mode almost too easily.
“It…isn’t?”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
Sakura smiled wryly at the familiarity of the situation. “It’s a statement.”
“Are you sure?” Tsunade teased slightly causing Sakura to laugh.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“You’re right…in a sense. Training isn’t going to help you get over your heartache. It will just give you something to focus on while you do.”
Understanding suddenly dawned on Sakura and she nodded her head accepting her Kage’s counsel. “So what’s this?” Sakura asked about the sealed parchment in her hand.
“It’s a map to where you’re going.” Tsunade moved over to her desk and began writing on a piece of paper. “You’re going to travel far and you’ll probably see some things that are rather…unbelievable but trust me the journey is worth it. You’ll learn things that most people in the Five Shinobi Nations will never have the chance to learn. You’ll see things that they’ll never get the chance to see. It’s a big world out there Sakura. Larger than you could have ever imagined.” Tsunade finally finished writing and then placed the scroll in her hands after sealing it. “This scroll is not for your eyes. You are to take it to the place where indicated on the map and ask for a woman by the name of Diana. She’ll help you.”
“Diana? Who is--?”
“You’ll find out when you get there. Now scat. I’ve got work to do.” Sakura rose to her feet a little overwhelmed and maybe a bit glad of it. She headed to the door when Tsunade suddenly called out, “Wait. I forgot one thing.” Sakura turned back to see Tsunade forming hands seals as she walked towards her. She wondered briefly if she should be afraid for her life then realized that with the Fifth one should always be afraid for their life. When she finished her seals she was directly in front of Sakura and she raised a single digit and poked her in the forehead. Sakura felt a strange sensation on her head and reached up to touch where she had been poked. She felt a diamond on her forehead similar to the one her Kage was currently wearing.
Was this the beginning of the seal that she currently used to keep herself so youthful? Why would she need something like this? She opened her mouth to ask that very question but was stopped when Tsunade said, “It’s for you to look, listen, and communicate. Trust me, you’ll need it where you’re going.”
:::
It would have been wrong for her to leave knowing that when Naruto came back all he’d get from Sasuke was that she had left of her own free will. He’d never get closure that way. So the only option was to leave him a letter in a place where only Naruto would find since she knew Sasuke would destroy anything of hers he came across.
So while she had the opportunity Sakura sat down and began to write.
Naruto,
You know better than anyone that I don’t want to hurt you, but the thing is. I need to breathe….
*Part II of Blue was inspired by Alex Clare's song "Too Close"
*Part I of Blue was inspired by 2AM(Breathe) by Anna Nalick