wickertwist has all the answers because wickertwist IS the answer
The complete and totally awesome tale of Wickertwist's weekend adventures is as follows: Early Friday afternoon the band arrived in NYC from its native Ottawa. The girls proceeded directly from the airport to...somewhere...and proceeded to play such a rockin' and successful gig that all the bandmates promptly decided a weekend of riotous celebration was in order.
And so the next day, that day being Saturday, Lara, Cary, Morganna, and Ze did meet in Cary and Lara's posh celebrity hotel suite to adorn themselves for a night out according to their various iconic rock star images (and eat tasty order-in Thai food). By the time they were through primping, Lara was perfectly teenybopper pop star, Cary was totally way scary skater punk, Morganna was like Courtney Love but more 40's, and Ze was, uh, something Gwen Stefani-esque or so her bandmates assured her. Everyone was in fact so perfect and hot that they were inspred to take vows ever to remain true to their art. Lara vowed to be ready at any moment to host the People's Choice Awards. Cary vowed ever to be ready to skateboard. Morganna vowed always to be ready to shoot up heroin at a moment's notice. And Ze vowed ever and forever to be ready to rock.
At this point, the fabulous foursome departed Manhattan and met Eileen (who was totally emo) at Ginger's Bar in Brooklyn, and all combined powers to become one truly fucking fantastic fivesome. While at Ginger's the ladies were joined by Dakotah of the Slightly Kickin' Martyrs, also conveniently visiting the city from his hometown of Pascascatoun. Drinks were enjoyed, but, dude, it was totally time to dance.
The Cattyshack proved to be the best club EVAH!!!!! Dancing upstairs and down, rooftop for smoking, a way hot pole dancer (Ze, confused by the spped at which her money ran away from her this weekend, is still trying to figure out whether she stuck a buck or a 20 in the dancer's panties), and Long Island iced teas that were truly terrifying. It was possible stand beside the bar and watch (with reverence and trepidation) as the barkeep put five enormous shots of liquor into a glass and sorta, kinda spritz some soda at it. Wickertwist plus Dakotah adopted the policy of dancing in a circle with one person holding up one of these beverages like a beacon and other people grabbing it at will.
Ze would like to report delightfully naughty dancing with Eileen and, well, everyone else, pleasant rooftop flirtations over cigarettes, and a great deal of fun that was had when two random girls on the roof tried to extract the secret of what Ze stands for (only her bandmates and a single taxi driver (who's since been mysteriously shipped off to Kabul) know that). She would also like to thank Lara for daring her to ask
the cute, curly haired girl to dance, 'cause it was just the cutest thing ever and made Ze feel dead smooth (though Ze's alterego is now all stressed about whether she should actually call the girl, 'cause on the one hand the alterego is a deceitful bitch who's really only interested in flirting with girls and not so comfortable with the thought of calling, and on the other hand Leah is adorable and a dancer and ESL teacher and her name has an L in it. The alterego supposes she had better decide by today). The entire band was deeply grateful that Cary, for once, did not kick to bits a single speaker or even overturn the DJ's tables and stomp her records. It's always most embarrassing when she does that.
At last the ladies dispersed to their separate abodes for much-needed resting. Ze was baffled the next morning as to how she'd managed to aquire a pizza on the way home and leave it untouched on her dresser. She blamed the LI iced teas, called the hotel's room service to dispose of the item, and set off to meet the rest of Wickertwist for their most excellent Sunday of Sin. Cary, Lara, and Ze met first at Toys in Babeland and, discovering that Morganna, Eileen, and Rafaela (aka Ralph, their roadie) were running late, proceeded to make the acquaintance of Pete the Piercer (who would come to feature prominently in the days adventures), investigate neighborhood tattoo parlors, and eat astonishingly tasty crepes from a neat little hole-in-the-wall creperie. Other bandmates arrived, and all returned to TiB, where quality sex toys were purchased. Ze wishes to register the acquisition of a fucking hot Flogger of DOOM, which is heavy and scary and has tails of both red and black leather. She is mad proud of this object. Also, she would like to note that the selection of a flogger is a sort of hilarious process which involves standing in a corner and smacking yourself repeatedly to test the merchandise.
All then returned to Pete the Piercer (who sucks for telling Cary that her foot tattoo was going to hurt, but whom the band loves anyway for his floating sideburns and 'other reasons'). Morganna got her tragus pierced, and Lara her nose. All went to tattoo parlor, on the way deciding it was necessary to investigate this wierd shop they'd noticed before 'Crops for Girls.' Ze was a bit disappointed to to find it was not a farmers' supply store specializing in estrogen-based fertilizers or 'grow your own chocolate' kits. Eileen thought it would have been more interesting had it been another sex shop. But when it turned out to be a hair salon specializing in short haircuts, all proceeded to badger Eileen endlessly about cutting and dying her hair. (She refused, inspiring one of Wickertwist's newest songs, 'Come On, Eileen; Cut Your Hair.) Anyway, about that tattoo parlor. It was called Invisible, was way great, and Cary and Ze made themselves appointments for later that day.
Next, all to Teany for tea, coffee, and lunch. Ralph arrived. Ze composed a song about coffee. It was decided that when the band finishes work on its current album, Twicker Whist, they will put out another inspired entirely by the Sunday of Sin. This one will be Basket Tweed and will feature such songs as 'Coffee,' 'Rebauchery' ('cause after you debauch it, you gotta rebauch it'), and 'Everything We Have to Say About Pete the Piercer' (which will feature gongs). Tentative plans were even laid for a third album, Not as Bristish as Our Previous Albums, which will include the songs ' 'Disunited Kingdom,' 'Commonwealth,' and a cover of 'Oh, Canada.'
At this point, Cary and Ze returned to Invisible, and Rafaela went to see Pete about some holes in her ears. Morganna succumbed to the need for a second piercing in one day and went with her to get a Marylin. Cary got her color wheel tatoo, and while waiting for her, Lara and Ze made grand plans for the various albums. They were asked by a girl also waiting about the place, "Are you really Canadian rock stars?" Ze resisted the urge to say, "Of course, we're bigger than those other guys who were bigger than Jesus," for at this point in their careers that would be presumptuous. Ze then got her tattoo done (the words 'scintillate' and 'radiate' on her right hip in a peculiar font). She had a most entertaining conversation with the parlor's two artists and the other tattoo-ee about living in boxes ('hey, baby, can I take you back to my storage crate') and the unacceptability of being taught to swim by being tossed off a waterfall. Fortunately Marco was awesome enough to deal with a laughing and therefore moving subject. The tattoo is great.
Upon emerging from the back of the parlor, Ze discovered Eileen had gone back to her hotel and that Cary had up and snuck off and gotten a Marylin too because Morganna's was so great. She promptly decided that she could not be the only remaining unpierced person and all returned to Pete AGAIN (he really took all this quite wonderfully in stride). Ze got two submerged barbells framing her navel so the beads make the points of a diamond. It is so bloody cool as to be beyond words, but also unfortunately slightly crooked, so she is going to have to return to Pete AGAIN to get one of the barbells replaced with a shorter one. While this was happening, a fashion photographer person came into the the parlor and offered to make Morganna a model. Like really, a most seemingly legitimate proposal. So it is possible her career shall be diverging slightly from the rest of the band's. Pehaps Lara will stop yapping about how Wickertwist owes all its fame to her.
And as an addendum to the weekend report Ze would just like to mention that when she went into NYU's registration office Monday disguised, as it sometimes amuses her to be, as a boring office worker and the student intern started in again on how everyone should give up coffee, the Coffee song served Ze well. She sang it at the intern, and intern Claudia had no fit response. 'Ha!' Ze would like to add. (The alterego would like to note, that though she had actually been drinking less of late (true, whether or not anyone who's been hanging out with the alterego can believe it) it really only took Thurday through Saturday with the way lotta liquor to restore senior year tolerance. Yi.)
Wickertwist's next appearance in the States is scheduled for the end of the month on the Yale campus. Though it is expected all the ladies shall be performing under false names.