the power of synonyms

[juniperjune]

I just received a piece of spam with the subject line "make your hose's radius great." Am I getting email ads for sprinkler heads now?, I wondered, thinking of garden hoses and a sprinkler's radius, which would be a sensible use of that term. Then suddenly I realized it was about penises. As a teacher of writing and a scholar of literature, I find

Comments

[the_grin]

Hee, that is just wonderful. I'm guessing they meant girth, not radius, but radius paints a much funnier mental picture.

[juniperjune]

yes. there was definitely an intermediate logical step between "they must be talking about the radius of a sprinkler's spray" and "they must be talking about the width of a penis" that need not be discussed.

[opheliadances]

One day, I went to breakfast with my boy and I noticed a sign on the wall of the diner. It read "Items not on the menu" and listed various juices and breakfast items. I said in the most eloquent way I could "Don't you think it's fucked up that they list all this shit you can't have?"

My boy said "I think they just didnt want to reprint the menus."

Not one of my finer moments.

[juniperjune]

hahaha awesome.

[ikura]

I first read that as "make your horse's radiance great", which i think is win.

[juniperjune]

yes, like an advertisement to little girls for horse shampoo and/or pony magic.

did you get my email? are you interested in coming to see the muffs tomorrow?