[oneshot] Ai-chan #2

Jan 19, 2015 09:59

Title: Ai-chan #2
Author: junjun_pon
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack, humor
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys!
Summary: Yatterman #1, Gan (Sho), needs a new partner in justice; Aiba answers the advertisement.

a/n: This was a gift fic for steffilinos for the je_holiday exchange! This is my first time really trying to tackle Sakuraiba and Yatterman for that matter. Enjoy!

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Wanted: Assistant Mechanic
Position type: Part-time, on-call
Requirements: Must love dogs and have a taste for adventure.
Willingness to learn mechanical skills required; prior experience a plus.
Contact: Takada Gan at (03) 3814-5985

A cellphone vibrates against the counter top in the workshop. It slowly edges itself toward a yellow extension cord resting in coils on the counter. The screeching sound of metal against metal drowns out the phone. A young man stands drilling a hole through a piece of sheet metal with a power drill at a large workbench centered at the head of the spacious, yet cluttered, garage. Small twists of metal grow out from the drill site until the hole is made and the young man brushes them away with a gloved hand and most tumble to the floor.

The last desperate vibration from the phone sounds and the young man reaches for it and answers without inspecting the number.

“Hello?” the young man says.

“Ah, is this Takada-san?” a small, raspy voice chokes out.

“Yeah, just call me Gan. What can I do for you? A special order or anything?” Gan says, leaning a hip against the counter. He looks down and brushes some metal pieces off of his blue denim jumpsuit.

“I’m Aiba Masaki…I’m responding to your add online?” Aiba says.

“Oh! Aiba-san, sure. Tell me about yourself,” Gan says.

Aiba takes a deep breath. Was it really a phone interview? “I love all animals and I just finished university. I like to go on vacation, so I suppose that means I like travel?”

“Good, good. Do you have any handyman skills?” Gan asks.

“N-no, not really, but I can fix a chain-link fence,” Aiba replies, somewhat hopeful.

“Well, that’s good enough. You’re hired. Com to Takada Toys tomorrow afternoon,” Gan says. He shuffles to the middle of the room and looks toward the giant red dog robot stationed near the back of the garage.

Aiba seems shocked and gasps, “Eh? Really? That soon?”

Gan chuckles and takes his matching denim hat off with his free hand, “Yup, you’re the first to answer the ad and seem like a cool guy. Are you athletic?”

“I…I think so…” Aiba replies, a bit puzzled, “why does it ma-“

“-great. I forgot to add that to the list of requirements! See you tomorrow. Bye!” Gan hangs up before Aiba can reply and slips the phone in his front pocket. He grins, throws his hat back on, and crosses his arms. “A new partner, Yatterwan!” The red dog-like robot before him just rests silently, frozen in place.

The next afternoon, Gan patiently awaits Aiba’s arrival by deconstructing Yatterwan’s left arm for a maintenance check. A loud doorbell sound rings through the large space.

“Come in!” Gan yells, still shoulder deep into Yatterwan’s electrical wiring.

Aiba peeks his head inside the room from the door and sheepishly drags himself the rest of the way in. “The store attendant told me I could find you here.”

Gan carefully sets down Yatterwan’s arm wires and rolls his sleeve down, “Welcome to my workshop! This is Yatterwan.” He points to the large, partly deconstructed robot dog. “My father began building him, but never finished. I managed to get Yatterwan all put together a few years ago.”

Aiba looks at Gan and the robot dog, his mouth hanging open slightly, “Ahhh! You’re that Takada Gan! I’ve seen you on the TV. That dog thing looks familiar too. Aren’t you a superhero or something?”

“Haha! Kind of. More like the mecha police,” Gan replies. He takes his hat off and scratches his head before slapping It back on. He begins piecing Yatterwan’s arm back together.

Aiba comes closer, “Didn’t you have a female partner before?”

“Ah…yeah. She left though. That’s why I made the ad,” Gan says with a sigh.

“Sorry to hear that…but I suppose I’m replacing her? They said she was an electrical genius. I can barely fix a chain-link fence!” Aiba says, blushing slightly after feeling completely inadequate after mentioning the electrical master, Ai-chan. Gan snorts.

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you everything you need to know. Don’t forget the adventure part of this job too.”

“You won’t have me fighting will you?” Aiba says, wringing his hands.

“Of course! Yatterwan and I cannot fight alone! You answered the ad, you’re Ai-chan #2,” Gan says focusing his attention on Yatterwan’s arm. “Get it? Aiba, Ai, Ai-chan? So that makes you Ai-chan #2.”

Gan moves away from Yatterwan and heads to the corner of the room. It was a wall covered with a small section of lockers. He opens the locker and digs through what seem to be jumpsuits of various colors. He grabs a green face mask and a black suit that looks almost identical to his own.

“Here, this is yours. Can you transform?” Gan asks.

“T-transform? Uh, I don’t think so. I’m just a normal dude,” Aiba says inspecting the suit from afar. Gan hands him the suit.
“Well this is yours to wear when we go out on emergencies. Usually the Dorombo gang comes up with a new money-making scheme every week. It’s tiresome, but fun to watch them explode,” Gan says, “Green suits you. I hope you like it!”

Aiba panics a bit, “I can’t fight crime! I signed up to learn about mechanical stuff.”

“Oh blah, I’ll teach you all that when we have time. Meanwhile, we prepare to infiltrate the dark goddess Doronjo’s new cupcake shop,” Gan says rushing back to Yatterwan to complete the installation of the arm.

“This is all too fast,” Aiba says, feeling overwhelmed, examining the jumpsuit, “Shouldn’t I be trained or anything?”

Gan laughs, “You’ll be fine.” The preparations on Yatterwan are complete. “Good thing you got here just in time for the main event! I hope you’re ready for a crash course.”

“Wait, wait!” Aiba says, he looks disturbed, “I can’t possibly go into battle. Like I said, I’m just a normal guy!”

“Nonsense!” Gan says, “At the end of the day, we crush them. They’re crooks, frauds. They steal money from innocent people.”

Aiba keeps his mouth shut and hopes for the best. He sits on a wooden stool nearby the workbench and watches Gan work on what looks like a dog bone. “What’s that?”

“A mecha bone. It gives Yatterwan extra power,” Gan says. Aiba just nods and pretends to understand. He feels obligated now to help Gan even though he had his own reservations about it. He kicks his legs on the stool and watches the time slowly move toward the end of the work day. Gan cleans up the shop a bit and eventually enlists Aiba to sweep the floor of metal scraps and thick dust.

The clock lands on five o’clock on the dot and Gan gets excited. “Let’s transform and head out, Ai-chan #2!”

“Transform? I can’t transform at all!” Aiba says pouting.

Gan is in his own world, he does a front flip and jumps in the air shouting “YATTA!” Bright light engulfs him and his denim jump suit pulls off revealing a black under suit. The denim suit pulls apart and colors white, wrapping its way around the contours of Gan’s body. The white suit with black accents fastens to his body and a red face mask adheres to his face along with a redesigned hat that sits atop his head with the Yatterman “Y” symbol in shining silver.

Aiba watches in awe long after Gan transforms in front of him. He holds his hand in the air and shouts “YATTA!” but nothing happens.

“Hurry up, Ai-chan #2!” Gan shouts, headin toward the back of Yatterwan. There is a large crank near the base of Yatterwan’s backside. Gan turns the crank three times and the enormous robotic dog comes to life, smoke puffing out of the exhaust pipes behind the robot’s head and its eyes begin to light up. The mouth moves down into an open position and the robot lets out a long yowl, “AROOOOOOO!” Gan hops up on the side of Yatterwan, holding onto a handle. A siren begins to wail and flash a red light.

“Come on Ai-chan #2!” Gan shouts above the loud robot. Yatterwan begins moving on a track out toward the garage doors that lead to an elevator platform. Aiba frantically strips his clothes, trying to get into the black suit and green mask provided by Gan. He begins walking behind the robot, tripping over the legs on the suit, attempting to pull it up and zip it shut.

“Gan! Wait! I’m having trouble with my suit!” Aiba shouts, fumbling with the zipper. The air in the room kicks into a wind, making it even harder for Aiba to secure his suit. Between the wind in the room and the sound of the robot, Aiba goes unheard and Yatterwan and Gan enter the elevator without him. The elevator kicks in and the two are gone, leaving Aiba alone in the workshop garage still working on trying to fit in his suit.

Gan and Yatterwan approach the DoroHappyCake shop where the remaining exploited customers filter out into the street. They carry the terrible tasting cupcakes they were hypnotized into buying at absurd prices in return for eternal happiness. Yatterwan’s siren shrieks again and he belts out another “AROOO!”

The building shudders and opens up vertically. It reconfigures quickly forming into a cupcake humanoid shaped robot. Its arms and legs are thin like birthday candles and flames stretch from where hands would be.

“Ahahahaha, Yatterman #1 and Yatterwan. Be prepared to finally lose this fight. We won’t give back the money; it was all too easy to collect!” Doronjo’s feminine voice blares out of a speaker near the cupcake robot’s head. The robot moves into a ready stance and flies forward toward Yatterwan which promptly moves out of the way, causing Gan to swing off the edge. The cupcake monster lets out a shout and the small flames at the hands burst and begin to rage. The birthday candle-like arms break off and new ones grow in their place. The cupcake robot begins to juggle them. It tosses one at Yatterwan, but misses, causing a nearby mailbox to combust.

“Yatterwan! Stay away from the fire!” Gan shouts.

Meanwhile, Aiba manages to get his suit on and zipped and leaves the workshop via the toy store’s entrance. The two employees watching the store chuckle a bit when they see him leave. The black suit was a bit too short for his long legs. Aiba rushes out into the street, receiving many stares. He blushes because he’s embarrassed but hears a loud bang in the distance.

“I would assume they’d be that way….” he says quietly to himself. Smoke rises into the air and he then knows for sure.

Yatterwan dodges the flame attacks and opens his mouth with an “AROOO!” A missile loads and shoots at the cupcake robot. The missile goes right through the robot as if it were really made out of cake.

“Ahahaha! Yatterman, Yatterwan, you can’t take my newest creation down!” fraud queen Doronjo cackles. The spot where the missile went through closes up. “You know you want a taste of this!” The robot throws another candled arm.

Gan readies his battle kendama with the golden ball and whips it outward. The ball and wire wrap around the flying candle arm. Gan pulls hard and it breaks in two; the flame extinguishes. “I guess you should have thought about using something other than wax, Doronjo!”

The cupcake robot arms turn into blasters and they shoot metal sprinkles at Gan and Yatterwan. Yatterwan takes hits to the face and body and is in a stunned state.

Aiba finally arrives on the scene and is shocked to see the giant cupcake robot. “Eh?” He looks around at some bystanders, viewing the scene from a safe distance. He pulls down on the legs of his suit because it began riding up while he was sprinting earlier. “Ah! Gan! What should I do?”

Gan hides behind a coffee vending machine as the cupcake robot continues to shoot out the metal sprinkles, mostly at Yatterwan. “Gah! Ai-chan #2, find the weakness!”

“No way! I can’t get close to that thing. I’d die!” Aiba replies, he’s sweating profusely.

Yatterwan lets out a howl of defeat; he won’t be able to hold out much longer against the rapid fire of sprinkles. Gan grabs Aiba by the arm and pulls him behind the vending machine. He pulls a mecha bone out of his suit and holds it up.

“Yatterwan! It’s time for a mecha bone!” Gan shouts. He throws it and Yatterwan manages to catch it in his mouth. The cupcake robot stops firing, seeming to watch Yatterwan wheel around the open street area while he digests his treat. The robotic red dog stops suddenly and tilts his head down with a “bleh” sound. A small ramp rolls out of Yatterwan’s mouth and slowly little robotic cats begin wandering out meowing incessantly. “Meow, meow meow,” they chant.

The cupcake robot does nothing, Doronjo watching the scene carefully, silently.

Once the last cat out of hundreds leaves Yatterwan’s mouth, the dog throws his head back and bellows. The cats’ eyes begin to glow a bright yellow and they takes off running. The little robotic cats run up the side of the cupcake robot and eat away at the cake and frosting, chanting their meows.

“Uwah! Get them off!” Doronjo says. The robot spins, but the cats hang on for dear life, eating away, eventually exposing a wide-set metal endoskeleton. The robot stomps around for a while until it begins shooting sprinkles again at the robotic cats that have fallen off. “Take that!” Doronjo cries.

“Ai-chan #2, go search for a weakness. She’s distracted!” Gan says, preparing his kendama for use once more.

Aiba hesitates as usual, but sees that he is a bit safer. He whimpers and runs along the outside of their fighting arena. He is fairly quick. He continues pulling down on his suit as he runs because when it rides up his butt, it gets uncomfortable fast. Aiba manages to make it around the back of the robot. He shivers a bit out of fear, but looks around.

Gan whips the kendama ball at the robot to latch onto a piece of the skeleton. He pulls to try and keep it in place despite all the flying sprinkles hitting the kendama’s wire. “Kenda-Magic!” Gan shouts. The wire becomes electrified and the robot freezes in place.

“GAH! Damn you!” Doronjo belts out.

Aiba notices a small button at the back of the now decimated cupcake robot’s knee. It says “Do not press!!!!!” in bold letters. Taking the opportunity since the button was exposed, Aiba grabs a piece of rubble and chucks it, barely hitting the button. “YATTA!!”
The robot begins to steam and break down. It crumbles to the ground, Doronjo having a fit inside.

“Ai-chan #2! You did it!” Gan shouts, retracting the kendama wire and ball from the broken down robot. Gan moves toward the robot. A hatch opens at the top and Doronjo pops out, ranting and raving.

“How dare you! Do you know how much that cost to make?!” she shrieks.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Doronjo, you’re done for,” Gan says. Aiba jogs over to stand behind Gan. The robot begins to smoke and shudder once more. Little explosions burst out of the joints and eventually the entire thing gears up to explode.

“Out of the way!” Gan yells. He grabs Aiba and they jump away and onto the ground.

“How dare you ignore me!” Doronjo shouts. As she finished, the robot explodes, sending Doronjo into the sky and out of sight.

Aiba and Gan sit up, their suits a bit tattered from the explosion. “Huh,” Gan starts, “So strange for Lady Doronjo to not have her cronies with her…” Aiba is still stunned at all that’s unfolded before him.

“Anyway, you did well, Ai-chan #2. How’d you do it?” Gan asks.

“Ah…I hit a button with a rock,” Aiba replies, dusting off his suit.

“A rock? Well done! How resourceful!” Gan cheers. He stands up and helps Aiba to his feet. “Woah, that suit is too small. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Eh? You left me in the garage trying to put it on! My legs stick out!” Aiba complains.

Gan just laughs.

When they arrive back at the workshop and Gan powers down Yatterwan for repairs, he digs in the locker again to find a suit in the same color, but a bit larger to accommodate Aiba’s long legs, “Here.”

Aiba looks at the suit and takes it, holding it over the front of his body, “It looks long enough now.”

“Good! So you’re staying right?” Gan asks, he’s already back in his denim suit and hat.

Aiba folds the suit over his arm, “After all that, I suppose so.”

Gan goes to the workbench and grabs some pliers and a bolt cutter and hands them to Aiba, “There’s a fence out back of the store near the garbage that needs fixing. Think you can handle it?”

Aiba grins brightly, “Yes!”

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Thank you for reading!
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fanfiction, p, length: oneshot, rating: pg, genre: crack, genre: humor, pairing: aiba masaki/sakurai sho, arashi

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