[drabble] To Bathe a Devil
Title: To Bathe a Devil
Author: junjun-pon
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack, humor
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys!
Summary: Ohno finds a way to successfully bathe his cute devil companion, Kazu-chan.
a/n: Another long-ish drabble
Previous Installments in "A Guide for the Care and Keeping of Devils"
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[To Catch]
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1.) Convince the oblivious devil he needs a bath
Ohno Satoshi shuffles from the bathroom to the living room, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. He sees his cute devil companion, Kazu-chan resting spread-eagle on the sofa slowly munching on a piece of strawberry Pocky, his slick black tail thumping to the beat of a song being played on a TV commercial.
“Kazu-chan, it’s bath time,” Ohno says gently. Kazu-chan the cute devil ignores him and continues to devour Pocky, thus provoking Ohno to be a bit stricter.
“Kazu-chan, you need to take a bath. Get in here!” he says rather obnoxiously.
"Nope,” the devil replies.
“I bought you a waterproof case for your DS, now get in here…” Ohno says.
Immediately, the cute devil is up off the sofa and in front of Ohno.
“What’s a bath?” he asks.
“It makes you not smell like hell,” Ohno replies.
“But hell smells nice,” Kazu-chan says with honest eyes.
Sighing, Ohno leads him into the bathroom, “Smelling like hell scares people here, so take a bath…”
“Okay, but where’s my DS?” the cute devil asks.
2.) Undress the devil
The cute devil Kazu-chan looks around the bathroom curiously. Ohno fetches the DS in a waterproof case and notices the devil carrying around a box of Pocky with his tail.
“Kazu-chan, you can’t take Pocky with you in the tub,” Ohno says holding out the devil’s promised DS. The devil frowns and rips the DS out of Ohno’s hands.
“Yes, I can, or I’ll run away,” he says, pouting. He lifts his tail in front of his body, just close enough to reach the box of Pocky , and he pulls one stick out. He moves close to Ohno’s face and takes a mocking bite out of the Pocky stick.
“BLAH, fine, just don’t get the water all gunky…now, take off your clothes,” he says, turning the faucet on, warm water rushing out.
“These clothes are part of me though,” the devil complains. The clothes do indeed fit him perfectly.
Ohno sighs yet again, “I promise, I’ll wash them and you can wear them again…”
Kazu-chan’s nails grow suddenly and rips his own clothes to shreds. Little pieces of black fabric float to the floor. He is left standing naked and not amused. Ohno just stares, amazed at the cute devil’s body.
The cute devil glares, almost embarrassed, “You’re going to hell…”
Ohno shrugs, “Yeah, I already know that. At least I know what it smells like there ahead of time.”
3.) Provide the devil with a properly heated bath
The bath heats up to a nice warm temperature, perfect for humans and animals alike. “Get in, it’ll get cold,” Ohno says, holding the box of Pocky and the waterproofed DS as the cute devil Kazu-chan pokes the tip of his tail into the warm water. The devil lets out a rather noisy wail.
“Ah! What?” Ohno says, caught off -guard. “The water is fine!”
“It’s too cold!” Kazu-chan whines, his tail wrapping around his arms as he shivers.
Ohno stares at him in disbelief, “Too cold?”
The cute devil nods.
Remembering that Kazu-chan is an “authentic” devil, he must bathe in coals or something.
“I can make the water hotter…regardless of how hot I can get it, you’re taking a bath…” Ohno says, flicking Kazu-chan’s naked thigh with his thumb and forefinger. The devil responds by slapping Ohno with his whip-like tail, but gets no complaints.
Ohno messes with the faucet until he gets the water so hot, it would scald any person.
The cute devil Kazu-chan lowers his tail into the water and slithers in until the water is up to his chin. He exhales steam.
4.) Dry him and send him to bed
It takes Ohno a good hour to lure the devil from his fiery bath. “If you stay in there too long, you’ll get mushy,” he says.
“That’s not true,” the devil says, disappearing into thin air, just like at the park. Ohno searches around frantically.
He opens the bedroom door slowly, hearing chuckling, “You’re all wet…and naked. Let’s dry you off.” Ohno sees the cute tail swishing out from behind the curtains. He rushes up to them and pulls them back, but there is no one there. He turns around quickly and sees a black mass rushing out of the room, leaving a wet path behind.
Following the wet marks, Ohno sees a lump underneath the futon he’d set up for the devil on the living room floor.
“Kazu-chan…be a good little devil and let Oh-chan dry you off, ne?” he says pulling the futon comforter away from the lump. The cute devil Kazu-chan lies asleep on the futon mattress. Ohno seizes up and tip-toes to the bathroom to grab a towel. He spends his evening TV time drying, clothing, and tucking in the cute devil.
Upon finally falling asleep for the night, his door creaks open and shut. He hears breathing and feels something crawl into his bed.
“Kazu-chan?”
“Kazu-chan can’t sleep without something to hang on to…” the cute devil says quietly, almost creepily. He snuggles against Ohno, digging his sharp little nails into Ohno’s side like a bat.
Ohno grumbles and tries to sleep, but can’t due to crunching noises and the sounds of crumbs tumbling into his bed.
“I thought you were sleeping already,” Ohno says.
“Nope,” the cute devil says as he continues munching his Pocky in the dark.
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a/n: Thank you for reading!
If you have any requests of things you may want to see in future releases (ex: how to feed a devil, how to bathe a devil, etc.), please leave a comment :D