bury me in water.
bury me in water
gri (jiyong/seungri), pg-13, unbeta'd
i'm running low on inspiration here
The first thing you notice when Seungri stumbles into you on your way out of the school gate is the colour of his lips- pale blue. You only realize that he is drenched when he comes close enough, water sliding off his cheeks and chin, droplets clinging to his neck and collar bone like spilled milk. (That's when you realize that he's too close.)
"They tried to kill me today," he tells you with a straight face and it makes you laugh on the inside where liquid pain spreads in the gut, makes you hold back your fists and there are no tears to speak of. They said that I was disgusting. They told me to fuck off. They called me a faggot. Your lower jaw aches when you imagine yourself fastening your teeth to a throat filled with insults, to tear screams from it until nothing but cries for mercy flow in red.
His fingers are shaking and twitching around the dripping hem of his shirt, his wet fringe cuts across his eyes in messy strands. There are shadows under his cheekbones and under his eyes. They tell me I'm better off dead.
"Maybe I am better off dead." He starts talking again and you watch his mouth move (how the words escape and turn his lips into a warm pink again). Do you think I should disappear?
You blink once, twice, and your mouth is a piece of string that his eyes are controlling, pulling at the ends, stretching it into painful indifference. Water is everywhere on his face and body still, and he looks like he's melting.
"Jiyong," he says and his eyes are wet too. "I like you."
You don't know why he's suddenly talking about this, so you say, I like you too. So you stand there, watching as he lifts a hand to your neck. His fingers are cold and you swallow the air that feels warmer than his touch.
"Really? You mean, you'd like it if I did this?"
His hand shifts upwards to your scalding cheek and he leans in slowly. You know what he's going to do, but you take a step back and it's enough for him to understand, to freeze in his movements.
(you want him to touch you, you want to touch him too, but he's too cold and you're on fire)
He just looks at you like a lost child. You point to the roads and the swaying trees outside but his stare burns your mouth into a silent apology. You like him, you really do, you love him but you're scared. You don't want him to come any closer because it makes you feel like there's an invisible snake tightening itself around your chest with every step he takes towards you. He'll steal your eyes and you'll have to walk in the darkness (uncertainty, insecurity, fear) with him. You don't like that and you don't want him to get hurt. After a while you whisper, "Seungri-ah. Go home."
And he leaves, because he always listens to you. "They were right about me." He says but you pretend that you can't hear a thing. "I thought of you when they held my head under the water."
:(((
i need more practice oh man
gri (jiyong/seungri), pg-13, unbeta'd
i'm running low on inspiration here
The first thing you notice when Seungri stumbles into you on your way out of the school gate is the colour of his lips- pale blue. You only realize that he is drenched when he comes close enough, water sliding off his cheeks and chin, droplets clinging to his neck and collar bone like spilled milk. (That's when you realize that he's too close.)
"They tried to kill me today," he tells you with a straight face and it makes you laugh on the inside where liquid pain spreads in the gut, makes you hold back your fists and there are no tears to speak of. They said that I was disgusting. They told me to fuck off. They called me a faggot. Your lower jaw aches when you imagine yourself fastening your teeth to a throat filled with insults, to tear screams from it until nothing but cries for mercy flow in red.
His fingers are shaking and twitching around the dripping hem of his shirt, his wet fringe cuts across his eyes in messy strands. There are shadows under his cheekbones and under his eyes. They tell me I'm better off dead.
"Maybe I am better off dead." He starts talking again and you watch his mouth move (how the words escape and turn his lips into a warm pink again). Do you think I should disappear?
You blink once, twice, and your mouth is a piece of string that his eyes are controlling, pulling at the ends, stretching it into painful indifference. Water is everywhere on his face and body still, and he looks like he's melting.
"Jiyong," he says and his eyes are wet too. "I like you."
You don't know why he's suddenly talking about this, so you say, I like you too. So you stand there, watching as he lifts a hand to your neck. His fingers are cold and you swallow the air that feels warmer than his touch.
"Really? You mean, you'd like it if I did this?"
His hand shifts upwards to your scalding cheek and he leans in slowly. You know what he's going to do, but you take a step back and it's enough for him to understand, to freeze in his movements.
(you want him to touch you, you want to touch him too, but he's too cold and you're on fire)
He just looks at you like a lost child. You point to the roads and the swaying trees outside but his stare burns your mouth into a silent apology. You like him, you really do, you love him but you're scared. You don't want him to come any closer because it makes you feel like there's an invisible snake tightening itself around your chest with every step he takes towards you. He'll steal your eyes and you'll have to walk in the darkness (uncertainty, insecurity, fear) with him. You don't like that and you don't want him to get hurt. After a while you whisper, "Seungri-ah. Go home."
And he leaves, because he always listens to you. "They were right about me." He says but you pretend that you can't hear a thing. "I thought of you when they held my head under the water."
:(((
i need more practice oh man