exo; frozen heart
Title : Frozen Heart
Fandom : EXO
Pairing : Xiumin/Luhan
Length : 5.4k words
Summary : Hunger Games!AU. Minseok did save Luhan from the Game, and somehow, Luhan regrets it.
A/N: i changed a bit---a lot than what i had expected. i give my heart and soul for this au im gonna write this forever with different otps lol maybe. this is for my bae hana_dulset, because she's my bae. lol
frozen heart
It’s dark when Luhan walks himself to where his feet bring him. There’s no sign of life and all he can see is a huge cracked land with some helpless weeds fighting to keep alive on it-and they seem as miserable as everything around them.
Behind a high, long and seemingly terrifying metal fence is where Luhan stops. The fence has at least five signs of Danger! High Voltage but Luhan knows the signs are there only to fool prisoners who’s trying to escape from Capitol’s jail-the jail is only a few kilometers from here-and trying to enter this district illegally.
“Luhan?” someone calls him. “What are you doing here?”
Luhan turns around to a tiny man with doe eyes who looks really squishy and cute, but the impressions are really wrong when you take a look at his strong, muscled arms. One of the arms Luhan’s talking about is holding two dead partridges and the other is holding a bow.
“Hi, Kyungsoo,” Luhan greets, “Just walking around. You’ve finished your daily hunt?”
“I was bored so I went hunting. Minseok hyung had done the daily for today.” Kyungsoo answers and Luhan’s heart clenches at the name Kyungsoo mentioned in. The other boy examines his face silently, still looking suspicious. “Are you sure you’re only walking around here?”
Luhan nods, “Why, do I look like someone who’s planning to get out of this goddamn district by climb up this fence?”
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, “You do.”
Luhan chokes out a laugh-hoping Kyungsoo won’t notice how true he sounds just now-and gives Kyungsoo’s arm a light punch. “Well, sorry to disappoint but I am not. And I can’t, so I wouldn’t. You know my life has been controlled by Capitol since The Game and I have no way to walk out from this… fate.”
“Minseok hyung had said something oddly similar to what you said,” Kyungsoo says, “Are you guys practicing or something? I mean even after you guys won the game? We do know everything Capitol-related is all scripted, but seriously, I’m not one of them, can’t you just talk to me without anything that sounds like them?”
Luhan sighs, “Sorry,” he says, and he really means it. “I’m sorry.”
Kyungsoo shrugs at Luhan’s apology. “Nah, let’s just forget it and have a delicious dinner at our place tonight, would you?”
Luhan grins. “I wouldn’t turn down this one, of course.”
Minseok is toweling his wet hair when Luhan enters the house, and they almost bump into each other in progress. Luhan quickly grabs the doorframe and balances himself, while Minseok puts down his towel and blinks confusedly; doesn’t expect to meet a guest.
“Oh, hello,” he awkwardly greets Luhan, “I didn’t know Kyungsoo would bring someone home.”
“It was an impromptu invitation, though,” Kyungsoo says. “I’m going to prepare dinner, please bear with the wait. I’ll be back in twenty minutes, okay?”
Twenty minutes, Luhan repeats to himself. He wonders how long twenty minutes would be with only him and Minseok in the room. But Minseok already said a yes, and all-smiling Kyungsoo leaves them in the living room-and Luhan really wants to dig a hole and hide there until Kyungsoo finished preparing dinner.
“Well, I suppose he left us to have a conversation,” Minseok opens up, twisting his towel and clearly looks uncomfortable. “We haven’t really talked after The Game, have we?”
“I-I guess so,” Luhan says, as uncomfortable as Minseok. The atmosphere feels so thick and Luhan can feel no air around him, he bets in five minutes or so he would gasp for air like a fish on the ground. “But-you don’t have to do any with me, if you don’t want to.”
“What do you mean?” Minseok frowns, “Luhan, I am not your enemy. Stop acting like I’m one.”
Oh.
Well, good thing Minseok doesn’t know Luhan’s real enemy is actually himself.
“It’s acceptable if you feel uncomfortable with me, after The Game… and after what you’ve done for me there. That’s why I’m not forcing you into anything, with me; because I know you probably don’t want to get involved to me anymore. So-I’m sorry-”
Luhan doesn’t continue his sentence, and Minseok doesn’t comment. Luhan hears Minseok sighs, but he’s not quite sure why Minseok does. The only option Luhan can offer is he looks even more disgusting in Minseok’s eyes, and if Minseok can use his special rights outside the Capitol, Minseok might have strangled him to death-because one of his rights is he can take someone’s life when that someone is disturbing him. Luhan deserves that for being such an idiot.
“Stupid,” Minseok mumbles under his breath, loud enough for Luhan to hear. Luhan agrees, that’s why he’s not saying anything and lets Minseok gets up from the couch and walking to the door.
“I’m outside if Kyungsoo asks,” Minseok says without turning around.
The dinner Kyungsoo made is delicious but they taste bitter in Luhan’s tongue. He can’t help but always trying to steal a glance to Minseok, who eats silently right across him. Kyungsoo puts down his spoon and looks at Luhan and Minseok back and forth.
“What is wrong with you two?” the boy asks, a bit irritated by the view in front of him.
“It’s nothing,” Luhan quickly says, and he feels Minseok looks up at him but he doesn’t say anything. “I guess I did come in bad timing. I’ll leave after I finished my plate, so don’t worry.”
“No, no guest can leave this house before they eat dessert,” Kyungsoo insists. “Is it okay, Minseok hyung?”
Minseok still doesn’t answer, and Luhan feels so, so bad. He shouldn’t have come here at the first place. Probably leaving Minseok alone and avoiding him forever is the best thing he can do, even though Luhan can’t envisage how hurts that would feel.
“I’ll be away for a while,” Minseok gets up instead, and both Luhan and Kyungsoo look at him in confuse. “Luhan can stay here. But if he wants to leave before I’m back, it’s fine too.”
“Hyung-?” Kyungsoo’s voice raises.
“Please,” Minseok says, in a somewhat desperate voice, and Kyungsoo gulps before throws a glance to Luhan. He’s looking down, like a heavy load has placed on his shoulder. Kyungsoo sighs, it can’t be helped, he guesses, and Minseok is probably needs some time to be alone.
“Don’t take too long,” Kyungsoo finally says, “And don’t do anything that might kill you.”
Minseok nods, quietly shuts the door behind his back and now with Minseok’s leave, seems like the room grows a giant black hole, ready to suck Luhan in. Kyungsoo probably feels the same, he shifts uncomfortably on his seat, before gets up to the kitchen in excuse to prepare him something to drink.
“Minseok hyung lost everything a year before he was chosen to be Hunger Games tribute with you,” Kyungsoo says and Luhan stops sipping on his tea. “Of course you knew that, too. When our house burnt to ash, and his-our parents died, along with everything we had. Father’s barn, Mother’s little store, and Minseok hyung’s favorite bicycle. I was the only thing left with him, well, I’m not originally belong to Kim family, so they wouldn’t need to kill me too. Or probably they just didn’t care whether I’m dead or alive because they already killed my own family long time ago.”
“They? Do you mean-”
“Yes, there was a rumor said Capitol had planned to ruin Minseok hyung’s life, but I knew it was true. If it wasn’t them, who would be? No one cares enough to sweep everything away from us, unless they had a grudge against our family member. It wasn’t a coincidence he was chosen to be the tribute. They planned to put his life in danger so Minseok hyung wouldn’t have any choice rather than following what they wanted.”
“What happened between Minseok’s parents and them?” Luhan asks carefully.
“I’m not sure, Minseok hyung never really shared about this with me. I don’t have any courage to ask him either, I don’t want to hurt him.”
Luhan takes a deep breath, “Wow, I’ve lived around him for years and I know barely anything about him?”
“It’s not your fault-Minseok hyung is good at hiding things. He’s always like that, even so after our parents died. He could’ve moved to somewhere else, started a new life, but he chose to stay.” Kyungsoo smiles bitterly at Luhan, “When he has a belief of something, he’d always keep it above anything, even himself.”
“What do you mean?” Luhan asks, confused. Did Kyungsoo just change the topic without him knowing?
“You’d understand, someday. But if you really want to know, you could just ask Minseok hyung by yourself.”
Luhan sighs, and drinks his remaining tea down in one go-decided not to ask furthermore because Kyungsoo seems not cooperative with him right now. “Well, okay, thank you for your information. I guess I should go home now, it’s getting pretty late.”
“I told you, you can’t leave without eating my dessert,” Kyungsoo says, and Luhan laughs at him.
“I’m sorry Kyungsoo, I promise I’ll eat it next time.”
Kyungsoo sighs, “Okay then. Send my greeting to your family,”
Luhan nods. “See you later, Kyungsoo.”
“Luhan!”
Luhan turns around, “Yes?”
“Did you know why Minseok hyung saved you from the Hunger Games?”
Luhan stops walking. “And if you ask, then you do know something?”
“No, I just ask,” Kyungsoo shrugs. “I thought the uncomfortable between you and Minseok hyung was caused by that… but never mind. I’ve told you if you want to know, you’d ask Minseok hyung, haven’t I?”
Kyungsoo is hiding something.
When Luhan is going to open the front door, he almost bumps his head to Minseok’s face, for the second time. Minseok’s eyes widen and he quickly looks down, avoiding Luhan’s eyes.
“Sorry, didn’t realize you were going to open the door,” he says quietly.
“No, it was my fault. I should be more careful,” Luhan smiles a little, “I’m going home. Thank you for letting me stay, and I’m sorry I made you feel uneasy.”
Minseok mumbles something under his breath, and Luhan pats him on the shoulder, walking past him. But something holds Luhan-Minseok’s hand, firmly against his sleeve. Luhan blinks, doesn’t understand.
Minseok looks up to meet his eyes, brown pupils that Luhan never realized he misses so much staring straight into his soul. “I will walk you home.”
They don’t talk much during the walk, and Luhan’s house feels twice more far than usual. Luhan doesn’t start any conversation-he’s not sure what to talk, and Minseok seems he doesn’t want either. Luhan watches how he and Minseok walk in synchronize, and he chuckles.
“It’s funny,” he points to their shadows under a street lamp, “with us walking together, our shadows look like one. Even the head, it’s like it has your head and my hair.”
Minseok is not a type who cares about that kind of thing, but he smiles. Luhan smiles back, he almost explodes in feels because that was the first smile from Minseok since only God knows when. Minseok smiled much; in front of reporters, cameras, and people after they won the latest Hunger Games, but they weren’t the genuine one, and never really for Luhan. Luhan knows why. He knows it very well.
They fall into another silent. Luhan sighs, he has so many things to ask Minseok, but he doesn’t know where and how to start. Luhan never feels sure about anything on Minseok, to be honest.
“Uhm, Minseok?” Luhan finally, finally starts, and he continues when he feels Minseok turns his head at his direction, listening. “Why did you save me on The Game?”
Minseok doesn’t answer. Luhan not sure if he has to ask once again, or just wait until Minseok opens his mouth.
“I didn’t want to see even more people died in front of my eyes,” Minseok answers and his expression is gloomy, and Luhan’s heart hurts. “What’s so good from winning a competition if all of your opponents died? That’s unfair.”
“But that’s why Hunger Game is made, Minseok.”
“So? Was that my fault because I didn’t want to follow what they plotted me to do?”
They planned to put his life in danger, Luhan remembers what Kyungsoo has said, so Minseok hyung wouldn’t have any choice than following what they wanted. But what was they actually wanted from him?
“I don’t want to talk about this again,” Minseok says, half-pleads, and Luhan goes blank. “You’ll understand, but not now. I just-I can’t. The wound I made for putting someone apart of their families forever is still hurts like hell and-”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t ask you about this anymore, I promise.”
Minseok breathes, and Luhan sees him quivering.
“If you don’t mind, I’ll take my leave now.”
Luhan can see his house from here, it’s just for another short walk and as much as Luhan wants to keep Minseok here, he can’t. So he just nods, drives him with a simple see you later.
Luhan has a nightmare later that night.
He dreams about Capitol chasing after him around District 12, and they turning on the electricity on the metal fence that kills him the time he touched it. Luhan sees people with robot-like manners call out dog mutants to eat his body and Luhan feels weird because he can see, clearly, how his body being ripped out by those sharp teeth.
There’s Minseok there, too. Luhan doesn’t remember what does he do, but he’s quite sure Minseok was there. Minseok was always there.
Luhan wakes up in the worst condition ever after The Game. His body is aching, his heart pounding hard to his ear. Luhan needs some minutes to gather all of his consciousness before realizes there’s someone going around his house.
“Oh, so you are awake,” a tall man with big eyes and toothy grin peeps at his room’s door. “Good morning. I just made you breakfast, but you’re running out butter and jam. Do you want me to get it? I have some at mine.”
“W-wait, wait. Who are you?”
“Me?” the tall man steps to Luhan’s room without permission, his face look perplexed. “I’m Chanyeol, Luhan. Your best best friend. Neighbor, too, if you want to count it. We were friends since elementary school and I was the first one to notice your helpless crush to the cute boy next door named Minseok.”
Well, Luhan can believe him at his last sentence. “Okay, I know you. Next time please do proper greeting at me first before you start doing things at my house.”
Chanyeol shrugs, “I can’t wait you to wake up. Your whole house was a mess, you know. You didn’t even have something to eat. What happened yesterday? Did you fall from a cliff and hit your head?”
“Pretty close to that,” Luhan mumbles, “I met Minseok yesterday. Not that I wanted to meet him, I met Kyungsoo who’d done hunting and he invited me to dinner. And I happened to meet Minseok there.”
“Kyungsoo and Minseok are living together, Luhan. It’s not just happened.”
“Yeah, that’s what I meant.”
Chanyeol clicks his tongue. “And? How is your love of the life doing?”
“He’s doing well,” Luhan stares at the wooden floor, “guess he hasn’t forgiven me yet.”
“Understandable. He almost got himself killed to save you during Hunger Games, and he had to go through all the hardness post-Game. Do you think he’d forgive you easily? You’re lucky he doesn’t pay a killer to murder you in your sleep.”
“And you said you are my best friend,” Luhan snorts, annoyed.
Chanyeol laughs. “I made you orange juice,” he says. “I’ll back with butter and jam, so don’t go anywhere. And you owe me the full version of your story.”
Luhan nods weakly, he doesn’t really have any plan today. Before Hunger Games, his life was boring, on Hunger Games his life was always in danger and he couldn’t less aware of everything, now after Hunger Games, his life is miserable. Luhan wonders what makes him survive and not committing suicide until today.
Luhan walks to the kitchen and smiles-Chanyeol already cleaned the house and even made him a pitcher of juice. Luhan doesn’t remember since when Chanyeol cares this much of him, and he wonders if Chanyeol would still take care of his house if he had died on Hunger Games.
He was supposed to die in The Game, is what he has always thought. No one was supposed to come back alive except the one Capitol wanted to be the winner. And last year’s winner, was supposed to be Minseok-only him. But in the very last minute of the game Minseok pulled him up to Cornucopia and sucked the poisoned haze out of his lungs with his mouth. Luhan, knowing Minseok shouldn’t have done this, trying to free himself from Minseok’s arm and jump on the thick fog some meters under Cornucopia, but Minseok hold him still.
“If you jump, I jump.” Minseok said in a threatening voice. “If you are going to kill yourself, I do too. You better stay here or we won’t have a winner for this year’s game.”
Before Luhan could say anything, Minseok knocked him down unconscious and the time he woke up, he was in The Capitol, under several medical treatments and people congratulated him for being Hunger Game’s winner-with Minseok.
And since the day, Minseok hadn’t really talked to Luhan.
Chanyeol comes back ten minutes later, enthusiastically shows him a smells-so-good plastic bag on his hand.
“I bumped into Kyungsoo on the way here and he was going to pay a visit and give you his own made corn soup,” Chanyeol explains. “But I told him I was taking care of you today so he gave me this. He said I could eat too, he made the portion big enough to feed both of us. Wait here, I’ll get you some.” Chanyeol winks and runs to the kitchen.
Luhan sighs, a scene from his Hunger Games days flashing on his mind. How he and Minseok struggled on a beach full of predator mutants and they had to free themselves alive for a corn soup as reward-they hadn’t been eaten for two days. Minseok cursed when he saw the little amount of soup they received for a life-or-death matter, and gave it all to Luhan. Luhan laughed as he shoved half of it to Minseok’s mouth and asked him to shut up.
His heart tightens with another thought of Minseok.
Chanyeol sleeps soundly on the kitchen table when Luhan leaves his room to get some water. He looks so tired and Luhan doesn’t have a heart to wake him up, so he forgets about the water and stepping out instead.
Luhan walks to the metal fence and sits on the hard, grunge ground facing the huge thing. The dirt under him feels uncomfortable, but Luhan doesn’t really care. The sun is still enthusiastically shining and the weather is so close to the burning level, but Luhan enjoys the sting feel on his face when he looks up, challenging the megawatt power of solar.
“Burning heat isn’t good for sick people,” says a voice behind Luhan. Luhan turns around and his heart skips a beat to see Minseok, only few inches away from him, doesn’t do anything but already breathtakingly beautiful.
“Where did you know I was sick?” Luhan asks, tries not to shake when Minseok takes a place beside him, and comforts himself while sitting.
“Kyungsoo said he met Chanyeol when he was going to your house and Chanyeol said you were sick, and Kyungsoo felt so blissful he made you soup. He’s making more right now at home, and he’s already booked me to get it to you later.”
“Please tell Kyungsoo he shouldn’t do that for me. I’m good now, thanks to his soup. It tastes hundred times better than the one we had on The Game.” Luhan chuckles and he catches Minseok’s slight smile.
“The one we had was terrible,” Minseok adds-Luhan doesn’t expect Minseok to join on the topic, but he does, and it’s more than okay. “It tasted like bombs cooked with vegetables and water.”
Luhan snorts-the only way he can do to stop himself from bursting into laughter, because no one can joke with The Capitol; but badmouthing those devils is sometimes entertaining. “Yeah, good thing they didn’t put real bombs to surprise us.”
“I might rather die,” Minseok says, his voice serious, but then he forces a loud laugh. “God, they really did put much efforts to kill all of us. I feel so fucked up.”
Luhan wants to say they did, but they saved for one-because one of us was supposed to die and it was me, but he can’t open his mouth.
Minseok turns his body to face Luhan, eyes on his level and Luhan freezes though what he really wants is avoiding Minseok’s gaze because it hurts him, it hurts to imagine the toughness Minseok has to bear by himself after Hunger Games, as the consequence for bringing out another winner and definitely messes Hunger Games’ purity and pride. But Minseok doesn’t blame him, though Luhan knows it actually hurts and somehow Luhan regrets why Minseok had to save him back then. He could just let him die and claim the victory for himself without any burden.
“I’m sorry about yesterday, Luhan,” Minseok suddenly says after a moment of silent. “I didn’t mean to hurt you with what I did and what I said. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything, so you don’t have to sorry.” Luhan says, almost a whisper but enough for Minseok to hear.
“I did,” Minseok insists, “and that’s because something I don’t want you to know, but the more I keep it on myself, the more hurt I feel. Kyungsoo said to me plenty of times to spill it out to you, and explain everything, but I guess I was just too afraid to take the first step. And knowing that it impacts the same pains on you, I-I feel… sorry,”
Minseok takes a deep breath before starts explaining. “My dad was a Hunger Games winner some years ago, remember? And he worked for them, as Hunger Games’ system controller-the one who creates the circumstances during the game. From his work, he knew the list of people Capitol wanted them to die on Hunger Games, and one of them is my dad’s first love-my mom. My dad tried everything to keep my mom away from their plan, but he couldn’t do much. And it frustrated him, so he betrayed them and married to my mom.
“They hunted my dad from time to time, and my parents used to move from one place to another periodically to wash off Capitol’s suspiciousness on them. And they arrived here, my mom gave birth on me, and we lived peacefully until I grown up. And then I met you.
“When we were on the fourth grade of elementary school, my dad set up another transferal to District 3, but I was the only one who against it. I stubbornly said I didn’t, and wouldn’t want to leave District 12 for any reason. My mom was angry, and she even said she’d dump me to neighbor’s house if I don’t listen. But I didn’t care, I cried and cried until my dad carried me up on his back and brought me out the house.
“My dad wasn’t angry at me. Instead, he asked about you, if possibly, you were the reason why I disagree with the plan. Before I could answer him, my dad confessed that the first time he fell in love with my mom was when he was on my age, and he said the history sure repeats itself. I couldn’t get it at first, but as time passed, I understand that my dad knew I’ve fallen for you since then, and decided not to move anywhere else until… until the day they found my dad and burnt everything to ash.”
Minseok stops, chokes on a sob and Luhan, heart shattered into million pieces, wants to plead for Minseok not to continue his story, but Minseok keeps talking.
“My dad told me everything behind his escape all this time and the secret about his marriage when I was 15. I asked my dad if he ever regretted his choice, and my dad confidently said no. To meet my mom and build a family with her, raising me and Kyungsoo together, was the best thing ever happened on his life. If he had to die right then, he wouldn’t regret anything.
“I knew they chose me on Hunger Games to slowly kill me, to stifle me with pain until my death. They did it as far as chose you to be another tribute with me-they wanted me to see you died by my own eyes or even kill you with my hands. But I couldn’t let it happen, Luhan. I wouldn’t let them take what was left for me. The option was either we both announced as winners or we both die. Together.”
“But-Minseok-”
“I love you, Luhan,” Minseok says desperately, the voice reminds Luhan of yesterday when Minseok excused himself out and evaded from Luhan-it aches a bit, but those three words have more power and distracts Luhan for a while. “I love you that much I can’t tell you directly about what I feel because I’m afraid I, or they, would hurt you. I don’t want to lose you, I’m sorry…”
And Minseok literally steals Luhan’s breath away when he leans in, presses his lips to Luhan’s forehead.
“Come on, let’s go home.”
Chanyeol is on Luhan’s garden, grins widely when Luhan and Minseok arrive. “Oh, look who’s in good progress right now,” he says cheerfully. “Hello, Minseok hyung. Long time no see.”
“Hi, Chanyeol. Where have you been?”
“Just around here,” Chanyeol shrugs. “And you, you’re so annoying, Luhan. You saw me asleep and instead of woke me up, you went out with Minseok? Is that the way you thank me for caring at you and your house?!”
“Chill, Chanyeol,” Luhan laughs. “You looked tired and not waking you up is the way I thank you for everything today. If you want to leave, you can.”
“Nope, I won’t leave until dinner. Hey, how about having Minseok hyung and Kyungsoo too?”
Kyungsoo is so excited with the idea and he brings a lot of food with him, and Luhan can’t help but laugh at the way Chanyeol beams when he helps Kyungso set the table. They are going to have a feast here, for no particular reason, but Luhan feels so warm deep inside his heart. He already forgot the last time he feels this alive. He continuously watches three people walking here and there, bringing this and that, and no one asks him to do something like they are preparing a surprise party for Luhan.
“Agree to be social again, huh, Ice King?” Kyungsoo teases Minseok, who’s concentrating on lit the candles.
“Shut up,” Minseok glares because Kyungsoo breaks his focus, but then he gives up and put back the lighters onto the table. “I’ve been in love with him for years yet all I have done is hiding and being a statue. Don’t you think I am a genius?”
“You’re just too… insensitive. Took you too long to realize he’s feeling the same with you, but you were distancing yourself and it wasn’t his fault if he was hesitating, mainly after you acted like an asshole. If I weren’t your brother, I’d slap you both and get your ass back to reality, oblivious dummies.”
“It’s unfair how right you are about everything,” Minseok sighs. “Thank you, Kyungsoo. I’m nothing without you.”
“You are nothing without Luhan, hyung.” Kyungsoo smiles and pats Minseok on the back. “I’m so happy for you, brother. Now, ready to welcome the summer?”
“What.”
Kyungsoo and Chanyeol exchange a knowing glance when Minseok says he’s going to stay at Luhan’s. “You can walk my brother home first,” he says to Chanyeol.
“Okay,” Chanyeol grins. “Luhan won’t mind even if you stay all night though, will you, Lu-OW!”
“Stop saying nonsense,” Luhan growls at him, and Chanyeol fakes a groan while clutching at his arm that being abused roughly by Luhan.
“Okay, okay, let’s stop here. The front door isn’t locked, hyung, so feel free to come back at any time,” Kyungsoo winks. “Come on, Chanyeol.”
“Sure! Let’s go!” Chanyeol puts his long arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder, nearly chokes him. Before they leave, Chanyeol turns his head back and winks to Luhan, to have Luhan’s glare in return.
Luhan and Minseok sit on the couch after finished with the dish. There’s a space between them, and neither of them shift.
“When you told me you love me…” Luhan breathes, “Is it real or not real?”
Minseok turns his head, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” Luhan’s lips start trembling; he doesn’t know where was the urge to cry came from. “I just-I’m afraid if everything was only a dream. I’ve dreamt about it in so many ways, but they were all not real, and when you said it to me, I didn’t know if I can believe it or not. And when you kissed me-it felt so real, so real and if that was a dream I wouldn’t mind sleeping forever. I just-Minseok, I thought you hated me, I even regretted your decision to save me from Hunger Games-”
“Luhan, Luhan, stop,” Minseok jumps in panic, holds Luhan’s hands with both of his hands, eyes searching. But Luhan keeps avoiding his eyes, so Minseok has to touch his chin and bring it up. Luhan’s eyes are red, tears are forming at the corner and all Minseok wants to do is kiss him better.
“I didn’t know I’ve hurt you this much,” Minseok brushes his thumb on Luhan’s cheek, down to his lips. “I really am sorry, Luhan. But please believe me what I’ve said to you, I meant it, at every single word. It wasn’t a dream-it was real,” Minseok closes his eyes and inhales deeply, “please, believe me.”
Luhan holds Minseok’s fingers tightly, his fingers shaking but Minseok pretends he doesn’t notice.
“So… it’s real?”
“Yes,” Minseok moves closer, only an inch away from Luhan’s face. “Yes, Luhan. It’s real.”
And a soft press on Luhan’s lips brushes away all his fears.
“I heard Kyungsoo called you Ice King, why did he call you that?”
“Kyungsoo said I have a frozen heart, so I am the Ice King. It was ridiculous but also sounded cool, so I let him be.”
“But why?”
Minseok smiles, pulls Luhan until they are face to face, Minseok sits cross-legged comfortably. He holds Luhan’s palms, patting it gently. “This is my heart,” he says. “Everything precious to me live here. My parents, Kyungsoo, you-all of you have a special space on my heart.”
Then, he wraps Luhan’s palms with his own. “When I lost everything at my parents’ death, my heart is suddenly wrapped with a thick layer of ice. It’s cold, hard, and unbreakable. Nothing can touch my heart anymore, because I closed my heart from everyone, everything. But soon I realized, the inside of my heart is still alive. You were there, and you weren’t frozen like anything else. I was too selfish to let you break the layer, because I wanted you to be safe. Before I know, I hurt myself and hurt you too…” Minseok brings Luhan’s palms up and kisses it softly. “But the day when we met again when Kyungsoo invited you for dinner changed everything. I kept thinking about you, about us, and some other nights I dreamt about my dad. He smiled at me, encouraged me to tell you, because you have to know. I’m still sorry about everything, but I promise you I’ll fix it. I promise, okay?”
Luhan nods, smiles at Minseok who smiles back warmly. “We can do it from the beginning,” he whispers. “Is it okay?”
“It’s very okay,” Minseok lets go of Luhan’s hand and replace it with an embrace, sighs happily on Luhan’s crown. “But first, you have to break all the ice on my heart. Can you?”
Luhan tightens his hold on Minseok’s waist. “Challenge accepted.”
*ok so what is this sobs im a failed creature please forgive me
*this is unbeta-ed and im posting in rush lol sorry ;~;
*no one loves me but everyone loves xiuhan--fair enough.
Fandom : EXO
Pairing : Xiumin/Luhan
Length : 5.4k words
Summary : Hunger Games!AU. Minseok did save Luhan from the Game, and somehow, Luhan regrets it.
A/N: i changed a bit---a lot than what i had expected. i give my heart and soul for this au im gonna write this forever with different otps lol maybe. this is for my bae hana_dulset, because she's my bae. lol
frozen heart
It’s dark when Luhan walks himself to where his feet bring him. There’s no sign of life and all he can see is a huge cracked land with some helpless weeds fighting to keep alive on it-and they seem as miserable as everything around them.
Behind a high, long and seemingly terrifying metal fence is where Luhan stops. The fence has at least five signs of Danger! High Voltage but Luhan knows the signs are there only to fool prisoners who’s trying to escape from Capitol’s jail-the jail is only a few kilometers from here-and trying to enter this district illegally.
“Luhan?” someone calls him. “What are you doing here?”
Luhan turns around to a tiny man with doe eyes who looks really squishy and cute, but the impressions are really wrong when you take a look at his strong, muscled arms. One of the arms Luhan’s talking about is holding two dead partridges and the other is holding a bow.
“Hi, Kyungsoo,” Luhan greets, “Just walking around. You’ve finished your daily hunt?”
“I was bored so I went hunting. Minseok hyung had done the daily for today.” Kyungsoo answers and Luhan’s heart clenches at the name Kyungsoo mentioned in. The other boy examines his face silently, still looking suspicious. “Are you sure you’re only walking around here?”
Luhan nods, “Why, do I look like someone who’s planning to get out of this goddamn district by climb up this fence?”
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, “You do.”
Luhan chokes out a laugh-hoping Kyungsoo won’t notice how true he sounds just now-and gives Kyungsoo’s arm a light punch. “Well, sorry to disappoint but I am not. And I can’t, so I wouldn’t. You know my life has been controlled by Capitol since The Game and I have no way to walk out from this… fate.”
“Minseok hyung had said something oddly similar to what you said,” Kyungsoo says, “Are you guys practicing or something? I mean even after you guys won the game? We do know everything Capitol-related is all scripted, but seriously, I’m not one of them, can’t you just talk to me without anything that sounds like them?”
Luhan sighs, “Sorry,” he says, and he really means it. “I’m sorry.”
Kyungsoo shrugs at Luhan’s apology. “Nah, let’s just forget it and have a delicious dinner at our place tonight, would you?”
Luhan grins. “I wouldn’t turn down this one, of course.”
Minseok is toweling his wet hair when Luhan enters the house, and they almost bump into each other in progress. Luhan quickly grabs the doorframe and balances himself, while Minseok puts down his towel and blinks confusedly; doesn’t expect to meet a guest.
“Oh, hello,” he awkwardly greets Luhan, “I didn’t know Kyungsoo would bring someone home.”
“It was an impromptu invitation, though,” Kyungsoo says. “I’m going to prepare dinner, please bear with the wait. I’ll be back in twenty minutes, okay?”
Twenty minutes, Luhan repeats to himself. He wonders how long twenty minutes would be with only him and Minseok in the room. But Minseok already said a yes, and all-smiling Kyungsoo leaves them in the living room-and Luhan really wants to dig a hole and hide there until Kyungsoo finished preparing dinner.
“Well, I suppose he left us to have a conversation,” Minseok opens up, twisting his towel and clearly looks uncomfortable. “We haven’t really talked after The Game, have we?”
“I-I guess so,” Luhan says, as uncomfortable as Minseok. The atmosphere feels so thick and Luhan can feel no air around him, he bets in five minutes or so he would gasp for air like a fish on the ground. “But-you don’t have to do any with me, if you don’t want to.”
“What do you mean?” Minseok frowns, “Luhan, I am not your enemy. Stop acting like I’m one.”
Oh.
Well, good thing Minseok doesn’t know Luhan’s real enemy is actually himself.
“It’s acceptable if you feel uncomfortable with me, after The Game… and after what you’ve done for me there. That’s why I’m not forcing you into anything, with me; because I know you probably don’t want to get involved to me anymore. So-I’m sorry-”
Luhan doesn’t continue his sentence, and Minseok doesn’t comment. Luhan hears Minseok sighs, but he’s not quite sure why Minseok does. The only option Luhan can offer is he looks even more disgusting in Minseok’s eyes, and if Minseok can use his special rights outside the Capitol, Minseok might have strangled him to death-because one of his rights is he can take someone’s life when that someone is disturbing him. Luhan deserves that for being such an idiot.
“Stupid,” Minseok mumbles under his breath, loud enough for Luhan to hear. Luhan agrees, that’s why he’s not saying anything and lets Minseok gets up from the couch and walking to the door.
“I’m outside if Kyungsoo asks,” Minseok says without turning around.
The dinner Kyungsoo made is delicious but they taste bitter in Luhan’s tongue. He can’t help but always trying to steal a glance to Minseok, who eats silently right across him. Kyungsoo puts down his spoon and looks at Luhan and Minseok back and forth.
“What is wrong with you two?” the boy asks, a bit irritated by the view in front of him.
“It’s nothing,” Luhan quickly says, and he feels Minseok looks up at him but he doesn’t say anything. “I guess I did come in bad timing. I’ll leave after I finished my plate, so don’t worry.”
“No, no guest can leave this house before they eat dessert,” Kyungsoo insists. “Is it okay, Minseok hyung?”
Minseok still doesn’t answer, and Luhan feels so, so bad. He shouldn’t have come here at the first place. Probably leaving Minseok alone and avoiding him forever is the best thing he can do, even though Luhan can’t envisage how hurts that would feel.
“I’ll be away for a while,” Minseok gets up instead, and both Luhan and Kyungsoo look at him in confuse. “Luhan can stay here. But if he wants to leave before I’m back, it’s fine too.”
“Hyung-?” Kyungsoo’s voice raises.
“Please,” Minseok says, in a somewhat desperate voice, and Kyungsoo gulps before throws a glance to Luhan. He’s looking down, like a heavy load has placed on his shoulder. Kyungsoo sighs, it can’t be helped, he guesses, and Minseok is probably needs some time to be alone.
“Don’t take too long,” Kyungsoo finally says, “And don’t do anything that might kill you.”
Minseok nods, quietly shuts the door behind his back and now with Minseok’s leave, seems like the room grows a giant black hole, ready to suck Luhan in. Kyungsoo probably feels the same, he shifts uncomfortably on his seat, before gets up to the kitchen in excuse to prepare him something to drink.
“Minseok hyung lost everything a year before he was chosen to be Hunger Games tribute with you,” Kyungsoo says and Luhan stops sipping on his tea. “Of course you knew that, too. When our house burnt to ash, and his-our parents died, along with everything we had. Father’s barn, Mother’s little store, and Minseok hyung’s favorite bicycle. I was the only thing left with him, well, I’m not originally belong to Kim family, so they wouldn’t need to kill me too. Or probably they just didn’t care whether I’m dead or alive because they already killed my own family long time ago.”
“They? Do you mean-”
“Yes, there was a rumor said Capitol had planned to ruin Minseok hyung’s life, but I knew it was true. If it wasn’t them, who would be? No one cares enough to sweep everything away from us, unless they had a grudge against our family member. It wasn’t a coincidence he was chosen to be the tribute. They planned to put his life in danger so Minseok hyung wouldn’t have any choice rather than following what they wanted.”
“What happened between Minseok’s parents and them?” Luhan asks carefully.
“I’m not sure, Minseok hyung never really shared about this with me. I don’t have any courage to ask him either, I don’t want to hurt him.”
Luhan takes a deep breath, “Wow, I’ve lived around him for years and I know barely anything about him?”
“It’s not your fault-Minseok hyung is good at hiding things. He’s always like that, even so after our parents died. He could’ve moved to somewhere else, started a new life, but he chose to stay.” Kyungsoo smiles bitterly at Luhan, “When he has a belief of something, he’d always keep it above anything, even himself.”
“What do you mean?” Luhan asks, confused. Did Kyungsoo just change the topic without him knowing?
“You’d understand, someday. But if you really want to know, you could just ask Minseok hyung by yourself.”
Luhan sighs, and drinks his remaining tea down in one go-decided not to ask furthermore because Kyungsoo seems not cooperative with him right now. “Well, okay, thank you for your information. I guess I should go home now, it’s getting pretty late.”
“I told you, you can’t leave without eating my dessert,” Kyungsoo says, and Luhan laughs at him.
“I’m sorry Kyungsoo, I promise I’ll eat it next time.”
Kyungsoo sighs, “Okay then. Send my greeting to your family,”
Luhan nods. “See you later, Kyungsoo.”
“Luhan!”
Luhan turns around, “Yes?”
“Did you know why Minseok hyung saved you from the Hunger Games?”
Luhan stops walking. “And if you ask, then you do know something?”
“No, I just ask,” Kyungsoo shrugs. “I thought the uncomfortable between you and Minseok hyung was caused by that… but never mind. I’ve told you if you want to know, you’d ask Minseok hyung, haven’t I?”
Kyungsoo is hiding something.
When Luhan is going to open the front door, he almost bumps his head to Minseok’s face, for the second time. Minseok’s eyes widen and he quickly looks down, avoiding Luhan’s eyes.
“Sorry, didn’t realize you were going to open the door,” he says quietly.
“No, it was my fault. I should be more careful,” Luhan smiles a little, “I’m going home. Thank you for letting me stay, and I’m sorry I made you feel uneasy.”
Minseok mumbles something under his breath, and Luhan pats him on the shoulder, walking past him. But something holds Luhan-Minseok’s hand, firmly against his sleeve. Luhan blinks, doesn’t understand.
Minseok looks up to meet his eyes, brown pupils that Luhan never realized he misses so much staring straight into his soul. “I will walk you home.”
They don’t talk much during the walk, and Luhan’s house feels twice more far than usual. Luhan doesn’t start any conversation-he’s not sure what to talk, and Minseok seems he doesn’t want either. Luhan watches how he and Minseok walk in synchronize, and he chuckles.
“It’s funny,” he points to their shadows under a street lamp, “with us walking together, our shadows look like one. Even the head, it’s like it has your head and my hair.”
Minseok is not a type who cares about that kind of thing, but he smiles. Luhan smiles back, he almost explodes in feels because that was the first smile from Minseok since only God knows when. Minseok smiled much; in front of reporters, cameras, and people after they won the latest Hunger Games, but they weren’t the genuine one, and never really for Luhan. Luhan knows why. He knows it very well.
They fall into another silent. Luhan sighs, he has so many things to ask Minseok, but he doesn’t know where and how to start. Luhan never feels sure about anything on Minseok, to be honest.
“Uhm, Minseok?” Luhan finally, finally starts, and he continues when he feels Minseok turns his head at his direction, listening. “Why did you save me on The Game?”
Minseok doesn’t answer. Luhan not sure if he has to ask once again, or just wait until Minseok opens his mouth.
“I didn’t want to see even more people died in front of my eyes,” Minseok answers and his expression is gloomy, and Luhan’s heart hurts. “What’s so good from winning a competition if all of your opponents died? That’s unfair.”
“But that’s why Hunger Game is made, Minseok.”
“So? Was that my fault because I didn’t want to follow what they plotted me to do?”
They planned to put his life in danger, Luhan remembers what Kyungsoo has said, so Minseok hyung wouldn’t have any choice than following what they wanted. But what was they actually wanted from him?
“I don’t want to talk about this again,” Minseok says, half-pleads, and Luhan goes blank. “You’ll understand, but not now. I just-I can’t. The wound I made for putting someone apart of their families forever is still hurts like hell and-”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t ask you about this anymore, I promise.”
Minseok breathes, and Luhan sees him quivering.
“If you don’t mind, I’ll take my leave now.”
Luhan can see his house from here, it’s just for another short walk and as much as Luhan wants to keep Minseok here, he can’t. So he just nods, drives him with a simple see you later.
Luhan has a nightmare later that night.
He dreams about Capitol chasing after him around District 12, and they turning on the electricity on the metal fence that kills him the time he touched it. Luhan sees people with robot-like manners call out dog mutants to eat his body and Luhan feels weird because he can see, clearly, how his body being ripped out by those sharp teeth.
There’s Minseok there, too. Luhan doesn’t remember what does he do, but he’s quite sure Minseok was there. Minseok was always there.
Luhan wakes up in the worst condition ever after The Game. His body is aching, his heart pounding hard to his ear. Luhan needs some minutes to gather all of his consciousness before realizes there’s someone going around his house.
“Oh, so you are awake,” a tall man with big eyes and toothy grin peeps at his room’s door. “Good morning. I just made you breakfast, but you’re running out butter and jam. Do you want me to get it? I have some at mine.”
“W-wait, wait. Who are you?”
“Me?” the tall man steps to Luhan’s room without permission, his face look perplexed. “I’m Chanyeol, Luhan. Your best best friend. Neighbor, too, if you want to count it. We were friends since elementary school and I was the first one to notice your helpless crush to the cute boy next door named Minseok.”
Well, Luhan can believe him at his last sentence. “Okay, I know you. Next time please do proper greeting at me first before you start doing things at my house.”
Chanyeol shrugs, “I can’t wait you to wake up. Your whole house was a mess, you know. You didn’t even have something to eat. What happened yesterday? Did you fall from a cliff and hit your head?”
“Pretty close to that,” Luhan mumbles, “I met Minseok yesterday. Not that I wanted to meet him, I met Kyungsoo who’d done hunting and he invited me to dinner. And I happened to meet Minseok there.”
“Kyungsoo and Minseok are living together, Luhan. It’s not just happened.”
“Yeah, that’s what I meant.”
Chanyeol clicks his tongue. “And? How is your love of the life doing?”
“He’s doing well,” Luhan stares at the wooden floor, “guess he hasn’t forgiven me yet.”
“Understandable. He almost got himself killed to save you during Hunger Games, and he had to go through all the hardness post-Game. Do you think he’d forgive you easily? You’re lucky he doesn’t pay a killer to murder you in your sleep.”
“And you said you are my best friend,” Luhan snorts, annoyed.
Chanyeol laughs. “I made you orange juice,” he says. “I’ll back with butter and jam, so don’t go anywhere. And you owe me the full version of your story.”
Luhan nods weakly, he doesn’t really have any plan today. Before Hunger Games, his life was boring, on Hunger Games his life was always in danger and he couldn’t less aware of everything, now after Hunger Games, his life is miserable. Luhan wonders what makes him survive and not committing suicide until today.
Luhan walks to the kitchen and smiles-Chanyeol already cleaned the house and even made him a pitcher of juice. Luhan doesn’t remember since when Chanyeol cares this much of him, and he wonders if Chanyeol would still take care of his house if he had died on Hunger Games.
He was supposed to die in The Game, is what he has always thought. No one was supposed to come back alive except the one Capitol wanted to be the winner. And last year’s winner, was supposed to be Minseok-only him. But in the very last minute of the game Minseok pulled him up to Cornucopia and sucked the poisoned haze out of his lungs with his mouth. Luhan, knowing Minseok shouldn’t have done this, trying to free himself from Minseok’s arm and jump on the thick fog some meters under Cornucopia, but Minseok hold him still.
“If you jump, I jump.” Minseok said in a threatening voice. “If you are going to kill yourself, I do too. You better stay here or we won’t have a winner for this year’s game.”
Before Luhan could say anything, Minseok knocked him down unconscious and the time he woke up, he was in The Capitol, under several medical treatments and people congratulated him for being Hunger Game’s winner-with Minseok.
And since the day, Minseok hadn’t really talked to Luhan.
Chanyeol comes back ten minutes later, enthusiastically shows him a smells-so-good plastic bag on his hand.
“I bumped into Kyungsoo on the way here and he was going to pay a visit and give you his own made corn soup,” Chanyeol explains. “But I told him I was taking care of you today so he gave me this. He said I could eat too, he made the portion big enough to feed both of us. Wait here, I’ll get you some.” Chanyeol winks and runs to the kitchen.
Luhan sighs, a scene from his Hunger Games days flashing on his mind. How he and Minseok struggled on a beach full of predator mutants and they had to free themselves alive for a corn soup as reward-they hadn’t been eaten for two days. Minseok cursed when he saw the little amount of soup they received for a life-or-death matter, and gave it all to Luhan. Luhan laughed as he shoved half of it to Minseok’s mouth and asked him to shut up.
His heart tightens with another thought of Minseok.
Chanyeol sleeps soundly on the kitchen table when Luhan leaves his room to get some water. He looks so tired and Luhan doesn’t have a heart to wake him up, so he forgets about the water and stepping out instead.
Luhan walks to the metal fence and sits on the hard, grunge ground facing the huge thing. The dirt under him feels uncomfortable, but Luhan doesn’t really care. The sun is still enthusiastically shining and the weather is so close to the burning level, but Luhan enjoys the sting feel on his face when he looks up, challenging the megawatt power of solar.
“Burning heat isn’t good for sick people,” says a voice behind Luhan. Luhan turns around and his heart skips a beat to see Minseok, only few inches away from him, doesn’t do anything but already breathtakingly beautiful.
“Where did you know I was sick?” Luhan asks, tries not to shake when Minseok takes a place beside him, and comforts himself while sitting.
“Kyungsoo said he met Chanyeol when he was going to your house and Chanyeol said you were sick, and Kyungsoo felt so blissful he made you soup. He’s making more right now at home, and he’s already booked me to get it to you later.”
“Please tell Kyungsoo he shouldn’t do that for me. I’m good now, thanks to his soup. It tastes hundred times better than the one we had on The Game.” Luhan chuckles and he catches Minseok’s slight smile.
“The one we had was terrible,” Minseok adds-Luhan doesn’t expect Minseok to join on the topic, but he does, and it’s more than okay. “It tasted like bombs cooked with vegetables and water.”
Luhan snorts-the only way he can do to stop himself from bursting into laughter, because no one can joke with The Capitol; but badmouthing those devils is sometimes entertaining. “Yeah, good thing they didn’t put real bombs to surprise us.”
“I might rather die,” Minseok says, his voice serious, but then he forces a loud laugh. “God, they really did put much efforts to kill all of us. I feel so fucked up.”
Luhan wants to say they did, but they saved for one-because one of us was supposed to die and it was me, but he can’t open his mouth.
Minseok turns his body to face Luhan, eyes on his level and Luhan freezes though what he really wants is avoiding Minseok’s gaze because it hurts him, it hurts to imagine the toughness Minseok has to bear by himself after Hunger Games, as the consequence for bringing out another winner and definitely messes Hunger Games’ purity and pride. But Minseok doesn’t blame him, though Luhan knows it actually hurts and somehow Luhan regrets why Minseok had to save him back then. He could just let him die and claim the victory for himself without any burden.
“I’m sorry about yesterday, Luhan,” Minseok suddenly says after a moment of silent. “I didn’t mean to hurt you with what I did and what I said. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything, so you don’t have to sorry.” Luhan says, almost a whisper but enough for Minseok to hear.
“I did,” Minseok insists, “and that’s because something I don’t want you to know, but the more I keep it on myself, the more hurt I feel. Kyungsoo said to me plenty of times to spill it out to you, and explain everything, but I guess I was just too afraid to take the first step. And knowing that it impacts the same pains on you, I-I feel… sorry,”
Minseok takes a deep breath before starts explaining. “My dad was a Hunger Games winner some years ago, remember? And he worked for them, as Hunger Games’ system controller-the one who creates the circumstances during the game. From his work, he knew the list of people Capitol wanted them to die on Hunger Games, and one of them is my dad’s first love-my mom. My dad tried everything to keep my mom away from their plan, but he couldn’t do much. And it frustrated him, so he betrayed them and married to my mom.
“They hunted my dad from time to time, and my parents used to move from one place to another periodically to wash off Capitol’s suspiciousness on them. And they arrived here, my mom gave birth on me, and we lived peacefully until I grown up. And then I met you.
“When we were on the fourth grade of elementary school, my dad set up another transferal to District 3, but I was the only one who against it. I stubbornly said I didn’t, and wouldn’t want to leave District 12 for any reason. My mom was angry, and she even said she’d dump me to neighbor’s house if I don’t listen. But I didn’t care, I cried and cried until my dad carried me up on his back and brought me out the house.
“My dad wasn’t angry at me. Instead, he asked about you, if possibly, you were the reason why I disagree with the plan. Before I could answer him, my dad confessed that the first time he fell in love with my mom was when he was on my age, and he said the history sure repeats itself. I couldn’t get it at first, but as time passed, I understand that my dad knew I’ve fallen for you since then, and decided not to move anywhere else until… until the day they found my dad and burnt everything to ash.”
Minseok stops, chokes on a sob and Luhan, heart shattered into million pieces, wants to plead for Minseok not to continue his story, but Minseok keeps talking.
“My dad told me everything behind his escape all this time and the secret about his marriage when I was 15. I asked my dad if he ever regretted his choice, and my dad confidently said no. To meet my mom and build a family with her, raising me and Kyungsoo together, was the best thing ever happened on his life. If he had to die right then, he wouldn’t regret anything.
“I knew they chose me on Hunger Games to slowly kill me, to stifle me with pain until my death. They did it as far as chose you to be another tribute with me-they wanted me to see you died by my own eyes or even kill you with my hands. But I couldn’t let it happen, Luhan. I wouldn’t let them take what was left for me. The option was either we both announced as winners or we both die. Together.”
“But-Minseok-”
“I love you, Luhan,” Minseok says desperately, the voice reminds Luhan of yesterday when Minseok excused himself out and evaded from Luhan-it aches a bit, but those three words have more power and distracts Luhan for a while. “I love you that much I can’t tell you directly about what I feel because I’m afraid I, or they, would hurt you. I don’t want to lose you, I’m sorry…”
And Minseok literally steals Luhan’s breath away when he leans in, presses his lips to Luhan’s forehead.
“Come on, let’s go home.”
Chanyeol is on Luhan’s garden, grins widely when Luhan and Minseok arrive. “Oh, look who’s in good progress right now,” he says cheerfully. “Hello, Minseok hyung. Long time no see.”
“Hi, Chanyeol. Where have you been?”
“Just around here,” Chanyeol shrugs. “And you, you’re so annoying, Luhan. You saw me asleep and instead of woke me up, you went out with Minseok? Is that the way you thank me for caring at you and your house?!”
“Chill, Chanyeol,” Luhan laughs. “You looked tired and not waking you up is the way I thank you for everything today. If you want to leave, you can.”
“Nope, I won’t leave until dinner. Hey, how about having Minseok hyung and Kyungsoo too?”
Kyungsoo is so excited with the idea and he brings a lot of food with him, and Luhan can’t help but laugh at the way Chanyeol beams when he helps Kyungso set the table. They are going to have a feast here, for no particular reason, but Luhan feels so warm deep inside his heart. He already forgot the last time he feels this alive. He continuously watches three people walking here and there, bringing this and that, and no one asks him to do something like they are preparing a surprise party for Luhan.
“Agree to be social again, huh, Ice King?” Kyungsoo teases Minseok, who’s concentrating on lit the candles.
“Shut up,” Minseok glares because Kyungsoo breaks his focus, but then he gives up and put back the lighters onto the table. “I’ve been in love with him for years yet all I have done is hiding and being a statue. Don’t you think I am a genius?”
“You’re just too… insensitive. Took you too long to realize he’s feeling the same with you, but you were distancing yourself and it wasn’t his fault if he was hesitating, mainly after you acted like an asshole. If I weren’t your brother, I’d slap you both and get your ass back to reality, oblivious dummies.”
“It’s unfair how right you are about everything,” Minseok sighs. “Thank you, Kyungsoo. I’m nothing without you.”
“You are nothing without Luhan, hyung.” Kyungsoo smiles and pats Minseok on the back. “I’m so happy for you, brother. Now, ready to welcome the summer?”
“What.”
Kyungsoo and Chanyeol exchange a knowing glance when Minseok says he’s going to stay at Luhan’s. “You can walk my brother home first,” he says to Chanyeol.
“Okay,” Chanyeol grins. “Luhan won’t mind even if you stay all night though, will you, Lu-OW!”
“Stop saying nonsense,” Luhan growls at him, and Chanyeol fakes a groan while clutching at his arm that being abused roughly by Luhan.
“Okay, okay, let’s stop here. The front door isn’t locked, hyung, so feel free to come back at any time,” Kyungsoo winks. “Come on, Chanyeol.”
“Sure! Let’s go!” Chanyeol puts his long arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder, nearly chokes him. Before they leave, Chanyeol turns his head back and winks to Luhan, to have Luhan’s glare in return.
Luhan and Minseok sit on the couch after finished with the dish. There’s a space between them, and neither of them shift.
“When you told me you love me…” Luhan breathes, “Is it real or not real?”
Minseok turns his head, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” Luhan’s lips start trembling; he doesn’t know where was the urge to cry came from. “I just-I’m afraid if everything was only a dream. I’ve dreamt about it in so many ways, but they were all not real, and when you said it to me, I didn’t know if I can believe it or not. And when you kissed me-it felt so real, so real and if that was a dream I wouldn’t mind sleeping forever. I just-Minseok, I thought you hated me, I even regretted your decision to save me from Hunger Games-”
“Luhan, Luhan, stop,” Minseok jumps in panic, holds Luhan’s hands with both of his hands, eyes searching. But Luhan keeps avoiding his eyes, so Minseok has to touch his chin and bring it up. Luhan’s eyes are red, tears are forming at the corner and all Minseok wants to do is kiss him better.
“I didn’t know I’ve hurt you this much,” Minseok brushes his thumb on Luhan’s cheek, down to his lips. “I really am sorry, Luhan. But please believe me what I’ve said to you, I meant it, at every single word. It wasn’t a dream-it was real,” Minseok closes his eyes and inhales deeply, “please, believe me.”
Luhan holds Minseok’s fingers tightly, his fingers shaking but Minseok pretends he doesn’t notice.
“So… it’s real?”
“Yes,” Minseok moves closer, only an inch away from Luhan’s face. “Yes, Luhan. It’s real.”
And a soft press on Luhan’s lips brushes away all his fears.
“I heard Kyungsoo called you Ice King, why did he call you that?”
“Kyungsoo said I have a frozen heart, so I am the Ice King. It was ridiculous but also sounded cool, so I let him be.”
“But why?”
Minseok smiles, pulls Luhan until they are face to face, Minseok sits cross-legged comfortably. He holds Luhan’s palms, patting it gently. “This is my heart,” he says. “Everything precious to me live here. My parents, Kyungsoo, you-all of you have a special space on my heart.”
Then, he wraps Luhan’s palms with his own. “When I lost everything at my parents’ death, my heart is suddenly wrapped with a thick layer of ice. It’s cold, hard, and unbreakable. Nothing can touch my heart anymore, because I closed my heart from everyone, everything. But soon I realized, the inside of my heart is still alive. You were there, and you weren’t frozen like anything else. I was too selfish to let you break the layer, because I wanted you to be safe. Before I know, I hurt myself and hurt you too…” Minseok brings Luhan’s palms up and kisses it softly. “But the day when we met again when Kyungsoo invited you for dinner changed everything. I kept thinking about you, about us, and some other nights I dreamt about my dad. He smiled at me, encouraged me to tell you, because you have to know. I’m still sorry about everything, but I promise you I’ll fix it. I promise, okay?”
Luhan nods, smiles at Minseok who smiles back warmly. “We can do it from the beginning,” he whispers. “Is it okay?”
“It’s very okay,” Minseok lets go of Luhan’s hand and replace it with an embrace, sighs happily on Luhan’s crown. “But first, you have to break all the ice on my heart. Can you?”
Luhan tightens his hold on Minseok’s waist. “Challenge accepted.”
*ok so what is this sobs im a failed creature please forgive me
*this is unbeta-ed and im posting in rush lol sorry ;~;
*no one loves me but everyone loves xiuhan--fair enough.