Grounded (Part 1 of 2)
Title: Grounded
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu
Rating: PG-13 for now
Length: Two-shot
Summary: Yoochun doesn't always feel fully intact, and even though he knows why, he's too scared to admit the reason.
This is part of a late Christmas present for suju_shinki .__.
Some days Yoochun wakes up and feels like a different person - the features staring back at him are foreign, unfamiliar, and it's as if he's seeing himself for the first time.
Those are the days where he walks around in a trance, body and soul misaligned, almost detached, and it's not until Jaejoong is snapping his fingers in front of Yoochun's face that Yoochun realizes he's staring off.
"You've been acting weird."
Yoochun shakes his head even though he knows it's true. This isn't a conversation that he wants to have right now.
"It's because Junsu's gone, isn't it?" and the way Yoochun's face leaps from blank and distant to defensive lets Jaejoong know he's right.
"Of course not" Yoochun snaps, and Jaejoong leans in from across the kitchen table, eyes boring into Yoochun's.
"The thing about you, Yoochun" Jaejoong begins "is that you're afraid, and you're punishing yourself for it. Junsu loves you. Stop running away from everything good in your life." And with that Jaejoong stands up, leaving Yoochun behind to blink confusedly at his empty seat.
.
Junsu returns days later, but it's late and Yoochun is already in bed. He's not sleeping, but he's not sure if Junsu knows that, and his chest tightens as he hears Junsu pause outside his door. There's a soft knock, and as much as Yoochun wants to see Junsu, he can't bring himself to answer.
Junsu enters anyway, a thin stream of light breaking through the darkness, then vanishing almost as quickly as Junsu closes the door behind him. The only light is coming in from the city, pale and dim through the curtains, but it's enough that Junsu can see the outline of Yoochun's body.
Yoochun feels the bed dip behind him as Junsu sits on the edge, and he can sense the younger man's gaze on him. After several moments of pointed stillness, Yoochun realizes that Junsu is waiting for him to turn over. He knows that Yoochun isn't sleeping.
“I talked to Jaejoong” Junsu whispers, voice seeming small against the heavy silence.
Yoochun’s stomach immediately drops, and he begins mentally swearing Jaejoong into another dimension. He knows what's about to come, and he doesn't want to have this conversation right now either because yes, goddamnit, he is afraid, and facing his fears was never his forté. He takes a steadying breath and turns to face the younger man.
Junsu isn't surprised, just as Yoochun had expected, but he does look a little hurt, and Yoochun immediately feels a pang of guilt for not waiting up to greet him like usual. He wants to apologize, to explain, to confess, and he's sitting up to do so, but there's so much he wants to say at once that he doesn't know where to begin, and all the words and sentences start running together in his mind, creating a verbal traffic jam that prevents anything but stuttered syllables from escaping.
"Junsu” he stammers, “I'm sorry, I know you're not gay so can we just forget-”
Junsu interrupts by leaning in and pressing his lips to Yoochun's.
It's just a soft brush of lips at first, nothing more than a timid graze, but it's enough to make Yoochun's breath catch, and his whole body tenses in surprise. He feels the need to pinch himself as Junsu places small, soft kisses to the corner of his mouth because surely this couldn't be his Junsu. Shy Junsu. Straight Junsu.
Yoochun can't seem to move or breathe, and although Junsu doesn't move away Yoochun can feel him begin to panic at the lack of response. Yoochun screams at himself, begging his traitorous body to move, to ignore the hundreds of questions racing through his mind, to do something, anything, because if he runs away now he could lose this forever.
Junsu begins to pull away, uncertain and embarrassed, and finally Yoochun's mind releases the restraints against his body. He grabs Junsu's wrist, pulls him back, and their lips meet again. Yoochun reaches up, bringing his hand to the back of Junsu's neck to draw him closer.
Junsu adjusts, twisting to draw up his legs as he allows himself to be pulled down, body pressed flush against Yoochun's. Their lips stay connected and Junsu hooks his leg over Yoochun's thigh, locking their legs together, and he tentatively swipes his tongue along Yoochun's bottom lip.
Yoochun whimpers softly and parts his lips, allowing Junsu to deepen the kiss. He tangles his fingers in Junsu’s hair, shivering as their tongues meet, warm and slick, twining together in a dance of desperation and longing and why the hell did it take this long.
They take their time exploring each other’s mouths, running tongues over teeth and lips, licking, suckling softly, desperately striving for more so that the only thing they can taste and feel is each other. Junsu cradles Yoochun's face with one hand, and this is exactly what Yoochun needs, this wordlessness, this passion, and of course Junsu is the only one who can give it to him.
Yoochun breaks apart, fighting the feeling of “too much” and he turns into the touch, lips ghosting timidly over Junsu's palm. They're both breathing heavily and Yoochun blinks hard against the tears welling in his eyes, heart swelling as Junsu presses his forehead against Yoochun’s temple, hand still cradling his opposite cheek.
A small "Yoochun" escapes Junsu's lips, barely a whisper, and Yoochun still can't bring himself to open his eyes. Junsu softly grips Yoochun's chin between his forefinger and thumb, and he directs Yoochun towards him. "Yoochun" he says again, and this time as Yoochun's breath hitches, he does open his eyes.
Junsu's eyes are shining, and he's biting the inside of his lip against a smile. Yoochun sniffs as he breaks out into a smile too, and he pulls the younger man down to hug him tight.
"I love you, Yoochun" Junsu whispers. He presses another soft kiss to Yoochun's ear and nuzzles his hair. "I love you so much"
Yoochun's heart clenches at the words, and he tightens his embrace, whispering a quiet "I love you too, Su. I've always loved you"
.
Some days Yoochun wakes up and feels like a different person - the features staring back at him are foreign, unfamiliar, and it's as if he's seeing himself for the first time.
Those are the days where he walks around in a trance, body and soul misaligned, almost detached, and it's not until Junsu comes up to hug him from behind, pressing a kiss to his shoulder as they watch themselves in the bathroom mirror that he realizes exactly who he is.
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu
Rating: PG-13 for now
Length: Two-shot
Summary: Yoochun doesn't always feel fully intact, and even though he knows why, he's too scared to admit the reason.
This is part of a late Christmas present for suju_shinki .__.
Some days Yoochun wakes up and feels like a different person - the features staring back at him are foreign, unfamiliar, and it's as if he's seeing himself for the first time.
Those are the days where he walks around in a trance, body and soul misaligned, almost detached, and it's not until Jaejoong is snapping his fingers in front of Yoochun's face that Yoochun realizes he's staring off.
"You've been acting weird."
Yoochun shakes his head even though he knows it's true. This isn't a conversation that he wants to have right now.
"It's because Junsu's gone, isn't it?" and the way Yoochun's face leaps from blank and distant to defensive lets Jaejoong know he's right.
"Of course not" Yoochun snaps, and Jaejoong leans in from across the kitchen table, eyes boring into Yoochun's.
"The thing about you, Yoochun" Jaejoong begins "is that you're afraid, and you're punishing yourself for it. Junsu loves you. Stop running away from everything good in your life." And with that Jaejoong stands up, leaving Yoochun behind to blink confusedly at his empty seat.
.
Junsu returns days later, but it's late and Yoochun is already in bed. He's not sleeping, but he's not sure if Junsu knows that, and his chest tightens as he hears Junsu pause outside his door. There's a soft knock, and as much as Yoochun wants to see Junsu, he can't bring himself to answer.
Junsu enters anyway, a thin stream of light breaking through the darkness, then vanishing almost as quickly as Junsu closes the door behind him. The only light is coming in from the city, pale and dim through the curtains, but it's enough that Junsu can see the outline of Yoochun's body.
Yoochun feels the bed dip behind him as Junsu sits on the edge, and he can sense the younger man's gaze on him. After several moments of pointed stillness, Yoochun realizes that Junsu is waiting for him to turn over. He knows that Yoochun isn't sleeping.
“I talked to Jaejoong” Junsu whispers, voice seeming small against the heavy silence.
Yoochun’s stomach immediately drops, and he begins mentally swearing Jaejoong into another dimension. He knows what's about to come, and he doesn't want to have this conversation right now either because yes, goddamnit, he is afraid, and facing his fears was never his forté. He takes a steadying breath and turns to face the younger man.
Junsu isn't surprised, just as Yoochun had expected, but he does look a little hurt, and Yoochun immediately feels a pang of guilt for not waiting up to greet him like usual. He wants to apologize, to explain, to confess, and he's sitting up to do so, but there's so much he wants to say at once that he doesn't know where to begin, and all the words and sentences start running together in his mind, creating a verbal traffic jam that prevents anything but stuttered syllables from escaping.
"Junsu” he stammers, “I'm sorry, I know you're not gay so can we just forget-”
Junsu interrupts by leaning in and pressing his lips to Yoochun's.
It's just a soft brush of lips at first, nothing more than a timid graze, but it's enough to make Yoochun's breath catch, and his whole body tenses in surprise. He feels the need to pinch himself as Junsu places small, soft kisses to the corner of his mouth because surely this couldn't be his Junsu. Shy Junsu. Straight Junsu.
Yoochun can't seem to move or breathe, and although Junsu doesn't move away Yoochun can feel him begin to panic at the lack of response. Yoochun screams at himself, begging his traitorous body to move, to ignore the hundreds of questions racing through his mind, to do something, anything, because if he runs away now he could lose this forever.
Junsu begins to pull away, uncertain and embarrassed, and finally Yoochun's mind releases the restraints against his body. He grabs Junsu's wrist, pulls him back, and their lips meet again. Yoochun reaches up, bringing his hand to the back of Junsu's neck to draw him closer.
Junsu adjusts, twisting to draw up his legs as he allows himself to be pulled down, body pressed flush against Yoochun's. Their lips stay connected and Junsu hooks his leg over Yoochun's thigh, locking their legs together, and he tentatively swipes his tongue along Yoochun's bottom lip.
Yoochun whimpers softly and parts his lips, allowing Junsu to deepen the kiss. He tangles his fingers in Junsu’s hair, shivering as their tongues meet, warm and slick, twining together in a dance of desperation and longing and why the hell did it take this long.
They take their time exploring each other’s mouths, running tongues over teeth and lips, licking, suckling softly, desperately striving for more so that the only thing they can taste and feel is each other. Junsu cradles Yoochun's face with one hand, and this is exactly what Yoochun needs, this wordlessness, this passion, and of course Junsu is the only one who can give it to him.
Yoochun breaks apart, fighting the feeling of “too much” and he turns into the touch, lips ghosting timidly over Junsu's palm. They're both breathing heavily and Yoochun blinks hard against the tears welling in his eyes, heart swelling as Junsu presses his forehead against Yoochun’s temple, hand still cradling his opposite cheek.
A small "Yoochun" escapes Junsu's lips, barely a whisper, and Yoochun still can't bring himself to open his eyes. Junsu softly grips Yoochun's chin between his forefinger and thumb, and he directs Yoochun towards him. "Yoochun" he says again, and this time as Yoochun's breath hitches, he does open his eyes.
Junsu's eyes are shining, and he's biting the inside of his lip against a smile. Yoochun sniffs as he breaks out into a smile too, and he pulls the younger man down to hug him tight.
"I love you, Yoochun" Junsu whispers. He presses another soft kiss to Yoochun's ear and nuzzles his hair. "I love you so much"
Yoochun's heart clenches at the words, and he tightens his embrace, whispering a quiet "I love you too, Su. I've always loved you"
.
Some days Yoochun wakes up and feels like a different person - the features staring back at him are foreign, unfamiliar, and it's as if he's seeing himself for the first time.
Those are the days where he walks around in a trance, body and soul misaligned, almost detached, and it's not until Junsu comes up to hug him from behind, pressing a kiss to his shoulder as they watch themselves in the bathroom mirror that he realizes exactly who he is.