Week 7: Of impending stress
Lesson and out with Huiwen today.
(with just random invasive, pressure-mounting, weird thoughts.)
2 half hour lesson today, and mind was seriously exhausted. Started out with alot of old lian xi qus which I havent pracced for ages, and mind was whirling around trying to gain focus, but losing it at the same time. On to songs, chun dao was worse than on Wednesday, then finally went onto huobajie nian ge, which wasnt touched for ages. I think I probably used 1 hour just re-learning the 4 bars I attempted ages ago, with another 4 new bars. The ornaments are seriously driving me nuts, at this rate I wonder how am I going to face kaoji in december. Laoshi is going away for 1 month during Oct and Nov; he has the confidence that I have enough time, but I dont. Ornaments ornaments, you really cant find them in dazu pieces, and I dont think I have enough experience of solo pieces to tackle them well. I dont even know if I can handle it.
Power of the mind. Just sitting there, imagining, pretending, then letting it out and perfecting it all. Close your eyes, and concentrate; train yourself. I was never mentally strong enough, thats why I could never put my all into the song, and getting it great at one go. Sure maybe plentiful practice would allow that, but a strong mental self would lessen the time and perhaps achieve a greater outcome. Be more confident, be more assured as well, because it shows in your playing. Strengthen the mind, and youre a step closer to that.
Met Huiwen at 4pm at Orchard to study. Usual taka coffeebean, ordered tiramisu cake and ultimate, before proceeding to mug physics. Current electricity, the topic I didnt listen to most in class. Regret, totally. Both of us were just going to tear our hair out cos of physics, and at times I really hope our physics teacher would just walk past to help us haha. I just feel so so so dead for exams all of a sudden argh. The stress is finally starting to kick in, along with those of liuqin lessons and cco songs.
Stress issnt a necessary thing in the first place, but because of this society which has deemed stress as a norm, when its missing, people panic. Those who remain calm are just perceived to be the slackers, who cant be pretty much bothered. But at the end of the day, I really think there is nothing wrong with not feeling that intensity, maybe because you have already adapted and well working your way through things. Just that the society has imposed stress as an essential, such that you feel that something is wrong with you when you dont feel the same way as others do too. Plus its really hard not to welcome that invitation when everyone around you is succumbing to it. Such a monster. (just a dose of my thoughts, dont need to agree to it yeah.)
Dinner at 7.30pm at Pepper lunch.
Tomorrow will be Geog extra lessons, then mugging chem with Huiwen again. Predict another hairtearing out day because physics > chem to me, and today was already boggled.
___________________________
Induce, induce positive thoughts to my head!
Shall attempt to place a negatively charged rod near my head hahaha.
(with just random invasive, pressure-mounting, weird thoughts.)
2 half hour lesson today, and mind was seriously exhausted. Started out with alot of old lian xi qus which I havent pracced for ages, and mind was whirling around trying to gain focus, but losing it at the same time. On to songs, chun dao was worse than on Wednesday, then finally went onto huobajie nian ge, which wasnt touched for ages. I think I probably used 1 hour just re-learning the 4 bars I attempted ages ago, with another 4 new bars. The ornaments are seriously driving me nuts, at this rate I wonder how am I going to face kaoji in december. Laoshi is going away for 1 month during Oct and Nov; he has the confidence that I have enough time, but I dont. Ornaments ornaments, you really cant find them in dazu pieces, and I dont think I have enough experience of solo pieces to tackle them well. I dont even know if I can handle it.
Power of the mind. Just sitting there, imagining, pretending, then letting it out and perfecting it all. Close your eyes, and concentrate; train yourself. I was never mentally strong enough, thats why I could never put my all into the song, and getting it great at one go. Sure maybe plentiful practice would allow that, but a strong mental self would lessen the time and perhaps achieve a greater outcome. Be more confident, be more assured as well, because it shows in your playing. Strengthen the mind, and youre a step closer to that.
Met Huiwen at 4pm at Orchard to study. Usual taka coffeebean, ordered tiramisu cake and ultimate, before proceeding to mug physics. Current electricity, the topic I didnt listen to most in class. Regret, totally. Both of us were just going to tear our hair out cos of physics, and at times I really hope our physics teacher would just walk past to help us haha. I just feel so so so dead for exams all of a sudden argh. The stress is finally starting to kick in, along with those of liuqin lessons and cco songs.
Stress issnt a necessary thing in the first place, but because of this society which has deemed stress as a norm, when its missing, people panic. Those who remain calm are just perceived to be the slackers, who cant be pretty much bothered. But at the end of the day, I really think there is nothing wrong with not feeling that intensity, maybe because you have already adapted and well working your way through things. Just that the society has imposed stress as an essential, such that you feel that something is wrong with you when you dont feel the same way as others do too. Plus its really hard not to welcome that invitation when everyone around you is succumbing to it. Such a monster. (just a dose of my thoughts, dont need to agree to it yeah.)
Dinner at 7.30pm at Pepper lunch.
Tomorrow will be Geog extra lessons, then mugging chem with Huiwen again. Predict another hairtearing out day because physics > chem to me, and today was already boggled.
___________________________
Induce, induce positive thoughts to my head!
Shall attempt to place a negatively charged rod near my head hahaha.