addiction downfall
Pairing: Suga/Jimin (BTS)
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,269
Warning: Language, drug use, violence, character death and hinted suicide
Summary: Drug abuse causes more than pain for Jimin and Yoongi (AU!)
A/N: The end didn't turn out as great as I wanted but I'm somewhat happy with the finished product
“Why are you still doing that crap?”
The room was covered thick with smoke and the slight scent of alcohol lingered in the air. Jimin was lying across his tattered black couch in his sweatpants taking another drag of his joint. He looked like absolute shit. Yoongi wasn’t usually one to worry about Jimin and his drug habits. He had other things to worry about than if Jimin was going to get high on whatever drug came in the guy’s way, but he was his friend and he couldn’t just sit around and see his friend waste his life away like this.
“It soothes the nerves and body. It gets the creative juices running and shit.” Jimin laughed as he took another drag from his joint. The air around him was much thicker than the rest of the room and he loved it that way. Jimin never admitted that he had an addiction problem, but he did admit that doing drugs in the first place was the best thing that happened to him.
“What do you mean by ‘it gets the creative juices running’? I see nothing but blank pieces of paper scattered in a worthless man’s apartment block.” Rummaging through the wasted papers, he picked one up holding it in front of Jimin.
“Oh look, this one has a penis on it, how creative!” Yoongi couldn’t help but roll his eyes as Jimin let out a small chuckle. Jimin took a puff of his joint before offering it to Yoongi.
“I don’t do that shit anymore.” Throwing the joint on the ground and squishing it into the floor leaving a permanent burn mark. Yoongi’s drug taking days were over and he didn’t want to go down that road again, especially with Jimin.
“What the fuck happened to you? We used to be tight in high school then after you graduated you turned into some real fuckwit. You were cool. We were cool.” Jimin started rolling another joint only to be stopped by Yoongi who grabbed the younger one’s wrists and gripped them tightly.
“I grew up, that’s what I did! Something you haven’t done ever since you graduated. All this you have here is what I left behind and all for good reason. I didn’t want to turn into a miserable dickhead who had given up on life because he didn’t want to try and achieve something in life. I didn’t want to turn into a guy like you! ” Yoongi threw the latter’s wrist to the side only to be welcomed to Jimin’s fist clashing into his right cheek. The punch sent Yoongi straight to the ground. Blood trickled down his nose as he saw Jimin lift his foot off the ground.
“Fuck you! If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be like this. It’s your fault I do this shit! It’s your fault I’ve turned into the guy you didn’t want to be! ” Yoongi found himself in a foetal position trying to defend himself as Jimin repeatedly kicked him. Yoongi could feel the pain coarse through his body with every blow. Bruises were forming and he could do nothing about it. Jimin was furious and Yoongi knew there was no stopping him.
“I was an A+ student before you came along and introduced me to this shit! I wasn’t the best behaved guy in school but I did well for myself. I got myself into fights, I got fuckfaced and fucked anything that had a pulse. I was no angel, but there was a time when I could live without depending on weed, ice and shit like that to get me through the night! My life was fine the way it was before I met you!” He grabbed Yoongi from the ground and forced him on to the icy cold wall of his apartment causing a picture of Jimin and Yoongi to smash on the ground. Jimin yanked Yoongi’s collar so that his face wasn’t more than 2 inches away from him.
“I wanted to achieve something in my life!” He punched Yoongi in face causing the older one to wheeze in pain. I need to stop! “I had dreams!” Another punch was thrown. Yoongi was falling in and out of consciousness but Jimin kept going. I’m going to kill him! “And you took that away from me!” He threw a final punch causing Yoongi to collapse to the ground. Breathing heavily, Yoongi was about to get up before he found himself pinned down by Jimin. He threw punch after punch till his knuckles were bruised. He wanted to kill Yoongi. He wanted him to rot in hell for what he’s done. He wanted him to feel the pain that he felt every day. He wanted to hate him for all of it but he couldn’t bring himself to do any. The only one he could hate was himself. He had a chance to get off the drugs like Yoongi but he decided to keep with it. He had his chance and he blew it, like he blew his friend over by pummelling him to the ground.
Hopping off Yoongi, he looked at the state his friend was in. He looked awful. Blood was everywhere, his face was unrecognisable and there were bruises all over him. What did I do? I wasn’t thinking straight. It wasn’t my fault, it was the drugs. It’s always the drugs. It’s never my fault.
Jimin tried to help the poor guy but it was too late. Yoongi’s body lied on the ground in complete stillness.
“Fuck me! He’s alive. He’s not dead.” Jimin grabbed Yoongi and put him on the couch. He was still alive. He had to be. Pushing on his chest, Jimin started giving him CPR or something that looked like it. He wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing but he knew what he wanted to happen from it. He wanted his friend to wake up or at least open his eyes for a brief second. Anything that would show that he was still with him, like he always is. He pushed on his chest to be welcome with a bucket load of blood spurting out of the mouth. Yoongi’s body turned pale with his lips gradually turning blue.
“Fuck! What the fuck have I done? What the fuck is wrong with me?” There was no saving him. He was gone and Jimin was to blame. He killed the only person who cared for him. He killed the only person he cared for.
Grabbing the body, he placed his head on Yoongi’s chest hoping a heartbeat could be heard. There was none. He held the cold and lifeless body against his own. He had no words for what he had done. There were no words to describe what he had done. Grabbing the emergency gun hidden under his couch, he placed it in his lap. He never used the gun before but it was an emergency gun and he had an emergency.
“Yoongi, you were right. I didn’t grow up. I’m still that immature brat that you met in the school bathrooms who beat helpless guys for being nerds. I was insecure about myself and you were there for me every day. You were always there for me. I don't know what I'd do without you by my side.” A tear ran down Jimin’s cheek. "You turned out to be the helpless guy I beat on today but really I was the helpless guy in the end." He pulled the gun towards his head and took a deep breath.
And for that I’m deeply sorry.
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,269
Warning: Language, drug use, violence, character death and hinted suicide
Summary: Drug abuse causes more than pain for Jimin and Yoongi (AU!)
A/N: The end didn't turn out as great as I wanted but I'm somewhat happy with the finished product
“Why are you still doing that crap?”
The room was covered thick with smoke and the slight scent of alcohol lingered in the air. Jimin was lying across his tattered black couch in his sweatpants taking another drag of his joint. He looked like absolute shit. Yoongi wasn’t usually one to worry about Jimin and his drug habits. He had other things to worry about than if Jimin was going to get high on whatever drug came in the guy’s way, but he was his friend and he couldn’t just sit around and see his friend waste his life away like this.
“It soothes the nerves and body. It gets the creative juices running and shit.” Jimin laughed as he took another drag from his joint. The air around him was much thicker than the rest of the room and he loved it that way. Jimin never admitted that he had an addiction problem, but he did admit that doing drugs in the first place was the best thing that happened to him.
“What do you mean by ‘it gets the creative juices running’? I see nothing but blank pieces of paper scattered in a worthless man’s apartment block.” Rummaging through the wasted papers, he picked one up holding it in front of Jimin.
“Oh look, this one has a penis on it, how creative!” Yoongi couldn’t help but roll his eyes as Jimin let out a small chuckle. Jimin took a puff of his joint before offering it to Yoongi.
“I don’t do that shit anymore.” Throwing the joint on the ground and squishing it into the floor leaving a permanent burn mark. Yoongi’s drug taking days were over and he didn’t want to go down that road again, especially with Jimin.
“What the fuck happened to you? We used to be tight in high school then after you graduated you turned into some real fuckwit. You were cool. We were cool.” Jimin started rolling another joint only to be stopped by Yoongi who grabbed the younger one’s wrists and gripped them tightly.
“I grew up, that’s what I did! Something you haven’t done ever since you graduated. All this you have here is what I left behind and all for good reason. I didn’t want to turn into a miserable dickhead who had given up on life because he didn’t want to try and achieve something in life. I didn’t want to turn into a guy like you! ” Yoongi threw the latter’s wrist to the side only to be welcomed to Jimin’s fist clashing into his right cheek. The punch sent Yoongi straight to the ground. Blood trickled down his nose as he saw Jimin lift his foot off the ground.
“Fuck you! If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be like this. It’s your fault I do this shit! It’s your fault I’ve turned into the guy you didn’t want to be! ” Yoongi found himself in a foetal position trying to defend himself as Jimin repeatedly kicked him. Yoongi could feel the pain coarse through his body with every blow. Bruises were forming and he could do nothing about it. Jimin was furious and Yoongi knew there was no stopping him.
“I was an A+ student before you came along and introduced me to this shit! I wasn’t the best behaved guy in school but I did well for myself. I got myself into fights, I got fuckfaced and fucked anything that had a pulse. I was no angel, but there was a time when I could live without depending on weed, ice and shit like that to get me through the night! My life was fine the way it was before I met you!” He grabbed Yoongi from the ground and forced him on to the icy cold wall of his apartment causing a picture of Jimin and Yoongi to smash on the ground. Jimin yanked Yoongi’s collar so that his face wasn’t more than 2 inches away from him.
“I wanted to achieve something in my life!” He punched Yoongi in face causing the older one to wheeze in pain. I need to stop! “I had dreams!” Another punch was thrown. Yoongi was falling in and out of consciousness but Jimin kept going. I’m going to kill him! “And you took that away from me!” He threw a final punch causing Yoongi to collapse to the ground. Breathing heavily, Yoongi was about to get up before he found himself pinned down by Jimin. He threw punch after punch till his knuckles were bruised. He wanted to kill Yoongi. He wanted him to rot in hell for what he’s done. He wanted him to feel the pain that he felt every day. He wanted to hate him for all of it but he couldn’t bring himself to do any. The only one he could hate was himself. He had a chance to get off the drugs like Yoongi but he decided to keep with it. He had his chance and he blew it, like he blew his friend over by pummelling him to the ground.
Hopping off Yoongi, he looked at the state his friend was in. He looked awful. Blood was everywhere, his face was unrecognisable and there were bruises all over him. What did I do? I wasn’t thinking straight. It wasn’t my fault, it was the drugs. It’s always the drugs. It’s never my fault.
Jimin tried to help the poor guy but it was too late. Yoongi’s body lied on the ground in complete stillness.
“Fuck me! He’s alive. He’s not dead.” Jimin grabbed Yoongi and put him on the couch. He was still alive. He had to be. Pushing on his chest, Jimin started giving him CPR or something that looked like it. He wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing but he knew what he wanted to happen from it. He wanted his friend to wake up or at least open his eyes for a brief second. Anything that would show that he was still with him, like he always is. He pushed on his chest to be welcome with a bucket load of blood spurting out of the mouth. Yoongi’s body turned pale with his lips gradually turning blue.
“Fuck! What the fuck have I done? What the fuck is wrong with me?” There was no saving him. He was gone and Jimin was to blame. He killed the only person who cared for him. He killed the only person he cared for.
Grabbing the body, he placed his head on Yoongi’s chest hoping a heartbeat could be heard. There was none. He held the cold and lifeless body against his own. He had no words for what he had done. There were no words to describe what he had done. Grabbing the emergency gun hidden under his couch, he placed it in his lap. He never used the gun before but it was an emergency gun and he had an emergency.
“Yoongi, you were right. I didn’t grow up. I’m still that immature brat that you met in the school bathrooms who beat helpless guys for being nerds. I was insecure about myself and you were there for me every day. You were always there for me. I don't know what I'd do without you by my side.” A tear ran down Jimin’s cheek. "You turned out to be the helpless guy I beat on today but really I was the helpless guy in the end." He pulled the gun towards his head and took a deep breath.
And for that I’m deeply sorry.