just drive
when i was younger sometimes i would get in my car and just drive. and when i was younger than that sometimes i could get on my bike and just ride. but right now i fight the urge to even go outside. sometimes. and other times i'm out there but i'm so inside my mind that time gets lost.
i look at most people and i see popcorn. i wonder what people see when they see me. i've uttered too many apologies. i know that much is true. people come and go and live and grow, and sometimes they grow apart. and what the fuck. i'm still so angry about shit that is so far behind me it's sickening. there are eyes i want to look into while cussing. goodbyes i want to rework. reconfigure. and i'm all befuddled. i want to take off running down the street in sneakers and blue jeans. and not worry about the mud. and just scream at the top of my little girl lungs, "fuck you all. you're all just popcorn. and i'm gonna be alright!" everyone i care about it dying. in a year or seventy or six. it's hard to say. and i'm dying, too. fuck. that's the truth.
i look at most people and i see popcorn. i wonder what people see when they see me. i've uttered too many apologies. i know that much is true. people come and go and live and grow, and sometimes they grow apart. and what the fuck. i'm still so angry about shit that is so far behind me it's sickening. there are eyes i want to look into while cussing. goodbyes i want to rework. reconfigure. and i'm all befuddled. i want to take off running down the street in sneakers and blue jeans. and not worry about the mud. and just scream at the top of my little girl lungs, "fuck you all. you're all just popcorn. and i'm gonna be alright!" everyone i care about it dying. in a year or seventy or six. it's hard to say. and i'm dying, too. fuck. that's the truth.