Tales Of A Time Agency - 2/?
Title: Tales of A Time Agency - 2/?
Rating: 15 to NC-17 to be safe.
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Toshiko, Owen, Gwen, Martha, The Doctor
Pairings: Predominantly Jack/Ianto (eventually), but it’s the Time Agency so expect Jack/John, Tosh/Owen, John/the consenting population of the universe……
Chapter: Chapter Number Two.
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at. Could also include a dash of Doctor Who too.
Summary: Ianto Jones is thrown into the world of excess of the Time Agency Academy, but will he sink or swim? Especially when the enigmatic Jack Harkness starts looking his way….
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though.
Author’s Notes: Right chapter two, completed as quickly as I could. I got some lovely *grin* comments for the first chapter, so thank you so much to everyone who read it. I hope that this chapter doesn’t disappoint you! Huge thanks have to go to the ever wonderful 2nd_toshiko for being the wonderful beta and woman that she knows she is, and as ever, you’re comments really are adored and hugged to death! :D
Dedicated to the ever fabulous 2nd_toshiko , naddypants , skullgirl013 and morgia . You support me so much and you all know how much it means to me! Thanks as ever!
Chapter Number One
There were a million and one reasons why he shouldn’t do it.
It was his first night. He should be preparing for his first session of training. They were complete strangers. He couldn’t trust them…….. He could barely understand his own thoughts, never mind those of anyone else.
But there was one very good reason why Ianto Jones wanted to do it.
Senior cadet Jack Harkness. There was something about him, something in that smile that made Ianto want to follow him to the ends of the earth if he had to. A chemistry sparking a fire in his body, raging in his mind, the smoke blocking his senses. In his belly was the feeling of regret, something that was his faithful companion, except this time it was different. Mingled in amongst the regret was another feeling, a close tie between apprehension and delight. Indescribable. He’d seen the same delight burning in Jack’s eyes too; it had been unmistakeable to him, despite how much he chose to ignore it. Those eyes, beautiful eyes with all the colour of sapphires. They were as good a reason as any to do something totally irrational.
Ianto shook his head, standing up from his bed to look around the now pristine blank room that surrounded him. Two hours and exactly half an hour it had taken him to unpack all of his things, arrange them in a way that felt that little more familiar. That felt that little more like him. He sighed, realising how contradictory his own feelings were. One minute he was trying to forget home, the next he was trying to bring it back to life around him. Cracking his features into a smile, he walked over to where a window stretched out along one of the walls, the glass curving with the smooth edges of the building. It stood out, strong lines accentuated by the sheer white of the walls that almost moulded gently into the glass. The first thing he’d noticed upon arriving, so strong and impressive. Just like Jack. Ianto shook his head, shaking the cadet from his thoughts. Why was he even still thinking about him? Why couldn’t he just forget him? Careful not to smear its unblemished surface, Ianto gently rested against it, eyes meandering across the view as the city of Salvana opened out in front of him. He felt himself smile helplessly again. He would never get tired of waking up to those vanilla skies.....
What was it about this strange new world that was so terrifying, yet so intoxicating at the same time? Was it curiosity of the unknown, the opportunity to stare at a new sky and look upon a fresh sun? Or was it that sweet relief of finally being free? No longer restrained by the ties of his past life, Ianto was free. Free to be who ever he wanted to be, free to be the person that he had had to hold back for so long. He had always found himself tainted by the image of his home in some way or another, judged like any criminal that had once inhabited Salax 9. He’d grown up not only trapped by his home world, but by his very life. Caged by memories, haunted by dreams of things long lost. He tried to pretend that those same memories and thoughts were no longer with him, but his heart knew this was a feeble lie. No matter how hard he tried, Ianto was aware that he hadn’t simply come to TARA for his escape. There was something else, ghosts that needed to be put to rest.
Turning his back on the city, Ianto collapsed back down onto his steel bunk, the foam like mattress succumbing under the weight of his body. He laid back, hands reaching underneath his bed to pull out a small, tattered book. It was old, a memory in itself, the brown cover worn into small patches of sandy grey, edges fraying against time, yet somehow remaining constant. Reliable. Taking the pen from inside, Ianto found a clean page, slowly lowering his hand, loving the feeling as the ink began to caress the paper beneath his fingertips. Words flowed from his mind as relished the simplicity of being able to write for himself; not dictating to droids or typing at a computer station. He had always loved the feeling of being independent, of being self sufficient. The Ianto Jones he knew didn’t need anyone after all, and at that moment, he could never even imagine how wrong he was....
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There were only so many times that you could look at your reflection.
Jack Harkness was convinced that he was nearing his limit.
Rough hands skimmed down his torso as Jack eyed his mirror image, pulling gently at the collar of his shirt. The black, satin like material was soft and textile against his skin, shimmering in the orange light of a setting sun that radiated into his room. He smiled at the image reflected back towards him, hands reaching up to run gently through his hair, spiking the tips of it up gently. He looked good, he knew that. But somehow, Jack wanted to make sure he looked better than that tonight.
He was vain; at least he was mature enough to admit that. But if you had something, why shouldn’t you use it to your advantage? He’d always prided himself in his looks; after all they were what got him what he wanted most of the time. The arrogance of youth was something that lived happily within him, harboured inside his consciousness. It was all he needed to get by, and once mixed with a little charm; he would very rarely need anything more.
Although something was different tonight. Jack no longer felt as cocky or as sure of himself as usual. Could he call it nervous? Not to anyone else of course, but could he at least admit it to himself? Raising an eyebrow at his reflection, Jack turned to his side, smoothing down the fabric across his hips, face contemplative. The object of his desires had already made his feelings quite clear, and even though Jack could tell that he wanted him just as much, he knew that Ianto Jones would be no simple lay. There was more to him than that, an initial layer to break through unlike most. And the mere thought of it already had Jack straining. He wasn’t opposed to hard work for something so worthwhile. After all, he’d always enjoyed a challenge.....
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Fresh air wasn’t making anything any easier.
He felt sick. This could only ever be a mistake.
Ianto was beginning to think that feeling nervous would be a regular occurrence at TARA. He had never felt so out of depth as he did then, clothes feeling tight and overbearing around him as he walked through the cool night air. The city’s pulse drummed around him, its inhabitants flowing into the clubs and bars like life blood. It was living and proud around him, as if showing him how to live, mocking him for being so overly cautious with his life, showing him how lavish it could be in this brave new world. Even the street lamps seemed to push him onwards, throwing gold light out onto the white stone pathways to ease him along, as twin moons shone high above him in amaranthine skies.
There was no turning back though now, he realised that as soon as he’d seen the only familiar face he could bear to see approach him outside the club. Toshiko. He hadn’t wanted to go into Poseidon alone, so he’d called her on the frequency she gave him, and hours later, there she was. His life line. He had barely recognised her features amongst the crowd, and even as she teetered towards him in her heels had he had doubts about who she was. Her yellow uniform long gone, a silver dress hugged her body, not too tightly, but just enough to show the ebb and flow of its curves. Hair flowing just above her shoulders, she greeted him with a warm smile.
“You look amazing.” She grinned, eyeing his red shirt eagerly.
“So do you.”
“It’s not fair.” Tosh laughed, punching his arm gently. “Why did you have to be meeting someone else tonight?”
“You don’t mean that.” Ianto could feel his cheeks flow crimson.
“I do! I’m jealous.”
“I don’t know why.”
“You’re totally oblivious aren’t you?”
“To what?”
“Everything!” Looping her arm through his, Toshiko pulled him gently after her, joining the steady stream of people waiting to pile into Poseidon, blue neon lights illuminating the plain white stone of the spherical building, the hum of music ever present in the air around them. “Anyway, you never told me who you were actually meeting tonight.”
“Just a guy.”
“Just?” She raised a quizzical eyebrow. “C’mon man, I want details! What’s his name? Do I know him?”
“You might do…..I dunno.” Ianto said quickly, running a nervous hand through his hair. “Jack. His name’s Jack Harkness.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“What? No…-”
“Jack Harkness?” She shook her head, all the good humour in her face lost. “This is a bad idea Ianto.”
“Why is it?” His heart jumped at the mere confirmation of his suspicions.
“He’s renowned at the Academy. He’ll sleep with anyone who’s gorgeous enough.” She paused, sweeping her hair out from in front of her eyes. “Really Ianto, he’s beautiful to look at, but he’s only after one thing.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh but I do. He constantly bed hops, never stays the same person for long. Except John Hart, they are best friends, in more ways than one.”
“J….John?” Ianto’s voice was shaking now as the queue became shorter in front of them, bringing him closer to the entrance. “And are they……you know…..together?”
“I doubt that, and if they are, it must be pretty open.” She sighed, looking him in the eye softly. “Trust me Ianto, if you want anything more, Jack is a non starter.”
“Can’t I just give him a chance?”
“You can. But just don’t expect too much from him ok? He’s a charmer alright, but that’s all.”
Toshiko’s arm still looped through his, Ianto was stepping inside the club, music enveloping his senses like water, heat from the packed room thickening the air around his face as the bright lights danced and flickered in a symphony of colour before his eyes. The bass of the music was reverberating through every fibre of his body, drumming against his wrists as he leant back against their crowded space by the bar. He’d never experienced anything like it, never seen so many people, so much music, so much attention all focused and piled into the same room. All around him their were bodies, all flowing, writhing and meshing in time to the music, pheromones so ripe in the air that the very atmosphere was almost too intoxicating to breathe. Ianto tried to ignore the heavy scent as it rose up through his nose and up into his head, scanning as many faces as he could for any that might belong to Jack.
“Any sign of him?” Toshiko managed to yell into his ear, reaching up onto her tiptoes so that he could hear her clearer.
“Not yet.”
“If he doesn’t show Ianto……..”
Ianto opened his mouth to reply, but he never had the chance. Dead ahead of him, seemingly appearing from nowhere through the throng of people, Jack Harkness had become visible, his face a soft smile as he approached him. His body swayed gently beneath the black of his clothes, like a mesmerising pendulum, taunting him with every movement. He was alone too, no sign of any of his friends, no sign even of anyone that could be John Hart either. Maybe Toshiko was wrong…… Ianto felt himself gulp hard, trying to shake his eyes from the man’s form and yet still managing to fail miserably. No matter how hard he tried, he knew how much he wanted that eye contact with the other man.
“You came.” Jack grinned once he was close enough, leaning forward so that his neck was only inches from Ianto’s face, the soft scent of his pheromones tantalisingly fleeting against his nostrils. “I was beginning to wonder.”
“It would be wrong to stand you up.” Ianto found himself replying, before inwardly cursing himself for sounding so formal with such an obviously informal man.
“I’m glad you did.” Another dazzling smile greeted him. “You won’t regret it.”
“Are you sure?” Toshiko spoke up of the noise around them, her eyes unmercifully scrutinising.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise Jones had brought a chaperone out with him tonight.” The older man cocked an arrogant eyebrow. “Captain Jack Harkness m’am.”
“Toshiko Sato. And I’m not his chaperone.”
“If you say so.” Jack rolled his eyes.
“What was that supposed to mean?”
“Drink?”
“What?”
“A drink!” Jack laughed, shoving them both aside gently so that he could reach the bar. “He nodded gently, before giving them an expectant look. “Hyper vodka?”
The clear liquid was sweeter than he expected, and Ianto found himself knocking back glass after glass at the bar, his thoughts quickly dulled as the alcohol diffused into his brain. Toshiko had stayed by him at first, exhibiting her obvious distaste for Jack as she sipped at her own drink. In any other circumstances Ianto would have wanted her to stay, to keep him company and protect him from such an uncertain face. But then, amongst the unique atmosphere of the club, he had lost all care about himself, and he just wanted to be. To be with Jack. She was wrong about him, she had to be, especially since the older cadet was being so attentive, striking up whatever conversation he could in such a loud and confined space. He didn’t know when Tosh had lost interest and wandered off or how many drinks he had consumed before he felt a possessive hand press gently against the small of his back, but by that time he realised that he didn’t care. He wanted to keep the warmth radiating through his body alive, wanted to keep the contact with Jack for as long as he could.
A strong grip around his right wrist pulled Ianto into the crowd of dancers before he could argue, the heat of the dance floor enveloping him in seconds. Dragged to a space within the throng, he felt the same arm curl around his waist, pushing him backwards into Jack’s body, just close enough so that with every movement in time to the rhythm he could feel his hips brush against him. Dazzling gemstone glimmers of light flashed across his vision, hypnotising, lulling him further and further into a complying state. Ianto could barely even form coherent thoughts in his mind, senses dulled by an assault of music, alcohol and body contact on his system. He closed his eyes, letting the heavy bass of the music drum through him, through them both as they continued to move in synchronicity, the arm around his waist steadying his already buckling knees.
A chin rested against his shoulder as the body pressed closer into his, the contact between them hardly even breaking now. He could feel the hot tickle of Jack’s breath against his ear; feel his grip tighten slightly against his own body. The feeling was intoxicating, over bearing his nervous system in some kind of trance like bliss. Ianto was lost, feeling as if he would barely ever be able to function properly again.
“Do you want some air?” The voice was there, steady and constant against the erratic tempo of the music beating through his eardrums. Ianto felt himself nod gently in compliance, before groaning slightly at the loss of contact when Jack moved away, heading off back into the crowd, almost beckoning Ianto to follow him. The young cadet shook his head, desperately trying to regain some control, yet still unable to stop himself following Jack.
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Ice cold air hit the inferno of his skin as Ianto stepped outside, feeling the frozen air wash over his body, instantly returning part of the sense that he had lost somewhere within the close atmosphere of the club. He looked around, suddenly aware of how much time had passed whilst he had been inside, the earlier teeming streets now empty of most people, sky a deep navy above him. He shivered, a chilling wave running down his back as control continued to flood his body, returning to him the power of both thought and speech in equal measure.
“Are you cold?” Jack asked quickly, leaning so that his back rested against the wall, eyes looking Ianto up and down softly.
“No.”
“You look it.” The other man gave him a casual wink, reaching into the pocket of his trousers to pull out a thin, cigar shaped tube. “Do you……?”
“No.” Ianto’s tone was blunt, yet it didn’t seem to bother the other cadet as he smiled, lighting the cigarette in a flash before sucking in a deep drag of smoke. He looked up, eyes meeting with Ianto’s again as he breathed it out softly.
“You’re a better dancer than you look.”
“I wouldn’t call what we’ve just done dancing.”
“Then what would you call it?” Jack raised an eyebrow, laughing before Ianto could answer. “It’s what considered dancing around here anyway.”
“Everything’s so different.” Ianto sighed, looking all around him, anywhere but at Jack.
“It’s not. You get used to it in the end.”
“I hope so.”
“You miss it?”
“What?”
“Home?” Jack smiled, breathing out another, smaller ring of smoke, watching it drift through the iced air before carrying on. “Do you miss it?”
“I……” Ianto wasn’t sure how to answer, caught off guard by the question. Never had he thought that Jack would genuinely ask something about his life, not like this anyway. He shuffled on the spot, eyes watching his shoes intently as he felt the question penetrate the emotional barrier he’d built up around himself. “I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?”
“Things weren’t simple at home…. It never really felt like a place where I belonged.” The younger man paused, shutting of anymore thoughts of his past life. “I just miss everything being familiar, known.”
“That’s normal. TARA is a real culture shock for the first few weeks.” The other cadet’s understanding struck a chord somewhere deep in Ianto’s mind, softening his attitude towards him further. “Like I told you, it gets easier.”
“What about you?” Courage swept through him, as Ianto was finally able to meet Jack’s gaze with confidence.
“What about me?”
“Do you……….you know, miss home?”
“Like a hole in the head.” Jack laughed, stopping when he saw the serious look in Ianto’s eyes. He paused, sucking in another deep lungful of smoke before continuing. “There’s nothing there for me anymore. There hasn’t been for a long time. Besides, TARA has everything I need.”
“Sex and alcohol?” Ianto’s mouth quipped before his brain could stop it.
“And the violence.” Jack teased. “Can’t forget that.”
“Violence?”
“You obviously haven’t started combat training yet.”
“I haven’t started anything. It’s my first night here.”
“Ah…….” Jack grinned, throwing him a casual wink. “That explains it then.”
“Explains what?”
“Why you were hanging around with that techie.”
“Toshiko?”
“Is that her name?” Jack paused, running a hand idly through his hair. “Then again, I don’t blame you, not if that dress was anything to go by…….”
“She’s not just a techie.” Ianto snapped, surprising himself as well as Jack.
“Hey, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Jones.”
“It sounded like it.”
“Oh.” Jack almost moaned, fixing his gaze to Ianto’s in a simple movement.
“What?”
“Come here.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” Something about Jack’s voice was undisputable, and Ianto found his body obeying, stepping forward so that he was stood directly in front of the older man. Seemingly satisfied, Jack took another short puff of his cigarette, before reaching out and pulling Ianto into him for a kiss. Their lips met heavily, mouths open as the arm around Ianto’s body grew tighter, pressing him flush against Jack’s body. The kiss deepened further the cigarette dropping clumsily to the floor as, Jack’s tongue darted out to lick a soft trail across the younger man’s bottom lip. Ianto sucked onto it greedily, waves of feelings that he had long forgotten chasing through his head in a hurried blur. He could feel the soft remainder of Jack’s cigarette smoke tingle in his mouth, the bitter taste brushing against the back of his throat. The sensation drove him wild, causing him to push more hungrily into the kiss, hands grasping as the fabric that covered Jack’s shoulders. Jack returned the action, arms tight around Ianto’s back as he too let himself be carried away by the moment. He was stronger than the younger man, and Ianto felt his body be spun round so that his back was pressed to the wall, one strong hand holding his own arms up above his head. His senses beyond all reason, Jack seemed to be everywhere, his free hand sliding across the fabric of Ianto’s shirt before moving down to circle the shape of his belt across his hips. Jack was hard against him, lost in the sensations taking over his body as the kiss continued, sending his thoughts spiralling further and further out of control. He was groaning gutturally into his mouth, the steady hand sliding down past the other man’s belt and cupping his erection in a swift simple movement. Ianto gasped, eyes snapping over as he realised what was happening.
“No…...” What was he doing? Pulling himself breathlessly from Jack’s lips, Ianto tried to back away, his body still pressed against the wall behind him as he realised just how tightly Jack had him pinned against it. “This isn’t right.”
“What?” Jack smiled, hands free from his body as continued to press his body into the younger man’s. “I know you were enjoying it……” He raised an eyebrow, glancing down to Ianto’s groin. “Don’t be shy, Jones.” He leant in for another kiss, gentler this time, testing.
“That’s not the point.”
“Isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t mean anything to you, does it?” His voice was blunt yet tired as Ianto desperately tried to wriggle from the older man’s grasp. He’d been so stupid, Toshiko had been right after all. “It’s not that simple for me.”
“It’s just sex, Jones.”
“Then go get it from someone else.” He never meant to sound so bitter, but Ianto was too close to the fire that was Jack Harkness that he couldn’t afford to get burned. He’d felt that passion as they’d kissed, even felt the chemistry in the club, and even worse he’d see what it had done to him. He’d forgotten everything, lost every piece of logic, every last piece of control. And the idea terrified him. Being out of control terrified him. He was by no means a virgin, but never had he felt anything as strong as his connection with Jack…..
So he ran. He didn’t wait to hear Jack’s reply, didn’t say anything else, he just let his legs do the one thing that was on his mind. He wanted to get away, to blank the evening from his memory, to blame it on a lack of self esteem and alcohol. He wanted to pretend. Pretend that he didn’t want Jack in the same way as he wanted him. Pretend that as he ran a part of him was begging to stay….. He blinked hard as he continued to run, sensing just how fucked up everything was. He was always running from something. It was all too normal now, like it was his second nature. Ianto Jones was always hiding himself, somehow……..
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He didn’t know what to feel. As Jack Harkness watched the freshie run away from him, he couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong. He’d played by the rules; he hadn’t been too overbearing too soon, hell, Jones had seemed to be enjoying the night just as much as he had. And when he’d seen him stand up for that techie Toshiko, when he’d seen the rare burst of harsh emotion in the younger man’s eyes, it had been enough to undo him. He had had to have him, right then, no more playing games. But what had changed? It was obvious that something had, whether he had done something wrong or not, the sudden change in mood undisputable.
Jack shook his head, a frustrated knot twisting in his stomach. He wasn’t used to failing, not at anything. He’d set his mind to something, and he would be damned if he would fail at it. Except tonight he had. Ianto Jones had had other ideas, and for once Jack was the one left feeling neglected and alone. But why did it hurt more than just disappointment? Why, even though he had barely talked to the man, did Jack feel like he could run after Ianto, feel that he should take off after him. Why did he care? Why did he want Ianto Jones so fucking much, even now?
Grunting in disgust more at himself rather than at anything else, Jack lifted his arm, typing a frequency code he knew by memory into the wrist strap. He watched as a red light flickered on its screen several times before a small blue hologram image radiated out from the instrument.
“Jack?” The image replied, seemingly lying propped up on a bed, white sheets pulled up to his hips, chest clearly exposed. “I thought you were too busy for me tonight?”
“You?” Jack laughed, already pleased to see that the ever reliable John Hart was still talking to him. “Now how could I ever be sick of you?”
“Oh very smooth. Pretty boy stand you up?”
“No.” Jack shook his head, shaking with it his other thoughts, storing them away for later. “But things didn’t go to plan.”
“Aw, diddums.” The other man laughed loudly. “How the mighty have fallen, eh?”
“Very funny. Are you alone?”
“Er……..” John paused, looking to his right. “For you? I could be.”
“See you in twenty minutes then?”
“Sure.” John smirked, bringing the wrist strap closer to his face so that it was all Jack could see. “Oh, and Jack?”
“What?”
“Don’t forget those 20 credits.”
The image clicked off, leaving the cool air silent around him. Jack felt himself force a smile, at least knowing that was tonight’s emptiness cured at the very least. He set off walking in the opposite direction to Ianto, his footsteps drumming out a slow rhythm against the pavement beneath him. He really wasn’t in the mood for thinking about Jones and his games anymore. At least now he could lose himself in the one thing he enjoyed the most. Letting another sigh escape his lips, Jack risked a quick look upwards to the deep royal blue sky hovering over him. Still, he just couldn’t shake one last thought. How could he have gotten it all so wrong?
And now for the pink writing of doom…..ok maybe not, but it is the inevitable bit of my fic writing where I ask you (very politely of course) for your much valued comments. So what did you think? Have I let you down with this chapter? (Although I really hope I haven’t! :S) Your comments do keep me writing and are the only reward I get for any of this, so if you can, drop me a line! Thanks!
Just Being Me
xxxxxxx
Click here for Chapter Three
Rating: 15 to NC-17 to be safe.
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Toshiko, Owen, Gwen, Martha, The Doctor
Pairings: Predominantly Jack/Ianto (eventually), but it’s the Time Agency so expect Jack/John, Tosh/Owen, John/the consenting population of the universe……
Chapter: Chapter Number Two.
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at. Could also include a dash of Doctor Who too.
Summary: Ianto Jones is thrown into the world of excess of the Time Agency Academy, but will he sink or swim? Especially when the enigmatic Jack Harkness starts looking his way….
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though.
Author’s Notes: Right chapter two, completed as quickly as I could. I got some lovely *grin* comments for the first chapter, so thank you so much to everyone who read it. I hope that this chapter doesn’t disappoint you! Huge thanks have to go to the ever wonderful 2nd_toshiko for being the wonderful beta and woman that she knows she is, and as ever, you’re comments really are adored and hugged to death! :D
Dedicated to the ever fabulous 2nd_toshiko , naddypants , skullgirl013 and morgia . You support me so much and you all know how much it means to me! Thanks as ever!
Chapter Number One
There were a million and one reasons why he shouldn’t do it.
It was his first night. He should be preparing for his first session of training. They were complete strangers. He couldn’t trust them…….. He could barely understand his own thoughts, never mind those of anyone else.
But there was one very good reason why Ianto Jones wanted to do it.
Senior cadet Jack Harkness. There was something about him, something in that smile that made Ianto want to follow him to the ends of the earth if he had to. A chemistry sparking a fire in his body, raging in his mind, the smoke blocking his senses. In his belly was the feeling of regret, something that was his faithful companion, except this time it was different. Mingled in amongst the regret was another feeling, a close tie between apprehension and delight. Indescribable. He’d seen the same delight burning in Jack’s eyes too; it had been unmistakeable to him, despite how much he chose to ignore it. Those eyes, beautiful eyes with all the colour of sapphires. They were as good a reason as any to do something totally irrational.
Ianto shook his head, standing up from his bed to look around the now pristine blank room that surrounded him. Two hours and exactly half an hour it had taken him to unpack all of his things, arrange them in a way that felt that little more familiar. That felt that little more like him. He sighed, realising how contradictory his own feelings were. One minute he was trying to forget home, the next he was trying to bring it back to life around him. Cracking his features into a smile, he walked over to where a window stretched out along one of the walls, the glass curving with the smooth edges of the building. It stood out, strong lines accentuated by the sheer white of the walls that almost moulded gently into the glass. The first thing he’d noticed upon arriving, so strong and impressive. Just like Jack. Ianto shook his head, shaking the cadet from his thoughts. Why was he even still thinking about him? Why couldn’t he just forget him? Careful not to smear its unblemished surface, Ianto gently rested against it, eyes meandering across the view as the city of Salvana opened out in front of him. He felt himself smile helplessly again. He would never get tired of waking up to those vanilla skies.....
What was it about this strange new world that was so terrifying, yet so intoxicating at the same time? Was it curiosity of the unknown, the opportunity to stare at a new sky and look upon a fresh sun? Or was it that sweet relief of finally being free? No longer restrained by the ties of his past life, Ianto was free. Free to be who ever he wanted to be, free to be the person that he had had to hold back for so long. He had always found himself tainted by the image of his home in some way or another, judged like any criminal that had once inhabited Salax 9. He’d grown up not only trapped by his home world, but by his very life. Caged by memories, haunted by dreams of things long lost. He tried to pretend that those same memories and thoughts were no longer with him, but his heart knew this was a feeble lie. No matter how hard he tried, Ianto was aware that he hadn’t simply come to TARA for his escape. There was something else, ghosts that needed to be put to rest.
Turning his back on the city, Ianto collapsed back down onto his steel bunk, the foam like mattress succumbing under the weight of his body. He laid back, hands reaching underneath his bed to pull out a small, tattered book. It was old, a memory in itself, the brown cover worn into small patches of sandy grey, edges fraying against time, yet somehow remaining constant. Reliable. Taking the pen from inside, Ianto found a clean page, slowly lowering his hand, loving the feeling as the ink began to caress the paper beneath his fingertips. Words flowed from his mind as relished the simplicity of being able to write for himself; not dictating to droids or typing at a computer station. He had always loved the feeling of being independent, of being self sufficient. The Ianto Jones he knew didn’t need anyone after all, and at that moment, he could never even imagine how wrong he was....
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There were only so many times that you could look at your reflection.
Jack Harkness was convinced that he was nearing his limit.
Rough hands skimmed down his torso as Jack eyed his mirror image, pulling gently at the collar of his shirt. The black, satin like material was soft and textile against his skin, shimmering in the orange light of a setting sun that radiated into his room. He smiled at the image reflected back towards him, hands reaching up to run gently through his hair, spiking the tips of it up gently. He looked good, he knew that. But somehow, Jack wanted to make sure he looked better than that tonight.
He was vain; at least he was mature enough to admit that. But if you had something, why shouldn’t you use it to your advantage? He’d always prided himself in his looks; after all they were what got him what he wanted most of the time. The arrogance of youth was something that lived happily within him, harboured inside his consciousness. It was all he needed to get by, and once mixed with a little charm; he would very rarely need anything more.
Although something was different tonight. Jack no longer felt as cocky or as sure of himself as usual. Could he call it nervous? Not to anyone else of course, but could he at least admit it to himself? Raising an eyebrow at his reflection, Jack turned to his side, smoothing down the fabric across his hips, face contemplative. The object of his desires had already made his feelings quite clear, and even though Jack could tell that he wanted him just as much, he knew that Ianto Jones would be no simple lay. There was more to him than that, an initial layer to break through unlike most. And the mere thought of it already had Jack straining. He wasn’t opposed to hard work for something so worthwhile. After all, he’d always enjoyed a challenge.....
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Fresh air wasn’t making anything any easier.
He felt sick. This could only ever be a mistake.
Ianto was beginning to think that feeling nervous would be a regular occurrence at TARA. He had never felt so out of depth as he did then, clothes feeling tight and overbearing around him as he walked through the cool night air. The city’s pulse drummed around him, its inhabitants flowing into the clubs and bars like life blood. It was living and proud around him, as if showing him how to live, mocking him for being so overly cautious with his life, showing him how lavish it could be in this brave new world. Even the street lamps seemed to push him onwards, throwing gold light out onto the white stone pathways to ease him along, as twin moons shone high above him in amaranthine skies.
There was no turning back though now, he realised that as soon as he’d seen the only familiar face he could bear to see approach him outside the club. Toshiko. He hadn’t wanted to go into Poseidon alone, so he’d called her on the frequency she gave him, and hours later, there she was. His life line. He had barely recognised her features amongst the crowd, and even as she teetered towards him in her heels had he had doubts about who she was. Her yellow uniform long gone, a silver dress hugged her body, not too tightly, but just enough to show the ebb and flow of its curves. Hair flowing just above her shoulders, she greeted him with a warm smile.
“You look amazing.” She grinned, eyeing his red shirt eagerly.
“So do you.”
“It’s not fair.” Tosh laughed, punching his arm gently. “Why did you have to be meeting someone else tonight?”
“You don’t mean that.” Ianto could feel his cheeks flow crimson.
“I do! I’m jealous.”
“I don’t know why.”
“You’re totally oblivious aren’t you?”
“To what?”
“Everything!” Looping her arm through his, Toshiko pulled him gently after her, joining the steady stream of people waiting to pile into Poseidon, blue neon lights illuminating the plain white stone of the spherical building, the hum of music ever present in the air around them. “Anyway, you never told me who you were actually meeting tonight.”
“Just a guy.”
“Just?” She raised a quizzical eyebrow. “C’mon man, I want details! What’s his name? Do I know him?”
“You might do…..I dunno.” Ianto said quickly, running a nervous hand through his hair. “Jack. His name’s Jack Harkness.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“What? No…-”
“Jack Harkness?” She shook her head, all the good humour in her face lost. “This is a bad idea Ianto.”
“Why is it?” His heart jumped at the mere confirmation of his suspicions.
“He’s renowned at the Academy. He’ll sleep with anyone who’s gorgeous enough.” She paused, sweeping her hair out from in front of her eyes. “Really Ianto, he’s beautiful to look at, but he’s only after one thing.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh but I do. He constantly bed hops, never stays the same person for long. Except John Hart, they are best friends, in more ways than one.”
“J….John?” Ianto’s voice was shaking now as the queue became shorter in front of them, bringing him closer to the entrance. “And are they……you know…..together?”
“I doubt that, and if they are, it must be pretty open.” She sighed, looking him in the eye softly. “Trust me Ianto, if you want anything more, Jack is a non starter.”
“Can’t I just give him a chance?”
“You can. But just don’t expect too much from him ok? He’s a charmer alright, but that’s all.”
Toshiko’s arm still looped through his, Ianto was stepping inside the club, music enveloping his senses like water, heat from the packed room thickening the air around his face as the bright lights danced and flickered in a symphony of colour before his eyes. The bass of the music was reverberating through every fibre of his body, drumming against his wrists as he leant back against their crowded space by the bar. He’d never experienced anything like it, never seen so many people, so much music, so much attention all focused and piled into the same room. All around him their were bodies, all flowing, writhing and meshing in time to the music, pheromones so ripe in the air that the very atmosphere was almost too intoxicating to breathe. Ianto tried to ignore the heavy scent as it rose up through his nose and up into his head, scanning as many faces as he could for any that might belong to Jack.
“Any sign of him?” Toshiko managed to yell into his ear, reaching up onto her tiptoes so that he could hear her clearer.
“Not yet.”
“If he doesn’t show Ianto……..”
Ianto opened his mouth to reply, but he never had the chance. Dead ahead of him, seemingly appearing from nowhere through the throng of people, Jack Harkness had become visible, his face a soft smile as he approached him. His body swayed gently beneath the black of his clothes, like a mesmerising pendulum, taunting him with every movement. He was alone too, no sign of any of his friends, no sign even of anyone that could be John Hart either. Maybe Toshiko was wrong…… Ianto felt himself gulp hard, trying to shake his eyes from the man’s form and yet still managing to fail miserably. No matter how hard he tried, he knew how much he wanted that eye contact with the other man.
“You came.” Jack grinned once he was close enough, leaning forward so that his neck was only inches from Ianto’s face, the soft scent of his pheromones tantalisingly fleeting against his nostrils. “I was beginning to wonder.”
“It would be wrong to stand you up.” Ianto found himself replying, before inwardly cursing himself for sounding so formal with such an obviously informal man.
“I’m glad you did.” Another dazzling smile greeted him. “You won’t regret it.”
“Are you sure?” Toshiko spoke up of the noise around them, her eyes unmercifully scrutinising.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise Jones had brought a chaperone out with him tonight.” The older man cocked an arrogant eyebrow. “Captain Jack Harkness m’am.”
“Toshiko Sato. And I’m not his chaperone.”
“If you say so.” Jack rolled his eyes.
“What was that supposed to mean?”
“Drink?”
“What?”
“A drink!” Jack laughed, shoving them both aside gently so that he could reach the bar. “He nodded gently, before giving them an expectant look. “Hyper vodka?”
The clear liquid was sweeter than he expected, and Ianto found himself knocking back glass after glass at the bar, his thoughts quickly dulled as the alcohol diffused into his brain. Toshiko had stayed by him at first, exhibiting her obvious distaste for Jack as she sipped at her own drink. In any other circumstances Ianto would have wanted her to stay, to keep him company and protect him from such an uncertain face. But then, amongst the unique atmosphere of the club, he had lost all care about himself, and he just wanted to be. To be with Jack. She was wrong about him, she had to be, especially since the older cadet was being so attentive, striking up whatever conversation he could in such a loud and confined space. He didn’t know when Tosh had lost interest and wandered off or how many drinks he had consumed before he felt a possessive hand press gently against the small of his back, but by that time he realised that he didn’t care. He wanted to keep the warmth radiating through his body alive, wanted to keep the contact with Jack for as long as he could.
A strong grip around his right wrist pulled Ianto into the crowd of dancers before he could argue, the heat of the dance floor enveloping him in seconds. Dragged to a space within the throng, he felt the same arm curl around his waist, pushing him backwards into Jack’s body, just close enough so that with every movement in time to the rhythm he could feel his hips brush against him. Dazzling gemstone glimmers of light flashed across his vision, hypnotising, lulling him further and further into a complying state. Ianto could barely even form coherent thoughts in his mind, senses dulled by an assault of music, alcohol and body contact on his system. He closed his eyes, letting the heavy bass of the music drum through him, through them both as they continued to move in synchronicity, the arm around his waist steadying his already buckling knees.
A chin rested against his shoulder as the body pressed closer into his, the contact between them hardly even breaking now. He could feel the hot tickle of Jack’s breath against his ear; feel his grip tighten slightly against his own body. The feeling was intoxicating, over bearing his nervous system in some kind of trance like bliss. Ianto was lost, feeling as if he would barely ever be able to function properly again.
“Do you want some air?” The voice was there, steady and constant against the erratic tempo of the music beating through his eardrums. Ianto felt himself nod gently in compliance, before groaning slightly at the loss of contact when Jack moved away, heading off back into the crowd, almost beckoning Ianto to follow him. The young cadet shook his head, desperately trying to regain some control, yet still unable to stop himself following Jack.
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Ice cold air hit the inferno of his skin as Ianto stepped outside, feeling the frozen air wash over his body, instantly returning part of the sense that he had lost somewhere within the close atmosphere of the club. He looked around, suddenly aware of how much time had passed whilst he had been inside, the earlier teeming streets now empty of most people, sky a deep navy above him. He shivered, a chilling wave running down his back as control continued to flood his body, returning to him the power of both thought and speech in equal measure.
“Are you cold?” Jack asked quickly, leaning so that his back rested against the wall, eyes looking Ianto up and down softly.
“No.”
“You look it.” The other man gave him a casual wink, reaching into the pocket of his trousers to pull out a thin, cigar shaped tube. “Do you……?”
“No.” Ianto’s tone was blunt, yet it didn’t seem to bother the other cadet as he smiled, lighting the cigarette in a flash before sucking in a deep drag of smoke. He looked up, eyes meeting with Ianto’s again as he breathed it out softly.
“You’re a better dancer than you look.”
“I wouldn’t call what we’ve just done dancing.”
“Then what would you call it?” Jack raised an eyebrow, laughing before Ianto could answer. “It’s what considered dancing around here anyway.”
“Everything’s so different.” Ianto sighed, looking all around him, anywhere but at Jack.
“It’s not. You get used to it in the end.”
“I hope so.”
“You miss it?”
“What?”
“Home?” Jack smiled, breathing out another, smaller ring of smoke, watching it drift through the iced air before carrying on. “Do you miss it?”
“I……” Ianto wasn’t sure how to answer, caught off guard by the question. Never had he thought that Jack would genuinely ask something about his life, not like this anyway. He shuffled on the spot, eyes watching his shoes intently as he felt the question penetrate the emotional barrier he’d built up around himself. “I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?”
“Things weren’t simple at home…. It never really felt like a place where I belonged.” The younger man paused, shutting of anymore thoughts of his past life. “I just miss everything being familiar, known.”
“That’s normal. TARA is a real culture shock for the first few weeks.” The other cadet’s understanding struck a chord somewhere deep in Ianto’s mind, softening his attitude towards him further. “Like I told you, it gets easier.”
“What about you?” Courage swept through him, as Ianto was finally able to meet Jack’s gaze with confidence.
“What about me?”
“Do you……….you know, miss home?”
“Like a hole in the head.” Jack laughed, stopping when he saw the serious look in Ianto’s eyes. He paused, sucking in another deep lungful of smoke before continuing. “There’s nothing there for me anymore. There hasn’t been for a long time. Besides, TARA has everything I need.”
“Sex and alcohol?” Ianto’s mouth quipped before his brain could stop it.
“And the violence.” Jack teased. “Can’t forget that.”
“Violence?”
“You obviously haven’t started combat training yet.”
“I haven’t started anything. It’s my first night here.”
“Ah…….” Jack grinned, throwing him a casual wink. “That explains it then.”
“Explains what?”
“Why you were hanging around with that techie.”
“Toshiko?”
“Is that her name?” Jack paused, running a hand idly through his hair. “Then again, I don’t blame you, not if that dress was anything to go by…….”
“She’s not just a techie.” Ianto snapped, surprising himself as well as Jack.
“Hey, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Jones.”
“It sounded like it.”
“Oh.” Jack almost moaned, fixing his gaze to Ianto’s in a simple movement.
“What?”
“Come here.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” Something about Jack’s voice was undisputable, and Ianto found his body obeying, stepping forward so that he was stood directly in front of the older man. Seemingly satisfied, Jack took another short puff of his cigarette, before reaching out and pulling Ianto into him for a kiss. Their lips met heavily, mouths open as the arm around Ianto’s body grew tighter, pressing him flush against Jack’s body. The kiss deepened further the cigarette dropping clumsily to the floor as, Jack’s tongue darted out to lick a soft trail across the younger man’s bottom lip. Ianto sucked onto it greedily, waves of feelings that he had long forgotten chasing through his head in a hurried blur. He could feel the soft remainder of Jack’s cigarette smoke tingle in his mouth, the bitter taste brushing against the back of his throat. The sensation drove him wild, causing him to push more hungrily into the kiss, hands grasping as the fabric that covered Jack’s shoulders. Jack returned the action, arms tight around Ianto’s back as he too let himself be carried away by the moment. He was stronger than the younger man, and Ianto felt his body be spun round so that his back was pressed to the wall, one strong hand holding his own arms up above his head. His senses beyond all reason, Jack seemed to be everywhere, his free hand sliding across the fabric of Ianto’s shirt before moving down to circle the shape of his belt across his hips. Jack was hard against him, lost in the sensations taking over his body as the kiss continued, sending his thoughts spiralling further and further out of control. He was groaning gutturally into his mouth, the steady hand sliding down past the other man’s belt and cupping his erection in a swift simple movement. Ianto gasped, eyes snapping over as he realised what was happening.
“No…...” What was he doing? Pulling himself breathlessly from Jack’s lips, Ianto tried to back away, his body still pressed against the wall behind him as he realised just how tightly Jack had him pinned against it. “This isn’t right.”
“What?” Jack smiled, hands free from his body as continued to press his body into the younger man’s. “I know you were enjoying it……” He raised an eyebrow, glancing down to Ianto’s groin. “Don’t be shy, Jones.” He leant in for another kiss, gentler this time, testing.
“That’s not the point.”
“Isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t mean anything to you, does it?” His voice was blunt yet tired as Ianto desperately tried to wriggle from the older man’s grasp. He’d been so stupid, Toshiko had been right after all. “It’s not that simple for me.”
“It’s just sex, Jones.”
“Then go get it from someone else.” He never meant to sound so bitter, but Ianto was too close to the fire that was Jack Harkness that he couldn’t afford to get burned. He’d felt that passion as they’d kissed, even felt the chemistry in the club, and even worse he’d see what it had done to him. He’d forgotten everything, lost every piece of logic, every last piece of control. And the idea terrified him. Being out of control terrified him. He was by no means a virgin, but never had he felt anything as strong as his connection with Jack…..
So he ran. He didn’t wait to hear Jack’s reply, didn’t say anything else, he just let his legs do the one thing that was on his mind. He wanted to get away, to blank the evening from his memory, to blame it on a lack of self esteem and alcohol. He wanted to pretend. Pretend that he didn’t want Jack in the same way as he wanted him. Pretend that as he ran a part of him was begging to stay….. He blinked hard as he continued to run, sensing just how fucked up everything was. He was always running from something. It was all too normal now, like it was his second nature. Ianto Jones was always hiding himself, somehow……..
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He didn’t know what to feel. As Jack Harkness watched the freshie run away from him, he couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong. He’d played by the rules; he hadn’t been too overbearing too soon, hell, Jones had seemed to be enjoying the night just as much as he had. And when he’d seen him stand up for that techie Toshiko, when he’d seen the rare burst of harsh emotion in the younger man’s eyes, it had been enough to undo him. He had had to have him, right then, no more playing games. But what had changed? It was obvious that something had, whether he had done something wrong or not, the sudden change in mood undisputable.
Jack shook his head, a frustrated knot twisting in his stomach. He wasn’t used to failing, not at anything. He’d set his mind to something, and he would be damned if he would fail at it. Except tonight he had. Ianto Jones had had other ideas, and for once Jack was the one left feeling neglected and alone. But why did it hurt more than just disappointment? Why, even though he had barely talked to the man, did Jack feel like he could run after Ianto, feel that he should take off after him. Why did he care? Why did he want Ianto Jones so fucking much, even now?
Grunting in disgust more at himself rather than at anything else, Jack lifted his arm, typing a frequency code he knew by memory into the wrist strap. He watched as a red light flickered on its screen several times before a small blue hologram image radiated out from the instrument.
“Jack?” The image replied, seemingly lying propped up on a bed, white sheets pulled up to his hips, chest clearly exposed. “I thought you were too busy for me tonight?”
“You?” Jack laughed, already pleased to see that the ever reliable John Hart was still talking to him. “Now how could I ever be sick of you?”
“Oh very smooth. Pretty boy stand you up?”
“No.” Jack shook his head, shaking with it his other thoughts, storing them away for later. “But things didn’t go to plan.”
“Aw, diddums.” The other man laughed loudly. “How the mighty have fallen, eh?”
“Very funny. Are you alone?”
“Er……..” John paused, looking to his right. “For you? I could be.”
“See you in twenty minutes then?”
“Sure.” John smirked, bringing the wrist strap closer to his face so that it was all Jack could see. “Oh, and Jack?”
“What?”
“Don’t forget those 20 credits.”
The image clicked off, leaving the cool air silent around him. Jack felt himself force a smile, at least knowing that was tonight’s emptiness cured at the very least. He set off walking in the opposite direction to Ianto, his footsteps drumming out a slow rhythm against the pavement beneath him. He really wasn’t in the mood for thinking about Jones and his games anymore. At least now he could lose himself in the one thing he enjoyed the most. Letting another sigh escape his lips, Jack risked a quick look upwards to the deep royal blue sky hovering over him. Still, he just couldn’t shake one last thought. How could he have gotten it all so wrong?
And now for the pink writing of doom…..ok maybe not, but it is the inevitable bit of my fic writing where I ask you (very politely of course) for your much valued comments. So what did you think? Have I let you down with this chapter? (Although I really hope I haven’t! :S) Your comments do keep me writing and are the only reward I get for any of this, so if you can, drop me a line! Thanks!
Just Being Me
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Click here for Chapter Three