(no subject)
Title: The Skinny-dipping Incident
Author: Christina aka just me
Pairing: Dorli
Summary: Orli has an accident and still has to go to his premiere. Humour and manshex ensues.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Ok I have to put one on this fic cus I so don’t think Orli is anything like this. I swear!
Author’s Notes: To my Charity who requested it. And for Eric Banna who really does a funny impersonation of Orli.
It had been a really strange day. I had to go to a premiere in L.A. and somehow ended up twisting my ankle when I fell over a big armchair that someone had carelessly left against the wall of my hotel room. I didn’t complain to management about it. I felt charitable. I did, however call down to get someone to come up and look at it. I think they sent a janitor. He hummed and hawed over my ankle and then scurried off to the bathroom to grab some medical tape and a tensor bandage.
He wrapped it up pretty good and said that I should try to stay off it for a while. Well that’s fine maybe for a janitor, but I had places to be that night. It was fine to walk on if I wanted to be in a lot of pain. Better that then miss the whole premiere night. I glared at the chair. ‘Stupid chair.’ I thought to myself. I was really not having a good day.
Ok so it was a bad week. My girlfriend had broken up with me on Wednesday. Like she wouldn’t be back. No one breaks up with Orlando Bloom. Well that made me mad, along with the fact that I had to whack-off for those past few days didn’t make me a happy camper on Thursday when I got in a big fight with my agent. Over how much I was or wasn’t paying him. He’s my agent. Wasn’t he supposed to handle everything? So here was Friday and premiere night and instead of wearing my nice cloven toed slippers, I had to think of something else quick.
I picked up the phone and called Viggo. No answer. I guessed he must be on his way here. I had called both him and Dom, the only two people I knew in L.A. and available to go, earlier in the week. Viggo had some art thing show or whatever but I talked him out of it to come party with me. ‘Cause of course any party that I’m at would be better than any old stuffy art dooey. So I hung up and called Dom.
“’Ello?” He answered on the first ring. Good old Dominic. Nothing better to do than sit by the phone waiting for me to call.
“Hey, Dom. You getting ready?” I asked but I didn’t really care. I shot right into my next question. “I just did something with my ankle. What shoes should I wear?”
“Hmmm?” Came the reply over the receiver.
“Can’t you hear me? What are you doing? I’m having a shoe problem here.” I practically shouted.
“You have sandals?” He asked after a few minutes. What was he doing over there? Was he listening to me? Didn’t he know that sandals didn’t go with my outfit?
I sighed and replied, “Okay. I’ll figure something out.” I hung up. Dom knew nothing of fashion. That’s apparent just looking at him.
I limped to the bedroom and put on my slacks and stylish stripy short sleeve shirt. I didn’t feel like putting on my dark brown suede jacket yet but I looked at the shoes I had wanted to wear with disgust. “Sandals.” I huffed.
The phone rang. The girl at the front desk asked if I was expecting someone named Viggo. Ok so I forgot to mention he would be here but he’s Viggo Mortenson, hello. I tell little miss clueless that it’s okay for Vig to come up. He must have climbed the twelve floors of steps because by the time he knocked at my door I had called down to front desk again to get someone up here with drugs. Strong ones. My ankle hurt massively.
“Hey Vig.” I grumbled in pain as he entered my suite. Stupid ankle. Those slippers are one of my favourite pairs of shoes.
“What happened?” He gestured to it.
“I tripped.”
“You? No! What’d you trip on?”
Uh…”I forget.” I said quickly. “It hurts too much to think.” Another knock at the door. This time it was the pills. Wow. Viggo must have walked up.
He took some painkillers out of the bottle and got me a questionably clean glass of water. The water was rank. Why did he use it from the tap? Isn’t there a rule that you can’t drink L.A. water without turning into a mutant? I drank it anyway and thought of my future babies all born with three eyes. They would have the deepest brown three eyes on the planet though.
I couldn’t wait to see what kind of stupid shoes Dom came here with. While we waited, me and Vig talked about stuff. My prospective job offers and girls that I’d slept with, he about his art and music and poetry and…. Well the list went on. I didn’t stop listening. I could have repeated anything back to him. Except the part after ‘Well I…’. Yeah, that part was a little fuzzy. Must have been the painkillers taking over.
Dom finally arrived when I think I may have either died from boredom or fell asleep. I guess I was feeling a little drowsy. I wished I had been asleep when I looked at the sandals he brought. They reminded me of shoes I’d wear to the beach. No not even the beach. Shoes I would wear while showering in a germ infested community shower if I ever went to a public swimming pool.
“Just put them on.” He rolled his eyes and I hate that. “No one’s going to be looking at your bloody feet anyway.” Well he had a point there. I still didn’t want to put the shoes on but I guessed it was that or go barefoot. Which I contemplated also. Barefoot wouldn’t be all that bad.
Okay. So I didn’t go barefoot. My pant-legs covered most of the sandal and I made sure all the camera people were looking at my award-winning smile. The night wasn’t too bad. Except for the fact that the movie stank when it was all put together, except for my parts. I carried the whole movie. I thought to myself that I should have been paid more and to ask my lawyers to sue Alliance for me. I don’t think I fell asleep, but Dom kept nudging me ever so often and Viggo would say my name through parts. I thought all that nudging and whispering was really annoying. I had just swallowed painkillers. They knew that.
The film finally ended and we all went to the after party. Now that was some fun right there. Pretty women everywhere and never ending free alcohol. I made sure Viggo and Dom were treated well also. And after a night of drinking, women and dancing in my not-so-sore ankle, we stumbled into my hotel room at four thirty the morning. I insisted they both stay with me. I was getting scared that maybe I would fall asleep and never wake up ‘cause of the combination of pills and alcohol I had consumed all night. I got another eye-roll from Dom and a little sigh from Viggo. You would think I asked them to climb Everest for me. I was just asking for a little of their time.
Viggo, the old man, fell asleep almost right away and after talking for what could have been maybe a half hour, Dom started to drift off too. I commented at how big of pussies they were and when I got no response from either of them, I decided I had to do something. Then I remembered I had a private pool up on the roof. Sweet. I would go for a swim. It would sure help my ankle a lot. However, I didn’t pack swim trunks. Well who needs trunks when I had the pool all to myself? I’d go skinny-dipping.
I made my way up there hobbling all the way up the stairs and almost collapsed as soon as I got in. There was a pool to my left and a hot tub to my right. So which one was I going to go for? A nice leisurely float or the heat and jets? Of course I went straight for the hot tub. I discarded articles of clothing along the way. A shirt here, trousers there. I could have left my underwear on but then they would have gotten all wet.
There was this button to push to start the jets and I did that before limping my way down the tub steps. The hot water hit my naked body and it felt almost orgasmic, and orgasmic reminded me of the fact that I hadn’t gotten laid in a long time. That started me wanking off slowly. I slid my hand up and down my shaft, enjoying the feeling of the hot water surrounding me. I was so into it that I didn’t notice that someone else had come into the pool room and was standing at the edge of the pool until I heard a throat being cleared. My hand froze and I looked up. Holy-fucking Dominic.
He was naked and just standing there at the edge of the hot tub. I had to think for a moment that he was just tricking me that he was asleep ‘cause somehow he knew that I would come up here and get naked and start masturbating. What he said next almost confirmed what I was thinking.
“I could help you with that.” He descended the steps and got closer. How did I not see that he was gay? I’m usually very good at noticing these things. Like my hairdresser…gay. All the male staff at Hilfiger…gay. Dom? Apparently gay. No wonder he was so close to Billy and Elijah. God they all must be gay.
“I’m not what you think I am.” I tried to stand up but my ankle conspired to make me fall right into his arms. And then he was kissing me. I was so confused and still a bit drunk I guessed, that I found myself kissing back. Not because I liked it, but because I was drunk and drugged up and the heat from the tub was too much. I kissed him like kissing was going out of style and he ran his fingers through my damp curls. Now who wouldn’t want to touch my hair? I guessed that if women loved me, then why wouldn’t men.
His cock was bouncing against mine in the water like the bottom half of our bodies were in slow motion. The upper halfs weren’t. His fingers trailed over my shoulders and back and mine slid down the front of him. I touched non-soft chest thinking this was the weirdest thing I’d ever experienced and would never ever talk about to anyone. His nipples were nice. Smaller than a woman’s but just as easy to rub hard. And speaking of hard. He had gotten closer and was rubbing against me. The water impeded his efforts and since I was already horny over thinking of my ex-girlfriend naked, I wished he weren’t moving so slowly.
We still continued to kiss but it wasn’t enough for him to just kiss me on the lips. No, he wanted to taste me all over. As he went for my ears, my neck, my chest, I tried to rub harder against his body. I didn’t really like the way his cock slid perfectly against mine. I didn’t enjoy the breathy sounds he made in my ear as he was nibbling it thinking I liked to be nibbled. I was fond of the friction. I hoped for some nice wet pussy to trust into. This would have to do.
He turned me away from him. What the hell was he doing? He positioned my hands on the cool tile of the edge. The cool, the hot together was strange. His cock on my ass cheek was stranger yet. He reached for my cock at the same time something entered my ass. The prick rubbing was great but what was he doing in my ass. Too small to be his…and then he bumped into something in there. Oh. My. God. I thrust wickedly into his hand and he snickered.
“Like that?” He whispered in my ear and nibbled that nibble I didn’t like and was to far into this now to care if I didn’t like it anymore. He kept nudging that spot over and over and wanking my cock. I was getting so close.
“Fuck. I’m going to cum.” I kept lunging into his fist but he stopped moving and took what I guessed by now was his finger, out. I wanted to have it back. I wanted him to keep stoking me. Stupid fucker. First the sandals and now…ouch. Now that was no finger. He tried to trick me by grabbing my dick again and pumping it over and over, but it wasn’t working very effectively. The sting in my ass was foremost in my mind.
“Relax.” He whispered. Relax? How was I supposed to relax with him shoving his cock In. My. Ass. But when he slid all the way in, he touched that spot again with his dick…I tried not to think about that…causing my body to respond once more the way it had before. I was caught in a rhythm he set for me, and for once…even with the stretching and aching burn…I felt free. I didn’t have to be in control. And I flew over the brink and just came.
I leaned forward with my forehead on my arms and waited for him to cum, which didn’t take long, and he leaned over me pressing kisses to my spine, my scar, my once broken back. I had thought I was invincible then, but now I knew what true invincibility was like. It was letting go and letting others take control.
He pulled away and coaxed me back up to a standing position. He looked at me sadly and I had to hug him for it.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.” He murmured in my ear. I thought I could hear him starting to cry.
“I’m sorry I hurt everyone else.” I threw my head back, laughed, and then faced him one more time. Those lips begged to be kissed so I did and we were both happy.
Author: Christina aka just me
Pairing: Dorli
Summary: Orli has an accident and still has to go to his premiere. Humour and manshex ensues.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Ok I have to put one on this fic cus I so don’t think Orli is anything like this. I swear!
Author’s Notes: To my Charity who requested it. And for Eric Banna who really does a funny impersonation of Orli.
It had been a really strange day. I had to go to a premiere in L.A. and somehow ended up twisting my ankle when I fell over a big armchair that someone had carelessly left against the wall of my hotel room. I didn’t complain to management about it. I felt charitable. I did, however call down to get someone to come up and look at it. I think they sent a janitor. He hummed and hawed over my ankle and then scurried off to the bathroom to grab some medical tape and a tensor bandage.
He wrapped it up pretty good and said that I should try to stay off it for a while. Well that’s fine maybe for a janitor, but I had places to be that night. It was fine to walk on if I wanted to be in a lot of pain. Better that then miss the whole premiere night. I glared at the chair. ‘Stupid chair.’ I thought to myself. I was really not having a good day.
Ok so it was a bad week. My girlfriend had broken up with me on Wednesday. Like she wouldn’t be back. No one breaks up with Orlando Bloom. Well that made me mad, along with the fact that I had to whack-off for those past few days didn’t make me a happy camper on Thursday when I got in a big fight with my agent. Over how much I was or wasn’t paying him. He’s my agent. Wasn’t he supposed to handle everything? So here was Friday and premiere night and instead of wearing my nice cloven toed slippers, I had to think of something else quick.
I picked up the phone and called Viggo. No answer. I guessed he must be on his way here. I had called both him and Dom, the only two people I knew in L.A. and available to go, earlier in the week. Viggo had some art thing show or whatever but I talked him out of it to come party with me. ‘Cause of course any party that I’m at would be better than any old stuffy art dooey. So I hung up and called Dom.
“’Ello?” He answered on the first ring. Good old Dominic. Nothing better to do than sit by the phone waiting for me to call.
“Hey, Dom. You getting ready?” I asked but I didn’t really care. I shot right into my next question. “I just did something with my ankle. What shoes should I wear?”
“Hmmm?” Came the reply over the receiver.
“Can’t you hear me? What are you doing? I’m having a shoe problem here.” I practically shouted.
“You have sandals?” He asked after a few minutes. What was he doing over there? Was he listening to me? Didn’t he know that sandals didn’t go with my outfit?
I sighed and replied, “Okay. I’ll figure something out.” I hung up. Dom knew nothing of fashion. That’s apparent just looking at him.
I limped to the bedroom and put on my slacks and stylish stripy short sleeve shirt. I didn’t feel like putting on my dark brown suede jacket yet but I looked at the shoes I had wanted to wear with disgust. “Sandals.” I huffed.
The phone rang. The girl at the front desk asked if I was expecting someone named Viggo. Ok so I forgot to mention he would be here but he’s Viggo Mortenson, hello. I tell little miss clueless that it’s okay for Vig to come up. He must have climbed the twelve floors of steps because by the time he knocked at my door I had called down to front desk again to get someone up here with drugs. Strong ones. My ankle hurt massively.
“Hey Vig.” I grumbled in pain as he entered my suite. Stupid ankle. Those slippers are one of my favourite pairs of shoes.
“What happened?” He gestured to it.
“I tripped.”
“You? No! What’d you trip on?”
Uh…”I forget.” I said quickly. “It hurts too much to think.” Another knock at the door. This time it was the pills. Wow. Viggo must have walked up.
He took some painkillers out of the bottle and got me a questionably clean glass of water. The water was rank. Why did he use it from the tap? Isn’t there a rule that you can’t drink L.A. water without turning into a mutant? I drank it anyway and thought of my future babies all born with three eyes. They would have the deepest brown three eyes on the planet though.
I couldn’t wait to see what kind of stupid shoes Dom came here with. While we waited, me and Vig talked about stuff. My prospective job offers and girls that I’d slept with, he about his art and music and poetry and…. Well the list went on. I didn’t stop listening. I could have repeated anything back to him. Except the part after ‘Well I…’. Yeah, that part was a little fuzzy. Must have been the painkillers taking over.
Dom finally arrived when I think I may have either died from boredom or fell asleep. I guess I was feeling a little drowsy. I wished I had been asleep when I looked at the sandals he brought. They reminded me of shoes I’d wear to the beach. No not even the beach. Shoes I would wear while showering in a germ infested community shower if I ever went to a public swimming pool.
“Just put them on.” He rolled his eyes and I hate that. “No one’s going to be looking at your bloody feet anyway.” Well he had a point there. I still didn’t want to put the shoes on but I guessed it was that or go barefoot. Which I contemplated also. Barefoot wouldn’t be all that bad.
Okay. So I didn’t go barefoot. My pant-legs covered most of the sandal and I made sure all the camera people were looking at my award-winning smile. The night wasn’t too bad. Except for the fact that the movie stank when it was all put together, except for my parts. I carried the whole movie. I thought to myself that I should have been paid more and to ask my lawyers to sue Alliance for me. I don’t think I fell asleep, but Dom kept nudging me ever so often and Viggo would say my name through parts. I thought all that nudging and whispering was really annoying. I had just swallowed painkillers. They knew that.
The film finally ended and we all went to the after party. Now that was some fun right there. Pretty women everywhere and never ending free alcohol. I made sure Viggo and Dom were treated well also. And after a night of drinking, women and dancing in my not-so-sore ankle, we stumbled into my hotel room at four thirty the morning. I insisted they both stay with me. I was getting scared that maybe I would fall asleep and never wake up ‘cause of the combination of pills and alcohol I had consumed all night. I got another eye-roll from Dom and a little sigh from Viggo. You would think I asked them to climb Everest for me. I was just asking for a little of their time.
Viggo, the old man, fell asleep almost right away and after talking for what could have been maybe a half hour, Dom started to drift off too. I commented at how big of pussies they were and when I got no response from either of them, I decided I had to do something. Then I remembered I had a private pool up on the roof. Sweet. I would go for a swim. It would sure help my ankle a lot. However, I didn’t pack swim trunks. Well who needs trunks when I had the pool all to myself? I’d go skinny-dipping.
I made my way up there hobbling all the way up the stairs and almost collapsed as soon as I got in. There was a pool to my left and a hot tub to my right. So which one was I going to go for? A nice leisurely float or the heat and jets? Of course I went straight for the hot tub. I discarded articles of clothing along the way. A shirt here, trousers there. I could have left my underwear on but then they would have gotten all wet.
There was this button to push to start the jets and I did that before limping my way down the tub steps. The hot water hit my naked body and it felt almost orgasmic, and orgasmic reminded me of the fact that I hadn’t gotten laid in a long time. That started me wanking off slowly. I slid my hand up and down my shaft, enjoying the feeling of the hot water surrounding me. I was so into it that I didn’t notice that someone else had come into the pool room and was standing at the edge of the pool until I heard a throat being cleared. My hand froze and I looked up. Holy-fucking Dominic.
He was naked and just standing there at the edge of the hot tub. I had to think for a moment that he was just tricking me that he was asleep ‘cause somehow he knew that I would come up here and get naked and start masturbating. What he said next almost confirmed what I was thinking.
“I could help you with that.” He descended the steps and got closer. How did I not see that he was gay? I’m usually very good at noticing these things. Like my hairdresser…gay. All the male staff at Hilfiger…gay. Dom? Apparently gay. No wonder he was so close to Billy and Elijah. God they all must be gay.
“I’m not what you think I am.” I tried to stand up but my ankle conspired to make me fall right into his arms. And then he was kissing me. I was so confused and still a bit drunk I guessed, that I found myself kissing back. Not because I liked it, but because I was drunk and drugged up and the heat from the tub was too much. I kissed him like kissing was going out of style and he ran his fingers through my damp curls. Now who wouldn’t want to touch my hair? I guessed that if women loved me, then why wouldn’t men.
His cock was bouncing against mine in the water like the bottom half of our bodies were in slow motion. The upper halfs weren’t. His fingers trailed over my shoulders and back and mine slid down the front of him. I touched non-soft chest thinking this was the weirdest thing I’d ever experienced and would never ever talk about to anyone. His nipples were nice. Smaller than a woman’s but just as easy to rub hard. And speaking of hard. He had gotten closer and was rubbing against me. The water impeded his efforts and since I was already horny over thinking of my ex-girlfriend naked, I wished he weren’t moving so slowly.
We still continued to kiss but it wasn’t enough for him to just kiss me on the lips. No, he wanted to taste me all over. As he went for my ears, my neck, my chest, I tried to rub harder against his body. I didn’t really like the way his cock slid perfectly against mine. I didn’t enjoy the breathy sounds he made in my ear as he was nibbling it thinking I liked to be nibbled. I was fond of the friction. I hoped for some nice wet pussy to trust into. This would have to do.
He turned me away from him. What the hell was he doing? He positioned my hands on the cool tile of the edge. The cool, the hot together was strange. His cock on my ass cheek was stranger yet. He reached for my cock at the same time something entered my ass. The prick rubbing was great but what was he doing in my ass. Too small to be his…and then he bumped into something in there. Oh. My. God. I thrust wickedly into his hand and he snickered.
“Like that?” He whispered in my ear and nibbled that nibble I didn’t like and was to far into this now to care if I didn’t like it anymore. He kept nudging that spot over and over and wanking my cock. I was getting so close.
“Fuck. I’m going to cum.” I kept lunging into his fist but he stopped moving and took what I guessed by now was his finger, out. I wanted to have it back. I wanted him to keep stoking me. Stupid fucker. First the sandals and now…ouch. Now that was no finger. He tried to trick me by grabbing my dick again and pumping it over and over, but it wasn’t working very effectively. The sting in my ass was foremost in my mind.
“Relax.” He whispered. Relax? How was I supposed to relax with him shoving his cock In. My. Ass. But when he slid all the way in, he touched that spot again with his dick…I tried not to think about that…causing my body to respond once more the way it had before. I was caught in a rhythm he set for me, and for once…even with the stretching and aching burn…I felt free. I didn’t have to be in control. And I flew over the brink and just came.
I leaned forward with my forehead on my arms and waited for him to cum, which didn’t take long, and he leaned over me pressing kisses to my spine, my scar, my once broken back. I had thought I was invincible then, but now I knew what true invincibility was like. It was letting go and letting others take control.
He pulled away and coaxed me back up to a standing position. He looked at me sadly and I had to hug him for it.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.” He murmured in my ear. I thought I could hear him starting to cry.
“I’m sorry I hurt everyone else.” I threw my head back, laughed, and then faced him one more time. Those lips begged to be kissed so I did and we were both happy.