Ukiyo - Chapter Three
~ * Three * ~
"Arthur. It's good to see you."
Alfred made it sound so sincere, as if they hadn't just seen each other last night. As if they were more than just mere acquaintances and Alfred had genuinely missed him.
He certainly was a good actor, a good entertainer, a brilliant addition to the working men and women of Yoshiwara. If Alfred had been a woman, Arthur knew he would already have fallen under the spell trying to entrap him. Make him believe he was really wanted here, so he would spend all his money on a dream, a fantasy.
Even as it was, with both of them being men, Arthur could tell it was working.
To take his mind of that, he looked away from Alfred and finally noticed the fully-laden cherry trees framing the island. For a second he was alert and suspicious, wondering how they had blossomed overnight. Then he remembered that this was a magical place. And besides, it was quite possible that he had just been too involved in Alfred's story telling last night to notice the blossoms.
They were beautiful, even in the dark of night. They glowed pink from the light of the lanterns shining through the pale, thin petals - exploring every shade from almost bright fucshia to pastel pink to white. The trees were all low, as if they couldn't grow taller with such a heavy load of flowers weighing them down. The blossoms were small themselves, but there were so many. It looked like you could be crushed and drowned if you stayed under the canopy too long.
"I thought I could introduce you to the tradition of hanami," said Alfred, coming to stand by Arthur and join him in staring at the canopy of cherry blossoms. "It's one of the most important and beloved times of year in Japan. We get dressed up and picnic under the sakura with friends. At night, it's called yozakura. We drink and make merry...and I would like you to join us."
Arthur finally looked back at Alfred and nodded. "Thank you. That's very generous of you."
Alfred hadn't smiled yet, and it was a little strange to see him so serious. He was hard to read at the best of times, but still, Arthur couldn't help but feel that there was something on his mind.
"You look very handsome in your uniform," Alfred announced out of the blue. Arthur blushed furiously, pinker than any of the sakura, and finally Alfred chuckled. "But I was wondering..." he continued. "People often wear traditional Japanese clothes for yozakura and hanami. Would you like to...try something on for the evening?"
Arthur's eyes widened and he honestly wasn't sre if he wanted to say yes or not. It would make Alfred happy but he would stand out and feel awkward.
"I'll take good care of you," Alfred said, a sly smile tugging up a corner of his mouth. With the red sweep of make-up elongating his eyes, he looked inhuman right now. Not like a monster but just...something untouchable, something that didn't belong around someone like Arthur. Arthur didn't want to feel so separate from him.
"All right."
Alfred led him into one of the smaller buildings of the estate and up into an empty room with paper walls. There was only a painting of a tree on the wall, and a few parasols lying in a corner. Besides that there was no furniture or decoration at all.
A handful of servants arrived bearing bags and packages, and as they opened it all up on the floor, Arthur realised it was a kimono like Alfred's. He wasn't sure if they were specifically women's clothes or not - he never saw anyone dressed exactly like Alfred, but his clothes looked much more like the women's robes in Yoshiwara than the men's. But all the women had far more layers under their silk kimono, and Alfred's fell away to reveal a bit more of his bare chest, unlike anyone else.
Arthur was nervous, not wanting to make a fool of himself by wearing something inappropriate. But if Alfred was picking it out for him, it must be okay. He decided to trust him, no matter how awkward he felt in these clothes. He had to show Alfred that he had an ally.
He removed his coat and trousers and let the servants wrap him up in a thin black gown. It was tight around his middle, and clung to his legs, but it hung loose about his shoulders and revealed his toned chest, just like Alfred's style of clothes. Then the girls slipped a blue silk kimono over top, patterned with pale blue blossoms and a few white geometric diamonds. Alfred's also was covered in flowers tonight, and was a deep red, as usual. The robe was too long, and the servants began folding it up around his middle until the hem reached his ankles, leaving his feet clearly visible.
When the girls had finished tying the gown around Arthur's waist, it was tight and restrictive in places, but still left some of his chest bare. It was different to his navy uniform in so many ways. Although that was stiff and pristine and restrictive, he could still feel his body, each limbw here it was supposed to be, and his legs able to stretch and move. But in this kimono, despite the fact that it was just a few layers of robes, he felt like his body was lost and hidden, even from himself. It was very strange, but made him feel graceful, and he found himself standing tall rather than hiding in on himself.
The servants brought Alfred some small boxes of red paint and a few brushes and the man stepped forward to Arthur. Arthur closed his eyes, blushing furiously, and felt Afred sweep a brush across the corner of his eyelid towards his temple. The same happened on the other side, and then there was a brush against his lower lip, just the slightest dab.
"You look wonderful, Arthur."
Arthur opened his eyes and found himself looking at his reflection. He could feel how different he must look in these clothes, but it was still a surprise to see it. He didn't look like himself at all, even though his face was clearly visible. The kimono changed him and he felt...different. He should have been able to feel just the same as always, no matter what clothes he was wearing. But something so Japanese, so foreign, made everything feel different.
"Your hair is a little short so...I have something for you."
Alfred was smirking, and Arthur wondered what on earth he had up his sleeve now. Alfred opened up one of the packages on the ground and Arthur peered over him to see. It looked like a clump of golden grass...
"You need a ponytail, so I wove this for you out of reeds. Yoshiwara means "reed moor", but can also be written to say "joyful moor." Which people like for obvious reasons."
He stepped around behind Arthur, and the Englishman felt a bit of tugging and playing with his hair. Finally there was a click, and Alfred stepped away, holding up a mirror so Alfred could see the reflection of the back of his head in the mirror before him.
He blushed again when he realised that the reeds really did look a lot like his scruffy, scarecrow hair and Alfred laughed at his indignant face.
"Uncany, isn't it. You look like you could a spirit of the reed moor itself!"
Arthur reached behind himself to touch the reed ponytail, but Alfred caught his hand, making Arthur jump.
"Come. We don't have all night."
Arhtur didn't see why not, but Alfred always seemed to be rushing off far too soon on their evenings together. He didn't even get to see him after the show last night. Which reminded him...
"Last night, at the show..."
"Thank you again for protecting me," said Alfred, as he and Arthur set off outside and back across the long wooden bridge to the main area of Yoshiwara. "Sometimes the patrons can get a little riled up over who will be seeing the actors after the show."
"After the show?" Arthur asked, his heart sinking and twisting painfully at the same time.
Alfred glanced at him sidelong and nodded, silently.
Arthur looked down at the ground, trying to focus on walking on his new sandals, with his legs wrapped up in the robe. He didn't want to think about Alfred after the show, didn't want to acknowledge any of that part of his job.
"Kiku makes sure I don't see anyone I'm not comfortable with," Alfred said, breaking the silence and only hurting Arthur more at having to hear such things. "I'm popular enough that I can afford to be picky. But, Arthur...it's not as horrible as you think."
"God told us not to lay with other men," said Arthur staring pointedly at the ground and trying to hold in the tears he could feel burning his eyes. The thought of Alfred being reduced to a life like that, and trying to get Arthur to join in...
"If you had been born here, would you have known that?" asked Alfred, his voice level, not accusatory. "Would you have found your God despite living on the other side of the world where His word holds no weight? Where you were raised differently, where yor parents and society and emperor had no problem with finding pleasure and affection in someone like you? I thought you said that that you were no one to judge which culture had it right."
They walked in silence for the rest of the bridge. Rain was falling again, soft and light as snow causing little 'drip' and 'pitter patter' sounds on the lake. Alfred held the umbrella for them, a big red one again, looking so much like the moon on the horizon.
Finally they arrived at the back gate of Yoshiwara. It opened for them without command and Alfred led Arthur down the main street of Naka-no-chou. It was alive with peopl, even more than usual although Arthur hadn't thought it possible.
Filing down the centre of the main street were a long line of trees, all laden with their heavy burden of flowers. Branches stuck out here and there with only a few perfect blossoms decorating the wood, and Arthur wished he could capture their beauty. It was too beautiful to leave behind, to know that it wouldn't be around forever. It almost broke Arthur's heart to think that all these blossoms would die, and that it would be another year before new ones were born. And he'd probably never get to see them again when he had to leave for England. It was too painful to think of never seeing such beauty again. He almost wished he'd never seen the flowers at all.
"I can see by your expression that you already understand the beauty and tragedy of sakura," said Alfred softly. Arthur still heard him over the laughing crowd, rushing about around them with drinks and food on sticks, men and women in elaborate clothes stumbling about the street, drunk on sake.
"They are lovely. But they make me sad for some reason," Arthur admitted.
"It is oshimu. You feel regret that the flowers can't last, that we can do noting to keep their beauty and purity alive. But there is a sense of life and hope and continuity, too. They will be back next year. It will be dark and lonely without the sakura but they will come back for us."
Arthur couldn't decide if he hated or loved the sakura. It was a terribel mix of both.
Alfred drew him away from the trees and bought them some treats at a vendor. He handed Arthur a smooth pink crescent moon made of something that looked like raw dough. It was slightly powdery, a pale pink like many of the blossoms that night, and wrapped up in a green leaf.
"Sakuramochi," Alfred explained as they went to stand under one of the trees. "A popular sweet for hanami and yozakura."
Arthur waited for Alfred to take a bite, wondering if he was actually meant to eat the leaf, and followed his example. It didn't taste of much, but was ever so slightly sweet.
"It is made of rice, pounded smooth and flat," Alfred explained, smiling fondly at Arthur's hesitant little nibbles. "If you take a bigger bite, there is sweet red bean inside."
Sure enough, when Arthur took a regular bite, he found a very sweet red paste inside, a little lumpy with the skin of the beans, and truly delicious. He closed his eyes to focus more on the taste. And in doing so, he found himself seeing much more of the night than he had wit his eyes open.
Now that he was not so busy focusing on himself and Alfred, he heard the excited clamour of the crowds out enjoying yozakura. It made him smile just hearing how happy everyone seemed to be. He couldn't imagine life in Yoshiwara was easy for anyone, but tonight the people seemed free. Sakura really was special to them, it seemed.
He felt a fresh breeze carress his face, sweeping a few rain drops onto his face as it drifted past. But the cool water felt refreshing, too - felt appropriate for a night dedicated to enjoying te beauty of nature.
He heard the flowers above him rustling as they brushed against each other in the slight wind. It sounded like whispers, and he could have sword he heard voices above him in the flowers, but that must be his imagination. Unless it was another spirit of Yoshiwara like the ones he'd been seeing the past two nights. He wouldn't be surprised to find the majestic sakura trees had spirits of their own, like the foxes, and the winged rabbit. There was something so completely magical about them, he was almsot certain of it.
A sudden touch to his face startled him. It felt like a finger trip brushed his forehead, but when he opened his eyes, Alfred was still holding the last of his sakuramochi. The American was smiling at him, warm and genuine.
Alfred tucked the last of his sakuramochi into his mouth and reached out, smiling. "You're covered in petals, Arthur."
He picked a few pale blossoms out of Arthur's hair, and finally off his forehead where Arthur had felt the petal's touch moments ago.
Arthur found himself so focused on Alfred's eyes that he didn't notice the other step closer. He only realised what was about to happen when he felt Alfred's hand reach back and brush his reed ponytail.
"You're not a client, Arthur."
Arthur stared at him, his heart thundering so loud he couldn't hear his own thoughts or decide what to say.
Alfred pulled the umbrella lower, shielding them from the eyes of the crowds on Naka-no-chou. Here between the sakura tree and the umbrella, they were away from everyone.
"I've never wanted anything," Alfred continued, stroking Arthur's ponytail and hair and then letting his fingers trail down to Arthur's cheek. "But you make me want everything. I know it's alarming for you...but I need you. Will you help me?"
Arthur found himself nodding before he even gave it a thought. "I will do anything I can for you, Alfred."
Alfred looked down at the ground, smiling happily and looking so muc younger than he had appeared the last few days. "I know you will."
And again, before Arthur even had time to think about it, they were leaning in to each other and letting their lips meet. As if everything about this momen were as natural as the cherry blossoms and was always meant to happen.
It was slow and careful. Arthur had never kissed anyone before, and Alfred seemed to sense that. He almost worried that he was embarrassing himself, or that Alfred was irritated at his lack of experience. But Alfred wasn't doing anything to change the way they touched, just leting their lips rest gently against each other, as if for support.
When they finally drifted apart, a mere breath of space between them, Arthur opened his eyes to find Alfred looking down at him so intensely it made him shiver more than the kiss.
"I'm sorry for forcing this upon you," Alfred whispered. The red make-up around his eyes once again highlighted the sadness in his blue eyes. "I'm sorry for all of it. Turning your world upside down, making you see things you can't understand, making you feel things you thought were wrong. But thank you, Arthur. Thank you for staying with me. I'm so lucky I met you."
He looked so genuinely sad and sorry, like he really felt bad for opening up Arthur's world. Arthur couldn't allow it. Feeling stronger and braver for Alfred's sake, Arthur reached up and cradled the hair of Alfred's ponytail in his hand. He held it gently across his palm, running his hand down the smooth golden hairs.
"If it means I got to meet you and help you, I don't care what happens to me. I'll be here for you." It sounded like a sacrifice, but really Arthur felt lucky to say it. It was all he wanted to be able to help Alfred and make him happy.
Something about his words made tears bubble up in Alfred's eyes. There was only a second for Arthur to notice the shining water before it was spilling over and down Alfred's cheeks. He quickly reached out and wrapped his arms around Alfred's shoulders, tugging the taller man to his chest to comfort him. Once again, whatever he'd said had been the wrong thing to say, and he didn't know why. But as long as Alfred knew he was here for him, maybe he'd feel better. He hoped so.
He didn't know what he could to help Alfred. He didn't know why someone like this magnificent American would need to rely on a lowly man like Arthur. But he would be here. Whatever Alfred needed from him, Arthur would make sure to give.
They were still little more than strangers; they'd only known each other for three days. But Arthur already knew that Alfred was important to him. And looking up over Alfred's head at the pale, perfect sakura blossoms waving at him in the night breeze, Arthur knew he would protect Alfred in the way he couldn't protect the flowers. He would make sure Alfred blossomed and lasted for as long as he lived. That was his destiny now.
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Historical Notes
hanami = centuries old tradition of flower viewing in spring. Used to be jsut for the elite, but by this point in time, it had become popular for normal people in the city, too. This was one of the only times of year when the women working in Yoshiwara were allowed out of the district's walls - so they could head to a park and view sakura. Night time hanami is called yozakura. It usually involves a bit more sake.
Yoshiwara = the original location of Yoshiwara was on a moor with lots of reeds. So the district was named Yoshiwara ("reed moor") after the landscape. However, that Yoshiwara burned down - there were many fires in Edo because almost every building was made of wood. The "New Yoshiwara" (the one where Alfred lives) was not built on a moor, it was just built ont he north end of Edo. If you change the strokes slightly for one of the kanji in Yoshiwara, it becomes "Pleasure Moor" which is oddly appropriate considering Yoshiwara is a red-light district.
sakuramochi = a classic hanami treat. I'm not a huge fan as mochi doesn't really taste of anything and I am fucking sick of red bean paste. I'd much rather have chocolate in all my treats.