A Celebration of Love Between Man and Animal
Arthur debated for a long, long time whether or not to go through with this.
On the one hand, he really wanted a professional photo taken with his cat, because Crumpet meant the entire world to him.
On the other hand, even he knew that was rather sad, and going through with it would be possibly the most embarrassing thing he'd ever do in public.
But then one day Crumpet got sick, quite out of the blue, and Arthur had to leave him at the vet's and just pray he pulled through, and it was absolutely traumatising. He made it, thank God, and that decided things for the awkward Englishman. He would get those photos with Crumpet, because he loved the damn cat, and the old boy wouldn't be around forever.
So now all Arthur had to do was phone someone up and say "I'm a lonely, single gay man and my cat is my whole world, because I'm a massive stereotype of both gay men and older single people. I would like you to take some adorable and glamorous pictures of us together so I can hang them up in my home because I'm just that lame and ridiculous."
That was going to be one of those phonecalls Arthur would have to prepare for. As in, spending every evening that week just relaxing, taking it easy, building up the push, making the damned phone call without planning it otherwise he'd never have the courage, and then spending an entire weekend recuperating from the humiliation.
Doing the damn shoot was going to be even more horrific...
But so be it. Arthur would only have to look at Crumpet, curled up on the sofa beside him or on his lap if the cat was feeling particularly generous, and know he would go through with it, no matter how awkward. Crumpet was special. Arthur had had pets before as a child, and a teenager, and he loved them all, dearly. But Crumpet was his. Crumpet was his White Fang, his Old Yeller, his Tarka the Otter. They were a pair, and Arthur wanted to be able to have evidence of that.
So after four solid days of telling himself "You'll make the call on Friday, so just eat lots of take-out tonight, you deserve it for what you're about to go through," he found himself reaching for the phone the minute he walked in to his flat on Friday evening and dialling the number he'd left by the phone.
"Yello! Williams Photography! How can I help you?"
Arthur's stomach churned, and he closed his eyes in some off-shot philosophy of 'If I can't see you, you can't see me.' Maybe along the lines of 'If I can pretend this is all happening in my head, then I'm not making a fool of myself in reality.'
"Hello. I'd like to book a photo shoot. You do portraits with pets, correct?" he asked quickly, voice sounding like his father's for some odd reason.
"Yup! Sure do!" Arthur could honestly almost hear the exclamation marks at the end of every sentence, this man was so enthusiastic. He hoped the photographers laughter wasn't just as energetic when it came down to it... "You want just the pet, or you and the pet?"
"...T-together."
"Can do! What kind of animal? Anything crazy cool?"
"J-just a cat."
"Hey! Cats are crazy cool!" the man laughed, and damn, it did sound rather boisterous. It was going to feel like a physical blow when Arthur showed up for the shoot and got it right in his face. "Do you want a regular shoot, or something more glamorous?"
"What do you mean?" His voice was strained, and his brain was starting to hurt from clenching his eyes shut so tightly. So Arthur quickly opened his eyes and hurried to the couch, where he sat down and started stroking Crumpet vigorously to calm his nerves. The cat gave him an evil eye, but was too lazy to do much about the situation, so he soon settled his head back onto his front paws and drifted off.
"Well, with a standard shoot we just do the one background, and you smile at the camera and say cheese - like school photos, you know? But with a glamour shoot you can change outfits a couple times if you want, and along with regular portrait style shots we take some candid pictures and use more dynamic poses and angles. They look really great, let me tell you. Especially when it comes to pets, the glamour shoot is perfect because just taking a portrait picture of a cat doesn't help you capture its character. Plus, we photoshop all the shots afterwards to really make 'em shine. If you've never had good professional photos before, you'll be amazed how awesome you look in the right lighting, with the right camera! I really recommend it. I mean, yeah, it's more expensive, but if you're trying to capture some great moments of you and your pet together, this is exactly what you want."
He did make it sound exactly as Arthur had been imagining it in his head. Despite his anxiety over the whole thing, he found himself geting excited, and he smiled down at Crumpet in anticipation as he stroked the little dip between his folded ears.
Soon enough he was setting the time and date with the studio, and almost being defeaned by an excited "See you soon! Can't wait to meet you and your cat!" It was actually a little exhausting talking to the man, especially on top of the already stressful phone call itself.
So Arthur felt his weekend of recuperating from the trauma of social interaction and humiliation was absolutely well deserved. As for Crumpet, he didn't care why Arthur was hanging around the house so much - but he very much enjoyed having someone around to fulfill his every need and whim at the slightest glance.
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Arthur wasn't necessarily proud of the couple shots of whiskey he had to take on The Big Day, but they were, however, necessary.
Especially when he walked in and realised this Alfred F. Jones he'd spoken to on the phone was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. And Arthur didn't like to use words like "hot."
Had the drinks really had that much of an effect on him? Because seriously, there had to be some movie stars or celebrities who were more attractive than this random small-town photographer, but Arthur couldn't think of any. He couldn't think of much at all when Alfred looked up from his camera and smiled at him as he walked throught he door.
"Arthur Kirkland? Wow, you've really never taken professional photos before? I'm surprised, you look like you could be a model!"
And that was genuinely the first thing the man said to him in person. Arthur couldn't tell if he was flirting terribly to get Arthur to spend money, or if he was just obliviously polite...or something else. You know, it was all getting a little hazy the more he looked at the golden American.
He could have said the exact same about him. How was Alfred a photographer in some little studio, and not a model himself? He looked like a fucking summer landscape painted across the perfect human male body. It was ridiculous and Arthur found himself torn between anger and laughter. And swooning.
He didn't even find a reply to the man's compliment before Alfred was whisking forward to peer into Arthur's pet carrier. "So what's the little guy's name? I forgot to ask on the phone."
"Crumpet. He's a - "
"Scottish Fold! SO CUTE! His little ears! MMMMMM!"
Oh, God, this man... His face scrunched up in a smile befitting a 4 year old girl, and Arthur wasn't even rolling his eyes. Just getting more attracted to him. What the devil was wrong with him. No more whiskey ever!
"So, if you're happy in these clothes to start with, why don't you come on back here into the studio and we'll start. Don't worry if you're a little rigid and nervous at first, everyone's the same. We'll get you nice and comfortable soon and then you'll be taking great shots like you were born for it! And I bet this little guy just owns the camera, don't you Crumpet. You know you're a star! Hahaha!"
The awkward and clumsy start Arthur had been promised lasted a little too long. Either it felt like forever, or they really were near the end of their allotted time. Arthur was starting to feel so ashamed of himself for wasting everyone's time and his own pride for nothing, but then Alfred called out for a break.
"Hey, Arthur, come here! I wanna show you something," he said, waving the Englishman over to a collection of photo albums set on a desk at the back wall.
Arthur pet Crumpet on the head and sent him a mental apology, and headed over to join Alfred.
He was flipping purposefully through the albums until he stopped with an "A-ha! here we go."
He opened the album wide and slid it towards Arthur.
There on the large page, behind shiny plastic covering, were pictures of Alfred and a beast of a white cat. As expected, Alfred looked like he was made to smile a the camera. How Arthur would have loved to ask if he could buy some copies of these pictures but that was beyond crazy. He settled for turning the pagesof the album as slowly as possible, trying to memorise the beautiful, heart-warming pictures and promising himself he'd learn to paint so he could copy them down himself some day.
"That's me and my cat, Hero!" Alfred exclaimed happily. "I know people laugh when they see how much I care about my cat - I mean, I'm supposed to care about him but for some reason it's 'crossing a line' if I want to take pictures with him to capture some memories for the future? I don't get it! Why should there be some sort of limit on how much I love my cat? He's part of my family? He's my companion now that I live alone! Why should he not be important to me?!"
He was so passionate as he spoke that Arthur knew he was telling the truth. He wasn't just lying to make Arthur feel more comfortable, using some staged photos of himself and a random cat to encourage the awkward people who came here for the same thing. Alfred had a pet he loved, too, and he was happy to celebrate that friendship no matter how people laughed.
"I think it's really great when people love their pets this much, treat them like a real friend and want to do a photoshoot so they can remember their love forever," Alfred said, voice softer as he smiled down at the pictures. "Families and couples come in here all the time to get some pictures of them together. I don't see why it should be so weird for people to want the same thing with their pets. People have such a crazy stigma about single people and their pets! Drives me crazy!"
Arthur dropped the page he was turning and fumbled to find the corner again. This beautiful man was single?! What the actual fuck?!
"Oh, here, let me. This next page is the best!" Alfred said, noticing Arthur's trouble and just oh so casually letting their hands brush as he took the corner of the page from under him and turned it.
The photo on the next page was Alfred lying on his back, Hero on his chest and both of them looking at the camera which was low to the ground, right at a level with them. Alfred's smile was practically blinding, and made Arthur want to weep with joy. And even the most hardened of hearts would have to admit that the cat was smiling, too.
"Have you read Darwin's 'Expression of Emotion in Man and Animals?'" Alfred asked out of the blue.
"No, I haven't actually," Arthur admitted, feeling suddenly icnredibly stupid despite his PHD.
"The guy just gets it. I mean this is Darwin we're talking about. Mr. Natural World. You'd think he'd be like 'No, no, animals just evolve to react certain ways to get the desired result, and they don't actually have human emotions. But no; he was like 'Uh, yeah, pets can fucking smile, stupid!'" He alughed and Arthur found himself chuckling along.
Alfred sent him a stare and then a bright grin when he heard the sound. And rather than feeling more self-conscious Arthur felt his body melt down into a loose and comfortable puddle of relaxation and easy self-confidence.
He must be bewitched because this was not like him.
Alfred nodded back to the album and smiled to himself at the sight of Hero frolicking in the big photo on the next page. "Hero's like...my Buck. Or my Old Yeller, or something." He laughed loud and hard, and Arthur just let himself enjoy the sound and the sight without worrying that he would fall and trip over that crush that was well on its way to growing. "Hahaha! I think Hero would actually on a bear for me. Not because he's brave, just because he'd be trying to play! Haha!"
He turned to Arthur and gave him a slap on the shoulder, which Arthur didn't even mind. "Basically, what I'm saying is, I think it's awesome you're here with Crumpet. I want to help you take the perfect photos you can hang up and enjoy forever - so you can show people in the future to make them see the real personality behind the furry face, and make them wish they'd known him. You don't have to worry about what I think of you. I think you're...awesome!"
And it definitely wasn't Arthur's imagination - because that had shut down when it became apparent Arthur didn't need it to make Alfred seem perfect. the man was just actually blushing at him. Like...you'd blush at a person you like if you got up the courage to compliment them.
What the hell was even happening today?! The whole world had turned upside down when Arthur decided to do something crazy and have a photo shoot with his cat.
"So do you wanna...get back to it?" Alfred asked shyly, nodding his head towards the white screens and the camera left on the ground. "Crumpet looks a little bored. I know you were nervous, but he was totally loving the attention. He's such a little poser!"
Arthur nodded and hurried back over to Crumpet, stroking him soundly and willing the blush from his face.
Alfred was kind of glad Arthur didn't manage it, because he could have photographed Arthur's pink cheeks and soft, shy smile and sparkling emerald eyes forever.
In fact, he fully intended to do just that.