Why I Write What I Write [Series]
This is going to be a potentially triggering, potentially TMI post, and I apologize for that in advance. But it is what it is, and you've been warned?
You know how spanking has been a kink of mine for basically ever? Yeah. So has slavery. It ties in to the powerlessness and submission, I'm sure. It turns me on. As soon as I was old enough to know what sex was, sex filtered in to those fantasies with the spanking and slavery, and obviously, it was dub-con at best. (Someday if you get me really drunk, ask about the snowflake story.)
These days, I'm really interested in D/s 'verses, which can imply varying levels of consent, fic specifically about consent play, and fic that examines the aftermath of sexual trauma. Of course, I'm always into slavery fic, just because it's one of my kinks.
Rape or ravishment fantasies are really common among women, so I don't feel much of a need to justify them. I do feel a need to ward off any potential sex-negative jackasses and state that yes, for the record, I am fully aware that actual rape, slavery, or even 24/7 TPE lifestyles do not bear much resemblance to these fantasies and the eroticization of non-consent.
Like many women, I have been on the receiving end of unwanted sexual contact. I was sexually active at a very young age; my first experiences were with a man in his forties. I've also had trouble asserting myself and removing myself form uncomfortable situations before they got out of control. Those aren't happy stories or things I'm proud of. I've struggled for years to reconcile them with my fantasies.
But that's exactly the point. The things I write are fantasies. They are romanticized, eroticized fiction, about things that never happened to people who never existed. And I'm okay with that.
In my writing and my life, I'm going to continue to explore the meanings and layers of trust and consent, because those are things that fascinate me and I like to take them out and play with them and take them apart to see how they work. And I'm okay with that. If you're not, you don't have to read the edgier stuff I may turn out. :) Isn't freedom of choice a wonderful thing?
If you're confused and concerned about how this works in real life, I'm going to point you to the marvelous Equilateral, a fic pairing Clint Barton and Phil Coulson from the Marvel Cinematic Universe and examining consent play among partners in a committed relationship. I loved reading it because every fiber of my being was screaming that it was exactly how that conversation needs to play out and go down. (Warning: if you go on in the series, there is explicit mention of past abuse and suicidal themes. It's not unbearable by any means, but it is something you should be prepared to read!)
You know how spanking has been a kink of mine for basically ever? Yeah. So has slavery. It ties in to the powerlessness and submission, I'm sure. It turns me on. As soon as I was old enough to know what sex was, sex filtered in to those fantasies with the spanking and slavery, and obviously, it was dub-con at best. (Someday if you get me really drunk, ask about the snowflake story.)
These days, I'm really interested in D/s 'verses, which can imply varying levels of consent, fic specifically about consent play, and fic that examines the aftermath of sexual trauma. Of course, I'm always into slavery fic, just because it's one of my kinks.
Rape or ravishment fantasies are really common among women, so I don't feel much of a need to justify them. I do feel a need to ward off any potential sex-negative jackasses and state that yes, for the record, I am fully aware that actual rape, slavery, or even 24/7 TPE lifestyles do not bear much resemblance to these fantasies and the eroticization of non-consent.
Like many women, I have been on the receiving end of unwanted sexual contact. I was sexually active at a very young age; my first experiences were with a man in his forties. I've also had trouble asserting myself and removing myself form uncomfortable situations before they got out of control. Those aren't happy stories or things I'm proud of. I've struggled for years to reconcile them with my fantasies.
But that's exactly the point. The things I write are fantasies. They are romanticized, eroticized fiction, about things that never happened to people who never existed. And I'm okay with that.
In my writing and my life, I'm going to continue to explore the meanings and layers of trust and consent, because those are things that fascinate me and I like to take them out and play with them and take them apart to see how they work. And I'm okay with that. If you're not, you don't have to read the edgier stuff I may turn out. :) Isn't freedom of choice a wonderful thing?
If you're confused and concerned about how this works in real life, I'm going to point you to the marvelous Equilateral, a fic pairing Clint Barton and Phil Coulson from the Marvel Cinematic Universe and examining consent play among partners in a committed relationship. I loved reading it because every fiber of my being was screaming that it was exactly how that conversation needs to play out and go down. (Warning: if you go on in the series, there is explicit mention of past abuse and suicidal themes. It's not unbearable by any means, but it is something you should be prepared to read!)