I was pretty much in the same boat. The only difference was with me, I wouldn't say I was strong in my faith, but rather I wanted to be, because it was all I knew growing up. I tried to believe from the start, but something was always off for me
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We all want to be tied together by something larger than us. It is utter crap, however, to let that yearning oppress you and make you feel ashamed of who you naturally are. I haven't gone through the same thing as you, but your faith must be one that makes you a better person, and doesn't drive you to be disappointed in yourself or others based. I am very happy for you to be taking this path to self discovery with the environment that you grew up in and all. I love you! :)
I was there too, though it's hard to believe with my sarcastic self, I was a very strong believer myself once. I'd pray every night. I lost all my faith in everything God, but a lot of people find their own rights and wrongs. Everyone needs to follow what their heart feels is right, many people don't ever get to that point because it takes questioning all the things that made us feel comfortable and safe. I know it's hard right now, but it will get easier, and once you listen to your heart and let go of the things others insist is the case, I think you will be more at peace with yourself. I also think it's a very brave thing to do. It will all be ok.
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it's not the praying im stopping... it's the institution of christianity.
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