[sixteen]
[This is ridiculous. Our biggest problem is that we don't have any problems. We're compatible in just about every way to the point that we're just about perfect together. It's enough to make me laugh; in fact, I am laughing while I type this.
What are the odds? Leave it to Seiichi and me to screw up screwing up. We really can't do anything right. I wonder if there's any articles out there aimed toward couples like us...
I feel good - calm, at peace. Secure. Something died in me the other night, something I've tried to kill for years, but now it's passed away peacefully, in its sleep no less. Without his shadow blocking out the sun, I can finally grow again. I have high hopes for him, that my absence will allow him to find the person he truly is as well as the person he wants to be. He'll come back to me one day when he's ready to be himself again and we'll work together then to find ourselves a place.
I waited for you, Bunta. I waited for as long as I could but I can't spend my whole life waiting for you. I have to live. We both have to live. There's still so much I want to say to you, things I couldn't say before. Things Agent Tachibana will have the strength to say to you that An does not. Things that Marui might listen to that Bunta would not.
I couldn't give you An, no matter how much I wanted to. An belongs to someone else, has always belonged to someone else, and she's sorry it took her this long to realize it.
When you come back to me, I want to be ready. I don't know when that will be but I'll train hard for that day and next time, I'll be ready to be Sis.
So much to work on... It's a good thing I have such a great therapist. I think I'll write him a thank you note and send it along with a batch of cookies. ♥]