That was the day, when ...
He was so lost. He didn't want to live anymore. Not without the person who he loved so much. It was so hard to wake up in an empty bed, in an empty room in their apartment. It happened two years ago but it was still so hard to open his eyes and to see nobody was next to him. He was not himself anymore since that day.
It was raining outside and they were planning to spend the night together ...
- Stop it, I'm ticklish. - said Chris, tears already wet his face and laughing with his arms wrapped around his stomach.
- But you're so adorable right now. I just can't stop hearing you're voice when you laughing, babe. - and Darren continued to tickle his boyfriend who was still trying to escape from Darren's hands.
- But you're going to kill me.
- Ok, I'll stop, I don't want to kill you, I love you so much. - said the curly haired boy and gave Chris a hand to help him stand up and they sat on the couch, arms wrapped around each other's waist.
- Thanks, and I love you too. - sighed Chris, he finally calmed down after the laughing attack and gave the older boy a soft peck on the lips.
Darren touched his lips. He still could feel it. He still could feel Chris.
- I planned to make something to dinner. Have we got anything here? I want to make something delicious and maybe some cupcakes, I know you love them. - asked Chris while he went to the kitchen.
- I think we haven't got everything to make cupcakes. Do you want me to go to the shop?
- No, I'll go. Until I'll got home you can make pasta. Do you mind if we're going to eat spaghetti. You know, with my secret sauce. - smiled Chris, he knew Darren loved his sauce.
- Ok, I'll make the pasta, but hurry babe, I'm going to miss you. - said Darren and hugged Chris from behind and kissed his neck right belove his earlobe where was his sweet sensitive spot.
- Don't worry, I'll be right back, just a few minutes. - Chris walked out and Darren started to boil the water.
“It's all my fault. He would be here right now if I would have told him not to make those fucking cupcakes.” thought Darren and he was about to cry again. He cried every single day. If someone mentioned Chris's name tears came to his eyes and he couldn't handle it. And today was way too hard because it was the day when Chris died. The day when he lost his love, his best friend, the sense of his life, everything he had.
Chris was nowhere. The pasta was already boiled and Darren even set the table. He started to worry, it was almost half and hour ago when Chris went out. What if something bad happened? What if...
But a phone call cut his mind off. He almost flew across the room and pick up the phone.
- Yes, I'm Darren … what? … I-I … no it couldn't … yes he is and … but … where is he? … yeah I'll be right there … ok just please don't let him go - he was shocked. He didn't even pulled on a jacket or a shoes just run out and made his way to the hospital.
A person who drove too fast hit Chris. The young actor was about to make his was home. His light was green but the driver's was red. That bastard was drunk and it was already a little dark and a lot rainy outside.
A few hours later a doctor come out from Chris's room to meet Darren.
- Are you Darren Criss, right? - asked the doctor and held out a hand for him.
- Yes, where's is Chris? How is he? Is he alive? - Darren didn't take the hand just stand impatiently, he worried that maybe he never get a chance to see his boyfriend again.
- He's dying. You can go and see him but I'm sorry, he was hit on his head very seriously and we have to reanimate him twice. Maybe he's got one or two days. I sorry, Mr. Criss. We can't do anything more. - and the doctor leave him with that.
A nurse let him in Chris's room. When he saw him his heart broke into so many pieces. He looked awful, full with bruises and his head was tied up.
- Chris? I'm right here, hon, right h-here... - he started to cry when Chris searched after his hand and took him next to him to sit down onto his bed. They sat like that for several minutes then Chris opened his eyes slowly.
- I … I love you … - whispered Chris. That was the only thing he could say right now. First because he was in so much pain and it was hard to speak, second he knew he's going to die and he wanted to tell Darren that he love him more than anything in his whole life. - I … I love you so m … much.
- I love you too, I love you and I love you forever and we are going to get old together. You will recover and we will going home and I will never let you out again. Never.
- I'm dy-dying Darr-ren. - his breath started to get heavy and his heart pounded quickly. He was crying.
- Shh … you will be ok … I … - he couldn't finish the answer, they just crawled up together on the bed. Chris was shaking, Darren was rocking their body back and forth, patted on Chris's back and hold him as tight as possible.
After a few minutes Chris's body calmed down. But it wasn't a good sign because his heart stopped. Darren panicked. He started to shake the young boy's body and called his name. He was crying even more and screaming for a nurse or a doctor or anybody.
That was over. That was the last moment when he held Chris.
When the doctor said that he is dead, Darren just asked to let him stay there for a couple minutes. He laid down next to Chris and held him in his arms. He couldn't stop crying,He wanted to fall asleep next to the men he loved so much it hurts and didn't wake up anymore.
He went to the cemetery to Chris's grace. The rain wet his clothes but he didn't care. He told Chris he couldn't live without him, he told him he loved him, he told him he dreamed about him every single day, but he knew Chris didn't hear him. He just sat there for hours, totally soaked and fell asleep. In his dream for the first time Chris was nowhere. Chris was gone. That was the day when he realized it. But he didn't want to live with that. He got up, got into his car and started driving. Tears falling down his cheeks, road wet with rain, and suddenly a car appeared in front of him. He didn't pull away, he just imagined Chris's face, his smile and then everything went dark. He died of his injuries immediately.
Now that was the day when Darren and Chris died. At that moment Darren didn't even think about any other way or to survive, he wanted nothing more just to die and hoped he will be with Chris again. If there's a heaven Chris certainly is there and Darren hoped he will be there too, next to Chris.
If there's a heaven he will see Chris soon. If there's a heaven than there's a God too. But if God exist then why did he kill Chris? Why did he let Chris and him die? Why let him suffer through two years? There were a lot of question but these did not count now. He just hoped if God exist he will see his boyfriend and they will be together.
Nobody knows what happened after that. Maybe they are already together now. If God or heaven exist...