(no subject)
The following has been floating around in some other people's journals. So I apologize for stealing this, but it really hits home.
Read this if you really want to know what's it like being gay in America.
***What people don’t seem to understand about being gay is that you not only have to come out to everyone else but you have to come out to yourself.
Getting other people to accept you is only half the battle, if that.
It’s about looking yourself in the mirror and accepting that you will never have a normal life, knowing how much harder everything will be but doing it anyways because you feel you have no choice.
It’s about growing up hearing fairytales about princesses, princes and white weddings, knowing you will never have one (not a regular one anyways), maybe you’ll find some sub version but it will never be the 'normal way' and it will certainly be much more difficult.
It’s knowing that you will never be able to have a 'normal' family.
It’s knowing that you and your loved one will never be able to simply create a child out of your passion for one another.
It’s knowing that if you do choose to start a family, it will not be easy. Not the beginning, not the middle, not the end...
Not that starting any family is easy but for you, starting a family will have many extra built in obstacles.
It's knowing that you will only have a mere 5% of the population to work with... dating wise.
It's knowing you will often be playing a guessing game of who's queer and who's just friendly.
It’s also knowing the discrimination you will face, not just at home or at work but everywhere.
You don't have to be beaten up and left for dead to face prejudice.
It will be harder for you to have close friends, you will have to worry about them accepting you.
You will have to come out over and over and over again.
Unless you are on MTV’s “The Real World” or some shit that outs you to the world...
Sometimes I think that might even be easier, to walk around with a sign on your forehead that says “I’m Gay” so that you would just know from the get go who will care and who won't.
But then again you wouldn’t want to be judged as a person based solely on your sexual orientation...
So there really is no simple solution.
It’s knowing how much you will struggle.
But also knowing the amazing feeling you obtain from your same sex partner.
Knowing how wonderful it felt the first time, how different it was from your experience with heterosexual acts.
How being with other queers was so great at first, made you feel not so alone.
How lying in bed with your partner... just felt like home.
So when I hear people say shit like this to my friends and I, I get pissy. “But your family won’t care" , "You don’t talk to your family anyways" , or "We have Will & Grace now so why is it still such a big deal to you?” This is why.
It’s not just a sexual orientation, it’s a way of life.
It’s a part of you.
And it will affect many aspects of your life not just who you go to bed with.***
Read this if you really want to know what's it like being gay in America.
***What people don’t seem to understand about being gay is that you not only have to come out to everyone else but you have to come out to yourself.
Getting other people to accept you is only half the battle, if that.
It’s about looking yourself in the mirror and accepting that you will never have a normal life, knowing how much harder everything will be but doing it anyways because you feel you have no choice.
It’s about growing up hearing fairytales about princesses, princes and white weddings, knowing you will never have one (not a regular one anyways), maybe you’ll find some sub version but it will never be the 'normal way' and it will certainly be much more difficult.
It’s knowing that you will never be able to have a 'normal' family.
It’s knowing that you and your loved one will never be able to simply create a child out of your passion for one another.
It’s knowing that if you do choose to start a family, it will not be easy. Not the beginning, not the middle, not the end...
Not that starting any family is easy but for you, starting a family will have many extra built in obstacles.
It's knowing that you will only have a mere 5% of the population to work with... dating wise.
It's knowing you will often be playing a guessing game of who's queer and who's just friendly.
It’s also knowing the discrimination you will face, not just at home or at work but everywhere.
You don't have to be beaten up and left for dead to face prejudice.
It will be harder for you to have close friends, you will have to worry about them accepting you.
You will have to come out over and over and over again.
Unless you are on MTV’s “The Real World” or some shit that outs you to the world...
Sometimes I think that might even be easier, to walk around with a sign on your forehead that says “I’m Gay” so that you would just know from the get go who will care and who won't.
But then again you wouldn’t want to be judged as a person based solely on your sexual orientation...
So there really is no simple solution.
It’s knowing how much you will struggle.
But also knowing the amazing feeling you obtain from your same sex partner.
Knowing how wonderful it felt the first time, how different it was from your experience with heterosexual acts.
How being with other queers was so great at first, made you feel not so alone.
How lying in bed with your partner... just felt like home.
So when I hear people say shit like this to my friends and I, I get pissy. “But your family won’t care" , "You don’t talk to your family anyways" , or "We have Will & Grace now so why is it still such a big deal to you?” This is why.
It’s not just a sexual orientation, it’s a way of life.
It’s a part of you.
And it will affect many aspects of your life not just who you go to bed with.***