The Good, The Bad and the Year of the Boar
This time of year everyone starts doing like Year Reviews, all my website I visit Regularly are and I think that I kind of need to do one for what’s happened in my life this year. So here it is!
Going to start off with the Bad because by the end of this I really want to be focusing on the Good.
-Louises Passing - Top of my list of Utterly Soul Destroying Badness is the obvious. Lous passing has effected me in a way that has possibly changed my entire life Forever. Will Certainly make me feel very different on Halloween. Since it happened I have felt pretty much nothing but sadness and lonely, I know people have been there (Much more on that later) but no-one is my Lou, no-one can fill the huge hole in me that she occucpied inside me. I know she is still with me, but I miss her physically being here, she has got me through some of the Hardest Stages of my life and with Harder to come its going to be harder to cope…
-On Me Tod - Second on the list of Utterly Soul Destorying Badness is also fairly Obvious. Daim leaving me, Funnily enough I felt the need to do this Today because it would have been 5 years today and I’m feeling very nostalgic about what I’ve loved and lost and this year I’ve lost my two Ladies who have been so Special to me and my life. This year broke me and I was alone, I had pretty much begged her to see through the Gig season and things would have been different then cause I wouldn’t have been so alone. I had to be strong and I had no-one to comfort me in my long hours of need and I know that this has also changed me and I will admit it almost Destroyed me. However I know that all that is my own fault, it is my own failings that led there. I have hopefully learned from all that and won’t fuck up quite so bad next time (if there even is a next time!)
-Two Words, Then Four words. Constant Motion, The Dark Eternal Night - Thankfully we are off the Utterly Soul Destroying Badness cause if there was any more of THAT then I wouldn’t be here to type this list! Why are two songs off Dream Theaters newest Album Third on my list of the year’s badness?? Answer - Cause they BLOW ASS!! Constant Motion is remotely Bearable in a I Wish It Was Over But Still kind of way, I am amused thanks to Pete with his Misheard Lyric - “Apocalyptic, I’m LaBrie!” But the song still sucks. Then we have the Dark Eternal Night (Which for the rest of this Passage will be known as NADS. What is good about the song?? The Middle Instrumental Section has some very cool crazy Proggy bits, that’s good. What’s Bad??? EVERYTHING else. The song just makes me shudder with sadness, anger and Why JP Why?!?!? The best thing about them playing it live was the NADS video that plays during the song, I will admit that the Video as Absolutely AWESOME (And I am In Fact wearing the NADS T-shirt right now, Hate the song but Love the Vid!)
-Fucking Americans!! - I will admit the Americans as a Country Annoy the CRAP out of me. I know that there are some Incredible Americans out there who I am very good friends with and that pretty much all my fave bands are American but I dislike America for the Shit it brings onto the rest of the world then pretends that its all OUR fault. The politics side DOES annoy me (Shocking that I have ANY Political side but I do!) However why do I REALLY Dislike them? … Alien Vs Predator 2: Requiem. I hear cries of… what?!?!?! Those who know me know I am a HUGE Alien Fan, I have the Queen Alien looking at me right now, I have a Full Size Facehugger behind me. I have Headknockers, I have Limited Edition crap, I have the Books, I have the Extended Cuts of the films bought Day of Release and We Brits DON’T have AvP2 until next month… The Americans have had it 3 days… Only other Alien Fans will understand how much that GRATES on the Nerves… Fucking Americans!!
-No Series 7 Preview on 24 DVD for Brits - Hey guess what?! FUCKING AMERICANS!!!! They get it, but we don’t… How is that fair?!? Series One was not liked by the Americans until near the end, Internationally it was Embraced very quickly, we LOVED it, Hell BBC2 had shows on AFTER each episode to talk about what went on and the peoples who were on the show we watching the show and finding out about what happened WHILE we were. I remember the show that Aired after the last Episode of the first series all the presenters and guests were all sitting there, mouths open wide with a look of “Oh My God!!” which was how WE were, you don’t get that kind of thing from people who are not passionate about the show, and for them to not give us the Preview is a Stab in the back, we’ve never had any of the damn previews and I’m sorry but I think we are worth it dammit!!
-How much I’ve had to whinge about this year - I know, I know I suck but sometimes you’ve got to tell it as it is, and I blame the Americans for most of my Woes this year ;) Ya Bastards!!
The Good, is there any good? There is, and I’ll admit most of it is from the beginning part of the year but there is some good that has come from the end part of the year.
-Gigs - Oh yes, this year really has been an INCREDIBLE year for Gigs, Unfortunately quite a few of them were ruined for me in the finish but fucking off the Pre-post gig shit the gigs were Incredible. My fave gig this year for the ENTIRE experience is Dream Theater the first time in Newcastle. Everything about that gig was just perfect, and I think that it is probably the best few days I’ve had this year, it felt like a mini-Uber Holiday, I felt so relaxed and joyful after that gig experience, then we had Rush which was Hella cool, Dream Theater another two times, Wolverhampton holding a Special Place and Blackburn being so Entertaining, to finish the year Gary Moore. The last three gigs were the day after each other (DT Sat, DT Sun, Gary Mon) so it was an Incredibly taxing experience but one that I mostly loved, the gigs themselves were Utterly incredible.
-Meeting Dream Theater - It feels like a Dream now (hahah, Puns!), meeting Dream Theaters definitely ranks highly in my Life Moments, I wish it could have been at Newcastle instead of Wolves cause of the forerunning events but as an isolated Event meeting my Heroes and yes, my Gods was something that was just, well, Incredible. Having JP say Hi and ask me how I’m doing when going for the photo and having Jordan and Mike mess about was awesome, then giving Mike the Severed Head demo and having a talk to JP about his guitar and shaking his hand was just… something else. Oh and hearing John Myung speak, that was something I will NEVER forget!
-The Other Best Band in the WORLD - Severed Head mwhahah! This year has been a year of ups and downs for us. We started this year in a kind of low. We had no vocals on any of our tracks, we had no drummer, we were literally Guitarist and Keyboard player. However a Shining Light appeared in the form of a Drummer named Dene who has without a Doubt changed the course of the band, we are happy and working again, we still have no Vocalist but we do have a track WITH Vocals thanks to Miss Georgia and we have the possibility of Gigging in the new year which is a Very exciting prospect!
-Computer Games of JOY! - Oh dear LORDS! A new Settlers game that feels like the OLD games, Half Life 2: Episode 2 with Portal and Unreal Tournament 3 and TWO Issues for City of Heroes that were HUGE (Invasion was so COOL!). That’s All I can say on this before bursting into Tears of Joy heh.
-Peavey Triple X - Its porn for the ears! It sounds so damned good, its beefy, it’s Heavy, its also beautiful and rounded. Very awesome!
-Now the big two, the Important two, the two things that have been so fucking Huge that I cannot express them properly. The first one is something that some people will feel funny about but it is important to me and that is that this year, through all the fucking Shit I’ve been though I have not Cut at all. Some people I am sure are going, and? What’s so special about that? Let me explain, some people cut to feel better, some because they don’t feel they should be happy and I cut for both, for a while it was the only thing that made me feel better but it was a punishment because I did not deserve to feel better which really threw me all over the place, I was in a very dark place 5 years ago and I had managed to do really well, I slipped and I know it, I have never made excuses for it but I have always needed and wanted it and this year I have never wanted it more. And I mean NEVER wanted it more, but I sit here on this day New-Scar free. I have been close, I have been way too close but there is nothing. I am proud of that, I know I shouldn’t be but I am and those people who have been there know why, nor have I cracked and started Drinking again, but both things I knew that if I started that would be it, I would never be able to stop again. I do have quite a strong Addictive Personality and I have been through too much.
-The last one is the most important thing in my life. My Friends. I know I do not have many but the ones I have are incredible and so, so important to me. Dan, James, Mark, Marv, Rich, Georgia, Dene, Tracey, Pete and especially Daim, you guys and girls are all awesome and I know I could not have got through this year without you. There are two people who I really do owe my life too this year, Becky and Kirsty, Becky was the person who was there for me when everything went bad, she was the closest thing I had to a Rock when my life took a very sudden turn downwards and then Kirsty who has been there for me and has helped so much in keeping me on track now in the aftermath. I seriously love you both so much, while I have breath in my Body I will do everything I can for both of you (and ANY of my friends, you are all special and I do love you all in none gay-ways!)
Long post eh? Doesn’t happen very often anymore but there you go. Take care everyone okay, and I will most definitely see you all next year. I’m still here, thanks to you guys I’m here so if you get fed up with me blame yourselves! ;)
Hope everyones had a great Christmas, I hope to see some more peoples Reviews of the year!
May the Year of the Rat (Which I am one of you know!) bring you all Joy and Happiness
Going to start off with the Bad because by the end of this I really want to be focusing on the Good.
-Louises Passing - Top of my list of Utterly Soul Destroying Badness is the obvious. Lous passing has effected me in a way that has possibly changed my entire life Forever. Will Certainly make me feel very different on Halloween. Since it happened I have felt pretty much nothing but sadness and lonely, I know people have been there (Much more on that later) but no-one is my Lou, no-one can fill the huge hole in me that she occucpied inside me. I know she is still with me, but I miss her physically being here, she has got me through some of the Hardest Stages of my life and with Harder to come its going to be harder to cope…
-On Me Tod - Second on the list of Utterly Soul Destorying Badness is also fairly Obvious. Daim leaving me, Funnily enough I felt the need to do this Today because it would have been 5 years today and I’m feeling very nostalgic about what I’ve loved and lost and this year I’ve lost my two Ladies who have been so Special to me and my life. This year broke me and I was alone, I had pretty much begged her to see through the Gig season and things would have been different then cause I wouldn’t have been so alone. I had to be strong and I had no-one to comfort me in my long hours of need and I know that this has also changed me and I will admit it almost Destroyed me. However I know that all that is my own fault, it is my own failings that led there. I have hopefully learned from all that and won’t fuck up quite so bad next time (if there even is a next time!)
-Two Words, Then Four words. Constant Motion, The Dark Eternal Night - Thankfully we are off the Utterly Soul Destroying Badness cause if there was any more of THAT then I wouldn’t be here to type this list! Why are two songs off Dream Theaters newest Album Third on my list of the year’s badness?? Answer - Cause they BLOW ASS!! Constant Motion is remotely Bearable in a I Wish It Was Over But Still kind of way, I am amused thanks to Pete with his Misheard Lyric - “Apocalyptic, I’m LaBrie!” But the song still sucks. Then we have the Dark Eternal Night (Which for the rest of this Passage will be known as NADS. What is good about the song?? The Middle Instrumental Section has some very cool crazy Proggy bits, that’s good. What’s Bad??? EVERYTHING else. The song just makes me shudder with sadness, anger and Why JP Why?!?!? The best thing about them playing it live was the NADS video that plays during the song, I will admit that the Video as Absolutely AWESOME (And I am In Fact wearing the NADS T-shirt right now, Hate the song but Love the Vid!)
-Fucking Americans!! - I will admit the Americans as a Country Annoy the CRAP out of me. I know that there are some Incredible Americans out there who I am very good friends with and that pretty much all my fave bands are American but I dislike America for the Shit it brings onto the rest of the world then pretends that its all OUR fault. The politics side DOES annoy me (Shocking that I have ANY Political side but I do!) However why do I REALLY Dislike them? … Alien Vs Predator 2: Requiem. I hear cries of… what?!?!?! Those who know me know I am a HUGE Alien Fan, I have the Queen Alien looking at me right now, I have a Full Size Facehugger behind me. I have Headknockers, I have Limited Edition crap, I have the Books, I have the Extended Cuts of the films bought Day of Release and We Brits DON’T have AvP2 until next month… The Americans have had it 3 days… Only other Alien Fans will understand how much that GRATES on the Nerves… Fucking Americans!!
-No Series 7 Preview on 24 DVD for Brits - Hey guess what?! FUCKING AMERICANS!!!! They get it, but we don’t… How is that fair?!? Series One was not liked by the Americans until near the end, Internationally it was Embraced very quickly, we LOVED it, Hell BBC2 had shows on AFTER each episode to talk about what went on and the peoples who were on the show we watching the show and finding out about what happened WHILE we were. I remember the show that Aired after the last Episode of the first series all the presenters and guests were all sitting there, mouths open wide with a look of “Oh My God!!” which was how WE were, you don’t get that kind of thing from people who are not passionate about the show, and for them to not give us the Preview is a Stab in the back, we’ve never had any of the damn previews and I’m sorry but I think we are worth it dammit!!
-How much I’ve had to whinge about this year - I know, I know I suck but sometimes you’ve got to tell it as it is, and I blame the Americans for most of my Woes this year ;) Ya Bastards!!
The Good, is there any good? There is, and I’ll admit most of it is from the beginning part of the year but there is some good that has come from the end part of the year.
-Gigs - Oh yes, this year really has been an INCREDIBLE year for Gigs, Unfortunately quite a few of them were ruined for me in the finish but fucking off the Pre-post gig shit the gigs were Incredible. My fave gig this year for the ENTIRE experience is Dream Theater the first time in Newcastle. Everything about that gig was just perfect, and I think that it is probably the best few days I’ve had this year, it felt like a mini-Uber Holiday, I felt so relaxed and joyful after that gig experience, then we had Rush which was Hella cool, Dream Theater another two times, Wolverhampton holding a Special Place and Blackburn being so Entertaining, to finish the year Gary Moore. The last three gigs were the day after each other (DT Sat, DT Sun, Gary Mon) so it was an Incredibly taxing experience but one that I mostly loved, the gigs themselves were Utterly incredible.
-Meeting Dream Theater - It feels like a Dream now (hahah, Puns!), meeting Dream Theaters definitely ranks highly in my Life Moments, I wish it could have been at Newcastle instead of Wolves cause of the forerunning events but as an isolated Event meeting my Heroes and yes, my Gods was something that was just, well, Incredible. Having JP say Hi and ask me how I’m doing when going for the photo and having Jordan and Mike mess about was awesome, then giving Mike the Severed Head demo and having a talk to JP about his guitar and shaking his hand was just… something else. Oh and hearing John Myung speak, that was something I will NEVER forget!
-The Other Best Band in the WORLD - Severed Head mwhahah! This year has been a year of ups and downs for us. We started this year in a kind of low. We had no vocals on any of our tracks, we had no drummer, we were literally Guitarist and Keyboard player. However a Shining Light appeared in the form of a Drummer named Dene who has without a Doubt changed the course of the band, we are happy and working again, we still have no Vocalist but we do have a track WITH Vocals thanks to Miss Georgia and we have the possibility of Gigging in the new year which is a Very exciting prospect!
-Computer Games of JOY! - Oh dear LORDS! A new Settlers game that feels like the OLD games, Half Life 2: Episode 2 with Portal and Unreal Tournament 3 and TWO Issues for City of Heroes that were HUGE (Invasion was so COOL!). That’s All I can say on this before bursting into Tears of Joy heh.
-Peavey Triple X - Its porn for the ears! It sounds so damned good, its beefy, it’s Heavy, its also beautiful and rounded. Very awesome!
-Now the big two, the Important two, the two things that have been so fucking Huge that I cannot express them properly. The first one is something that some people will feel funny about but it is important to me and that is that this year, through all the fucking Shit I’ve been though I have not Cut at all. Some people I am sure are going, and? What’s so special about that? Let me explain, some people cut to feel better, some because they don’t feel they should be happy and I cut for both, for a while it was the only thing that made me feel better but it was a punishment because I did not deserve to feel better which really threw me all over the place, I was in a very dark place 5 years ago and I had managed to do really well, I slipped and I know it, I have never made excuses for it but I have always needed and wanted it and this year I have never wanted it more. And I mean NEVER wanted it more, but I sit here on this day New-Scar free. I have been close, I have been way too close but there is nothing. I am proud of that, I know I shouldn’t be but I am and those people who have been there know why, nor have I cracked and started Drinking again, but both things I knew that if I started that would be it, I would never be able to stop again. I do have quite a strong Addictive Personality and I have been through too much.
-The last one is the most important thing in my life. My Friends. I know I do not have many but the ones I have are incredible and so, so important to me. Dan, James, Mark, Marv, Rich, Georgia, Dene, Tracey, Pete and especially Daim, you guys and girls are all awesome and I know I could not have got through this year without you. There are two people who I really do owe my life too this year, Becky and Kirsty, Becky was the person who was there for me when everything went bad, she was the closest thing I had to a Rock when my life took a very sudden turn downwards and then Kirsty who has been there for me and has helped so much in keeping me on track now in the aftermath. I seriously love you both so much, while I have breath in my Body I will do everything I can for both of you (and ANY of my friends, you are all special and I do love you all in none gay-ways!)
Long post eh? Doesn’t happen very often anymore but there you go. Take care everyone okay, and I will most definitely see you all next year. I’m still here, thanks to you guys I’m here so if you get fed up with me blame yourselves! ;)
Hope everyones had a great Christmas, I hope to see some more peoples Reviews of the year!
May the Year of the Rat (Which I am one of you know!) bring you all Joy and Happiness