I have to be honest (and I say this having not seen the conversation in question, largely going on my experiences having these kinds of discussions here) that instead of kneejerk saying "I'm not transphobic", maybe step back and examine what you said that could have been read that way?
The only reason I say this is because no one wants to consider themselves as being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic etc, but sometimes we do say stupid things or have internalized opinions. Kneejerk "but I'm not!!!!" reactions will never let anyone actually examine their behavior and see what's hurtful there, because regardless as to what anyone else things, it did hurt someone
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Yeah. I did have to go back and see what it was I wrote. Normally I take a long time to write out anything that I feel is especially important. That way I can avoid having to deal with anyone thinking that what I'm saying is specifically geared towards them.
While I said nothing directly that alluded to me being transphobic, I can understand that someone either specifically digging for that outcome or just reading too much into it (rather than taking it at face value as it was meant to be interpreted) would have gotten that impression. It's a two-way street with that kind of communication, especially through text.
If a misinterpretation happens it's not a 'right' or a 'wrong', I've noticed, but that there's a lack of explanation. I wasn't one hundred percent clear on it, and I admitted it right upfront. I was met with nothing other than an ongoing barrage that melted down to, "everything I say is right and everything you say is wrong". And I got to a point where I was tired of having everything about what I had to say ripped apart
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It was a situation where I was talking about MTFs, misogyny, and the usage of vocabulary [by anyone] that does not specifically label someone a misogynist. Someone apparently assumed I thought [and publicly proclaimed] MTFs weren't female, even though I didn't say that at all, and I was labeled as transphobic.
Again. Never mind that I didn't say that. What can you do? You can't please everyone.
....that whole big long conversation was so freakin' dumb. WHY someone felt the need to link to some person completely outside of the game's current or past playerbase is totally beyond me. And I'd bet you a box of very expensive donuts the anon identifying as Trans and threatening to drop isn't part of the game to begin with either.
Sorry you wound up dealing with all that BS, buddy. Especially being you admitted what went wrong with the phrasing and apologised and geeze, still that's not good enough apparently.
It... really was. I feel like my entire point was overshadowed because someone made an assumption out of something else and wound up making themselves look rather stupid, especially when I wouldn't continue the fight.
Honestly, I spoke with a friend on it right after it all had happened and in the end, I have to sit with Kaos on this one. I'm sorry someone got offended, because that wasn't the intention, but I'm not sorry for what I said. I didn't say anything that was outright mean or cruel, sexist, or racist. In fact, I went out of my way to make sure nothing I said would come off that way.
My point remains valid. All I wanted was for them to acknowledge my point as valid, not this "my way is the only way" rubbish.
I'm actually more sorry for all of you guys. I mean, it was your thread and all. I wonder if I should have just stayed out of it. Curiosity killed the cat, I guess.
I'm not sure if it's immaturity. The reasoning and the subject matter is incredibly grey and it's controversial, so it's not possible to be in the subject and not be forced to take a side. It's a very lose-lose situation for anyone in it.
Defend yourself, look like an asshole. Don't defend yourself, you still look like an asshole.
They took something that had very little to do with my point (which was that using misogynistic words does not a misogynist make) and made it all about one thing that didn't even exist.
Now it just leaves me annoyed. But that's not immaturity. I don't know what it is; I just don't think it's immaturity.
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The only reason I say this is because no one wants to consider themselves as being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic etc, but sometimes we do say stupid things or have internalized opinions. Kneejerk "but I'm not!!!!" reactions will never let anyone actually examine their behavior and see what's hurtful there, because regardless as to what anyone else things, it did hurt someone ( ... )
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While I said nothing directly that alluded to me being transphobic, I can understand that someone either specifically digging for that outcome or just reading too much into it (rather than taking it at face value as it was meant to be interpreted) would have gotten that impression. It's a two-way street with that kind of communication, especially through text.
If a misinterpretation happens it's not a 'right' or a 'wrong', I've noticed, but that there's a lack of explanation. I wasn't one hundred percent clear on it, and I admitted it right upfront. I was met with nothing other than an ongoing barrage that melted down to, "everything I say is right and everything you say is wrong". And I got to a point where I was tired of having everything about what I had to say ripped apart ( ... )
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Again. Never mind that I didn't say that. What can you do? You can't please everyone.
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Sorry you wound up dealing with all that BS, buddy. Especially being you admitted what went wrong with the phrasing and apologised and geeze, still that's not good enough apparently.
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Honestly, I spoke with a friend on it right after it all had happened and in the end, I have to sit with Kaos on this one. I'm sorry someone got offended, because that wasn't the intention, but I'm not sorry for what I said. I didn't say anything that was outright mean or cruel, sexist, or racist. In fact, I went out of my way to make sure nothing I said would come off that way.
My point remains valid. All I wanted was for them to acknowledge my point as valid, not this "my way is the only way" rubbish.
I'm actually more sorry for all of you guys. I mean, it was your thread and all. I wonder if I should have just stayed out of it. Curiosity killed the cat, I guess.
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Defend yourself, look like an asshole. Don't defend yourself, you still look like an asshole.
They took something that had very little to do with my point (which was that using misogynistic words does not a misogynist make) and made it all about one thing that didn't even exist.
Now it just leaves me annoyed. But that's not immaturity. I don't know what it is; I just don't think it's immaturity.
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Is so totally mine when they said it.
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