Adam, my mom's husband, wants to help us keep the TO apartment. Brian hasn't gotten back to me yet, and I realize he may not be thrilled, but I think it's great!
It must be nice to feel that you can count on your mother and the man she's chosen to marry, especially knowing how badly your father let you down and she couldn't help you.
I'm not going to say what I think about Brian's reaction to Adam's offer, because I think you can guess.
I guess for now I'm compromising with myself. I'm ready to let the apartment go. I don't NEED it for my business, though I wanted it. Still do, but it's okay. It is seriously extravagant.
But I'd like to accept Adam's financial support in connection with my promotion of the gallery, or - I'm not sure exactly. I know I can accept his help without Brian's blessing, but I want him to say it's okay. Can you understand that? I want Brian to understand too. Understand why I want to accept the help.
I'm sure you were less than thrilled with how Brian treated me on our comm this afternoon. I was pissed too, but I do understand where he's coming from. Whenever I see you've posted, I feel badly for Brian, before I even read your remarks. Everybody else thought I was out of line or using bad judgment.
Well I am going to add my 2¢ too. What I am seeing is the same old problem with the two of you. You want Brian to talk to you about problems. He doesn't like to talk, he prefers to act. You do something or say something to get a reaction and he retreats. You get mad or upset, and eventually one of you offers an temporary olive branch and make up sex occurs but really you haven't resolved anything and so the problems just keep coming up again and again.
You both need to learn to communicate effectively to one another and to listen and when necessary compromise otherwise you are just going through life as separate entities. (communication goes two ways and you both really really suck at it).
Justin, you have had in the past and do have now, a family that is loving and caring and wants to help. Brian has never had nor does he understand that. That someone could offer help with no strings attached is something he doesn't "get". I could have bet all I owned on what his reaction would be and I was right but that doesn't excuse him belittling you and insinuating you have no pride, that was uncalled for. Why is it that you two cannot talk to each other? You both seem to react, reject and hurt, have neither of you heard of rational discussion and compromise. The same old lack of comunication rears its ugly head over and over again. I really hope you two can sort this out, you are both hurting each other so much. I think you both need to say "I'm sorry" and for fucks sake talk to each other but without anger and resentment.
We really do talk sometimes. We do. I mean, we don't post as often any more, and during the time away we're not always bickering, and we're not always avoiding shit either.
Brian was out of line with things he said, how he said them mostly. He really didn't understand what was going on with me, which surprised me, but I guess hardly anybody figured it out. It took me a while too.
Nothing is totally resolved, except that we are heading up to TO tonight, with Peter. We'll all work on breaking down the apartment, but we'll spend time with Gus too. I'm going to stay up there for the better part of the week and Brian will fly back with Peter Sunday night.
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I'm not going to say what I think about Brian's reaction to Adam's offer, because I think you can guess.
Perhaps there's room for compromise?
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I guess for now I'm compromising with myself. I'm ready to let the apartment go. I don't NEED it for my business, though I wanted it. Still do, but it's okay. It is seriously extravagant.
But I'd like to accept Adam's financial support in connection with my promotion of the gallery, or - I'm not sure exactly. I know I can accept his help without Brian's blessing, but I want him to say it's okay. Can you understand that? I want Brian to understand too. Understand why I want to accept the help.
I'm sure you were less than thrilled with how Brian treated me on our comm this afternoon. I was pissed too, but I do understand where he's coming from. Whenever I see you've posted, I feel badly for Brian, before I even read your remarks. Everybody else thought I was out of line or using bad judgment.
Reply
You both need to learn to communicate effectively to one another and to listen and when necessary compromise otherwise you are just going through life as separate entities.
(communication goes two ways and you both really really suck at it).
Reply
Reply
I could have bet all I owned on what his reaction would be and I was right but that doesn't excuse him belittling you and insinuating you have no pride, that was uncalled for.
Why is it that you two cannot talk to each other? You both seem to react, reject and hurt, have neither of you heard of rational discussion and compromise. The same old lack of comunication rears its ugly head over and over again.
I really hope you two can sort this out, you are both hurting each other so much.
I think you both need to say "I'm sorry" and for fucks sake talk to each other but without anger and resentment.
Reply
Brian was out of line with things he said, how he said them mostly. He really didn't understand what was going on with me, which surprised me, but I guess hardly anybody figured it out. It took me a while too.
Nothing is totally resolved, except that we are heading up to TO tonight, with Peter. We'll all work on breaking down the apartment, but we'll spend time with Gus too. I'm going to stay up there for the better part of the week and Brian will fly back with Peter Sunday night.
Thanks for caring.
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