Rant

[justmelil_d]

I've been feeling very antisocial lately. The only friend I can still talk to on the phone is Danielle. And even when we talk, I have this nervous energy in my gut that makes me want to end the conversation ASAP. It's like I'm terrified of having friends. I push so many people away all the time. I am scared to call Ava and hang out for coffee or a

Comments

[thats___amore]

we should hang out. and i'm NOT just saying that.
i miss your randomness, and your passion about EVERYTHING, and your creativity.

if it snows, WE ARE GOING SLEDDING. and if it doesn't, we are doing something anyway!

what's the best way to contact you? personally, i hate phones. always have. online? is it better to call and be like "get your ass out of bed! i'm coming over!" ?

&hearts

ps, i totally understand being anti-social. on every level, being around people is just EXHAUSTING sometimes. i think you have to know when isolating yourself is good for you (like time away) and when it's bad (ie- feeding into paranoias and making the anxiety and depression even worse)

you have so much going for you. you have so much potential, and you're such a blessing to me. i think you make people examine themselves way more than you realize. give yourself some credit. and DON'T GIVE UP. EVER!

[justmelil_d]

Thank you so much! I definitely needed to hear that. I hope it snows a lot so we can go sledding. I agree; we need to hang out. You really cheer me up. You're so positive and enlightening to be around. I think you better call and be like "get your ass outta bed!" That would get my attention the best.

[cruzanmutt]

you know i love you and when i need to talk you are the first i call and i am not going to let you get anti social cause god damnit i am perssitent. i also don't think you brake down makes you insane it was just something everyone goes thru i rember how i broke down over alex i lost it punched walls scared my hands for life i just hid it and yours was a bit more open oh dayna i love you so much and i am never going to ever juge you unless you become a striper named brownie waiteven then i won't juge i will be like hoe u stole my name lol love you

[justmelil_d]

Haha well good. We're cool then. My stripper name is Candy anyway.

[cruzanmutt]

mmm like candy blow jobs you know i have to try that now i just need a willing subject i mean partner..........keith

[justmelil_d]

lol Don't get too carried away, my lj is public.