Comments | justreadmyspine: Ilan's Birth Story

justreadmyspine

Ilan's Birth Story

Nov 15, 2009 16:00

In honor of Ilan's birthday tomorrow, I have decided to finally post my birth story, which I wrote in January and haven't looked at since. I don't know if many of you know, since I didn't talk about it much, but I had a very difficult delivery that I still have a hard time talking about. No one but me has read my birth story until now. I will ( Read more... )

birth story

Comments 14

solastsummer66 November 16 2009, 02:18:51 UTC

Wow, Bonnie. You have a right to be upset. To plan for months and then to have what is "supposed to be" one of the best moments of your life end up so traumatic... It's going to take anyone a while to get over that, if you even can really.

When you were pregnant/preparing for baby did you ever see that documentary by Ricki Lake "The Business of Being Born"?

justreadmyspine November 16 2009, 05:33:45 UTC

No, I never watched the documentary, but I heard a lot about it. I still want to see it, it sounds interesting.

rosemere_rat November 16 2009, 03:40:01 UTC

Holy Jesus on a pogo stick.

I dont have words.

I specifically sat here and read this for a reason though. And I am saving it so I can read it again, so I can count my blessings.

Damn.

My thoughts are with you.

justreadmyspine November 16 2009, 05:32:58 UTC

Thank you. It was rough, to say the least, but worth it. I understand not having words though. I still can barely even talk about it to this day, a year later.

:) ivyyyyy November 16 2009, 06:04:48 UTC

thats suckkkkssss i read through it all and i had a totally different ending in my mind! i thought for sure you would have been able to do it vaginally. congrats on being able to handle the pitocin so long! i only last 7 hours! but my water was already broken before i was put on it and i immediatley started having those damn horrible BACK contractions!

i have 2 questions.

whats QFC(reminds me KFC)
and why didnt you even want to TRY breastfeeding?!?!

Re: :) justreadmyspine November 16 2009, 06:08:43 UTC

QFC is a grocery store.

I can't really explain the breastfeeding thing. I think that breastfeeding is wonderful and great and all that, just not for me. I know this is really controversial and everyone is really opinionated on it, but I don't care, I'm not gunna lie about it - I just didn't want to. I fully believe that babies are just as healthy with formula. If I felt differently, I wouldn't have formula-fed my son. I think that working in the infant room at a daycare showed me that formula is not the devil like so many people make it out to be.

And yeah, I can't believe they kept me on the pitocin for so long. They got it up to 24!!! And then stopped it!!! And then started it again!!! Good lord :P

Re: :) ivyyyyy November 18 2009, 03:49:50 UTC

im not at all the person to say your wrong for doing what you did, i was just curious.
i just think boobies are for feeding babies lol.

and god pitocin sucked so bad...

Re: :) justreadmyspine November 18 2009, 04:43:10 UTC

Oh, I didn't think you would say anything negative about me not breastfeeding, I was just prefacing what I was saying with a warning because it's so controversial :P Also, I mentioned recently in november08 when I posted my birth story that I don't think I would've been able to breastfeed anyway because a) my milk never came in (I stopped leaking really quickly, my boobs didn't get swollen or hurt or anything) and b) I was soooo unhealthy for months after the birth that it would've taken such a toll on me and I probably would've had to quit and then I would've been even more emotionally wrecked than I already was!

queen_gen November 20 2009, 22:25:28 UTC

I've been crying while reading this. My God. I don't know what else to say, though. You're incredible for getting through it, here you are a year later and it is still traumatising, but you're still going. That's some severely depressing story ( ... )

justreadmyspine November 22 2009, 04:48:09 UTC

I agree, it was depressing. And still is ( ... )

queen_gen November 23 2009, 07:28:40 UTC

The reason I "gave you flack" for not breastfeeding was that I found it to be one of the best things about mommy- and baby-hood. The closeness was indescribable. Your birth was very similar to the birth of Ilan and I too was extremely depressed after you were born. I still believe that breastfeeding helped me get through some of the depression.

I always feel that heart-melting love for Ilan and you know I never thought that would happen. I could stare at perfect little Ilan for hours at a time. Every day he amazes me and every day I count my blessings to have you both in my life . It is so wonderful to watch Ilan learn so many news things every day. Life is such a joy and an adventure for him. We should all be so lucky.

queen_gen November 24 2009, 07:50:59 UTC

I don't know how long we were in foster care, I was really young. In my memory it was about two years and we were shafted from place to place a few times before we finally got to live with our parents again. But when I look back logically on my memories and piece together the ages we all were, I know it can't have been that long. I remember my parents taking me to preschool, and I also remember them taking me to my first day at kindergarten. So it was less than a year and may have been only a few months.

Jeffrey, the youngest, was in care for longer than that, but that's because he had cerebral palsy and lived with a dedicated nurse. He was a year and a half when he finally came to live with us, and by that time most of the physical problems he had were gone. For instance, he'd been born completely paralysed in his left side, but he was walking and moving normally after all the work the nurse did with him.

Thread 6