Question and Answer-Part 2
Genre: Romance/Friendship
Characters/Parings: Tony/Ziva, mentions of Ziva/Ray
Rating: T for language
Season: current. Major Spoilers for 9x12: Housekeeping and 9x13: A Desperate Man
Summary: Because she never did answer his question, and now it seems so important that she does. A look at what happened after that phone call ended. Part 2 of 2.
You can read Part One Here.
A/N: Hi all! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first part of the story! It was so nice to read all of your kind words! Also, thanks to everyone who has favorited this story or put it on alert. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Here is the last part of this tag, set during 9x13: A Desperate Man and based loosely off the promos and spoilers for this episode. It turned out to be way longer than I planned, but it seemed that Ziva had a lot to say. Hopefully you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not only any rights to NCIS or characters mentioned in this story. Sadly, I am just a poor, broke fanfiction writer. :)
A/N2: The story picks up the morning after part one ends.
The sunlight woke her, and she bolted up in the bed groping blindly in the all too bright sun for her side arm. Why was it so bright? And where was she? Squeezing her eyes shut, she held her Sig out in front of her and listened. Cautiously, she opened one eye and her bedroom swam into view, bringing sharp, searing pain with it. She placed the weapon back on the now she felt like an idiot. Of course she was at home, otherwise there would be no gun in the bedside table. Squinting she managed to open both eyes, only to have the world tilt as the dizziness struck her. With a groan, she fell back onto the bed pushing the heels of her hands forcefully onto her eyes as she tried to make the world stop spinning.
What did she drink last night?
She swallowed against the engorged, parched feeling of her tongue as some of the night's memories began to return. Oh god, what had she not drank? Uttering a small moan, she managed to turn away from the blinding sunlight, and curl onto her side. Tony's face blurred in her mind, grinning at her and stealing shots out from in front of her. She smiled as much as the pounding in her head would allow. Well that explained at least why she wasn't hospitalized currently. Her smile widened slightly, it was certainly nice of him to do that.
She blinked slowly at her alarm clock as sleep began to reclaim her, tequila shots might have been the worst idea she had ever had. Tony's smile and the way he'd looked at her outside her apartment last night flitted through her memory, or maybe it was the best idea she had in a while.
A new wave of dizziness and nausea sent her rushing for the bathroom.
Nope, definitely a bad idea.
tZt
Two and a half hours later, she managed to make it to an upright position at her kitchen table, showered, dressed, and clutching a water bottle to her chest. Thank god they were only on call today, and not actually expected to be in the office because at this rate she was not sure she could make it, and it was already 11am. She had been beaten, shot, stabbed, and had pretty much any other injury one could think of in her lifetime, but right now, she was fairly positive this hangover was going to be the thing that beat her in. Or was the phrase "did her in"? Ugh, idioms only made the pounding worse.
The knocking at the door sounded like the exploding rounds of an AK-47 to her hyper sensitive ears and caused her to jump to her feet. She slowly made her way to the door fully intent on being rid this extremely loud knocker as quickly as possible so that she could return to her silence and meager attempts to rehydrate herself. She wrenched open the door and was met with the coal black hair and glittering brown eyes of the man she had not seen in over 6 months.
"Ray." she uttered, her eyebrows raising in shock.
"Surprise!" Ray sent her a giant smile, and stepped forward to envelope her in a hug, "I got here early and came straight over to see you." his voice shot straight into her ear causing her to wince at the much too loud sound. He leaned back to press a kiss to her parched lips and noticed her grimace.
"What's wrong?" he asked, stroking a hand across her cheek. God, she really wished he would stop touching her, everything hurt at the moment.
"It is nothing really," she managed to grit out as he led her over to the sofa, "just a hangover that I am not quite yet over."
"Ah," he said with a chuckle, "celebrating my return?"
She tilted her head, well he had been the original reason behind her tequila binge, although celebration was a rather strong word.
"In a manner of speaking," she replied, managing a small smile at him, "although our most recent case was also very successful."
"Good, I'm glad," he leaned forward to place another kiss against her lips, "Oh Ziva you have no idea how much I've missed you these past months." He leaned forward again and began to kiss his way down her neck.
No, no, no, this was not going there right now. For one, touching was way too painful at the moment, and it was making her dizzy again in a not so good way. Second, they needed to talk. She gave a sharp shove to his chest and he pulled back to look at her, confusion and just a twinge of hurt flitting across his features.
"Not enough to call it would seem."
He sighed, "Ziva,..."
"Ray, we need to talk."
Sighing again, he hung his head in defeat and replied, "I know."
She closed her eyes and tried to make the room stop spinning threateningly. God, this conversation was going to be even harder to have given the current pounding in her head.
"Look, Ray..."she started, trying to find the words. Damn, she still had not decided what she needed to say to him.
Then the phone began to ring, causing her headache to throb painfully as she fumbled in her pocket for the offending object.
Seriously, what was with cell phones and interrupting important moments in her life recently?
She brusquely flipped open the phone and managed to somewhat politely utter,
"David"
"Ziver, we got a case." Gibbs barked from the other end of the line, "DiNozzo is on his way to pick you up."
"Okay." she returned, dragging herself up from the sofa, stopping momentarily as the room began to spin. She made her way to the closet as Ray followed close behind, his face furrowed as he read something on his phone.
"Be ready in five, DiNozzo should be there soon." Gibbs replied, then McGee's voice could be heard in the background with a faint "Boss, that light just turned red." There was the faint noise of screeching tires and blaring car horns before McGee uttered a relieved "Oh thank god," and the line went dead.
Ziva lowered the phone from her ear with a small chuckle. She had never understood why the team had always hated her driving, Gibbs was just as bad. She grabbed her coat and turned around to find Ray looking at her expectantly.
"You have a case," he stated.
"And you have something for work?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow as his phone buzzed again.
"Yes..." he paused, "I have to...check in. I came straight here as soon as I landed. The CIA is pretty ticked off that I haven't filed my report yet." He smiled at her.
There it was again, that slightly strained look that crossed his face whenever he was holding something back from her. She hated that look, and yet knew it far too well. She tilted her head to side, staring at him and wondering not for the first time if she was the real reason he was in town.
"Well then we should go, yes?" she said brusquely, turning to grab her sidearm and badge before briskly exiting her apartment and heading downstairs into the bright outside, leaving Ray to follow at his own pace. She paused on the sidewalk as another bout of nausea hit her, and the space behind her eyes pounded belligerently. God, this was the worst day ever to have hangover.
She felt Ray's hand touch her shoulder to turn her around, and she winced at the sudden motion.
"Hey," he said softly, his eyes pleading with hers, "I know we need to talk sweetheart, and I promise we will just please don't run away until we've had a chance to talk this out." he reached his hand out to grab hers, "Look, I promise I will come by tonight and we can talk, okay?"
She sighed, maybe she was running before he had a chance to explain and that was not quite fair. "Okay," she muttered softly, the word tasting vaguely sour in her mouth.
"Good," he grinned and leaned toward her to peck her lips lightly. "I'll see you tonight," and with that he was moving toward the edge of the street to hail a taxi.
Ziva stared after him, a strange knot forming in the pit of her stomach, until the soft roar of an engine alerted her to the presence of Tony's mustang.
Opening the side door, she threw herself into the vehicle, groaning slightly as her headache intensified against the forceful motion.
"Good morning to you too," he said with forced cheerfulness. He reached over to hand her a large coffee and a new bottle of water along with two aspirin. "Here, I thought you could use these. You're not looking so good."
She fixed an indignant stare on her partner, taking in his pale face, unkempt hair, and the sunglasses hiding what was sure to be bloodshot eyes. She snorted, "Well, you look no better yourself. In fact, you look a little like hell cooled over."
"Warmed over, it's hell warmed over," he corrected as he pulled into traffic.
She gave a frustrated huff, "That makes absolutely no sense. Why would hell be warmed over? Is it not already hot?" She leaned further into the seat with a frown, idioms were even more confusing when hungover.
He chuckled, "Well it is your fault for my less than dapper appearance, Agent David. You were the one that would not stop ordering tequila." He glanced at her with a teasing smile.
"Ah, ah, ah," she waved a finger in his direction, "do not blame this on me, I distinctly remember you agreeing to my deal."
"Well I didn't realize I was agreeing to drink with a Russian sailor on leave, or else I would have rethought that decision."
She laughed, "Yes, I can be intense sometimes."
"Only sometimes?" he teased, his eyebrows raising above the black rims of his sunglasses.
"Oh shush," she murmured, her mouth stretching into an easy smile. Looking out the window, she took a small sip of her coffee, moaning slightly in appreciation.
"Thank you for the coffee," she said turning to face him again.
He gave her a small grin, "You're welcome."
They fell into a comfortable silence as he drove down the freeway. Ziva smiled against the lip of her coffee. She was glad that she and Tony were finally spending time together outside of work again. Ever since EJ and Ray, they had not really hung out. She had missed it far more than she thought she would.
Traffic brought their car to a standstill on an overpass, and with a heavy sigh Tony pushed his sunglasses onto the top of his head and turned to face her, breaking the silence.
"So...Ray is back."
She mimicked his sigh, pulling herself up in the seat, she had wondered if he had arrived in time to notice Ray's departure.
"Yes, he came by this morning," she replied, suddenly finding a strange fascination with her coffee lid.
"Hmmm," he uttered pensively, "Seems strange that he only called the night before he shows up. CIA's usually a little less last minute with their plans are they not?"
She looked up to meet his green stare, "Yes...I find that to be a little too coincidental as well, but we did not have much of a chance to talk before Gibbs called."
He held her stare, his eyes sparkling, "Did you figure out what you need to say?"
She swallowed hard against the intensity of his gaze, "Not yet."
He smiled at her and turned back to face the steering wheel, "Don't worry, you'll figure it out."
She continued to stare at him, wondering when they started to form the habit of being so candid and honest with each other.
Suddenly, the car behind them started to blast their horn at the traffic holdup, the blaring noise causing them both to groan in pain.
Damn, this was going to be a long day.
tZt
The day turned even longer than she expected in the end, taking them all through the night and into the next morning with only enough time to catch a quick nap in at her desk. Still, by the time 10am arrived, her hangover was mostly gone, at least enough to stomach the breakfast burritos McGee had brought. However, her impatience with one Ray Cruz was fast escalating. Her calls to him last night to inform him of her extended stay in the bullpen had gone unanswered, and he had yet to even send her a simple text message in reply.
She sighed as she flipped her phone open to check for a message yet again. An empty screen greeted her, and she shut the phone with a snap. She was starting to feel like a third heel on this visit of Ray's. Or was it a third wheel? Whatever, she was fast losing the little patience she had left. Her head dropped the desk with a sharp thump.
"Problems in the Raydom?" a soft voice asked, and she jerked her head back up to meet the questioning green eyes of her partner.
"That is one way to describe it, yes," she replied letting out a frustrated huff of air and stood from the desk, "However, I am starting to find the right words to say."
His eyes flashed with pride and an emotion she couldn't decipher, "See I told you you'd figure it out."
"Well go say it then," Gibbs interrupted as he barreled through the bullpen on his way to the elevator. "Go on, get outta here, can't do anything more until Abby gets some results."
She grabbed her coat and shrugged into it, eager to finally get some much needed rest.
"Come on, I'll drive you home," his voice startled her and made her gape at him, unsure of what to say to his bold assumption. He noticed her unease and chuckled lightly. "You know, seeing as you don't have a car since I picked you up yesterday," he expounded his eyes shimmering with amusement, "Unless of course you prefer walking or McGee's driving."
She felt a her cheeks burn slightly. "Right...of course," she cleared her throat, "lead the way." God, when had she started reading so much into Tony's words? Clearly she needed less alcohol and more sleep in her life. She walked briskly in the direction of the elevator, Tony's bemused laughter following close behind.
tZt
He was standing outside of her apartment building as she got out of the car and bid Tony farewell. She frowned at him; he looked showered, shaven, and well-rested, hardly an excuse for not calling. Her eyes narrowed even more as he made his way toward her, a cheerful smile on his face.
"Hey beautiful, I got your call...," he started.
"Which you were apparently incapable of returning," she interrupted, rage beginning to boil in the pit of her stomach, "but since you are neither bleeding nor dying, I am having difficulty understanding why that was so." She let out a frustrated "ugh" and turned on her heel intending to put some distance between herself and the infuriating man blocking the path to her apartment before she did something rash...like accidentally shoot him.
"Ziva!" Ray followed after her quickly,"wait...please." Catching up to her, he grabbed her elbow. Uttering a strangled noise, she wrenched her arm out of her grasp and furiously met his pleading face.
He sighed deeply, running a hand along the back of his neck, "Look, I know that communication has been sparse between us these past few months, and it's been mostly my fault..."
"Oh really?" she scoffed in disbelief.
"Okay, it was all my fault," he conceded.
"That seems more accurate," she returned swiftly, and his face blanched slightly at the venom in her tone. She closed her eyes and took a slow breath feeling some of the anger dissipate. This was fast getting out of hand. "Look Ray, I understand that you cannot call frequently," she took another breath, the disappointment of the last few weeks lacing through her voice, "I just wish that you would not also disappear whenever you are able to be here instead."
He took her hands in his, "I know, and I am so sorry if I've hurt you by being distant these past few weeks." He smiled at her, "However, I've been thinking about something a lot recently, and I was so worried that if we spoke too much, the words would just come slipping out. Which is not how I wanted to do this."
The anger and disappointment surged inside her chest again as he tried to placate her with some excuse. "Seriously Ray?", her voice cracked slightly with frustration, "And just what could be so important that it prevents you from calling, or even replying to a damn email?"
She turned then, jerking her hands from his, and managed to take a few steps before she heard his reply.
"This," she heard him say, and she shifted to face him again just as he went down on one knee,
"Ziva David, will you marry me?"
She stared at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, her thoughts flittering around her brain as she desperately tried to process what had just happened.
"No." Ray's face fell.
Wait, what? Had she just said that? That was surely not what she was supposed to say, she struggled to gain some control back over her scattered emotions.
"I mean yes...," she corrected, the words feeling strange and bitter on her tongue; that didn't feel right either. "I mean...," she hastily moved forward to pull Ray to his feet, trying hard not to look too closely at the glittering diamond he held in his hand.
He fixed her with a perplexed yet hopeful stare. Sighing, she took a ragged breath, "Look Ray, I...," her mind felt like thick putty, and all her thoughts stuck in a sticky quagmire, "I...," how was she supposed to respond to this?
"I just need some time...," she stuttered, well that would work. "We have just been fighting, and now this?" she continued, gesturing at the ring box clenched in his hand, "I just need some time to process everything."
He exhaled heavily. "Okay," he said defeatedly, "of course, I understand, take all the time that you need." He flashed her a small smile and placed the red velvet box in her hand, closing her fingers around it. "Just promise me you'll still meet me for drinks at 4? If you're free that is. You don't have to give me an answer then, but it would be nice to spend some time with you," his smile turning sheepish. "After all, I hear that I've been a pretty big ass for ignoring my girlfriend for the past few weeks."
She chuckled tensely at his remark, the heavy reality of the box in her hand causing a slight panic to rise in her throat.
"Okay," she choked out affirmatively, "I will see you there."
Of her other answer she was much less positive.
tZt
An hour later, she found herself standing in front of the run down faded wooden door leading to Gibbs' basement. She really couldn't say why she had come here exactly, or why she seemed paralyzed at its entrance either, except that the shiny symbol of commitment in her pocket was causing her reasoning to short-circuit and that maybe a slap to the head might help clarify her answer.
"Well Ziver are ya just gonna stand at the top of my stairs all day, or do you think you might come down soon?" Gibbs voice echoed up from the basement, causing her to jump in shock.
She peered cautiously around the doorframe, glancing at the silver haired agent below her sanding a long flat dark wood board.
"How did you...?" she muttered in shock, causing Gibbs to let out a hearty laugh.
"Your breathing Ziver," he replied, raising a finger to his ear, "Could hear ya panic all the way down here."
"Oh," she squeaked, embarrassment staining her cheeks red. She made her way slowly down the steps before stopping to sit on the last one, staring blankly at him as he continued to methodically run the hand plane over the wooden board.
"So?" he said expectantly, "Any reason you're having panic attacks at the top of my stairs when I told you to go home?"
She gulped, "Um..." God, this was really hard to say for some reason.
"Spit it out, Ziver."
"Ray proposed to me this morning," the words came tumbling out of her still stunned mouth.
The hands moving the tool stopped, and Gibbs let out a sigh, turning to meet her dazed expression.
"And?..." he drawled, raising his eyebrows and looking pointedly at her, "Well, am I gonna to need to rent a tux sometime soon or...?"
She hung her head and ran her hands over her hair nervously, bringing them to rest on the back of her neck.
"I did not know what to say," she murmured dejectedly at the floor and then raised her head to stare at him, wishing for some form of guidance.
He chuckled softly and shook his head at her, moving to sit beside her on the step.
"Ziver, I can't tell you what to say," he gave her shoulder a soft squeeze, "but I can tell you that it shouldn't be this hard."
She stared at him in disbelief.
"How is this easy?" she uttered indignantly, throwing her hands into the air, "I mean my mind is filled with all of these reasons for and against this, and I have absolutely no instincts for romantic choices...," she trailed off shaking her head incredulously, "How am I supposed to decide when I cannot even sort out my own thoughts?"
He smiled at her, an affectionate gleam in his blue eyes, "Simple, you don't try to sort out your thoughts. You listen to your heart, Ziver. It's the important part here."
She closed her eyes against his words, "I do no think I know how to do that Gibbs. What if I am never able to?"
He pressed a light kiss to the side of her head, "Oh it'll happen all right, and once you notice, it'll be the only thing you can hear."
"Is that how it was with Shannon?" she can't stop herself from asking, her eyes opening again to gauge his answer.
"Oh yeah...,"he trailed off with a sideways grin, a bittersweet look in his eyes, and for a moment she could see just how much the murdered police officer's wife was affecting him. He gave his head a small shake and looked again at her uncertain gaze,
"And it'll happen for you too, Ziver. You deserve to wait until it does."
The part of her that hated weakness couldn't help but resist, "How do you know it already has not happened for me?" She fixed him with a defiant stare.
He laughed and hauled himself upright, "Because you're sitting here in my basement instead of out celebrating with a fiance, that's why."
Her resistance deflated, "Oh yes...well..."
"Now are ya done moping in my basement?"
She gave a small smile and stood, "Yes I believe so."
He reached over and gave the back of her head a light tap, causing her to wince out of reflex, "Good. Now get outta my basement and go do what you need to do." Then he was bounding up the stairs muttering something that sounded vaguely like, "This basement is turning into a shrink's office."
And she couldn't help but laugh.
tZt
She sat sullenly at the bar table, moving the straw round and round in her water glass. As the hands on the clock on the bar's backsplash moved around to read 4 'o'clock, she lost herself in the mindless motion until a hand on her shoulder startled her out of her reverie.
"Hey," Ray said softly, leaning into place a soft kiss on her cheek before settling into the seat beside her.
"Hey," she replied, giving him a small smile.
"So...how the rest of your day?"
She gave a strangled chuckle, "It was...eventful," she took solace in the delay the small talk provided, "Yours?"
He smiled at her indulgently, "It passed way too slowly, 4 'o'clock took forever to get here."
For a moment his stare was so open and loving that she didn't want to go through with what she was about to do. She just wanted to avoid the hurt she was about the cause him, to go back to pretending he was what she wanted, what she needed. But then her chest tightened uncomfortably at the thought of putting this off any longer, and she knew she had to end this now.
"Ray," she started softly, pulling the ring box out of her coat pocket, "I...," she drew one last breath for courage,
"Ray, I cannot marry you." The words fell from her lips easy and fluid, surprising her.
The shimmer in his eyes went out, and he exhaled a long burst of air, "I know."
She frowned at him, perplexed, "You knew?"
He sighed again, his voice tinged with sadness, "Yeah, I suspected it," he glanced at her, "A few months ago, when I realized I couldn't be what you wanted, or what you deserved."
"Yet you still proposed?"
He let out a morose laugh, "Well, I'm a selfish bastard," he said in a deprecating tone, "I'd be stupid not to purpose to you. You're amazing and I do love you. It's just not enough though, to be the something permanent you deserve."
She stared at him in amazement, the words she had been trying to find for the past 48 hours spilling from his mouth. Her eyes softened as she placed her hand over his,
"I am sorry that we could not be that for each other." Because she was sorry; sorry that she had broken his heart in figuring out what she didn't want in life.
He picked the ring box up from the table and twirled it in his hand lightly, "Yeah...," he trailed off wordlessly before pocketing the ring and standing up.
"You'll find what you're searching for Ziva David," he said brightly, then with a gleam in his eye he added, "Maybe even closer than you think."
She stared up at him, confusion etched on her features. This whole conversation had been one strange twist after another.
He chuckled, "Come on Ziva. You can't tell me you don't see it."
"See what?"
"That movie loving partner of yours," Ray cajoled lightly, "No matter how much you deny and say you're like a sister to him, Ziva, I've seen the way he looks at you. Trust me, brothers do no look at their sisters the way Tony DiNozzo looks at you."
She gave a nervous laugh as she gazed at him in shock, his words sending emotions fluttering around her stomach. Ray clearly did not know anything about who he was talking of.
Ray laughed, his eyes crinkling into a large grin at her flabbergasted expression, "Take care of yourself Ziva."
"You too," she managed to reply.
Then he was gone, and she felt the tightness in her chest decompress completely, leaving her with only a twinge of sadness, and confusion over whether her heart had just checked out long ago, or if it had ever been present to begin with.
tZt
When he walked into the bar twenty minutes later, she was still in the same place. Silently, he pulled out Ray's vacated chair and sat down, waiting for her to meet his gaze before speaking,
"Gibbs said you'd be here."
She laughed and rolled her eyes in disbelief, "How does he do that? I did not tell him where I would be."
He shared in her laughter, his green eyes almost emerald in the dim bar, "Dunno. It's like a freaky sixth sense. I swear the man came out of an experimental lab in the Nevada desert, not rural Pennsylvania."
She grinned, "You having been watching too many science fiction films recently."
He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, giving her a shy grin, "Maybe."
They fell silent, listening to the soft sounds of the bar as people filtered in from their workdays.
"Ray proposed," the statement was out before she had a chance to realize it, but she decided to leave it. He deserved to hear the end of this story.
He made small choked sound, his eyes widening slightly in shock and something akin to sadness before replying, "Wow...um..."
"I said no," she felt the need to rectify quickly, watching how his eyes flickered through a plethora of emotions including a surprising glimmer of hope, until their green depths settled on sympathy.
"I'm sorry Ziva."
She glanced down at the table, "It is okay. We parted as friends."
"Yeah, but it still doesn't make it any easier."
Looking back up she met his concerned stare, "I think it was over long before now, I just had not realized it. He was not what I wanted," she sighed. "I'm not sure if he ever was," she's surprised by her honesty with him.
They were silent for a moment more, before she realized he must have came to find her for a reason.
"I take it Abby has found something?" she questioned, moving to put on her coat and toss a few dollars down for the tab.
He fell back into work mode easily, getting up and moving with her toward the door.
"Yep, Boss wants us back to question the husband."
They moved onto the sidewalk and begin to head toward his car.
"I should warn you," he said to her suddenly, his face twisting into a mischievous smirk, "McGee may have found out about the 200 dollar bar tab we billed to Tim McSurly last night."
She laughed, remembering their drunk plan to bill McGee for their and two rounds of the bar patrons' drinks last night as retribution for his remarks, "We should really pay him back for that."
"Nah," he gave her a sideways grin, "McPartyAnimal has Tommy and Lisa to pay for that; he can afford it."
"Tony!" she admonished teasingly, and he laughed at her sober morality.
She stopped moving then, staring after him in the dusky light. She never did answer his question, and suddenly it seemed really important to her that they finish the conversation Ray interrupted two days ago. Because he deserved to know this too, and frankly she was tired of him questioning his place in her life when he was one of the only constants in it.
"Tony…,"she said hesitantly, feeling her courage slip as he turned around to face her.
"Ziva...,"he drawled, the grin slipping from his face as he noted the serious tone her voice has taken.
"Yes," she blurted out before she lost all nerve, "Yes."
He stared at her, and she could practically see his mind trying to work that one out.
"Is there more to that particular statement…or did we start playing Who's Line and I missed it?"
She frowned; she had not a clue what the last part of that sentence meant, but she could only assume it was some sort of movie or TV show. Not that it mattered, she got the gist.
"Yes…," she took a deep breath and elaborated, "Yes, you are a part of my life."
"Oh…," his eyes widened, then more softly, "…oh."
He stared at her, and she couldn't help but stare back. She wished he would say something, anything really, other than just "oh," but then she and Tony had never had the most articulate partnership.
Then he grinned, his mouth widening into one of those full, honest smiles she had not seen in a while.
"Okay," his green eyes sparkled in the twilight, "Good."
She smiled back, "Okay."
And suddenly she realized those words didn't taste sour or strange at all, they were sweet. She closed her eyes in relief; this felt right. Slowly, she opened her eyes again, and raised her head thinking they should probably head back to the office before Gibbs fired them, and found him suddenly right in front of her. How had she not noticed him moving? Her eyes widened as she met his stare and was met with an expression that she couldn't name but it went straight through her, making her stomach flutter.
Ray was right, brothers did not look at you that way.
Suddenly, his hand raised and rested it lightly against her cheek, mirroring his actions from the other night, and she gasped lightly. His gaze held hers just a minute more before he bent his head and brushed his lips lightly across her cheek.
"Just so you know," he whispered, his breath hot against her ear, "you are a part of my life as well."
Her pulse pounded in her ears, and her brain felt slightly intoxicated as he pulled back to lock eyes with her again. Dumbfounded, she stared back at him, his gaze serious and probing.
"Is that so?" she finally managed to quip, her cheek still burning from where his lips had been.
He grinned then, the kind of smile that made her chest constrict in an unfamiliar way.
"Yeah," he replied confidently, his green eyes sparkling, "Definitely."
Then he stepped back, his eyes still holding hers, and she found herself letting out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. A moment more passed, and then he gave a small nod as though satisfied with what he was seeing in her expression.
"Well then," he started, and she saw the familiar playful expression return to his features, "shall we m' lady?" He extended his arm toward her with a silly smile.
Laughing, she decided to play along, and stepped forward to link her arm through his, trying to ignore the way his grin widened as she did. Silently, they walked the last fifteen feet to his car, and he opened the passenger side door for her, causing her to raise an eyebrow in his direction. He shrugged in response, sending her a sly smile.
With another small laugh, she went to get in the car, his hand accidentally brushing hers causing her stomach to jolt slightly again, and as her partner got into the car and started to drive them back to the Navy Yard, she realized something. Her heart was still pounding, her pulse beating an erratic rhythm against her ribcage.
"...Listen to your heart, Ziver. It's the most important part here."
"I do not think I know how to do that Gibbs. What if I am never able to?"
"Oh it'll happen alright, and once you notice, it'll be the only thing you can hear."
Glancing over at the man next to her, the dim traffic lights dancing across his handsome features, she gave a small smile.
Maybe her heart did have something to say after all.
tZt
A/N: And that's the end! Thanks so much for reading! Please review if you enjoyed, I love reading everyone's thoughts on the story. Also, I have a few thoughts floating around in my head for a short sequel based on spoilers for future episodes and such, so let me know if you would like me to continue with a short followup. :) Hope you enjoyed and hopefully tonights's episode of NCIS will be only push Tony/Ziva further together.
Characters/Parings: Tony/Ziva, mentions of Ziva/Ray
Rating: T for language
Season: current. Major Spoilers for 9x12: Housekeeping and 9x13: A Desperate Man
Summary: Because she never did answer his question, and now it seems so important that she does. A look at what happened after that phone call ended. Part 2 of 2.
You can read Part One Here.
A/N: Hi all! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first part of the story! It was so nice to read all of your kind words! Also, thanks to everyone who has favorited this story or put it on alert. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Here is the last part of this tag, set during 9x13: A Desperate Man and based loosely off the promos and spoilers for this episode. It turned out to be way longer than I planned, but it seemed that Ziva had a lot to say. Hopefully you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not only any rights to NCIS or characters mentioned in this story. Sadly, I am just a poor, broke fanfiction writer. :)
A/N2: The story picks up the morning after part one ends.
The sunlight woke her, and she bolted up in the bed groping blindly in the all too bright sun for her side arm. Why was it so bright? And where was she? Squeezing her eyes shut, she held her Sig out in front of her and listened. Cautiously, she opened one eye and her bedroom swam into view, bringing sharp, searing pain with it. She placed the weapon back on the now she felt like an idiot. Of course she was at home, otherwise there would be no gun in the bedside table. Squinting she managed to open both eyes, only to have the world tilt as the dizziness struck her. With a groan, she fell back onto the bed pushing the heels of her hands forcefully onto her eyes as she tried to make the world stop spinning.
What did she drink last night?
She swallowed against the engorged, parched feeling of her tongue as some of the night's memories began to return. Oh god, what had she not drank? Uttering a small moan, she managed to turn away from the blinding sunlight, and curl onto her side. Tony's face blurred in her mind, grinning at her and stealing shots out from in front of her. She smiled as much as the pounding in her head would allow. Well that explained at least why she wasn't hospitalized currently. Her smile widened slightly, it was certainly nice of him to do that.
She blinked slowly at her alarm clock as sleep began to reclaim her, tequila shots might have been the worst idea she had ever had. Tony's smile and the way he'd looked at her outside her apartment last night flitted through her memory, or maybe it was the best idea she had in a while.
A new wave of dizziness and nausea sent her rushing for the bathroom.
Nope, definitely a bad idea.
tZt
Two and a half hours later, she managed to make it to an upright position at her kitchen table, showered, dressed, and clutching a water bottle to her chest. Thank god they were only on call today, and not actually expected to be in the office because at this rate she was not sure she could make it, and it was already 11am. She had been beaten, shot, stabbed, and had pretty much any other injury one could think of in her lifetime, but right now, she was fairly positive this hangover was going to be the thing that beat her in. Or was the phrase "did her in"? Ugh, idioms only made the pounding worse.
The knocking at the door sounded like the exploding rounds of an AK-47 to her hyper sensitive ears and caused her to jump to her feet. She slowly made her way to the door fully intent on being rid this extremely loud knocker as quickly as possible so that she could return to her silence and meager attempts to rehydrate herself. She wrenched open the door and was met with the coal black hair and glittering brown eyes of the man she had not seen in over 6 months.
"Ray." she uttered, her eyebrows raising in shock.
"Surprise!" Ray sent her a giant smile, and stepped forward to envelope her in a hug, "I got here early and came straight over to see you." his voice shot straight into her ear causing her to wince at the much too loud sound. He leaned back to press a kiss to her parched lips and noticed her grimace.
"What's wrong?" he asked, stroking a hand across her cheek. God, she really wished he would stop touching her, everything hurt at the moment.
"It is nothing really," she managed to grit out as he led her over to the sofa, "just a hangover that I am not quite yet over."
"Ah," he said with a chuckle, "celebrating my return?"
She tilted her head, well he had been the original reason behind her tequila binge, although celebration was a rather strong word.
"In a manner of speaking," she replied, managing a small smile at him, "although our most recent case was also very successful."
"Good, I'm glad," he leaned forward to place another kiss against her lips, "Oh Ziva you have no idea how much I've missed you these past months." He leaned forward again and began to kiss his way down her neck.
No, no, no, this was not going there right now. For one, touching was way too painful at the moment, and it was making her dizzy again in a not so good way. Second, they needed to talk. She gave a sharp shove to his chest and he pulled back to look at her, confusion and just a twinge of hurt flitting across his features.
"Not enough to call it would seem."
He sighed, "Ziva,..."
"Ray, we need to talk."
Sighing again, he hung his head in defeat and replied, "I know."
She closed her eyes and tried to make the room stop spinning threateningly. God, this conversation was going to be even harder to have given the current pounding in her head.
"Look, Ray..."she started, trying to find the words. Damn, she still had not decided what she needed to say to him.
Then the phone began to ring, causing her headache to throb painfully as she fumbled in her pocket for the offending object.
Seriously, what was with cell phones and interrupting important moments in her life recently?
She brusquely flipped open the phone and managed to somewhat politely utter,
"David"
"Ziver, we got a case." Gibbs barked from the other end of the line, "DiNozzo is on his way to pick you up."
"Okay." she returned, dragging herself up from the sofa, stopping momentarily as the room began to spin. She made her way to the closet as Ray followed close behind, his face furrowed as he read something on his phone.
"Be ready in five, DiNozzo should be there soon." Gibbs replied, then McGee's voice could be heard in the background with a faint "Boss, that light just turned red." There was the faint noise of screeching tires and blaring car horns before McGee uttered a relieved "Oh thank god," and the line went dead.
Ziva lowered the phone from her ear with a small chuckle. She had never understood why the team had always hated her driving, Gibbs was just as bad. She grabbed her coat and turned around to find Ray looking at her expectantly.
"You have a case," he stated.
"And you have something for work?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow as his phone buzzed again.
"Yes..." he paused, "I have to...check in. I came straight here as soon as I landed. The CIA is pretty ticked off that I haven't filed my report yet." He smiled at her.
There it was again, that slightly strained look that crossed his face whenever he was holding something back from her. She hated that look, and yet knew it far too well. She tilted her head to side, staring at him and wondering not for the first time if she was the real reason he was in town.
"Well then we should go, yes?" she said brusquely, turning to grab her sidearm and badge before briskly exiting her apartment and heading downstairs into the bright outside, leaving Ray to follow at his own pace. She paused on the sidewalk as another bout of nausea hit her, and the space behind her eyes pounded belligerently. God, this was the worst day ever to have hangover.
She felt Ray's hand touch her shoulder to turn her around, and she winced at the sudden motion.
"Hey," he said softly, his eyes pleading with hers, "I know we need to talk sweetheart, and I promise we will just please don't run away until we've had a chance to talk this out." he reached his hand out to grab hers, "Look, I promise I will come by tonight and we can talk, okay?"
She sighed, maybe she was running before he had a chance to explain and that was not quite fair. "Okay," she muttered softly, the word tasting vaguely sour in her mouth.
"Good," he grinned and leaned toward her to peck her lips lightly. "I'll see you tonight," and with that he was moving toward the edge of the street to hail a taxi.
Ziva stared after him, a strange knot forming in the pit of her stomach, until the soft roar of an engine alerted her to the presence of Tony's mustang.
Opening the side door, she threw herself into the vehicle, groaning slightly as her headache intensified against the forceful motion.
"Good morning to you too," he said with forced cheerfulness. He reached over to hand her a large coffee and a new bottle of water along with two aspirin. "Here, I thought you could use these. You're not looking so good."
She fixed an indignant stare on her partner, taking in his pale face, unkempt hair, and the sunglasses hiding what was sure to be bloodshot eyes. She snorted, "Well, you look no better yourself. In fact, you look a little like hell cooled over."
"Warmed over, it's hell warmed over," he corrected as he pulled into traffic.
She gave a frustrated huff, "That makes absolutely no sense. Why would hell be warmed over? Is it not already hot?" She leaned further into the seat with a frown, idioms were even more confusing when hungover.
He chuckled, "Well it is your fault for my less than dapper appearance, Agent David. You were the one that would not stop ordering tequila." He glanced at her with a teasing smile.
"Ah, ah, ah," she waved a finger in his direction, "do not blame this on me, I distinctly remember you agreeing to my deal."
"Well I didn't realize I was agreeing to drink with a Russian sailor on leave, or else I would have rethought that decision."
She laughed, "Yes, I can be intense sometimes."
"Only sometimes?" he teased, his eyebrows raising above the black rims of his sunglasses.
"Oh shush," she murmured, her mouth stretching into an easy smile. Looking out the window, she took a small sip of her coffee, moaning slightly in appreciation.
"Thank you for the coffee," she said turning to face him again.
He gave her a small grin, "You're welcome."
They fell into a comfortable silence as he drove down the freeway. Ziva smiled against the lip of her coffee. She was glad that she and Tony were finally spending time together outside of work again. Ever since EJ and Ray, they had not really hung out. She had missed it far more than she thought she would.
Traffic brought their car to a standstill on an overpass, and with a heavy sigh Tony pushed his sunglasses onto the top of his head and turned to face her, breaking the silence.
"So...Ray is back."
She mimicked his sigh, pulling herself up in the seat, she had wondered if he had arrived in time to notice Ray's departure.
"Yes, he came by this morning," she replied, suddenly finding a strange fascination with her coffee lid.
"Hmmm," he uttered pensively, "Seems strange that he only called the night before he shows up. CIA's usually a little less last minute with their plans are they not?"
She looked up to meet his green stare, "Yes...I find that to be a little too coincidental as well, but we did not have much of a chance to talk before Gibbs called."
He held her stare, his eyes sparkling, "Did you figure out what you need to say?"
She swallowed hard against the intensity of his gaze, "Not yet."
He smiled at her and turned back to face the steering wheel, "Don't worry, you'll figure it out."
She continued to stare at him, wondering when they started to form the habit of being so candid and honest with each other.
Suddenly, the car behind them started to blast their horn at the traffic holdup, the blaring noise causing them both to groan in pain.
Damn, this was going to be a long day.
tZt
The day turned even longer than she expected in the end, taking them all through the night and into the next morning with only enough time to catch a quick nap in at her desk. Still, by the time 10am arrived, her hangover was mostly gone, at least enough to stomach the breakfast burritos McGee had brought. However, her impatience with one Ray Cruz was fast escalating. Her calls to him last night to inform him of her extended stay in the bullpen had gone unanswered, and he had yet to even send her a simple text message in reply.
She sighed as she flipped her phone open to check for a message yet again. An empty screen greeted her, and she shut the phone with a snap. She was starting to feel like a third heel on this visit of Ray's. Or was it a third wheel? Whatever, she was fast losing the little patience she had left. Her head dropped the desk with a sharp thump.
"Problems in the Raydom?" a soft voice asked, and she jerked her head back up to meet the questioning green eyes of her partner.
"That is one way to describe it, yes," she replied letting out a frustrated huff of air and stood from the desk, "However, I am starting to find the right words to say."
His eyes flashed with pride and an emotion she couldn't decipher, "See I told you you'd figure it out."
"Well go say it then," Gibbs interrupted as he barreled through the bullpen on his way to the elevator. "Go on, get outta here, can't do anything more until Abby gets some results."
She grabbed her coat and shrugged into it, eager to finally get some much needed rest.
"Come on, I'll drive you home," his voice startled her and made her gape at him, unsure of what to say to his bold assumption. He noticed her unease and chuckled lightly. "You know, seeing as you don't have a car since I picked you up yesterday," he expounded his eyes shimmering with amusement, "Unless of course you prefer walking or McGee's driving."
She felt a her cheeks burn slightly. "Right...of course," she cleared her throat, "lead the way." God, when had she started reading so much into Tony's words? Clearly she needed less alcohol and more sleep in her life. She walked briskly in the direction of the elevator, Tony's bemused laughter following close behind.
tZt
He was standing outside of her apartment building as she got out of the car and bid Tony farewell. She frowned at him; he looked showered, shaven, and well-rested, hardly an excuse for not calling. Her eyes narrowed even more as he made his way toward her, a cheerful smile on his face.
"Hey beautiful, I got your call...," he started.
"Which you were apparently incapable of returning," she interrupted, rage beginning to boil in the pit of her stomach, "but since you are neither bleeding nor dying, I am having difficulty understanding why that was so." She let out a frustrated "ugh" and turned on her heel intending to put some distance between herself and the infuriating man blocking the path to her apartment before she did something rash...like accidentally shoot him.
"Ziva!" Ray followed after her quickly,"wait...please." Catching up to her, he grabbed her elbow. Uttering a strangled noise, she wrenched her arm out of her grasp and furiously met his pleading face.
He sighed deeply, running a hand along the back of his neck, "Look, I know that communication has been sparse between us these past few months, and it's been mostly my fault..."
"Oh really?" she scoffed in disbelief.
"Okay, it was all my fault," he conceded.
"That seems more accurate," she returned swiftly, and his face blanched slightly at the venom in her tone. She closed her eyes and took a slow breath feeling some of the anger dissipate. This was fast getting out of hand. "Look Ray, I understand that you cannot call frequently," she took another breath, the disappointment of the last few weeks lacing through her voice, "I just wish that you would not also disappear whenever you are able to be here instead."
He took her hands in his, "I know, and I am so sorry if I've hurt you by being distant these past few weeks." He smiled at her, "However, I've been thinking about something a lot recently, and I was so worried that if we spoke too much, the words would just come slipping out. Which is not how I wanted to do this."
The anger and disappointment surged inside her chest again as he tried to placate her with some excuse. "Seriously Ray?", her voice cracked slightly with frustration, "And just what could be so important that it prevents you from calling, or even replying to a damn email?"
She turned then, jerking her hands from his, and managed to take a few steps before she heard his reply.
"This," she heard him say, and she shifted to face him again just as he went down on one knee,
"Ziva David, will you marry me?"
She stared at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, her thoughts flittering around her brain as she desperately tried to process what had just happened.
"No." Ray's face fell.
Wait, what? Had she just said that? That was surely not what she was supposed to say, she struggled to gain some control back over her scattered emotions.
"I mean yes...," she corrected, the words feeling strange and bitter on her tongue; that didn't feel right either. "I mean...," she hastily moved forward to pull Ray to his feet, trying hard not to look too closely at the glittering diamond he held in his hand.
He fixed her with a perplexed yet hopeful stare. Sighing, she took a ragged breath, "Look Ray, I...," her mind felt like thick putty, and all her thoughts stuck in a sticky quagmire, "I...," how was she supposed to respond to this?
"I just need some time...," she stuttered, well that would work. "We have just been fighting, and now this?" she continued, gesturing at the ring box clenched in his hand, "I just need some time to process everything."
He exhaled heavily. "Okay," he said defeatedly, "of course, I understand, take all the time that you need." He flashed her a small smile and placed the red velvet box in her hand, closing her fingers around it. "Just promise me you'll still meet me for drinks at 4? If you're free that is. You don't have to give me an answer then, but it would be nice to spend some time with you," his smile turning sheepish. "After all, I hear that I've been a pretty big ass for ignoring my girlfriend for the past few weeks."
She chuckled tensely at his remark, the heavy reality of the box in her hand causing a slight panic to rise in her throat.
"Okay," she choked out affirmatively, "I will see you there."
Of her other answer she was much less positive.
tZt
An hour later, she found herself standing in front of the run down faded wooden door leading to Gibbs' basement. She really couldn't say why she had come here exactly, or why she seemed paralyzed at its entrance either, except that the shiny symbol of commitment in her pocket was causing her reasoning to short-circuit and that maybe a slap to the head might help clarify her answer.
"Well Ziver are ya just gonna stand at the top of my stairs all day, or do you think you might come down soon?" Gibbs voice echoed up from the basement, causing her to jump in shock.
She peered cautiously around the doorframe, glancing at the silver haired agent below her sanding a long flat dark wood board.
"How did you...?" she muttered in shock, causing Gibbs to let out a hearty laugh.
"Your breathing Ziver," he replied, raising a finger to his ear, "Could hear ya panic all the way down here."
"Oh," she squeaked, embarrassment staining her cheeks red. She made her way slowly down the steps before stopping to sit on the last one, staring blankly at him as he continued to methodically run the hand plane over the wooden board.
"So?" he said expectantly, "Any reason you're having panic attacks at the top of my stairs when I told you to go home?"
She gulped, "Um..." God, this was really hard to say for some reason.
"Spit it out, Ziver."
"Ray proposed to me this morning," the words came tumbling out of her still stunned mouth.
The hands moving the tool stopped, and Gibbs let out a sigh, turning to meet her dazed expression.
"And?..." he drawled, raising his eyebrows and looking pointedly at her, "Well, am I gonna to need to rent a tux sometime soon or...?"
She hung her head and ran her hands over her hair nervously, bringing them to rest on the back of her neck.
"I did not know what to say," she murmured dejectedly at the floor and then raised her head to stare at him, wishing for some form of guidance.
He chuckled softly and shook his head at her, moving to sit beside her on the step.
"Ziver, I can't tell you what to say," he gave her shoulder a soft squeeze, "but I can tell you that it shouldn't be this hard."
She stared at him in disbelief.
"How is this easy?" she uttered indignantly, throwing her hands into the air, "I mean my mind is filled with all of these reasons for and against this, and I have absolutely no instincts for romantic choices...," she trailed off shaking her head incredulously, "How am I supposed to decide when I cannot even sort out my own thoughts?"
He smiled at her, an affectionate gleam in his blue eyes, "Simple, you don't try to sort out your thoughts. You listen to your heart, Ziver. It's the important part here."
She closed her eyes against his words, "I do no think I know how to do that Gibbs. What if I am never able to?"
He pressed a light kiss to the side of her head, "Oh it'll happen all right, and once you notice, it'll be the only thing you can hear."
"Is that how it was with Shannon?" she can't stop herself from asking, her eyes opening again to gauge his answer.
"Oh yeah...,"he trailed off with a sideways grin, a bittersweet look in his eyes, and for a moment she could see just how much the murdered police officer's wife was affecting him. He gave his head a small shake and looked again at her uncertain gaze,
"And it'll happen for you too, Ziver. You deserve to wait until it does."
The part of her that hated weakness couldn't help but resist, "How do you know it already has not happened for me?" She fixed him with a defiant stare.
He laughed and hauled himself upright, "Because you're sitting here in my basement instead of out celebrating with a fiance, that's why."
Her resistance deflated, "Oh yes...well..."
"Now are ya done moping in my basement?"
She gave a small smile and stood, "Yes I believe so."
He reached over and gave the back of her head a light tap, causing her to wince out of reflex, "Good. Now get outta my basement and go do what you need to do." Then he was bounding up the stairs muttering something that sounded vaguely like, "This basement is turning into a shrink's office."
And she couldn't help but laugh.
tZt
She sat sullenly at the bar table, moving the straw round and round in her water glass. As the hands on the clock on the bar's backsplash moved around to read 4 'o'clock, she lost herself in the mindless motion until a hand on her shoulder startled her out of her reverie.
"Hey," Ray said softly, leaning into place a soft kiss on her cheek before settling into the seat beside her.
"Hey," she replied, giving him a small smile.
"So...how the rest of your day?"
She gave a strangled chuckle, "It was...eventful," she took solace in the delay the small talk provided, "Yours?"
He smiled at her indulgently, "It passed way too slowly, 4 'o'clock took forever to get here."
For a moment his stare was so open and loving that she didn't want to go through with what she was about to do. She just wanted to avoid the hurt she was about the cause him, to go back to pretending he was what she wanted, what she needed. But then her chest tightened uncomfortably at the thought of putting this off any longer, and she knew she had to end this now.
"Ray," she started softly, pulling the ring box out of her coat pocket, "I...," she drew one last breath for courage,
"Ray, I cannot marry you." The words fell from her lips easy and fluid, surprising her.
The shimmer in his eyes went out, and he exhaled a long burst of air, "I know."
She frowned at him, perplexed, "You knew?"
He sighed again, his voice tinged with sadness, "Yeah, I suspected it," he glanced at her, "A few months ago, when I realized I couldn't be what you wanted, or what you deserved."
"Yet you still proposed?"
He let out a morose laugh, "Well, I'm a selfish bastard," he said in a deprecating tone, "I'd be stupid not to purpose to you. You're amazing and I do love you. It's just not enough though, to be the something permanent you deserve."
She stared at him in amazement, the words she had been trying to find for the past 48 hours spilling from his mouth. Her eyes softened as she placed her hand over his,
"I am sorry that we could not be that for each other." Because she was sorry; sorry that she had broken his heart in figuring out what she didn't want in life.
He picked the ring box up from the table and twirled it in his hand lightly, "Yeah...," he trailed off wordlessly before pocketing the ring and standing up.
"You'll find what you're searching for Ziva David," he said brightly, then with a gleam in his eye he added, "Maybe even closer than you think."
She stared up at him, confusion etched on her features. This whole conversation had been one strange twist after another.
He chuckled, "Come on Ziva. You can't tell me you don't see it."
"See what?"
"That movie loving partner of yours," Ray cajoled lightly, "No matter how much you deny and say you're like a sister to him, Ziva, I've seen the way he looks at you. Trust me, brothers do no look at their sisters the way Tony DiNozzo looks at you."
She gave a nervous laugh as she gazed at him in shock, his words sending emotions fluttering around her stomach. Ray clearly did not know anything about who he was talking of.
Ray laughed, his eyes crinkling into a large grin at her flabbergasted expression, "Take care of yourself Ziva."
"You too," she managed to reply.
Then he was gone, and she felt the tightness in her chest decompress completely, leaving her with only a twinge of sadness, and confusion over whether her heart had just checked out long ago, or if it had ever been present to begin with.
tZt
When he walked into the bar twenty minutes later, she was still in the same place. Silently, he pulled out Ray's vacated chair and sat down, waiting for her to meet his gaze before speaking,
"Gibbs said you'd be here."
She laughed and rolled her eyes in disbelief, "How does he do that? I did not tell him where I would be."
He shared in her laughter, his green eyes almost emerald in the dim bar, "Dunno. It's like a freaky sixth sense. I swear the man came out of an experimental lab in the Nevada desert, not rural Pennsylvania."
She grinned, "You having been watching too many science fiction films recently."
He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, giving her a shy grin, "Maybe."
They fell silent, listening to the soft sounds of the bar as people filtered in from their workdays.
"Ray proposed," the statement was out before she had a chance to realize it, but she decided to leave it. He deserved to hear the end of this story.
He made small choked sound, his eyes widening slightly in shock and something akin to sadness before replying, "Wow...um..."
"I said no," she felt the need to rectify quickly, watching how his eyes flickered through a plethora of emotions including a surprising glimmer of hope, until their green depths settled on sympathy.
"I'm sorry Ziva."
She glanced down at the table, "It is okay. We parted as friends."
"Yeah, but it still doesn't make it any easier."
Looking back up she met his concerned stare, "I think it was over long before now, I just had not realized it. He was not what I wanted," she sighed. "I'm not sure if he ever was," she's surprised by her honesty with him.
They were silent for a moment more, before she realized he must have came to find her for a reason.
"I take it Abby has found something?" she questioned, moving to put on her coat and toss a few dollars down for the tab.
He fell back into work mode easily, getting up and moving with her toward the door.
"Yep, Boss wants us back to question the husband."
They moved onto the sidewalk and begin to head toward his car.
"I should warn you," he said to her suddenly, his face twisting into a mischievous smirk, "McGee may have found out about the 200 dollar bar tab we billed to Tim McSurly last night."
She laughed, remembering their drunk plan to bill McGee for their and two rounds of the bar patrons' drinks last night as retribution for his remarks, "We should really pay him back for that."
"Nah," he gave her a sideways grin, "McPartyAnimal has Tommy and Lisa to pay for that; he can afford it."
"Tony!" she admonished teasingly, and he laughed at her sober morality.
She stopped moving then, staring after him in the dusky light. She never did answer his question, and suddenly it seemed really important to her that they finish the conversation Ray interrupted two days ago. Because he deserved to know this too, and frankly she was tired of him questioning his place in her life when he was one of the only constants in it.
"Tony…,"she said hesitantly, feeling her courage slip as he turned around to face her.
"Ziva...,"he drawled, the grin slipping from his face as he noted the serious tone her voice has taken.
"Yes," she blurted out before she lost all nerve, "Yes."
He stared at her, and she could practically see his mind trying to work that one out.
"Is there more to that particular statement…or did we start playing Who's Line and I missed it?"
She frowned; she had not a clue what the last part of that sentence meant, but she could only assume it was some sort of movie or TV show. Not that it mattered, she got the gist.
"Yes…," she took a deep breath and elaborated, "Yes, you are a part of my life."
"Oh…," his eyes widened, then more softly, "…oh."
He stared at her, and she couldn't help but stare back. She wished he would say something, anything really, other than just "oh," but then she and Tony had never had the most articulate partnership.
Then he grinned, his mouth widening into one of those full, honest smiles she had not seen in a while.
"Okay," his green eyes sparkled in the twilight, "Good."
She smiled back, "Okay."
And suddenly she realized those words didn't taste sour or strange at all, they were sweet. She closed her eyes in relief; this felt right. Slowly, she opened her eyes again, and raised her head thinking they should probably head back to the office before Gibbs fired them, and found him suddenly right in front of her. How had she not noticed him moving? Her eyes widened as she met his stare and was met with an expression that she couldn't name but it went straight through her, making her stomach flutter.
Ray was right, brothers did not look at you that way.
Suddenly, his hand raised and rested it lightly against her cheek, mirroring his actions from the other night, and she gasped lightly. His gaze held hers just a minute more before he bent his head and brushed his lips lightly across her cheek.
"Just so you know," he whispered, his breath hot against her ear, "you are a part of my life as well."
Her pulse pounded in her ears, and her brain felt slightly intoxicated as he pulled back to lock eyes with her again. Dumbfounded, she stared back at him, his gaze serious and probing.
"Is that so?" she finally managed to quip, her cheek still burning from where his lips had been.
He grinned then, the kind of smile that made her chest constrict in an unfamiliar way.
"Yeah," he replied confidently, his green eyes sparkling, "Definitely."
Then he stepped back, his eyes still holding hers, and she found herself letting out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. A moment more passed, and then he gave a small nod as though satisfied with what he was seeing in her expression.
"Well then," he started, and she saw the familiar playful expression return to his features, "shall we m' lady?" He extended his arm toward her with a silly smile.
Laughing, she decided to play along, and stepped forward to link her arm through his, trying to ignore the way his grin widened as she did. Silently, they walked the last fifteen feet to his car, and he opened the passenger side door for her, causing her to raise an eyebrow in his direction. He shrugged in response, sending her a sly smile.
With another small laugh, she went to get in the car, his hand accidentally brushing hers causing her stomach to jolt slightly again, and as her partner got into the car and started to drive them back to the Navy Yard, she realized something. Her heart was still pounding, her pulse beating an erratic rhythm against her ribcage.
"...Listen to your heart, Ziver. It's the most important part here."
"I do not think I know how to do that Gibbs. What if I am never able to?"
"Oh it'll happen alright, and once you notice, it'll be the only thing you can hear."
Glancing over at the man next to her, the dim traffic lights dancing across his handsome features, she gave a small smile.
Maybe her heart did have something to say after all.
tZt
A/N: And that's the end! Thanks so much for reading! Please review if you enjoyed, I love reading everyone's thoughts on the story. Also, I have a few thoughts floating around in my head for a short sequel based on spoilers for future episodes and such, so let me know if you would like me to continue with a short followup. :) Hope you enjoyed and hopefully tonights's episode of NCIS will be only push Tony/Ziva further together.